Poll: ManBearPig Vote Now!
Author has written 6 stories for Resident Evil, and Lion King.
Name:Grusnoid. Pronounced Gru-s-noid (Noid, like the thing that wrecks the freshness of your pizza.)
Real Name: Jordan
My Avatar: The terror that flaps in the night.
Favorite Quotes: Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.-Napolean Bonaparte
The word impossible is not in my dictionary. -Napolean Bonaparte
If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing. -Napolean Bonaparte
Imagination rules the world.-Napolean Bonaparte
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do. -Benjamin Franklin
The man who moves a mountain, begins by carrying away small stones. -Confucius
And on the pedestal these words appear: "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" -Sonnet by Percy Bysshe Shelley
Random Words of Inspiration: This one is not about you. Baby, you can take that bank and shove it up your big fat ass.
Crazy Cat Lady Theory, for all women who own more than two cats. As portraied on Penn & Teller Bullshit:
If you own three cats, you are 27 times craizier than the average female
If you own four, you are 256 times craizier
If you own seventy eight or more, you have all the crazy in the free world. A.K.A. Way too F'in crazy.
Favorite Movies:Goodfellas, Casino, Terminator 1&2 (James Cameron's are the best and the only ones I consider cannon.), Hellboy 1&2, Office Space, Almost any movie by Kevin Smith (Jersey Girl Ahhhh keep it away, keep it away!!) A Nightmare On Elm Street 1,3 and New Nightmare. (Wes Craven was the only one That could direct that series.) The Lost Boys, Fright Night, An American Werewolf In London, Creepshow, Most Quentin Tarantino movies, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Desperado, Batman, The Dark Knight, American Psycho (I love the scene were Christian Bale kills his friend while listening to It's Hip to be Square.), Indiana Jones 1-3 (It's not that I hate 4, I just haven't seen it.) Mask of the Phantasm, Pixar Movies, Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, Watchmen.
Favorite Shows:The Venture Brothers (NOOO I have to wait for season 5 now), True Blood, Cartoon Shows from the 1990's (Darkwing Duck, Duck Tales, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Freakazoid, Tiny Toon Adventures. (I miss those shows, now all we have is junk I wouldn't let a dog watch let alone a kid.) Batman the Animated Series ( Loved the Gothic artwork, and I loved Mark Hamill as The Joker.) Metalacolypse, Robot Chicken, Futurama (Scruffy is awesome, why because he believes in this company. And he's voiced by David Herman, a.k.a. Michael Bolton from Office Space.), Invader Zim (Let us rain some doom, down upon the filthy heads of our doomed enemies.)
Favorite Bands:The Beatles (Shocking I know, a person born in 1990 actually likes The Beatles.), Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Blue Oyster Cult, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Iron Maiden, Disturbed, Anthrax, Guns N' Roses, Mastodon, Metallica (Only from the 1980's to early 1990's), Ozzy, Pantera, Slayer, System of A Down, Queen, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Weird Al, Foreigner, Blackfoot, Thin Lizzy, The Scorpions, Great White, Eric Clapton, (Derek and the Dominoes), Arch Enemy, Slipknot, Cannibal Corpse, Deathklok, .38 Special, Supertramp, Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Steve Miller Band, ZZ Top, Van Halen, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, John Mellencamp, The Who, The Doors, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band, Reo Speedwagon, Journey, The Eagles,The Doobie Brothers, George Thorogood and The Destroyers, Dire Straits, Styx (The Greatest American Rock Band Ever, lol Big Daddy), Survivor, Billy Squier, The Animals, J.Geils Band, Grand Funk Railroad, John Fogerty, America, Boston, Kansas, Billy Joel (You are one with the Joel. Ah ha ha ha), Alice In Chains, Velvet Revolver, Audioslave, Wings (Yes I like Paul McCartney's band. You can blame the catchyness of Jet, Band on the Run, and Silly Love Songs. I just realized how f*ed up my taste in music is.), Jonathan Coulton, Many More Bands.
Favorite Book Authors:Ray Bradbury, Eric Arthur Blair A.K.A. George Orwell, Dalton Trumbo, Nicholas Pileggi.
Favorite Video Games:The Mario Bros. Series, Resident Evil (Even though I've only played 4, and have no intentions on playing 5.) Grand Theft Auto Vice City and 4. Bully, Fable Series, Madworld , Super Smash Bros. Series, House of the Dead Overkill, Red Dead Revolver, and a lot of Real Time Strategy games.
Favorite Authors and or Friends:
Resident Roach Code Metallica: Bree! The most awesome Australian I've ever meet. I'm so privliaged to know her. Her work ranges from funny to serious, and everywhere in between. If you haven't checked out her work, then what the hell is wrong with you? Go read her work. Also. Thank you for letting me torment you, in my parody series Bree. My kid brother Dalton, and I always try to find new ways to do so. XD
Arthasvs.Leon: Had a few conversations. I admire his work.
Hobohunter: A fellow American, from America. (Lol) Megan's work is just awesome. I started reading it, and was instantly hooked. She likes Jersey Girl for some insane reason. But I won't hold that against her. Megan is a natural when it comes to writing Cleon, so if you're a fan of ClariexLeon I advise you start reading her work right now!
Kozly-Bear: I've never met her, but she was the reason I became an author. The story goes like this. I was surfing Deviantart for R.E. pictures, and I stumbled across her work. I started browsing her gallery, and I found a link to one of her stories on this site. Well I start reading her story Battles of the Heart, and was addicted. After I read it, I knew that I had to write my own. And the rest as they say, is history.
rainfox88: She's one of my very best friends. Though I've never met her in real life, I hope to do so one day. She is just an awesome writer, and a great person to talk to. Read her work, it's defiantly worth your time, and attention. I personally recommend Illusion, and Til Cuffs Do Us Part. I'm also part of her community Fates Entwined, so check that out as well. (Kayla in no way, payed me to promote her community.)
Prisonerksc2-303: Tina, where do I start? Your one story, Adventures In RPD is awesome. It's so funny, and I eagerly await your next chapter. Get your head examined if you haven't read her story, then again to see how many brain cells you lost. I kid Tina, I kid. You are a constant source of inspiration, and I thank you for letting me besmirch your good name in The Failcenaries.
Special K Man: The Alpha, and The Omega. I have had a few conversations with him, and he is one of my regrets. By this, I mean that I wish I found this site sooner. That way, I could have read his work. He seems like a nice enough guy, and it sucks that he no longer writes. But that's the way the world works. It rains on the just, and unjust alike. All Watchmen references aside, he's a cool guy. He now goes by Banzai Kitty. Not sure why, but meh. It's his profile, not mine. I'll just call him Kitty. Lol, Monsters Inc.
Favorite R.E. Parings:
BillyXRebecca- One of my favorite parings, So what if Billy's older, last time I checked it was fine for older men to date younger women. (Seriously I've seen Men in their 50's dating women in their 20's.) Plus Billy is the only character to kill a final boss without the assistance of an explosion, or Explosive Device.
LeonXClaire- Come On you can't tell me that their isn't something between these two. I don't care if LeonXAda or ClaireXSteve is cannon their wrong. Ada Is a manipulative Bitch, and Steve has all the personality of sandpaper. Leon and Claire were meant to be.
ChrisXJill- I actually think that this paring is as close to cannon as you can get. I know there are people that say it's just a work relationship, and their is nothing going on romantically but I beg to differ.
Least Favorite R.E. Characters:
Ada- I Hate Ada with the fiery passion of a billion supernovas. I hated her in two and I definitely hate her in four, It was bad enough to play as her in Assignment Ada, and The Mercenaries but then she gets Separate Ways ARAUGHHHHHHHHHHH!! You play as her more than you do Leon. She stole R.E.4 from Leon and I Despise her! All She did in two was toy with Leon's emotions, and then when you saw her fall your like. YES SHE'S DEAD AND I'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN, Cue the Ewok Celebration music. Then she shows up in four and shatters your dreams of seeing her dead and gone for good. Oh take a wild guess at what she does in four, THE SAME THING SHE DID IN TWO!! She plays Leon Like a Fiddle and then leaves him to die, yeah class act the kind of woman every man should chase after, not.
Steve- Like I said before, Steve has all the personality of sandpaper. He's an annoying, maltreating, waste of space. All he did was ogle Claire, and whine. But just like Ada he's not worm chow, so you know you'll be seeing him in the distant future. My favorite part of all this is they killed off Wesker, for good this time, and he's the one who took Steve. Hopefully Albert did the humane thing, and put Steve out of our misery before departing to Africa. But knowing how people reappear in this series, I highly doubt that.
Alice- I know she's not in the games,(Thank God!) but Alice is basically Paul W. S. Anderson making his wife take all the spotlight away from R.E. I mean Milla Jovovich is not as hot as everyone thinks. She's as flat chested as a ten year old boy. And if her acting got anymore wooden, she could rival Halle Berry. I'd rather watch Underwold, at least Kate Beckinsale gives you something to look at. I hate how they just sidelined Jill in the second film, and how useless they made Claire in the third. And now they have the balls to bring Chris into the next god awful installment! It's like I told my youngest brother, Uwe Boll is Germany's answer to Ed Wood Jr. and Paul W.S. Anderson is Britain's answer to Uwe Boll.
Ashley- The first time I played R.E.4, I didn't mind Ashley. As it turns out multiple play troughs start to take their toll on your sanity. And the once bearable become unbearable, even after I took a three year hiatus, Ashely still ticked me off. I guess she was just meant to be universally panned.
Top Ten Favorite R.E. Characters:
1. Billy- Like I said, Billy's the only character to kill a main boss without an explosion, or explosive device. I like how his back story was handled, and how he could have either killed Rebecca, or left her to die but instead did the honorable thing. That speaks volumes about how he most likely was framed.
2. Rebecca- I know a lot of people think she's annoying, but she's 18. A lot of people in that age group think they know everything and can handle themselves. But Rebecca can back it up, she's hardworking, determined, and kind hearted. The kind of person that can easily be taken advantage of, but is willing to help out anyway.
3. Jill- Jill, there are so many things that I can say about Jill from the poor dialog in the first game. Like Jill sandwich, and the master of unlocking. But we've all been beating that dead horse since the 90's. Jill seems like the kind of person you would want on your side, she's knowledgeable, and skilled with firearms. Defiantly a survivor, how many people could keep their cool while having Nemesis chase after them? I know I probably couldn't.
4. Albert- Now that the coolest villain from the R.E. series is dead, for good this time. I would like to take a moment of silence... Okay moment over. But seriously your going to sit their with a straight face, and tell me that Albert Wesker. Albert freaking Wesker was killed, not in a dramatic and epic boss battle, but in a cop out of a boss battle. It just irritates me to no end to see Wesker get stabbed with a survival knife, fall into lava, and then have two RPG 7's pass through his head and explode in the lava behind him. Bull
5. Jack- Hell even Jack had a more dignified death than Albert, and Jack was basically a throw away character. I love playing as Jack in The Mercenaries, Killing stage bosses in one hit with his mutated arm so satisfying.
6. H.U.N.K.- Neckbreaker, that's all I have to say.
7.Leon- Leon has defiantly come a long way since his journey through the infected streets of Raccoon. Leon is defiantly someone who can hold his own against the hoards of undead, and Las Plagas infected. Smart, Loyal, and sometimes just plain lucky Leon is defiantly someone you want on your side.
8. Claire- Originally meant to be Elza, Claire Is a fighter just like her big brother. She won't let the Undead, or some unlucky Umbrella security guards stand between her and her goals.
9. Barry- Barry is one of my favorites because he is torn between helping his team, and saving his family from Umbrella. He ultimately makes the right decision and helps foil Wesker's plans, plus he has a large knowledge of firearms.
10. Chris- Chris might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knows what is right and what is wrong. He's willing to fight for what he believes in, and if that doesn't say hero I don't know what does.
The River Styx (Coming Attractions):
Enclave Now, Pittsburgh Forever:Follows the events of John Henry Eden's efforts, to kill the Brotherhood Of Steel, and ally himself with Ishmael Ashur. (Fallout 3 fan fic.)
The Enemy of My Enemy:My retelling of Code Veronica, and the sequel to The Quick, The Dead, and My First Day on the Job. Basically picks up, where the last one left off.
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal,put this in your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end,reading numerous fanfictions,copy and paste this onto your profile,and add your name to this list: danyan, StarDragon411, Mystic Katt, TrueThinker, Softballgirl9411, Witchdoctor42, crocgirl2815, mewmewice, Twilightpaw, Shadow Dancer Girl,Cryptic Rain, Grusnoid
If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it longer!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you support the Enclave, and think they will bring balance to the wasteland. Copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to this list: Grusnoid
If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
Copy and paste this into your profile if you hate homophobes
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Kathleen-chan, Life is a Highway66, moviemanic122893, Nikchik11, Sgt Andy McNab, Tiger Snaps, Grusnoid
Random Words of Inspiration-Hall of Fame:
One day I will rule Fanfiction.net, like I rule Candy Land. With an Iron Fist! -Me
You can crush me, but you can't crush my spirit! (Crushing Noise) Auugh My Spirit! -Old Man Waterfall, Futurama
I request a Satanic funeral. -Old Man Waterfall, Futurama
It's Anchorman! Not Anchorlady! And that is a scientific fact! -Champ Kind, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
You and me both buddy. This things lucky I'm not armed. -Michael Bolton, Office Space
As far back as I can remember. I always wanted to be a gangster.-Henry Hill, Goodfellas
If you aint first. Your last. -Reese/Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
The world's smartest man. Poses no more of a threat to me, then does it's smartest termite. -Dr. Manhattan, Watchmen
The next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fin' Mark Twain sht. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.-Otis, The Devil's Rejects
I'm not even supposed to be here today! -Dante Hicks, Clerks
Pretty please with sugar on top. Clean the fin' car. -Winston 'The Wolf' Wolfe, Pulp Fiction
Be considerate to others, or I will bite your torso and give you a disease. -Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife, Mastodon
Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them. I don't care how fin' crazy they are! -Seth Gecko, From Dusk Till Dawn
There is nothing you can posses, that I cannot take away! -Belloq, Raiders of the Lost Ark
Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead. -Dug, Up
You should have never trusted Hollywood. -Lost In Hollywood, System of a Down
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. -Ogden Nash
I'm Batman -Batman, Batman
I'm gonna go get the papers. Get the papers. -Jimmy Two Times, Goodfellas
That rug really tied the room together, did it not. -Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski
You and me, we'll all go down in history. With a sad Statue of Liberty. And a generation that didn't agree. -Sad Statue, System of a Down
I have a message from Colonel Mutumbay. He says this, is from Congo Jack. -Phillip J. Fry, Futurama
May I take your bird back to camp. As my prisoner? -Dug, Up
You want a prediction about the weather, your asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life. Phill, Groundhog Day
Save me Jebus! -Hommer Simpson, The Simpsons
The instruction manual for my snow blower, is gripping compared to this clown. -Kevin Murphy, Rifftrax Riff for The Matrix Reloaded
Son be a dentist. People will pay you to be inhumane. -Orin Scrivello, Little Shop of Horrors
When I grow up, I want to be a steam shovel. -Bender Bending Rodriguez, Futurama
In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'. -Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
All we want to do is eat your brains. Were not unreasonable. I mean no ones gonna eat your eyes. -RE: Your Brains, Jonathan Coulton
Crow: Not Bob Vila. No. Tom: Now what were doing here Bob, is getting killed by a werewolf. -Crow T. Robot, and Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000 Riff for Werewolf
A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. -Sam 'Ace' Rothstein, Casino
In the land of the dead, heck boy ain't it grand? I'm the overlord, of the underworld. Cause I hold horror's hand. -Land of The Dead, Voltaire
I come from the darkness, your blasphemous side. Created by hatred, and eyes in the sky. -Zelda 2, Duane, and BrandO
BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie, I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified. Sure they might think it's deranged
I am Catman. I'm gonna cut you. Hey where you going! That's it? Come back here. I'll lick a hole in you, with my sharp tongue. -Catman, Perfect Hair Forever
I'm staying in my parents basement, til I find a job! -Crow T. Robot, MST3K riff for the end credits of Space Mutiny
Metal conducts heat very well, and Satan knows this.-Tom Servo, Mst3k riff for Santa Claus
Guess what!I got a fever, and the only prescription, is more cowbell.-Christopher Walken, Saturday Night Live skit
The Mamushka. Taught to us by our Cossack cousins, the Mamushka has been an Addams family tradition, since god knows when. We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you. -Gomez Addams, The Addams Family
Just to become more powerful, in the service of the master. So that I may deliver more souls, unto his dark realm.-Crow T. Robot, MST3K skit for Devil Doll.
And the rain will kill us all. We throw ourselves against the wall. But no one else can see. The preservation of the Martyr in me.-Psychosocial, Slipknot.
Tonight, a comedian died in New York.-Rorschach's Jornal/Rorschach, Watchmen.
Give me back my face!-Rorschach, Watchmen.
Crow: Yeah. Were kind of a muffany, Calista Flockhart, Swoozy Kurtz, kind of cult. Tom: Oh boy, I think we freaked him out. Crow: Okay Mike. We strip to the waist, worship an evil emanation, and lop peoples heads off for fun. That better? Mike: Yeah that's a little easier to take.- Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, and Mike Nelson, Mst3k Skit for The Final Sacrifice.
It's gonna be the future soon! I won't always be this way. When the things that made me weak, and strange get engineered away. It's gonna be the future soon. Never seen it quite so clear. When my heart is breaking, I just close my eyes, it's already here.-The Future Soon, Jonathan Coulton
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!-Spanish Inquisition skit for Monty Python's Flying Circus
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?-Loser, Beck
This gun's for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark.-Dancing In The Dark, Bruce Springsteen
You can stand me up at the Gates of Hell, but I won't back down.-Wont Back Down, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
Screw you guys, I'm going home. -Eric Theodore Cartman, South Park
I have seen the collapse of Western Civilization, and it's name is Stephenie Meyer. -Me
In the afterlife. You could be headed for a serious strife. Now you make the scene all day, but tomorrow there'll be hell to pay.-Hell, Squirrel Nut Zippers
So lets get to the point. Lets roll another joint. And head on down the road. There's somewhere I gotta go. You don't know how it fells, you don't know how it feels, no you don't know how it feels...to be me. -You Don't Know How It Feels, Tom Petty
Open wide kids! Cause I'm gonna grape ya in the mouth! -Grapist sketch from The Whitest Kids U Know
A garage band from Seattle. Well it Sure beats rasin' cattle. -Smells Like Nirvana, Weird Al Yankovic
The Inquisition. Lets begin. The Inquisition. Look out sin. We have a mission, to convert the Jews! -History of The World Part 1
Unsafe External Link