Poll: Should I, or should I /not/, put the smut scenes I've attempted into my stories, 'Vacation' and 'Sight? Vote Now!
Author has written 7 stories for Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy VII, and Avengers.
Hey guys! Just a quick update about my stuff going on. I don't know if any of you noticed, but I've deleted two of my stories 'Recruited' and 'Invasion: Worlds Collide' because frankly, they were getting no where and I've lost basically all interest in writing those two particular story lines. Not to say I won't replace them with something else, which I will, but I won't be doing it any time soon.
For those of you who are watching my story 'Sight', I'm working on it as fast as I can. I've had several long-lasting issues with my computers recently and at one point, all of my work for it was deleted, so I'm having to start over again. I'm going to update as soon as possible, definitely before the end of summer! So keep a look out for it!
Characters I hate: Kairi, Rinoa, and the whores from South Park!
AGE: I'm 16!!!
My fav. pairings for Kingdom Hearts are: AkuRoku, AkuZeku, AkuDem, Zemyx, ZekuRoku, DemRoku, RokuSor, SoRi, XemSai, MarVex, XigXal, LuxLar, CLeon, NamKai, and others that i can't think of.
WARNING!!! Looooooong Profile Ahead!!! Read at your own risk! (It's supposedly really funny though, so I'd read it anyway!)
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl around the age of seventeen named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening, and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.
Ten Commandments of a Teenager:
I'm very proud of myself! I just recently found that I'm a Chibi Seme (and if you don't know what that means, either stop reading this or go to the website below) so now I need to find myself either a Flaming Uke or a Badass Uke! (again go to the website and look for Personalities at the top and then click the perfered uke in the listings)
I just retested on semeuke.com and I got a different result:. I still think I'm more suited as a Chibi Seme, but apparently they think I'm an Opportunistic Seme instead.
If you have ever tried alchemy by clapping your hands and hitting the ground, copy this and paste it on you're profile.
If you have ever slipped while getting out of the shower and fallen right into your cat's litter box, you have my pity.
If you think homophobia is a mental illness that should result in sufferers being strung up by their toes, stripped naked, feathered and tarred, then sold as cheap, Mexican pinata knock-offs, copy and paste this into your profile
If, whenever someone says 'orgy' you think of Organization XIII, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have every experienced a random fangasm while playing KH, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you cried when any of the Orgy XIII died, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you laughed for over an hour when Reno said, "I'm still out here!" in Advent Children, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Roxas bashers should get a life and believe that it's not his fault that he's an underdeveloped character, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you were ever sitting in a restaraunt and started dancing to music in your head regardless of who was watching, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever maniacally laughed for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever mashed your plushies together and made kissy noises, copy and paste this into your profile (don't be ashamed).
If you dance to elevator music, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever been accused of shaving someone bald and stealing their underwear, gtfa from me o.O
If you watch movies and think 'now how can I turn this into a fic?', copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever had canon characters breed other canon characters, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're eagerly awaiting a CG KH movie, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Number XVI,
If you walk into walls because you have your nose in a book, copy this to your profile.
If you are a pyromaniac and also love Kingdom Hearts 2, and as such think Axel rules, copy this into your profile.
If you got depressed beating KH II then started a new game, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you believe Axel has a heart, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.
If you've ever busted a move/burst into song copy and paste this into your profile.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. If you agree copy and paste this to your profile.
If You like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are a slight and/or complete Death Note junkie, paste this in your profile.
If you cried when Axel faded, post this on your profile.
If you think that Axel LOVES saying 'Got it memorized' just cuz he can, copy and paste this onto your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie, TV show, etc. so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you have ever stayed up past 5:00 in the morning just because you friggin' could, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you’re on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off.
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever wondered why Bush and Obama won't leave the friggin' war and let the remaining soldiers live, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you cried when Demyx faded, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Demyx is adorable (not hot) copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
92% of people were shocked when Orihime slapped Ulquiorra if you were part of the 8% that laughed, copy this.
If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( i fall up the steps to school every time i go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, xStillxInxLovex (i do this every day), Tekalali (all of the time -_-), Number XVI (I’ve tripped over a cordless mobile phone, do u really think stairs will stop me?)
this is a shroom! if you think Super Mario Brothers was the best game since Pacman or Space Invaders copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list! NumberXVI,
13. The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
19. "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
20. Just Nod Your Head And Smile
21. Aerith's Corollary
32. You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
36. Clockwork Universe Rule
43. Midgar Principle
47. We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest
70. Sixth Law of Travel
79. Xenobiology Rule
95. Selective Invulnerability Principle
97. Three Females Rule
102. Perversity Principle
104. Wutai Rule
112. They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (Cid Rule)
113. Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
136. Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
149. Gender Equality, Part 2 (Tifa Rule)
153. "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
154. Gold Saucer Rule
156. Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
186. Apocalypse Any Time Now
188. In Your Face, Jesus!
Waves of Pain and Anguish,
Washing across the sand.
Love traded for compassion,
Until there is realization,
As the shards cut more and more.
-"Sight Left Unseen" by Gina Wooten
"For every man
there is a cause
Defend the right
And every man
And shed his blood
to barricade invasion."
Silence is the voice of time, it speaks to you in a language without words. You must listen in order to hear it. You must watch in order to see it. You must be still in order to feel it. And then you must understand it if you wish to embrace it.
LOL Funny Quotes from Fanfic Stories and other things XD
"It'd serve you right if you'd lost it, stupid son of a bitch!" Cid said even as he pointed at where Hyperion was laying a little ways away from me. "Fucking jumping the damn thing! Stupidest shit I've ever seen, and I've seen some really stupid shit. You give Reno a run for his money, and that little motherfucker was batshit insane!"
-Cid to Seifer/'Remembering the Forgotten'-Ellipsis the Great
Marluxia paused, face pensive. Then he pocketed the condom.
I know that you know that I know that you took Tseng. In retaliation, I have taken that which you hold most dear. If you ever again wish to stare into the eyes of your beloved, you will rendezvous at the western corner of Building 12.
Zack continued to stare blankly at the note, his panic-stricken mind being able to make no sense of it. Flipping it over, he saw something else.
(I have Seph. You have Tseng. Meet me by the office with the good snack machine.)
-Zack reading a note from Reno/'Friend, Foe, or Fatuous'-Corncob
"Uh, sounds like Tifa came back fast and she's got a guy friend with her," Zack murmured, cocking his head wolfishly as he listened.
-Zack & Cloud conversation/'Alliance'-Xenobia
Cloud looked up and blinked. He'd never seen the gunman in anything except his body armor and cape before. Now Vincent stood before the rescue team in an expensive black chauffeur uniform, complete with a black hat. The outfit molded to his frame, unlike the standard loose fitting style more commonly seen. His hair looked like it had been brushed thoroughly and it spilled out from under the hat, flowing over his shoulders and down his back. It shone in the light with raven highlights, looking sleek and soft.
"I thought the black uniform suited him best," Elena said proudly, gesturing to the gunman as if showing off a work of art she'd made. "Doesn't he look great? I was going to have him tie his hair back but I think leaving it loose gives him some flare."
Cloud heard a soft gurgling sound to his left and he shot a look at Reeve, guessing the noise had come from him.
Oh, you poor bastard.
He thought about the way Reno compared him to a wolf all the time and he suddenly pictured a snarling, blue-eyed, golden-furred animal standing guard at the feet of Rufus and the Turks. That in itself wasn't upsetting, but the wolf in the mental picture had a spiked collar around his neck and Rufus Shinra held the leash.
Cloud abruptly sat upright in the futon and his eyes went round. "Holy shit…they've domesticated me!"
"If you ever want to see Strife pissed off, I'm you're man," Rufus interrupted. He rarely ever interrupted people, considering it to be the height of bad manners regardless of whether he was speaking to a subordinate or not. His sarcasm grew with his frustration. "All I need to do is look at the man to raise his hackles…hell, I don't even have to do that! If you want to see Cloud Strife bare his teeth, just toss me in the same building with him!"
Tseng listened to the tirade and he sipped his wine to hide a smile that was trying to surface. When Rufus settled down, he looked up at him again and decided to try once more to offer his opinion. "Koibito, may I tell you what I think?"
The soft endearment cooled the president's rising temper and he gave Tseng a curt nod. "Fire away."
"Cloud is simple," Tseng said thoughtfully. "Ironically, it's his very simplicity that makes him so complex."
Rufus stared at him, his handsome features growing more exasperated. "Your effusive ambiguity really doesn't help right now, Tseng."
Rufus tirading to Tseng/'Guardian'-Xenobia
"Weiss isn't to be killed."
"Weiss?" Repeated Reeve. He looked more exasperated than anything else. "Doesn't anyone ever just die anymore?"
-snippet of a Genesis and Reeve conversation/'Alliance'-Xenobia
He now had space to launch an offensive. Angered by the damage to the only clothing he currently owned, Genesis demonstrated that no matter how refined and elegant he strove to be since discovering his love for literature, he could still be crass when angered.
Eat your heart out, world. Envy my harem of sexy hunks.
Reno took a few deep breaths and paced, trying to calm his racing heart and get his thoughts straightened out. After a moment he paused and cocked his head to one side. "Yo, does anyone hear something beeping? Is that someone's phone or something?"
Everyone went silent and listened.
"I hear it too," Elena said with puzzlement. "It sounds like it's coming from that little door over there. What is that, a supply closet?"
Reno walked over to the door, trying to keep his eyes away from the spectacle of Zack floating in a tube of liquid. "Ya know," he said aloud, "it's kind of funny that they'd take off and leave this stuff for us to find. Maybe they didn't have the equipment to move the tubes but wouldn't they have taken the files with 'em, at least?" He pulled open the door and his eyes widened as he saw the answer to his own question.
"Ooohhhh, fuuuuck," the redhead groaned long and loud. The digital red numbers on the bomb he discovered were steadily counting down, with less than four minutes to go until detonation. "We're boned, people."
"What do you mean, 'we're boned'?" Rude asked when he heard his partner's tense announcement. He came up behind Reno and tugged his shades down to look. When he saw the object that Reno was hunkered over, his jaw dropped. "Oh, hell no."
"Anyone in here know how to diffuse a bomb?" Reno hollered.
"Don't you?" Elena asked in a fearful voice.
"No, I just set 'em off!"
Continuation of the quote above/'Alliance'-Xenobia
A little voice in Cloud's head asked him why the hell he was letting this happen and he told it to shut the fuck up and mind its own business.
-Cloud's thought/'Reno learns the Hard Way'-Xenobia
Riku and I walk up the front steps, holding hands and giggling with after-date cheer. I place my hand on the knob and shove, my head dancing with images of me and Riku fooling around in my room, because really, is there a better way to end a date?
"Open Sesame, you stupid bitch!" a voice yells.
"Ha! You thought you were so smart, didn't you? Heh, now who's the dumb one, eh? NOT SO FUNNY MEOW, IS IT, BOY?" Either I'm on crack, or that was totally Leon, it sounded like Leon.
"Oh! Come on, you little whore, I know you can hear me!"
I glance uncertainly back at Riku and head into the house, not without a massive amount of terror and apprehension. Riku, ever polite, takes off his shoes at the door. His sneakers fall to the floor with a clunk.
"You laughed at me when I was looking for the keyhole, but you're no better, you little bas-did you hear that?"
That's definitely Leon. What the hell is going on here?
"Oooh! Spot check! Roll the d20 and add your modifier to see if you notice the killer!"
"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're not supposed to tell me what I'm looking for! And anyway, that'd be a listen check!"
There are some things I really never needed to know about my brother. The fact that evidently he used to play D&D was one of them.
"Shut your fucking face, nancy boy! Least I don't think walls have keyholes!"
"At least I'm not a bad DM! HAH! Mr. "Open Sesame"! How lame is that?"
"Y-w-I-… Your mother!"
"… Dude, my mom's dead."
"Yeah, well, I guess that makes you a necrophiliac then, doesn't it
"Yeah, I guess it- Wait a minute! That's gross you pervert!"
Riku's going on ahead. There's no way I can let him die alone. We find Leon and Cloud yelling at each other red-faced in the living room; the TV blaring an infomercial for some kind of super-mattress, whatever the fuck that is.
"Guys, what the hell?" I say, it seemed the only thing to say.
Leon turns to stare at me, "We're trying to get to the buried treasure. I should think that would be obvious!"
Cloud jumps around as well, "Oh, Sora, perfect timing. You come over here, and transform into the main character from that stupid game you play; the one with the complete moron for a main character who fights with a giant lock pick to save the worlds from the Slightly Organized, But Not Really Committee Triple-X. You know the one with those cute little brainless guys that look kind of like beetles."
Other than the fact that that game is not stupid, I was struck speechless.
"Cloud, are you high? That makes no sense."
The voice of reason was Leon, oddly enough.
"Listen, Squall, if anyone can open this door, it's that guy."
"Yeah, sure, or we could just use alchemy."
So much for the voice of reason.
"Damn it, Leon! Now is not the time to balance chemical equations!"
Is there a time to balance chemical equations?
"That's Calculus, stupid. I'm talking about transmutation!"
"Oh… go get your Horadric Cube!"
"I-I don't have one!"
"Shit! What are we gonna do?"
"The same thing we do everyday, Pinky! TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
I think… I think… I think I might cry.
"I think we need a laser…"
I can't help but whistle. I haven't seen this much stupid in one place since I looked in the mirror… wait…
"What was that?"
"BOMB! GET DOWN!" Cloud tackles Leon to the ground.
After a few explosion-less minutes they get up again.
Riku and I stand transfixed to the spot.
"I think we should go," I choke out finally.
Leon looks at me and snorts, "Yeah, whatever man, that's your prerog-preg-preger-"
"You'repregnant?" Cloud yells.
Leon looks around confused, as if Cloud was talking to someone else, but the blond's eyes are fixed on him, "I'm pregnant?"
"Oh my god! Who's the father?"
I glance at Riku; he seems as confused as me. I switch back to the pair on the floor.
"-the only one here, so… unless it was Sora. But if it was Sora, it would have two heads, I don't think my baby has two heads," Leon reasons, his hand protectively over his flat and child-free abdomen.
"We're having a baby?"
"We're having a baby!"
"Oh my god!"
What the fuck?
Cloud dives at Leon and they hug happily, united by their supposed child.
"… I think I'm missing something," Riku says carefully, looking as if he'd stepped into the Twilight Zone.
"So, Bunny, what do you want to name it?"
Bunny? Since when does Leon call Cloud Bunny? Well, I suppose if you look at his hair right, it does sort of look like bunny ears… or something.
"How about Cait Sith?"
"Yeah, I used to have a cat named that… "
"You can't name our baby after a cat!"
"Sorry, honey, you're right. What do you want to name it m'dear?"
"It's a bit like a train wreck when you think about it, I just can't look away," Riku continues.
"I-I… I think we should go now."
"Y-yeah… but on the other hand it's free entertainment and they might end up killing themselves by accident if we weren't here."
I can see the headlines now, "Teen Male Attempts Birth, Doctors Report Worst Cesarean Ever" or "Flapping Like Bird Still Doesn't Make You Fly, Evolution Blamed In Double-Accidental-Suicide" or maybe, ""The Couch Told Me He Was The Spawn of Satan" Claims Local Teen Murderer".
"True. Very, very true."
"You know," Cloud was saying, "You look pretty damned good for a pregnant chick."
Leon checks himself over, "Wow, huh. You're so right, Bun. I'm kind of flat though…"
Cloud hmm-ed thoughtfully, "Yeah, you're right. That's okay, Leon-baby, I love you anyway."
"Really?" Leon's smile could give you cavities, I'm sure.
Cloud nodded, with a sickly smile of his own, "Uh-huh."
They hug again.
I think I'm developing a facial tick from all this sap, "Ri, are you sure we can't go? This is really, really scary."
He nods, biting his lip; in fear or indecision, I'll never know, "I know, So, but if we go… think what could happen…"
"I know but-"
"Oh my god! I have a penis!"
We turn to stare at Leon,
-Cloud and Leon 'on-crack-conversation'/ 'What Should Never Hurt You'-Vermillion Lies
Cloud huffed, put off by the way that everyone was ganging up on him. "Yeah, but if there's an easier way to find them, then I want to find it."
"Don't try and take the path of least resistance, Cloud," Tifa teased. "It doesn't build character."
Leon smiled. "He's got character. Emo and moody."
-Tifa and Leon ganging up on Cloud/'Pure of Mind and Blood'-BlackFalcon002
"Shh, Mar. Someone will hear us."
"Let them be jealous of our passionate and wonderful love."
-Marluxia and Vexen/'Infinite Darkness'-LonelyUeki
"Chickenwuss, sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and get the fuck over it before I shove this griddle up your ass and burn the lame out of you." I said. "If I didn't want to make the goddamn pancakes, I sure as hell wouldn't have volunteered."
That was apparently the right thing to say, because Hayner puffed up into his 'pissed off mode,' which looked something like an angry kitten (in other words: he looked cuter than he did threatening). "Yeah? Well who said I even wanted your lousy pancakes anyhow, dick face?"
"I did, and you'll eat 'em and like 'em." I snapped, simultaneously waving a spatula at him and mixing all of the ingredients together (because, yeah, I'm that damn good).
-Hayner and Seifer argument/'Remembering the Forgotten'-Ellipsis the Great
Out tumbled a disheveled but unabashed Cid, shirtless but with hastily pulled on pants. Behind him was an exceedingly pale (and by exceedingly pale, I mean this guy made Riku look black) guy who apparently dressed faster than anyone I'd ever met before, since he had been naked a few short seconds before but was now wearing a multi-belted black outfit covered by a long, slightly ragged red cloak. Though the cloak had a high collar, I could still see the light blush on the man's otherwise colorless cheeks.
"Boys, this is Vincent Valentine, an old…friend." Cid said.
-Seifer stumbling upon Cid and Vin boning each other/'Remembering the forgotten'-Ellipsis the Great
Is this what they call… enlightenment? Or maybe a more secular term would be liberation. Whatever I'm feeling, it's… it's great. I don't want this relaxing feeling to sto-
"So the rumors are true."
"Happy feeling's gone…"
Sephiroth barging in on Genesis' epiphany/'Anonymous'-Dragonite Himura no Tenshi Ryu
The Universe is ruled by natural forces and laws, which in turn are unchangeable, unbreakable and (in most cases) absolute.
The most important, unchangeable and unbreakable of these rules is the following:
'Kanda Yuu does not sulk.'
'Kanda Yuu does not stare with his mouth wide open.'
'Kanda Yuu will always (regardless of the circumstances) be Kanda Yuu.'
/"Ouch. That must have hurt." A playful and not sympathetic at all voice chirped from somewhere in the bathroom, making Kanda and Lavi look up so quickly they almost got whiplash.
There, leaning on the closed bathroom door and smiling like a murderer, stood Allen Walker, raising an amused dark grey eyebrow at the image the both of them presented.
Lavi, naked except for his shoes and socks and the pants tangled around his ankles, on top of a very naked Kanda, except for his own socks and shoes, long inky black hair strewn everywhere, lying on the floor, on top of a bathroom stall's door. The abandoned articles of clothing were scattered around the stall's floor and even on top of the toilet, providing the image with a fitting background. Furthermore, both the redhead and the long-haired male were flushed all over, sweat dripping down their bodies, hickeys flourishing on the patches of skin that were most visible to the white-haired male by the door.
What a very interesting image indeed. It beat Komui with make-up on by MILES. 'Hell, it's on a completely different league', Allen thought excitedly.
The stripper just stared in shock at his cute little white-haired friend who had the sweetest smile on his face as he looked at the both of them in that… situation.
He looked calm and sweet and slightly amused as always, so Kanda, for a brief moment, thought that maybe he could somehow find a way to make this work, make Walker-
The smile spread across the fair male's features, widened-
-widened till it showed teeth, and so Lavi's courage picked up his balls and they all ran for the hills screaming bloody murder.
The redhead tried to make himself small and pressed himself down against Kanda, who, hot and pretty as he was, seemed like someone who could be pretty terrifying too and therefore should be able to hold his own against the nightmarish person grinning at them from across the bathroom.
"Why, hello there, Kannnda." Walker smiled creepily, and Kanda knew he was fucked./
The Absolute First Law of the Universe:
In the end, no matter the game, gamble or situation, Allen Walker always wins, wins again, and keeps winning and fucking you over until you, your courage and what's left of your pride kneel down and beg for mercy like the bitches you are.
Allen catching Kanda and Lavi doin' the 'Nasty'/'Laws of the Universe'-Evanescent Silence
"Grrr, I hate it when you abuse me."
"No you don't," Ichigo said throwing his bag to the side. "You're a twisted little masochist."
Kon's plush blushed. "Eh, am not."
"That sounded weak,"
Ichigo and Kon/'A Passion of Controversy'-Tranquilized-Night
"Uh-huh, and how did Sesshoumaru take that?"
Windsor blinked. "I have not worked with Sesshoumaru for nearly five hundred years."
Kagome froze. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" she asked, deciding she had a hearing problem. Windsor was Sesshoumaru's commander. His top general. Windsor's loyalty to Sesshoumaru was undying.
He made the twins look like mere Sesshoumaru-enthusiasts, not die-hards.
Kagome and Windsor/'My Pet'-PegasusRider
The second stage, being anger, hit him when he was drifting around the mansion. But, being the most pure hearted person in this world, and in the human one, Hanatarou's "fit of rage" consisted of him gently hitting the side of a table with his fist, and then feeling horrible that he let himself get so angry.
Hanatarou's 'Second Stage of Grief'/'Unlocking Your Heart'-izumey
'Cloud Strife, hero of the world, supreme leader of AVALANCHE, and resident spiky haired angst muffin'
A sentence from Cid's thoughts/(from something on deviantart)
He takes a gulp of milk and almost spits it out when the closet door swings open.
"I am trying to sleep damn it!" The thunderous voice calls out.
Grimmjow drops the book and prepares for a fight.
Kon jumps out form the closet diving onto Grimmjow's face with a battle-cry. "I live here too!"
"What the fuck are you?" Grimmjow rips Kon off his face dangling him in the air by his tail.
"I am the king of this house!" Kon points a claw at Grimmjow. "Inferior cats like you must learn your place."
Grimmjow blinks at the yellow stuffed animal in shock. "King eh?" Grimmjow swings Kon around by his tail listening to him scream with a wide grin on his face. "What if I wanna be King here?"
"Impossible! I am the King lion!" Kon replies swiping his claws at Grimmjow.
"King of the pigmy lions from hell." He tosses Kon into the closet and shuts the door. "Tch, I'm too tired to deal with you."
"Oi! I have not recognized you as the dominate cat yet!"
"Shut up! Before I rip off your arms and beat you with them."
"Ok." Kon replies hiding under Rukia's old chappy blanket.
Grimmjow and Kon/'Grimmjow is Seventeen Yaoi Edit'-fuzzibunniez
"That is my problem." Ichigo points to Grimmjow still sprawled on his half-destroyed bed.
"That's an espada." Kisuke lifts his hat off taking a closer look at Grimmjow sleeping. "Oh look he has a chubby!"
"That's part of my problem." Ichigo whispers pulling a sheet over Grimmjow's sleeping form. "He seems to have some sort of... allergy."
"Allergy?" Kisuke follows Ichigo into the kitchen noticing the floor littered with boxes.
"Yeah where he like goes nuts and attacks these... orange goldfish boxes." Ichigo lifts up a small box of crackers with a nervous grin. "He like pounces them and rubs his face on them."
"Rubs on them?" Kisuke blinks confused.
"Yeah and he will like say they smell really... good and lick them."
"Unhuh." Kisuke begins to rub his chin in deep thought. "So he has a food allergy to chibi orange goldfishcrackers?"
"Yeah but the worst part." Ichigo looks around darting his eyes left then right. "He wants to eat them."
"He wants to eat the chibi orange goldfish?" Kisuke pauses for a moment nodding.
"Then you know understand what I'm saying?" Ichigo looks hopeful wiping the sweat from his face.
"Not at all... tell me. Ichigo did you want the chibi orange goldfish and he just not share them?"
"Fuck I picked the wrong analogy!"
"Roxas, what do you want most out of your life?" Axel asked suddenly.
"Success," the blonde said without hesitation.
"What if I told you that you'll never have it with the way your life is now?"
"I would call you an asshole and ask you how you're so sure of that. So, asshole, how are you so sure of that?"
"Because I read your profile."
"Okay, I haven't updated my MySpace since I was fifteen," the blonde said. Axel took a moment to let that sink in before bursting into laughter. Riku had a smile as well and Roxas was quickly losing patience. "Fine, I'll play your game 'what profile?'"
"Hold on… hold on…" Axel gasped between his laughs. "That was amazing. Do that again."
"Do what again?" the blonde asked in annoyance.
"Make a joke like that again. That was priceless."
Axel and Roxas/'Save the Kittens!'-Kareen2006
Demyx tip toed quickly out in front of them and took a peek into one of the small windows of the lab doors before ducking below it and waved an arm to usher the other two over. Axel grabbed Roxas' hand and pulled him along in a half-crouch until they were sitting on the floor with their ears to the doors. Neither of the men inside the lab talked for a while which was almost a relief for Roxas until he could hear low chuckling and a loud snap as Cloud pulled on a rubber glove.
"Is it entirely necessary to look like a homicidal maniac?" Leon asked in an annoyed tone.
"Homicidal? Me?" the Charge responded innocently.
"Don't get cute with me."
"The only homicides I have ever committed pertain to you and your flesh children. The best parts about those kinds of homicides is that they aid in research and tickle me when they land on my stomach."
"…I can't believe you just said that to me."
"Get over it. Drop trou and bend over, lovey."
"I should punch you."
"But then I wouldn't be able to stick my finger in your ass and check your old man bits."
"I should really punch you."
"You're so violent."
"Only when it comes to you."
"Is that because you're a sadist or you genuinely hate me, I wonder?" Cloud asked curiously and there were a series of angry mutters and the sound of a zipper being pulled. Axel and Demyx had their hands over the mouths trying to keep the laughs inside. Roxas, on the other hand, was horrified. The dialogue was entertaining enough but he was apprehensive when it came to the idea that he would have to give Axel prostate exams eventually. The Carriers probably thought the entire ordeal was funny because they weren't on the giving end of the process, but the blonde was fully aware of the duty and he wasn't thrilled. "Where'd you hide the gel?" Cloud continued as there were the sounds of several drawers being opened and closed.
"You're the one that hides shit everywhere. Wherever you put it last is where it is."
"That was months ago why do you expect me to remember these things?"
"If you weren't so dense you could probably remember fairly easily. Don't blame me because you were dropped on your head."
"And you wonder why I deliberately make you angry every day."
"You do that on purpose? I thought you were just an enormous asshat."
"Did you just call me an asshat?" Cloud asked and all the noise ceased as he started to laugh. "How…juvenile. I could just to this thing dry, is that what you want?"
"I would really rather you don't do it at all. You know it works properly."
"But I have a report to fill out. The Committee is making an entire documentary on the integrity of your ass and how well you can squirt semen; didn't you get the memo? Don't you want to be a celebrity?"
"Oh my god Cloud," Leon trailed and there was a soft 'thunk' as the Carrier let his forehead fall to the exam table and he started to laugh.
"See? That's why you keep me around. Now if I can find the—never mind, found it," the Charge said and a drawer closed again. There was a soft click as he pulled the cap off the gel.
"Do me a favor?" Leon asked.
"No, I have to do something rather unpleasant and I don't want anymore distractions."
"Well I was going to ask if you coul—" Leon tried to blurt out quickly before he was silenced into a grunt.
"Would this be a bad time to tell you your butt reminds me of marshmallows?"
"Sh-shut up, bastard…"
"God damn! Relax! You're going to break my finger off," Cloud exclaimed and there was a loud slap. Leon let out a breathy laugh in response. Roxas couldn't understand why, but he had the sudden urge to curl up into a little ball and cover his eyes in embarrassment. Axel and Demyx however, were trying their hardest to not make their boisterous laugher obvious. The pair were making small quiet squeaks under their breaths in an effort to hold it all in. "Seriously Squall, I feel like I should get a damn crowbar. You're being unreasonable," the Charge grumbled.
"And this is exactly why you're the bottom. Because if you weren't, your job would be so much easier and I can't have that," Leon said. Cloud muttered something under his breath before Leon grunted again and there was a loud screech as the exam table's legs scraped across the floor. "Don't hurt me now. I'm old, remember?"
"At least you admit it. It only took you what? Forty thousand years? I forget how old you are."
"Older than dirt, I'll tell you what."
"And yet your prostate is still so firm and supple. You must tell me your secrets."
"Why? Is your sagging and wearing out? Do you need to retire?"
"Maybe later, for now though I'm content making fuzzy little hybrid children with you."
"Oh well good, because so long as mine is working you still have work to do."
"Yes yes," Cloud sighed before there was rubbery squeaking and snapping as he pulled his glove off. "You're finished," he said and there was a light patting of skin on skin.
"But you didn—"
"I'm not wiping your ass for you."
"See that's what I wanted to ask before you even started. I was going to make sure you didn't get it all over me and yet you did. Prick," Leon grumbled. "I could just change and force you to clean it up anyway after my skin falls to the ground."
"Why are you so abusive?" Cloud sighed again and there was the sound of a metal cabinet being opened. It closed again and there was a bit of silence before Leon started to laugh a little and Cloud grumbled a bit. "Happy?"
"I could just tackle you and smack you in the face with this, you know."
"You could, but you're not going to. I have enough samples stored to hold you to three weeks of celibacy."
"Only when you make me be awful."
"I don't make you do anything."
"You make me do a lot of things."
"Oh yeah? Do tell, I'm quite curious."
"Well if you must know, I can show you."
"I'm waiting," Cloud said. There was a light jingle as Leon pulled his shorts up and fastened his belt before the trio at the door could hear footsteps headed in their direction. Axel and Demyx quickly ushered Roxas away and around the corner before there was the distinct sound of shades being pulled down over the windows in the lab doors.
"That's our cue to leave," Demyx whispered and they all stood and headed back to Axel's room. The redhead immediately let himself fall face first into his mattress and he started to laugh. Demyx snorted a little before he joined his friend and took a seat on the bed next to him.
"Oh my god I love those guys so damn much…" the redhead trailed.
Roxas, Demyx, and Axel listening in on Cloud giving Leon and prostrate exam/'Save the Kittens!'-Kareen2006
"Leon!" Cloud called up the staircase. Roxas went and took the available seat next to Axel and Sora helped himself to sitting on Riku.
"What?" Leon called back grumpily. There were heavy footsteps from overhead and suddenly the Carrier's voice was a lot louder as he made his way down the stairs. "What the hell do you want now?'
"Don't get your balls in a knot, people are here," the Charge spat.
"Yeah?" Leon asked and peeked down under the line of the ceiling that concealed part of the staircase.
"No, I'm fucking lying, didn't you hear Demyx?"
"I don't pay attention to your bullshit."
"It's not my bullshit you should've been listening to, it was Demyx's."
"It's true," Demyx said with a smile.
"Well I don't pay attention to his bullshit either,"
Cloud yelling at Leon to get his ass down the stairs and Leon griping as he comes down/'Save the Kittens!'-Kareen2006
"Naughty Axel! Don't make Roxas pass out! Look at his face!"
"I can't tell, are you blushing?"
"You can't tell? My ears are about to explode, damn it," Roxas said grumpily.
"Oh yeah, how's that working out for you?"
"Boring. How's being short working out for you?"
"Awkward. How's having two different sets of balls working out for you?"
"Eh… it's nothing special. They're both covered in hair so at least they stay warm," Axel said casually and Roxas laughed.
Roxas and Axel/'Save the Kittens!'-Kareen2006
René didn't even spare them a nod, instead crossing his arms over his chest. "So who's this 'Riku' guy? Is he, like, a criminal or something?"
"No, he's my best friend." Sora said. "I don't think they meant to treat you like that, it's just that…you do look an awful lot like him. And since you acted so strangely…or would have been if you were actually him…well…" He trailed off with a shrug.
René nodded again, then unfolded his arms and put his hands on his hips. "Right. Well, I've been through enough weird crap so far." He said. He almost sounded borderline hysterical. "I mean, we've got talking animals, intergalactic airships, and people whose hair defies gravity with no sort of product that I can see, so why not? I'm some guy's random twin. I can accept that. Sure."
"Just wait until you see the heartless! Then you'll be really confused!" Sora piped in helpfully. Optimistic little bastard.
René made a funny noise in the back of his throat, somewhere in between a snort and a whimper, and looked like he was about to faint.
"Sora, you aren't helping." I said, rolling my eyes at the boy in question.
Sora, Rene, and Seifer/'Remembering the Forgotten'-Ellipsis the Great
"Seifer!" Sora hollered, jumping up out of his seat before anyone else could react. But instead of tackling me with that big, goofy smile of his like I'd expected, he scowled at me. Fucking scowled, like he was…y'know, angry.
We had obviously spent far too much time together. I was a terrible influence on him, if he could actually scowl.
"Seifer." He said again, more subdued this time. Forcibly subdued, in that creepy way that people do when they're beyond pissed but are desperately trying to stay calm. "Do you see this face?" He pointed at his face.
Slowly, I nodded.
"This is not a face that I make." He said. "Ever. Because I'm Sora, the Keyblade Master. The resident ball of everlasting sunshine who never, ever gets this face and always…always smiles, no matter what." He grabbed my collar, somehow managing to seem almost intimidating despite being several inches shorter than me. "And if you ever make me make this face again, I am going to rip off your balls and feed them to you." He went up on his tiptoes. "And the whole time I do it, I'm gonna smile."
In spite of myself, I gulped and nodded.
Sora threatening Seifer/'Remembering the Forgotten'-Ellipsis the Great
Cid walked around, watching everything with great amusement. When one boy tripped, Cid managed to catch the Soldier before it could pounce onto his back. He waved away the student's thanks and praise and shot Reno, whose back was turned as he chatted with Yuffie, a positively evil look.
He brought his arm back and let the Heartless fly. It cut through the air and hit Reno right in the back. The redhead and the Soldier fell in a mess of flailing limbs, and Cid just about died, he was laughing so hard.
"…FUCK YOU, HIGHWIND!" Reno screamed as soon as the Soldier was hurled back onto the ground by the students.
Reno charged. He hit Cid right in the chest, and they went down in a laughing, snarling flurry of limbs.
Cloud, Vincent and Leon stared at the spectacle for a moment and went back to the students.
Cid and Reno/'The New Professors'-Kareen2006
"Right." He nodded towards Roxas. "You gotta drop off the demon cat anyhow."
I made a face as we started walking. "You been talking to Pops?"
"Riku, actually. He says it's a regular little attack cat." Luxord laughed loudly.
"Sic 'im, Cricket." I drawled, jumping a little when Roxas arched up and hissed.
"What the fuck, man!" Luxord jumped back, eyes wide. "I thought he was joking! Holy Jesus Christ son of the Virgin Mary!"
"Cricket, stop. I was kidding." I said, nearly as surprised as Luxord. Roxas let out a small snort, jumping up onto the top of my head and settling into my hair.
"Dude, your cat is glaring at me." Luxord said, mouth twitching as he stared up at Roxas.
"He does that." I sighed. "Cricket, behave."
Luxord watched, fascinated, as Roxas stood up, turned around, and sat back down again, his tail hanging in my face.
"Dude…that is really creepy."
Luxord, Axel, and Cricket (Roxas)/'If This Cat Could Talk'-Ellipsis the Great
"Moving on." I cleared my throat before Pops could jump in (he tended to overreact…a lot), grabbing the next gift.
"That's from me!" Xigbar said.
"If you gave him another lighter I'll castrate you." Larxene said.
"It's not a lighter." Xigbar said, shifting into a subtly defensive pose. "It's—"
"Fake eyebrows, you ass." I hissed, glaring at him.
Xigbar sneered. "Well, yours keep disappearing."
"Just because I'm well-groomed—"
"Well-groomed does not mean nonexistent eyebrows!" He said.
"They're not nonexistent!"
"Almost nonexistent, then." He retorted.
Axel and Xigbar/'If This Cat Could Talk'-Ellipsis the Great
Roxas sits cross-legged in the chair, holding his arms out eagerly.
"Here you go." Riku says, handing the baby to him carefully. "Mind his head, okay?"
Roxas nods, not looking away from baby Axel's face. An expression of pure happiness is on his face, and for some reason it reminds me of the look on Axel's face when he held Roxas.
"Hey, Axe'." He whispers when Axel opens his eyes—a vivid green that he must have inherited from a distant relative of Kairi or her husband's, since all of their immediate family has blue or brown eyes. "'S 'bout time you get here."
Axel burbles at him, reaching up and grabbing at his face. Roxas smiles and eases one hand out from under the baby, letting him settle in the crook of his crossed legs. He holds his hand up, his smile widening as Axel curls a fist around one of his fingers.
"'M gon' take good care o' you, Axe'." He says, grinning. "You he'p me an' I he'p you, got it mem'rized?"
Riku gasps, grabbing my hand. None of us has ever told Roxas about Axel's 'catchphrase.'
Roxas doesn't seem to notice our shock and discomfort—well, that or he's choosing to ignore it—as he begins rocking back and forth until Axel falls asleep.
"I' wuv you f'reva, Axe'." Roxas whispers, kissing Axel's forehead with a tenderness I've never seen in a child.
As I watch them, I get the feeling that I've been waiting for this to happen for as long as I can remember, and I can finally rest easy.
And if Axel sometimes acts (and looks) a little too much like his namesake…if Roxas is sometimes a little too overprotective of him…if they sometimes seem a little too close for children to possibly be…
Well, that's a different story entirely.
Child Roxas and Baby Axel/'If this Cat Could Talk'-Ellipsis the Great
"Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep!" The counter on the bomb suddenly sped up and the Turks froze, looking at each other with horror. On the other end of the phone, Rufus was beginning to shout demands for someone tell him what was happening.
"You seem to have angered it," Vincent observed.
"All too aware," Reeve answered in a tight voice.
In a situation/'Alliance'-Xenobia
He broke open a ketchup packet and squeezed the sauce out over his fries. "Want some?"
"Not hungry…you eat," Cloud said. He gathered his thoughts to explain everything that had happened with ShinRa and the planet since Zack had been gone, but the black-haired fighter put a fry in his mouth and his eyes widened with amazement, giving Cloud pause.
"Oh my god," Zack said as he chewed and swallowed. "Food is so GOOD! I can't believe I forgot how good it is!"
He started to gobble the fries greedily and Cloud stared open-mouthed, unused to seeing his friend make a pig of himself. Zack had always been a fast eater but now he was stuffing fries into his mouth until his cheeks bulged and he was hardly chewing before he swallowed. He grabbed one of the hamburgers and took a huge bite out of it…then promptly began to choke.
Cloud half-panicked and got up to pat his friend frantically on the back as Zack covered his mouth with a napkin and coughed raggedly. The black-haired Soldier held out one hand with the finger raised, indicating that he just needed a minute. Cloud reluctantly backed off and watched with round, concerned eyes as Zack grabbed his drink and sucked down about half of it. After a moment, the coughing fit eased and Zack wiped his watering eyes.
"You've got to chew," informed Cloud helpfully. Inwardly he thought that if Zack got this excited over average cafeteria food, he'd probably cream himself if he ever tried Rufus's cooking.
"Yeah, I kind of made a glutton of myself there," Zack agreed with a sheepish grin. "The taste just caught me off guard for a minute."
"Just be more careful," Cloud advised seriously, "it would be really boneheaded if you came back to life just to get owned by a hamburger in one day."
Zack and Cloud/'Alliance'-Xenobia
"He told us to get help, so we ran. I feel sick just thinking about it, but there wasn't anything else we could do."
He wrung his paws together, looking nervous. And with good reason. Riku looked like he was about to whip out a semi-automatic and start reaping some serious vengeance.
Chip and Riku/'Remembrance'-Miss Alise
"I saved us the first two rows," Riku nodded towards the bus behind him, frowning at the pout Axel shot him. "Don't give me any of that back of the bus front of the bus bullshit, Axe. Sora and Roxas have to sit in the front. We're lucky Cid's even letting them sit on the same bus."
"The back of the bus says the front of the bus blows the back of the bus," Axel grumbled, grabbing the pile of his and Roxas' stuff off the side of the curb and climbing onto the bus.
"Yeah, well the front of the bus says the back of the bus blows me." Riku shot back, winking at Naminé as her shoulders shook in a silent giggle.
Riku and Axel/'Laws of Motion'-owlpostagain
Riku stood at the front of the conglomerate gathering of people, aquamarine eyes bright in the dark night air as he addressed his band for the final time, his breath visible as he breathed his final words of wisdom onto his friends and peers, the last address of the seniors before their championship performance.
"Here's what I've learned," he told them, pacing casually back and forth in front of the group. "That marching band changes you irrevocably, whether you intended it to or not. It can take a punk and a skater, a closet musician and a band geek, best friends and strangers, and give them something to unite them, something that they will always hold on to as a great equalizer. It taught me that sometimes, your best friend can be your worst enemy, and your worst enemy can be the love of your life. It taught me that going after something you want, whether it's mastering that new cadence, winning someone's heart, or gaining that last tenth of a point you need to beat that other band, is worth fighting tooth and nail over. Most importantly, though, it taught me that going out on a limb, sucking up your pride and trying that new thing that you never thought you could do, never knew you wanted to do, is always worth it. Who knows, you might get lucky and find yourself surrounded by the best friends you've ever met, doing something you love with your whole heart."
Riku's Words of Wisdom/'Laws of Motion'-owlpostagain (p.s. I just couldn't not put this here, because this, by far, is the most passionate thing I've ever read in a Fanfic)
"Yaz mentioned that the General was buying you a ring, that's all: I don't see you wearing it."
"Oh, it's not the kind of ring you wear on a finger," Cloud explained mildly.
"Cloud," Sephiroth murmured disapprovingly, relieved that none of his sons had overheard, as Yazoo and Loz were now in the dining room.
Reno's mouth fell open in shock. "You kinky little deviant!" he hissed.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones," Cloud replied imperturbably, "but whips and chains excite me."
Cloud and Reno/'AC 90210: The Even Cheesier Sequel'-Lady K. d'Azrael
Rikku cut across herself and latched onto the blonde boy. She jumped back and turned to look at the stranger who had his arm around Roxas' shoulders. "And you must be Seifer." She said, prodding his hard chest.
"No, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past," he drawled sarcastically.
She raised her eyebrows in disdain, "Don't patronise me. Do you know who I am? I am Roxas Harada's Best Friend. My name is Rikku with two 'k's and you will be sorry if you insult my intelligence again because I will kick your ass. Got it?"
Seifer's cocky smirk disappeared in a flash. She smiled approvingly as Axel let a short laugh escape him.
Rikku bitching out Seifer/'gIRlfRIendS'-Nicrafetix
Sephiroth sighed heavily, raking his uninjured hand through his disheveled silver hair. "Okay. I get it. I was an enemy of yours in the past. But I don't remember what it was we fought over, and I can't imagine what I could have done to warrant such abuse."
Aerith spoke in a voice cold like new snow. "You killed me."
"Did I?" Sephiroth looked her up and down in an exaggerated, sarcastic manner. "You seem fine to me."
She shrugged, a feral grin on her lips. "I'm a fast healer," she said, offering no further explanation.
"Doesn't change the fact that you're an unarmed-girl-killing asshole," Cid growled, jabbing his finger across the table at Sephiroth.
"Not to mention a hometown-burning pyromaniac," Tifa added.
"And a mass murderer working for the Darkness," Yuffie joined in.
"As well as maestro of the mindfuck," Cid said, pointing to a glowering Cloud to illustrate.
Funny argument between amnesiac Sephiroth and AVALANCHE/'Like Ghosts in Snow'-triedunture
Shuuhei paused, "I had a very, very brief phase, but it was nothing."
"Fine, it was nothing, but it shows that at least you can sometimes be attracted to men. It's not always just one side or the other, or even just bisexual, there's a spectrum."
"I doubt it."
"Ok, so Ikkaku almost always likes women, but he's head over heels in love with Yumichika. Yumichika exclusively dates men and is creeped out by the idea of being with a woman. Rangiku is... I don't know, omni... anyone that's interesting to her, barely paying attention to what sex they are," Kira continued.
"Well, I'm straight."
"No, I'm straight," Kira said. "You're almost straight."
Kira and Shuuhei conversation/'Lost Cause'-Totoromo
"Hey Shuuhei," Ichigo said wearily, sinking down onto the office futon.
"Something wrong?" Shuuhei asked. "Renji isn't bothering you still, is he?"
"Not more than usual," Ichigo laughed.
"Oh look, it's my favorite lieutenant!" Kisuke said, walking in.
"Are you talking to me?" Ichigo said. "Isn't that kind of mean?"
"Oh, I've just known you longer is all. I'm sure Shuuhei will climb up my list eventually," Kisuke grinned. "Want some candy?" he offered.
"Sure," Ichigo grabbed it.
Both Kisuke and Shuuhei stared.
"Are you sure?" Kisuke asked, taken by surprise.
"Ichigo, what are you doing?" Shuuhei asked.
"I'm depressed and bored," Ichigo shrugged, putting the lollypop in his mouth. "Well, it doesn't taste too bad," Ichigo said. "What does it do?"
"I…don't know," Kisuke responded.
"WHAT?" Shuuhei jumped up. "Take it out of your mouth!" he yelled at Ichigo.
"Meh, too late now. My mouth is all tingly and the room is getting a little fuzzy."
"Hey, it's fine!" Kisuke quickly put his hands up when Shuuhei glared at him angrily. "It's not deadly or anything, I'm just not sure which box I pulled stuff from this morning."
"Ichigo, why don't you lay down?" Shuuhei said.
"Naw, I'm fine. Can't say the same for Byakuya, poor sap," Ichigo said, his eyes slightly glazed.
"Captain Ukitake and I are trying to get Renji and Byakuya together because I'm pretty sure the pure white noble is secretly lusting after some tattoos and red hair," Ichigo replied nonchalantly. "It's not going well."
"Do you really think you should be speaking so freely right now?" Shuuhei said concerned, looking over at Kisuke.
"Ah, I got it!" Kisuke said. "Does it taste like grape?"
"Grape and burning," Ichigo answered.
"Truth serum doesn't exist," Shuuhei rolled his eyes.
"Ok fine, but 'loosening up to make someone more pliable and want to talk a lot serum' doesn't have the same ring to it," Kisuke admitted. "Why do you think Captain Kuchiki likes Renji?" he asked Ichigo.
"Are you kidding? I thought he was gonna cut a bitch when he saw me all dressed up and looking ready to troll the nearest street corner," Ichigo said with an unhealthy laugh. "It wasn't even my idea. That stumpy cross-dressing ice queen and his midget ice princess forced me into that outfit and now Byakuya thinks I'm chasing after his little love bunny."
"Whoa," Shuuhei said. Cross-dressing ice queen? He was referring to Captain Hitsugaya, right? Did Toshiro actually…
"Ooooohhh, this is so much fun," Kisuke sang. "Hm, what wouldn't you normally answer? I know! Do you find me attractive?"
"Go play with your pussy cat, Candyman," Ichigo said.
"You're so delightfully bitchy like this!" Kisuke said. "But, you didn't answer my question."
"Fine. You are attractive assuming that someone looks past the crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to you. Besides, why would anyone look at you when Shuuhei is standing right next to you looking like a sex god?" Ichigo said.
"Uh," Shuuhei mumbled.
Time to change the subject, Kisuke thought. He wasn't a stupid man by any means, and it was pretty obvious to anyone that had observed the two together that Ichigo was completely infatuated with Shuuhei. He just wanted to have a little fun, exposing Ichigo's little secret wasn't in his game plan.
"Have you ever been kissed?" Kisuke asked.
"Yeah, a couple times, by Renji," Ichigo admitted.
"Ha! I knew it. Nothing serious though?"
"Of course not, it's Renji. He was really nice about it though, even though he made me feel kind of like a stupid kid," Ichigo answered. "OHMYGOD I HAVE THE BEST IDEA!" he yelled, jumping up.
"Hey, slow down," Kisuke said. "This drug isn't the best thing to…"
"Calm down," Kisuke urged him. However, when Ichigo explained his idea he definitely agreed it was a good idea. Or a bad one. Sometimes the really bad ones are just too good to pass up.
"HEYRENJI!" Ichigo said energetically, jumping into Renji's lap.
"Um…Ichigo?" Renji didn't really know how to react.
"HEYRENJI! GUESSWHAT? KISUKE IS GOING TO POISON YOU!" Ichigo was so excited he was yelling.
"What!" Renji hadn't even paid attention to the fact that both Shuuhei and Kisuke had come into the room with Ichigo. Kisuke was on his left side holding a needle that was already going into Renji's arm. Renji tried to jump up but Ichigo was on his lap pining him down. The room began to fade into darkness. "What the hell just happened?" Renji wondered just before losing consciousness.
"I really wish I wasn't a part of this," Shuuhei said with deep sigh.
"Piff, I ordered you to come," Kisuke answered. "Believe me you'll be getting far odder orders from me in the future."
FUNNEH SCENE/'Lost Cause'-Totoromo
Cloud's sexuality was never something openly discussed. Not because he was shamed by it just that it wasn't anything that defined who Cloud was. As Cid had once quipped, 'If the damn savior of Gaia wants to fuck a fuckin' Chocobo then by Gaia let him!' Cloud slightly smirked as he remembered Cid slurring that statement before noting that Cloud already looked like a Chocobo and then told him to go fuck himself.
Cloud thinking about something Cid said/'Need You Now'-mizperceived
"I suppose that Tseng is chomping at the bit to question him," he said in a low, tense voice.
"Nah. The Director knows what's up." Reno stretched his legs out before him as he added, "He didn't like Hojo much, either."
"Hhmmpphh." Genesis tossed his red head as he shifted in his own chair. "As soon as Seph's better, I'm going to find wherever they bury Hojo and piss all over his grave."
Reno grinned at that. "Count me in, yo."
Genesis glanced over his shoulder, where Angeal was fighting a smile of his own. "Oh, please, tell me that the thought doesn't appeal to you?"
"Of course it does." Angeal brushed his lips over Zack's forehead and crossed the room. "That still doesn't make it right, Gen."
"Ppfftt. Like I'm worried about that." He looked back at his lover, who had come so close to death, and shuddered. "I wonder if I could talk Seph into doing it, too?"
"Now, that I'd pay to see," Zack joked as he joined them. "His Royal Hotness, whipping it out for all the world to see-Hey!"
Angeal set a hand on the back of his neck and squeezed gently in warning. "I thought we'd covered this, Zack."
"We did, we did," he said hastily. "That doesn't mean he's not hot, Angeal. It just means that I'm not supposed to say that I think so in front of him."
He looked down at the sleeping man and said, "I think I'm safe for the moment, babe."
"You'd be. . .wrong."
Sephiroth waking up after near-death experience/'Final Fantasy VII: Angelic Threnody'-DarkSeraphim1
Tseng's yearning eyes failed to waver from Kadaj's soft features. "The boys would need to take the necessary lab tests, but Hojo's conclusions have been proven sound so far. As for the deal, Cloud would also need to take the test verifying his possible fertility."
"Son-of-a-fucking-bitch! That's it! I didn't sign up for this! Cid, kill me now!"
Cloud being dramatic/'Vincent's Treasures'- talinsquall
Once they finally found a camera they made their way back to the apartment. It was small and black with a screen that took up most of the back. Genesis had snatched it from his hands half way through their argument and bought it, a case, and an extra card, ignoring the protests the whole time. The first thing he did when they got back to Sephiroth's apartment was sit at the table and get it working.
As Genesis was licking the spoon he'd used to scoop out three bowls of ice cream the camera flashed and the door opened.
He glared at Cloud. "Is that why you got that thing? To take pictures of me when I'm looking stupid?" Sephiroth walked up behind him and peeked at the screen. He snorted, patting Cloud on the head.
"Lovely shot. His mouth is wide open, as usual."
Sephiroth, Genesis, and Cloud/'Disciplinary Action'-ShadesofImagination
"Do you.. want a bite?"
Sephiroth's eyes flicked from the sandwich to the cadet holding it, "What is it?"
The young man reminded Sephiroth of Cloud upon their first interactions. Stammering, small, red faced. He swallowed, obviously embarrassed to be conversing with the General over something so insignificant, "T-tuna."
"Tuna. Do I even like tuna?"
The cadet's large brown eyes flicked to both sides, then his narrow shoulders slowly came upwards in a shrug.
Sephiroth stared at him for a moment longer, wondering why he had been shrugged at when he realized he'd just verbalized that thought out loud. Before he thought to feel slightly out of sorts about it, his eyes drifted back down to the sexiest sandwich he had ever seen in his life.
Flaky texture. Pinkish meat. Smaller bits of something else mixed in. Pillowy bread, the teeth indents making it all the more enticing. Sephiroth's nosed twitched slightly as he took in the scent of it.
Sephiroth and a random cadet with an even more random Tuna sandwich/'Kittens'-sephcounttheways
"Cloud are sure your ok your face is bright red! Kunsel help!" Zack was clearly alarmed by the situation at hand.
"Geez Zack calm down. He's just blushing."
"Blushing…?" Zack trailed off.
"Yes now it's probably best you stop touching him and leave him alone." Kunsel suggested from where he sat on the couch.
"But I wanna know why he's-"
"Oh my gods Zack look a distraction!" Kunsel yelled pointing at a wall, effectively cutting off Zack.
"Where," Zack yelled, completely forgetting about Cloud.
Zack, Kunsel, and Toddler!Cloud/'Materia Findings'-Broken Beings
Sephiroth completed the kiss with a long flick of his tongue, then there was a rustle of the bag, "It made me think of you. Open."
Cloud smiled widely, wondering what could have made Sephiroth think of him, and he slowly, carefully slit one blue eye open.
Sephiroth was holding up a small, baby blue t-shirt that declared, 'Nibelheim : A quaint little drinking town with a mountain problem.'
Sephiroth and Cloud/'Blonde Ambition'-sephcounttheways
"Hey, Reno." It might not have been the most inconspicuous approach but it worked nonetheless. The redheaded Turk was sitting in the lounge area designed for the Turks and them alone, not that anyone objected to Sephiroth entering. Not unless that anyone wanted to stay alive. "I think you're the father of my child."
Tseng, across the room, spit out his coffee. He stared blankly at the counter and just continued to stare. Reno looked up, half asleep, and let the words sink in. As they did so his eyes grew in size, coming to the realization. "What?" he asked, yawning lazily.
"I think. That you. Are. The Father. Of. My. Child." Sephiroth reiterated. Reno stared back at him, his mouth adjacent and his eyes had that far off look they got whenever he wasn't really awake, nor listening, but his eyes somehow managed to stay open.
"I think you broke him." Rude piped up, sitting beside Reno and calmly drinking coffee. He had the paper open and was reading an article on cloning.
Funny moment/'Maternity Leave SOLDIER Style'-XPyromaniacxDestinyX
They passed through Junon where Sephiroth decided it would be fun to through a water balloon at Vincent while he as talking. Vincent had a mouth full of dirty salt water and Sephiroth burned off like a bat out of hell with his friends in tow. He showed them his favorite spot to hide back in the lab days, on top of Junon cannon. They marveled at the sun setting over the harbor, though Angeal had his eyes on the way the sun made Sephiroth's hair practically glow. Genesis watched them both with a fond smile.
"I think this should totally be our place," Genesis suggested.
"Hmm, it's always been mine but I guess I don't mind sharing."
They looked at Angeal who sputtered an uncharacteristic "huh"
"Not even paying attention," Genesis shook his head.
"We said-" BANG! A bullet whizzed past Sephiroth's head. "SHIT! He found us!"
Genesis shrieked when one hit the ground near his foot. "WHY'S HE SHOOTING AT US! WE DIDN'T THROW THE DAMN BALLOON!"
Angeal dodge rolled as a bullet hit the spot he had been in. "Fuck! Where the hell is he?"
"He's fucking sniping us! Run, run, run!" Sephiroth jumped before a bullet could hit him.
"I don't wanna die."
Vincent stood on a platform overlooking the cannon. "Nice, you're natural."
Tseng smirked as he adjusted the sight and took another shot at Genesis. "I get ice cream if I hit loud one's bracelet."
"Careful, don't shoot his hand off."
Tseng squeezed the trigger and Vincent heard Genesis scream.
"AH! My favorite bracelet. That was a bitch move, Daddy Vincent!"
"Dude, shut up and run!"
Vincent looked down at Tseng who sat up with the rifle that was too big for him. He nodded approvingly. "What flavor?"
Funny Moment/ 'Walking Out on Destiny'- Akino Hakume
Suddenly Sephiroth and Vincent stopped playing. Vincent hugged Sephiroth's neck and began to lead him to the door, talking about getting a beer. The five eavesdroppers fell to their hands and knees and scuttled across the carpet towards the living room.
Tseng was making his way to the bathroom and was confronted with the hastily crawling posse. He pressed himself to the wall to allowed them to travel past him like a family of crabs. He decided to just not ask.
A Crabby Moment/'Blonde Ambition'-sephcounttheways
"Toast, toast!" Kairi hollered from the kitchen. She brought out the ten mugs on a tray, filled with iced coffee and whipped cream, and handing them out. Riku paused to kiss Sora one more time, eyeing him meaningfully, then took his arm and moved to join them. The group formed a loose circle around the table. The breadth of their friendship was a little overwhelming, and they stood there for a long moment, trying to find the words.
"So, what? To true love?" Tidus finally proposed, raising his glass.
"In all its forms," Naminé agreed.
"To all the good, and all the bad," Leon said, squeezing Cloud's hand.
"Don't forget the ugly," Roxas chimed in with a smirk, elbowing his boyfriend. Axel glared at him and thrust his own mug upwards.
"To the love of chocolate."
"To the love that takes way the hell too long to realize," Wakka said.
Riku felt Sora's momentary hesitation, then watched him slowly raise his mug, his eyes glittering with emotion. "To the love that's worth it. The love that's worth everything," he said, looking up at Riku with a shy smile. Riku nodded. Happiness flooded him in great waves, and he drew in a deep breath, tasting the cleanest air in eighteen years. Coffee. Silly string. The sweetness of Sora's shampoo.
"To beauty," Riku said softly. "Which doesn't mean a goddamn thing."
My favorite moment of one of the funniest/dramatic/best stories I've read in a long time/'The Ugly Duckling Effect'-Azneyez
"LEON, WE'RE OUT OF WEETOS!"
"LEON, WE ARE OUT OF W-E-E-T-O-S!"
"LEON, WE'RE OUT OF MILK!"
Bang bang bang. CRASH. Door off hinges. Enter red-faced loon.
"What? What was that! I could have sworn I bought some yesterday!" he raged, charging over to the fridge and almost breaking the door on that too in his milk-worry enduced haste. He actually went goo-eyed with relief as he grasped a fresh carton and went at it with gusto, dribbling some down his front. The things you see when you don't have a camera.
The very beginning/'Vanilla!'-Starlyte
The door clicked open and Cloud smiled, still nuzzling
a pillow. "Welcome home, Seph."
"Hello, love." A soft kiss was pressed to his head and he felt fingers run through his hair. They each had a fascination with the other's hair. The only one who seemed immune to it was Zack; who instead had a fascination with Angeal's beard.
Cute part (who wouldn't have be fascinated with Ang's fuzzeh beard)/'Project Closet'-ShadesofImagination
And the asshole boyfriend of the year award most definitely went to Genesis, for successfully convincing one Cloud Strife that there were zombies living in Lake Midgar.
'Gone Fishing'-Prisoner Len
This isn't quote from a fanfic, but I think it's hilarious, so I'm putting it HERE!!!
*Stan, Kyle, and Kenny riding an out-of-control sled with boxes(i'm not sure what they really are)*
Stan: Dude bail! Bail!
Stan&Kyle: AUGH!! *land face-first in the snow*
Kenny: What? *sled hits rock; Kenny hits tree; boxes hit Kenny, killing him*
Stan: *looks up* Ooh my god, we killed Kenny...
Kyle: *looks up* We killed Kenny?
Stan: Killed Kenny-We're bastards...
"Do not attempt to move or we will be shooting ourselves!"
Genie to Aladdin's Dad/'Aladdin and the King of Thieves'-Disney
"Alright!" said Zack cheerfully as he kicked open the door, he was holding a steaming bowl of thick green liquid "I've got food for you, Spike! I know it looks funny but, I swear, I followed the recipe this time."
He set the bowl on Cloud's bedside table.
"What is this?" the blonde asked "Green pea puree?"
"It's chicken soup."
Sephiroth took a step back as if he expected the contents of the bowl to jump up and bite him. Cloud paled and pushed the green liquid away from him.
"What!" Zack demanded "I slaved over a hot stove and you're not even going to try it?"
"I'm not eating anything that is that colour," Cloud replied firmly.
"I think it just moved," Sephiroth said wearily.
"Zack, go order a pizza. And burn that thing while you're at it."
Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth/'Forgotten Warriors'-bloody but beautiful 4
Cloud stared up vacantly at the ceiling. He couldn't seem to fall asleep again.
He'd gotten up to close the curtains. Sunlight seemed to irritate his eyes. He didn't feel quite as sick as before but he did feel weak. And cold. He always felt cold.
"What's happening to me?" he asked out loud.
"You're body is changing. Becoming more like mine when I was alive. You need to be stronger."
Cloud turned his head to glare at Strife.
"Don't you knock?"
"My hands would just pass through the door."
"Now that was intelligent."
"Stop insulting yourself."
Cloud and Strife/'Forgotten Warriors'-bloody but beautiful 4
Genesis stepped into the dark room and froze.
"Is something wrong?" Cloud asked, confused.
"It feels almost as if there is someone besides you and me here," the ex-SOLDIER said warily, looking around the room, alert to danger.
"You do not see me," Strife said "But do you sense me?"
To Cloud's utter shock, Strife stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes.
"It mocks us."
"You do sense me."
Strife hassling Genesis/'Forgotten Warriors'-bloody but beautiful 4
When Zack and Sephiroth got back to the apartment that night, they were greeted by Angeal who had a long suffering look on his face.
"I fear Genesis had been entertaining your young cadet," he said gravely.
"With what?" the younger SOLDIER asked suspiciously.
"With stories of trickery and deceit. And I think most of them are quite violent"
"Tell him to stop scaring Cloud!" Zack ordered "He's such an innocent thing."
"I don't think you get it, Zack," his former mentor told him "The nastier the stories are, the harder Cloud laughs."
"What?" Zack shouted as he stormed into the room.
"I'm surrounded by freaks," the silver haired General stated plaintively, as Zack and Genesis got into a loud argument over who was corrupting Cloud.
Angeal foretelling of Cloud's corruption by Genesis/'Forgotten Warriors'-bloody but beautiful 4
"Well, did he open it?"
"He said, 'If you have enough time to raid every vending machine in the compound, then you can do all this.'"
"What? That's why I sent you to get all those Snickers!"
"Well, Cloud, have a seat. I'm going to teach you the finer points of paperwork."
"You're not serious." Isn't that illegal?
"Cloud, the art of paperwork is to skim for specific words. If you see 'Scarlet', 'Hojo', anything to do with the science department in fact, rip it in half and toss it in the garbage can. Now, this is Sephiroth's signature. Notice all the perfectly circular loops. If it's addressed to him, sign his name. If it's addressed to me, scribble something that has a big 'Z' in the front."
"I'm kidding Cloud."
Zack and Cloud/'Green Dreams'- I. Mushi
Why these incidents almost always happen on the elevator, Angeal would never know. Several confused passengers looked around. The SOLDIER First just stoically stared ahead, his grinning apprentice bouncing in place beside him.
"What the?" one person muttered. As a collective they shrugged it off. Several more people entered the elevator and it continued its descent.
"Does anyone else hear that?" someone asked.
"Yeah, who let a cat in?"
Angeal valiantly struggled to keep a straight face.
"Seriously where's it coming from?"
All of the sudden Zack screamed like a banshee, causing everyone else, besides Angeal, to scream with him.
Elevator Ride/'Mr Funny'-Diaphanous
"A fart is the cry of an imprisoned turd."
The elevator was quite crowded today. Currently Zack and Angeal were squished in the middle of the group of chattering and complaining office workers. The older SOLDIER was cursing the fact that two other elevators had broken down, thus explaining the increased traffic in their usual elevator. Even Zack looked a bit put out by the crowd. Out of the corner of his eye though, Angeal saw an unholy grin spread across his apprentice's youthful face.
'Oh Goddess, what is he planning now?' Angeal thought with growing horror as he watched the younger man shift from one foot to the other. And then Zack leaned a little to one side against some male secretary who was throwing him the evil eye...
As one, the people in the elevator started screaming. Several even pounded on the doors, crying to be let out. The First-Class SOLDIER's eyes crossed as the smell hit him square in the nose.
Angeal threw up a little in his mouth.
Another Elevator Ride/'Mr Funny'-Diaphanous
"I think everyone went crazy and I got left out," Ichigo remarks suddenly.
Funny Sentence/'Where He Belongs'-Vaerin7
Byakuya is walking home the next day when he sees Grimmjow, stopping momentarily to nod a greeting. The wide sadistic grin on the teal haired man's lips has him frowning, caution filling him immediately as he realizes this grin looks identical to Kenpachi or Ichigo when they're fighting.
"… What are you smiling at?" he wonders nervously.
"You are in such deep shit," Grimmjow cackles. "I'm so glad you didn't let me have him."
"Yep. Have fun, Kuchiki-taicho! Oh! Watch out for that right hook, he's gotten mean with it."
Grimmjow strolls past him, a bounce in his step as he hums a little tune to himself.
Grimmjow and Byakuya/'Where He Belongs'-Vaerin7
Watson: [Holmes points his violin bow at Watson] Get that out of my face.
Holmes: It's not in your face, it's in my hand.
Watson: Get what's in your hand out of my face.
Sherlock Holmes and Watson/Sherlock Holmes 
Yeah, Zack had sleepovers. Zack was cool like that.
LOL moment/'336 hours'-scythelove
In the courageous memory of a true hero
Born: September 14, 19XX
Died: July 25, 20XX
Here lies one who took his chances
In the busy world of men
Battled luck and circumstances
Fought and fell and fought again.
Won sometimes, but did no crowing
Lost sometimes, but did not wail
Took his lumps, but kept on going
And never let his courage fail.
Awesome Poem/'A Hero's Epitaph'-Ms.Mumpsimus
"Zackary and I will have to leave soon, since his body goes into shock without a steady dose of Cloud."
Cid: "Careful kid, you'll be crashing into the floor before you crash your bike at this rate."
Harry: "You'd be surprised, I've got an alcohol tolerance that'd make a SOLDIER green with envy."
Cid: "Doubt that, we've got our own SOLDIER boy, and while he can hold his drink well, he still goes lopsided after a few rounds."
Harry: "Lopsided eh? Interesting image."
Cid Highwind and Harry Potter/'Anything More'-Sharingan-Youkai
"Something big's going on outside, and we're all too smashed to do anything about it..."
drunk Junon resident, Final Fantasy VII
"The red carpet has teeth."
Auron, Final Fantasy X
"A pro isn't someone who sacrifices themselves for a job. That's just a fool."
Reno, Final Fantasy VII
"Shut up Elena. You're making me sober."
Reno, Final Fantasy VII
"Well... that's a lame way to kill someone."
Tidus, Final Fantasy X
"This is my phone... Tell Yuffie she has no right to reach this number..."
Vincent Valentine, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
"Life with men is like a deck of cards... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards."
"We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage.' I believe the technical term is 'being an ass'."
Sohma Shigure, Fruits Basket
Dante: =Eye twitching= "Nero..."
Nero: =Covers mouth to stop from laughing=
Dante: "You were joking...weren't you?"
Dante: "What would...possess you, to say something...like that?"
Dante: "You do realize I'm going to kill now, right?"
Dante and Nero/'Cat Nip'-Sharingan-Youkai
Reno: Hey, partner... =hold up bomb and shakes it slightly= This thing... uh... got any bite to it?
Rude: Shin-Ra technology at its finest.
Reno: Oh, so you made it?
Rude: If nothing else, it's... flashy.
Reno: =smiles naughtily= Oh, good...
Rude: You love it, I know.
Reno and Rude, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Angeal: "When the B Unit sets off the signal, you're to sneak in and-"
Zack: =bounces in place= "Yeah...? And...? And, and, and...?!"
Angeal: -smirk- "Indulge yourself."
Zack: "Yes! That's what I do best!"
Zack and Angeal, Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
"Me and Cloud here are both backwater experts. Oh yeah!"
Zack , Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
“Evil beware. We have waffles.”
Raven, Teen Titans
Cid: "So, Black, hows that little bike of yours going? Totaled it yet?"
Harry: "No, Cid I haven't totaled it, why, you looking for playing a test dummy?"
Cid: "Not likely, just askin', seeing how you bloody drive that thing I have to ask."
Harry: "I'm not dead yet, so I'll continue driving like I do."
Cid: "Damn speed junkies, the lot of ya."
Harry: "Better to be a speed junkie then a nicotine junkie."
Cid: "Hey, off my back kid, I can smoke however much I want! Besides, at least its killin' me slowly, whilst if you crash you'd be a pretty stain on the road before you can say BAHM!"
Harry: "That's if I crash, and the likely hood of that? Slim to none, I may drive fast, but I drive smart."
Cid: "You, smart? Yeah, and I'm the King of ShinRa."
Cid Highwind and Harry Potter/'Anything More'-Sharingan-Youkai
“Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.”
“Men are 44 percent muscle, 53 percent fat and 3 percent brain. This explains a lot of things.”
"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid."
Jack Sparrow, PotC
Dr. Buddy: "Dave, there are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive, which is the most common, is the type of individual you see screaming at a grocery store cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive, the least common, is the cashier at the store who remains quiet at his job day after day until he then finally loses it and just shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier."
Dave: "No, no, no. I'm the guy in the frozen food section dialling 911. I swear."
Dr. Buddy Rydell and Dave Buznik: Anger Managment
Dante: "Awe come on kid, you'd think after six months you'd be used to it by now."
Dante: "If remember correctly it was you who said you'd have to get used to it."
Nero: =Huffs= "I'm a teenager, I'm allowed to rapidly change my decisions."
Dante: =Laughs= "And I'm Dante, I'm allowed to point out your flaws just to annoy you."
Nero: "And I'm Nero, I can just as easily say no sex for a month if you pester me."
Dante: =Blinks= "...Touche..."
-Dante and Nero/'Cat Nip'-Sharingan-Youkai
Something swirled in the depths of the water, twisting eel like through bizarre, viscous liquid. A sound like a liquid being sucked through a straw filled the room and Link yanked the sword from its sheath, shield on his arm a second later.
It reared from the water, a parody of Volvagia from just a few weeks ago…except not nearly as dramatic because water flying everywhere and soaking you is mildly annoying at best. Lava flying everywhere and hitting you is painful but extremely cool looking and impressive.
Needless to say when the creature lifted…a random body part, since it didn't seem to have specific sections, Link was less than impressed.
"It's a giant water worm…" he called to Sheik.
"It's a dangerousgiant aquatic amoeba."
"…Of course it is. I mean, an overgrown single celled organism, which technically shouldn't be able to move as it has no nervous system, never mind the fact that it shouldn't be able to acknowledge my existence because it has no consciousness, hell no brain in the first place, is obviously going to be dangerous."
"Stop challenging its logical existence and fight it."
"But it should have burst ages ago due to too much water diffusing into its body! It hasn't even got organelles; it shouldn't even be able to move, it has no mitochondria to produce ATP, even if it did have a nervous system and muscles to affect it!"
"…I don't want to know where you're getting all this information from and I've quite possibly used this line before but…less talky, more slashy."
Link and Sheik about to fight Morpha/'Bring me to Light'- Link-luvr
"Use the longshot…" Sheik called "and don't try any lame jokes this time…" he added, remembering Link's reaction to getting the item.
They had jumped down into the underground river and he had watched Link play with his new toy, aiming at a target on the wall.
"That's going to be a bit of a long shot," he had quipped and promptly descended into manic laughter at his pathetic joke for a good five minutes.
Back in the present however…"What do I aim for?"
"Big pink thing?"
"You spend 10 minutes verbally decimating its structure and likelihood of attacking and you don't know what the nucleus is?"
Link and Sheik about to fight Morpha/'Bing me to Light'- Link-luvr
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