Tastychainsaws
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Joined 12-23-09, id: 2188184, Profile Updated: 07-05-15
Author has written 20 stories for Fallout, Lucky Star, K-ON!/けいおん!, and Strike Witches.

"The chainsaw smile of the mortician shines
I still got all my fingers but somewhere I lost my mind
I can smell abortion on you
I can see through
I take the gun out of my mouth and point it at you"

-The Mortician's Flame by Acid Bath


I haven't been updating much lately with work and life taking up my time. Furthermore I'm directing my creative drive on a rough draft of my first novel. Bringing the Dawn still gets some attention, and at some point I'll start uploading book two in clusters of several chapters instead of all at once. I'm looking for an artist to do up a cover for it and I'm willing to pay.

Tea Time in Tesseract: A story I have yet to upload and am working on (four chapters in). A K-On! story unlike any other. A sci-fi story where Mugi joins a crew of space pirates to travel between worlds and rescue her friends from aliens that are basically anime monster girls. It's a crossover of a handful of animes with a lot of jokes but some more serious plot too. Think Sci-fi Chooser of the Slain except better in every single way imaginable.

Lunatic Fringe: My novel in progress- not fanfiction. Essentially the plot verbatim of Nightmare, Feeding a Dream and All There Was with new characters. Follows the story of a cast of characters in a small fictional town in northern Texas. The protagonist, Elleanor Kunze, finds a strange object from another world that connects her to the Entity of Suffering and ends up dragging family and friends into a nightmare scenario of horrific events and death. It's a myriad of dark expressions and recurring characters from my fanfictions. Drug addiction, alcoholism, self-destruction and sexual abuse based heavily off my own experiences and of those I've met. I'm willing to share some rough draft stuff to people interested.

Bringing the Dawn: The culmination of nine months worth of effort. This is my attempt at a big Strike Witches fantasy epic. It's the story of Perrine traveling across Europe, following the instructions of a letter Mio Sakamoto left her. She gathers an elite team of witches, and forms bonds with them as they overcome brutal obstacles and form deep bonds. Along the way, she learns more of just who Sakamoto is, and who her parents were. She discovers secrets about her family that were once buried, and fights enemies that would use those secrets against her as a devious weapon to strike at her heart.

As an added treat, here is a playlist of every song mentioned in my author's notes in the order they appear in the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFAskJN4YKE&list=PLcKtemHiYT2_ZNWRhnVNo0KiudelLyDG4

Also, Bringing the Dawn is ENTIRELY STAND ALONE. Yes, all you people who have been with me since the beginning but haven't watched Strike Witches can read this and follow along.

Bringing the Dawn- Book Two: First chapter is up with three others ready to go. Will be uploading the next ones shortly when I'm confident of their editing. I'm flying solo editing now and I'm not confident so it'll take longer. Just let me know what you guys think!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8rPGV2LCjo&list=PLcKtemHiYT29z9eBK35xe4ab1x47_FFO3 Here is the playlist for the songs mentioned and recommended for the story. This is going to be ahead of the game since I play this while writing.


ABOUT ME CRAP

So I'm an aspiring writer who wasted too much time on fanfiction and still does. I'm a heavy drinker and chain-smoker who is a habitual drug-user. I live with my dog, Nellie and some other people. I like metal a lot and dabble in guitar playing. I got a black v-model that's kind of badass. I don't think my neighbors like it. Aside from writing and music I love cooking. I do it for a living and since writing will never pay my bills I want to be a chef. I'm in my young twenties and have five kitchen jobs under my belt. They hinder writing since it's usually overtime hours over six days a week followed by outlandish amounts of drinking with coworkers. But holy shit can I COOK.

Updates on my writing are slowing down since I'm not that great of a writer but I'm a good cook. I'm focusing on the latter more and more.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Temporal Axis by Simon Pilkington reviews
Ritsu's forgetfulness gets her into trouble once again. Seeking to fix things, Yui and the drummer encounter something that will mess up their schedule quite a bit. Yui and Ritsu friendship fic, implied "canon" pairings and some more.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,729 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 10/5/2011 - Yui H., Ritsu T. - Complete
Tea Time at 420 by Grand Phoenix reviews
The girls are searching for inspiration for their next big song one day when Yui walks in carrying a box wrapped in crumpled brown paper. What could it be, and how does it relate to their efforts? /Pre-S2; two-shot CRACK/
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,227 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Yui H., Ui H. - Complete
The Other Dimension by xnobody13 reviews
And the last thing they saw before the light blinded them was the sight of everyone falling.
Lucky Star - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 62,155 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/31/2011 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Konata I., Misao K.
Tell Me by Thecrazyrabidfangirl reviews
An unexpected Striker malfunction propels Shirley on a journey that will uncover more than she could possibly imagine... Lucchini x Charlotte
Strike Witches - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,268 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/28/2010 - F. Lucchini, Shirley/Charlotte Y. - Complete
Fingertips on the Frets by Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator reviews
Sweet little Yui soon discovers the sour after-tastes of the new life-style she has fallen into. Based on the doujin "Requiem 5 a Dream".
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,795 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Yui H. - Complete
Waltz by Some1Else reviews
This isn't what Azusa had in mind when she wished her friends wouldn't graduate.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,540 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Azusa N. - Complete
Gurren Jesus by Jasonbobdude reviews
Jesus and Kamina team up to win World War II.
Crossover - Bible & Gurren Lagann - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 695 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 407 - Follows: 43 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Kamina - Complete
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF by Cup of Life Noodles reviews
SPOILERS: ACID
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 3,285 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/12/2009 - Published: 11/15/2009
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bringing the Dawn: Book Two reviews
The dark middle chapter of Perrine's journey to save Gallia from Neuroin. Their journey takes them to Rome where they must bring order to a chaotic city and forge new allegiances. Ghosts of an ally's past haunts them as she finds redemption and in the end they must rally together to stop Romanga from becoming another Gallia. The last step before retaking Gallia...
Strike Witches - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 32,923 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/21 - Published: 2/24
The Heavy Music Club reviews
A mysterious transfer student arrives with her guitar and wins the heart and minds of Sakuragaoka students with her coolness. It's up to Tsumugi to expose this transfer student as what she really is... a nerd. Mugi sets out on a fun adventure full of heavy metal, nerdisms, and a heavy scissor shaped sword that keeps breaking everything.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 25,591 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/26 - Published: 3/24/2014
The Forever Night reviews
"They had grown past tragedies, but still held their lost friends dear to their heart. On the road to rebuilding what had once been, two childhood friends plan a trip back to a childhood home. Ancient traditions call for modern blood, and one must heed the call. They say the night is darkest just before dawn, but what if that dawn never comes?"
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 37,334 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/22/2014 - Published: 10/25/2012 - Ritsu T.
Bringing the Dawn: Book One reviews
After losing her homeland, Perrine has trained her entire life under the guidance of Mio Sakamoto. One day, Sakamoto disappears and sends Perrine a letter months later, instructing her to build a task force of the strongest witches in Europe to retake Gallia. This is the first part of Perrine's journey in an epic fantasy to bring the dawn to Gallia with the help of new friends.
Strike Witches - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 130,415 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/4/2013 - Perrine-H. C., Eila J. - Complete
Total War reviews
A rainy day spurs a handful of the witches of the 501st to play a board game a bit unlike normal ones. What starts as a friendly way to pass the time devolves into a viscous battle to conquer the globe. History, as they say, is doomed to repeat itself.
Strike Witches - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,731 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 2/1/2013 - Published: 4/19/2012
Mugichan: Chooser Of The Slain reviews
"With the notes of an ephemeral song, I'm taken away from my home and forced into the role of a hero. New surroundings, the same friends, new romances, a demon that claims to be my sister, and a world that's going to end pretty soon." A yuri filled fantasy adventure inspired by folklore, literature, and metal. The first chapters are a bit rocky, but it gets much better!
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 245,265 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 7/27/2012 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Tsumugi K.
All There Was reviews
Swirling dreams of darkness call two friends back to where they once called home. The tragedy of a lost friend sparks questions and the desire for answers, but these two friends will stumble across more than they ever wished to know.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 74,241 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 2/9/2012 - Published: 11/20/2011 - Ritsu T., Tsumugi K. - Complete
Afterdark Tea Time reviews
Right on the day before Halloween, the Light Music Club accidentally stay at school a little later than they mean to. They soon learn that locked doors and barred windows are going to be the least of their worries on this dark night.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,966 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Ritsu T., Tsumugi K.
The Insane Misadventures Of The 501st reviews
A collection of stories detailing the various adventures, shenanigans, and scenarios ranging from Halloween safety lectures to battles against anthropomorphic frog people. All while keeping the spirit of the anime. Suspension of disbelief required.
Strike Witches - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,300 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/18/2011 - Published: 6/8/2011
Feeding A Dream reviews
"Yui-senpai, where did you go? Why did you leave me here without telling me where you went? I miss you so much that it hurts, please just give me some sort of sign so I can keep clinging onto this distance hope. I'd even face death itself to be with you."
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,065 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/19/2011 - Published: 3/18/2011 - Azusa N., Yui H. - Complete
Closer To The Heart reviews
Yui is hard at work trying to create a tasty Valentine's Day treat for someone special, but Ui can't seem to figure out who it's for. Ui wants to help, but Yui is determined to make her chocolates on her own... which may spell disaster for their kitchen.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,765 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/15/2011 - Yui H., Ui H.
Something For Everyone reviews
With the holiday season upon her, Tsumugi decides to find the perfect gift for all her friends. All is well until she is thrown in a chaotic vortex of rival cults, vikings, and conflicting interests. She must find a way to please everyone before the 25th.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 22,981 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 2/5/2011 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Tsumugi K.
Miyuki, Thespian Extraordinaire reviews
Takara Miyuki is a kind, graceful, and elegant young lady. But throughout her high-school years something sinister and dark was lurking behind those bright, bubbly eyes. Currently being polished and rewritten. CHAPTERS 1-7 UPDATED. READ IT. READ IT NOW!
Lucky Star - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 87,190 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/31/2011 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Miyuki T.
Mio's Electrifying Tale From The Grave reviews
A terrible accident ends Mio's life unexpectedly. However, the ravaged bassist soon learned that death enjoyed eluding her as she struggled to resume daily life with her family and friends. Just in time for Halloween!
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,340 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/29/2010 - Mio A. - Complete
And Forever It Shall Be reviews
Ui has always loved Yui in a way that no one else -even her sister- could understand. But when Yui starts spending time with her friends more than Ui, the younger sister begins to feel her sanity slip. Rated M for just about everything there is to rate M
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,089 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/16/2010 - Ui H., Yui H. - Complete
Nightmare reviews
When Yui wakes up in a strange place and meets a strange girl, she is forced to help both of them escape. But, this strange girl has a connection to Yui that bonds them together somehow. Rated T because there's nothing really explicit in here.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,745 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2010 - Yui H. - Complete
The Price of Attention reviews
One lonely day, Tsumugi realize that she gets far less hugs than anyone else. She also notices she's mostly a waitress for her friends at times. So she makes a few remarks, and does a few things to get noticed. Things quickly get out hand.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,902 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/25/2010 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Tsumugi K. - Complete
The Dead Music Club reviews
When a highly contagious disease that turns humans into flesh eating monsters strikes without warning, the girls of Light Music Club must work together to survive the zombie apocalypse. Luckily Ritsu is the "Zombie Master", or so she thinks.
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 29,921 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Ritsu T., Azusa N. - Complete
Long Way Home reviews
Yui has always had a knack for getting into trouble. Now through a series of various antics, mistakes, silliness, and adventures; Yui has gotten Azusa and her into the most trouble yet. Friendship will be tested as they find their way home. YuixAzusa
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 63,994 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 8/4/2010 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Azusa N., Yui H. - Complete
Falling Stars reviews
The four girls have lived in an enormous underground vault their entire lives safe from the hellish wastes. But when Konata's father leaves randomly one morning she drags her friends with her to find him and possibly a new life. DONE!
Crossover - Fallout & Lucky Star - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 159,770 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 12/25/2009 - Kagami H. - Complete