Eve-the-Charlotte
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Joined 12-26-09, id: 2190782, Profile Updated: 10-28-12
Author has written 75 stories for Harry Potter, Total Drama series, iCarly, X-Men: Evolution, Yours, Mine, and Ours, DC Superheroes, Runaways, Static Shock, Teen Titans, Lord of the Rings, Justice League, Hetalia - Axis Powers, South Park, Tokyo Mew Mew, X-overs, Smallville, Invader Zim, Code Lyoko, X-Men: The Movie, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Avengers, and Merlin.

Update: Thank you for those who have reviewed This is How the World Ends, The Devil's Alphabet, iThink, Colors, Dog Days of August, Witchblood, Final Countdown, Next, Migraine, The Secret Life of Henry McCoy, Frankenstein's Monster, Viva la Vida, Cryo, Of Claws and Teeth, Neutrality, At the Speed of Light, Visiting the New World, Irony, The Ties That Bind Are Red, Over and Over, All We Need Is Love, A Smile A Day, Butterfly, Sugar, Baby, Ma Chérie Anna Marie, Devil in Disguise, Infinitesimal, The Dance, Cold as Ice, Time, Love the Way You Lie, Eat Pray Suck, Forbidden, Be a Man, Clockwork Angel, The High Road, The Low Road, Winter Joy, Homecoming Queen, A is for After, A New World, Early Morning Mischief with Alex Masters, Merry Mornings, Obsessed, Red Robin, Sharada, Smokes, The Fallen, The True Lord of the Lightning, Violet, Welcome to My Nightmare, Dursleys' Demented, Adventures in Single Motherhood, Asleep, Unrequited, When He Was Good, and Book of Adam: Swan Song Redux. It is great to know that people are reading the stories I publish on this website. So, thank you for the reviews! Seriously, you guys rock!

Update: My regular computer just crashed, and I probably won't be able to access the files that contain the stories I planned on posting. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience.

Update: Sorry I haven't been updating a lot lately; I've been really busy, but I am going to update more soon, so sit tight, the stories will come! Eventually. . . (Hey, this sums up everything!)

--Hi there, peoples! My pen-name's Eve-the-Charlotte, my real name's none of your concern, and it is truly a wonderful day to be alive! And that is a big ol' run-on sentence (not really, I think). So, here's my profile, hope you enjoy.

Quotes that I know and people will probably skip over because they don't care, unless they're like me and have no life whatsoever and actually take time to read the damn things:

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back, and let the world wonder how the hell you did it.-Unknown

I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!-Unknown

Don't take life so seriously, it's not like you'll be getting out alive.-Unknown

Damn, Unknown's got some the best little advice sayings in the whole effing universe. A lot of funny shit, too.-Me

Zombies-Nature's way of pissing off science.-Unknown

Damn is my favorite written swear word, what's yours?-Me

Silence may be golden, but ductape is definitely silver.-Unknown

I wanna blow shit up with my mind.-Unknown

How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up.-Unknown (My answer to people before 0900 hours)

I am the Dread Pirate Roberts-your mom!

Work like you don't need the money. Love like no one has ever hurt you. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live like this is paradise on Earth.-Unknown (Very profound!)

When I'm happy, I cry. When I'm sad, I cry. When I'm angry, I cry. I think I have some sort of hormonal imbalance.-Me (Too much estrogen in this girl. And, yes, I am female, can't you tell. Well, can't you!? *goes off to cry* Damn it!)

It rubs lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.-Eric Cartman, South Park

GODZIRRA!!-Random Japanese mob persons

Explosives Technician-If you see me running, try to keep up!-Unknown

Screw world peace, I want a pony!-Unknown

Instant Human, just add coffee-Unknown My family in the morning :)

If you can read this, you are within roundhouse kick range-Unknown

G_ F_CK Y_RS_LF. Care to buy a vowel?-Unknown

Mary had a little lamb. I ate it with mint sauce.-Unknown

Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE!-Unknown

I would tell you to go to hell, but I work there, and I don't want to see you everyday.-Unknown

333, I'm only half-evil-Unknown

Apple: I keep the doctor away!

Banana: I make fat people slip!

Grenade: I destroy infidels!-Unknown

I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk.-Unknown

667-Neighbor of the Beast-Unknown

People think it must be fun to be smart, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots of the world.-Unknown (So, so true.)

I love math! 11=11!-Unknown (Yay for people who really suck at math!)

Kneel before Zod!-Dru-Zod, Superman series

Bombing for peace is like fcking for virginity.-Unknown

I'm a little annoying like the Black Plague was a little cough.-Nightcrawler's Shadow (You rock!)

That movie has warped my fragile little mind.-Eric Cartman, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?

I don't listen to hip-hop!-Chef, Random Army General, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison!

Hey, I'm supposed to be anonymous!-Mrs. Broflavski, Mr. Garrison, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

You Bastards!-Stan, Kyle, South Park.

"So... I see you received the free ticket I sent you. I'm glad. I did so want you to be here. You see it doesn't matter if you catch me and send me back to the asylum... Gordon's been driven mad. I've proved my point. I've demonstrated there's no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else... Only you won't admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there's some point to all this struggling! God, you make me want to puke. I mean, what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I bet. Something like that... Something like that happened to me, you know. I... I'm not exactly sure what it was. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Ha ha ha! But my point is... My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can't you? I mean, you're not unintelligent! You must see the reality of the situation. Do you know how many times we've come close to world war three over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you know what triggered the last world war? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed it's war dept creditors! Telegraph poles! Ha ha ha ha HA! It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?"
- Batman: The Killing Joke

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants. I come before you, to stand before you, to tell you a story I know nothing about. One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too."
- Emperor Joker

"A bit of advice...don't ever apologize to no one for the way you look"
- Joker Graphic Novel

"Why So Serious"
-Joker Batman The Dark Knight

Wolverine: "I know what you're thinkin', punk. Question is: 'Can I get Wolverine before he turns me into shih kabob with those claws?' Now bub, seein' that those claws are adamantium, the strongest metal known, and can slice through vanadium steel like a hot knife through butter, buddy, you gotta ask yourself: do I feel lucky?"

Wolverine: "I go where I wanna go..."

Wolverine: "Somebody wake me up from this nightmare, 'cause I've gotta be dreaming. Who do these genius spy catchers think they're dealing with? Winnie the Pooh?"

Wolverine: "Why do they always give the guns to the stupid guys?"

Wolverine: "@#ING UNICORNS!"

Wolverine: "Like my name-sake, I'm fast an' I'm mean, an' when I get mad -- people get hurt!!"

Wolverine: "A man comes at me with his fists, I'll meet him with fists. But if he pulls a gun - or threatens people I'm protectin' - then I got no sympathy for him."

Wolverine: "I am afraid to be alone with my own thoughts. I'm afraid of my own memories."

Wolverine: "Before setting out on revenge, first dig ten graves. Saves time later."

Wolverine: "I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice."

Wolverine: "You ain't seen a kill-frenzy until you've seen me get mad!"

"The Founding Fathers, in their wisdom, decided that children were an unnatural strain on parents. So they provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education." (Updike, John)

Stop, Drop, and Roll doesn't work in hell.

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. And at the worst possible moment.

Suicide is a way of telling God, "You can't fire me! I quit!"

Congratulations, you fail at life.

Sticks and stones might break my bones...but a 50 foot fall will kill ya'll!

Every piece of paper has two sides...unless you use magic marker. Then you're screwed.

I use to have super powers, but then my therapists took them away.

I'm not late. I'm just early for tomorrow.

I hear voices and they don't like you.

Smile: it confuses the enemy.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.

Kinda hard not to be a smartass when you're talking to dumbasses all the time.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

You look familiar. Have I threatened you before?

Huh. Sanity. What would I do with something as useless as that? Lucky for me I never had any such thing

Those that ignore history are doomed to repeat it; those who studied history are doomed to know it's repeating.

No one leaves this world a virgin, 'cause fate screws you over.

I'm only afraid of knives when you're holding them.

I'm too tired to tell the truth.

I'm up, I'm dressed, what more do you want?

I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard; be evil.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all shut the hell up.

I have ADD, Attention Def-OMG! It's a butterfly!

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand

Of course violence isn't the answer. 'Violence' is the question and 'yes' is the answer

Tell me your sob story... I need a good laugh.

That which doesn't kill you... Will probably try again

Sorry, no assholes allowed

Sometimes it's not a good idea to question your friend, just help them dump the body in the river and walk away

If carrots were drugged, bunnies would be fucked up

I didn't move up the fuckin' food chain to eat god damn carrots, so shut the fuck up, vegatarians!

Fuck politics, I just wanna burn shit down.

You say "weird" like it's a bad thing.

I'm so hot, I make fire Stop, Drop, and Roll.

Pardon me, but you've mistaken me for someone who actually gives a damn.

I'm sorry, they had to remove part of my soul to make room for more sarcasm.

What drugs are you on? And can I have some?

You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me and not you.

Just smile and wave.

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Warning: Survivors will be shot again

Always forgive your enemies... Nothing annoys them so much.

If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see the world lasting another 100 years.

If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

I want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.

Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and yell, "Storms suck!"

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

How can I miss you if you don't go away?

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Tell the truth and run.

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public, and people still love us!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head.

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"

I’ve got problem for your solution…

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

"When all else fails blow shit up."

"I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly"

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again"

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

Don't take it personally... but you smell like an ice cube

"Heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over."

"God made man, and then he said, 'I can do better than that,' and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"Man must wait long time with mouth open for roast duck to fly in." - ancient Chinese proverb

Dealing with television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."- Eric Sevareid

“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it." –Unknown

"Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" –Unknown

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." –Unknown

"That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook

"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." Herm Albright

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown

“He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

"Americans worship money. I have been looking for God all my life, and He is right in my pocket." -Chris Rock

Firefighter: At one point, we decided to fight fire with fire... Well... basically... your house burned even faster.

Don't own, originally from Raptor-Chick and Hazel-Star.

1. Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard above note.

7. Perform numbers 1 to 4. Note expressions.

8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9. Floor is slippery when wet.

10. Lake is slippery when dry.

11. Only talk to strangers you know.

12. Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13. For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15. Kill them for security purposes.

16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18. The men in white coats are not your friends.

19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24. Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25. Train army of flying monkeys.

26. Goldfish don't like milk.

27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28. Find out who invented the word "pianoist".

29. People are staring at you.

30. So act insane.

31. People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32. Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36. Never pet a wild dog.

37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38. Naked men dig parkas.

39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40. You know what would look good on you?

41. Immolated cockroaches.

42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43. The size of Danny DeVito.

44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. OO

45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46. Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49. That way is rum.

50. Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

52. You cannot kill the snow.

53. The snow can kill you.

54. Grass can also kill you.

55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57. HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61. Pretend to be so around the n00bs.

62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64. Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65. Remember to kill HIM...

66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69. Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70. Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

71. Eat the evidence.

72. But not if it's broken glass.

73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75. Disregard last note.

76. Note reactions.

77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78. Stock up on ball point pens.

79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81. Do not stick fingers into blender.

82. Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83. Blood loss is bad.

84. Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86. Answer every question with a question.

87. Ask people what gender they are.

88. Note reactions.

89. Refer to people as "mortal".

90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94. Kill them.

95. Brutally.

96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97. Dunk head in boiling water.

98. Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself, you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room, you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You have strange nicknames and can tell a detailed story about how you got them.

You tell stories in your head, as if you're writing it down.

When someone asks you something about a book or its characters, you go off on a half-hour tangent about a plot-bunny that came into your head about said character/book.

You already know who your first book is going to be dedicated to.

When someone asks you what you want to be when you get older, there's no hesitation when you automatically reply, "a novelist."

You get sidetracked easily and often break off mid-conversation to talk about something else, but can sit and read/write for hours on end, no matter how much chaos is happening around you.

You don't want kids, because they would take away from your reading/writing time.

You put off homework/going to work so that you can finish reading/writing a story.

You talk about WWII/Nazis in class and start thinking about Grammar Nazis and how much you hate them.

Computer Related Random Things

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features. windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
Runtime error 6D at 417A:32CF: incompetent user.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

If you think that writing fanfics are fun, put this in your profile!

If you're a slash fan, copy and paste this to your profile.

I've got a little thing to say to all my friends:
If you cry, I cry...
If you laugh, I laugh...
If you fight, I fight...
If you jump off a cliff...I'm gonna miss your retarded ass...

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

This, the thing below, will guide you through life.

A Good and Best Friend:

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend has a long, normal conversation with you. A best friend has a pointless conversation with you that lasts all night and still has you laughing the next day.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

15 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Wal-Mart

1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!" and push them behind a shelf

2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one.

3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" once the cashier tells you the price

4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"

5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!THEY'RE BACK!!"

6-start a fish stick fight

7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!"

8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!"

9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do

10-slip a bra and a lacey pink thong into a really macho-looking man's cart (just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him)

11-attempt to fly off a high shelf

12-throw confetti on random people walking into the store

13-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line

14-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section

15-walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8..

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. (I have proven this)

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (well no shit Sherlock!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a cup of noodles: "WARNING: product may be hot when ready" (Apparently we use ice cubes to cook noodles nowadays.)

A newspaper headline read: FIVE MEN DO THE WORST THING EVER. And then there was nothing more on the subject but a picture of a jail. Anyone else curious what the 'worst thing ever' is?

A computer packaging label read "WARNING! Contents are liable to overload. HANLDLE WITH CAUTION!". Don't computers need to be plugged in to overload in the first place?

On a package of sesame seed burger buns: "NOTE: ingesting sesame seeds will not cause sesame plants to grow in your stomach". Do I even need to say ANYTHING after that?

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is an cat

this is idiot cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

My name is Sarah, I am but three. My eyes are swollen, I can not see,

I must be stupid, I must be bad. What else could of made my daddy so mad?

I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly. Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me

I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong or else I'm locked up all the day long

When I awake I'm alone, the house is dark; my folks aren't home

When my mommy does come, I'll try and be nice; so maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight

Don't make a sound! I just heard a car. My daddy is back, from Charlie's Bar

I hear him curse, my name he calls. I press myself against the wall.

I try and hide from his evil eyes. I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping, he shouts ugly words. He says its my fault he suffers at work

He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more. I finally get free and run for the door

He's already locked it, I start to bawl. He takes me and throws me against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken. And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken

"I'm sorry" I scream, but now its much too late. His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain, again and again. Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops, and heads for the door, while I lay there motionless, sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah, I am but three.

Tonight my daddy murdered me.

Stop child abuse! It's wrong.

If you like being different and don't care what those jerks at school say put this on your profile and add your name below: Shadow Kitty 22, -Gasp- Dead Deer, Nightcrawler's Shadow, Eve-the-Charlotte,

Lunar Chasmodai's Eleven Commandments of Fanfiction (subject to alteration)

1) Worship thy Spell Check and thy Grammar Check, for they are thy Lord and Master.

2) Typing fanfiction in pink underwear is okay.

3) If there is no plot, that's okay. If there is no porn, that's okay. If there's no porn and no plot...

4) Thou shalt not speak ill of Pairings, merely leave That Place and never return.

5) Thou shalt not regularly use Numb3rs in thy Text, for it is Tacky.

6) Thou shalt neither enable the Bad Writers nor Flame them, merely attempt to help them become better.

7) Thou shalt not create Mary Sues, for They will bring Downfall to the Fandom.

8) Thou shalt avoid the use of Otaku Wapanese at all costs unless absolutely necessary. That is to say, Most Holy Satire.

9) Thou must make attempts to befriend other Writers in the Community.

10) Leave Reviews. Reply to Reviews. Always.

11) Write as you want, not as others want you to write.

The above is truth. Obey it, fool, so commands Mr. T!

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! ftw?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

Fun Things To Do In An ELEVATOR!

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Even when you can’t see him God is there! If you believe in God, copy/paste this into your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY WHEN...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or MySpace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Please repost this if you will.

Copy and Paste:

Be Against Abortion!

Month One

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’ arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

A life is a life

born or unborn

perfect or imperfect

blind or not blind

deaf or able to hear

young or old

God didn't give it to us just to get

rid of it ourselves by

murder or abortion

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks.
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies.
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly.
7. Our magazines have horoscopes.
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around.
5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm.
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lie around eating chocolate all day.
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have.
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE!
You know you're in Sirius Denial too love. 'No' you say? Well, that's why it's called Denial. Copy and Paste if you're not in Denial about being in Sirius Denial!

Interesting Poem

If all the world were apple pie,

And all the seas were ink,

And all the trees were bread and cheese,

What should we have for drink?

"Well-then-what-are-we-gonna-do-Smarty-Pants?"-Pietro, Of Second Shots and Summer Plots, by Mrs. Jean Grey-Summers

"I am legend."-Most awesome book quote ever.

"Ugh, goddamnit! Your mom!"

"What?"

"Stupid website won't let me find an awesome Harry Potter story!"

"What's it about?"

"Harry turning evil and raping-"

"OMG! Evil computer! DIE!!"-this is a conversation between one of my friends and I, me being the one trying to find the story and my friend ending up to try to destroy the computer I was using. Maybe this is why my friends don't read HP fanfiction.

Girls don’t realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
that I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
that my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
that I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
that I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
that I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
that I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
that I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
if I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
if I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize... I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
if you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
for not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
that you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
that I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
that I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there are never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes that mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'.

(\ _ /)
(O.x )
( oo )o
UU

This is Mr. Bunny. Isn't he the cutest?
Copy Mr. Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination, and then come over to the dark side.
(P.S. - We have muffins! Oh, what's that red, gooey stuff leaking out of them, you say? Um...uh...it’s...cooking oil! Yeah, uh, cooking oil...)

If you plan to be one of the best writers in the world some day, and know you can do it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you constantly forget what you're about to say and are about to say, and I mean CONSTANTLY, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you DON'T check under your bed for monsters, but you DO check behind your shower curtain for monsters/ murderers/ Michael Jackson, copy and paste this on your profile. I do.

93 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this on your profile if you are part of the 7 percent that would be LAUGHING THEIR BUTT OFF!

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc. BookWormBandGeek, chocoholic123, beautyfrompain,Eve-the-Charlotte.

If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this on your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had NOTHING to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Did you know that electronic Elmos are just evil hobgoblin spirits in disguise?

Did you know that Disney World is just a human trap run by a mouse, and that one day that mouse, that happens to go by the name of Mickey, will one day trap us all with a free ticket day and then take over the world with his other animated cartoon friends?

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(Ooh, goody! It's the shoplifter's special!

Shadow's and Knight's Theory on the creation of dodge ball: We believe that in places like Rome or maybe Greece, they would put criminals in stadiums and then throw rocks at them. So our guess is Dodge ball derives from stoning people to death. Do you agree? Yes.

Where am I? - Paula Abdul

"If I'd had a normal life, I'd quite cheerfully go mad and fall over right now. But as I've lead an utterly ridiculous life, I'd have to say that we're apparently surrounded by alternate timeline versions of ourselves." (Nightcrawler, Excalibur #103)

Kurt: "I'll agree to you staying on the team. But if you ever-"
Brian: "EVER."
Kurt: "Hurt Kitty-"
Brian: "I will without hesitation tear your head off."
Kurt: "And I will spend days mocking it and drawing pictures all over it before teleporting it into the North Sea."
Pete: "Well, the urge to go to the little boys’ room has now left me."
(Excalibur 91)

Remember there's a light at the end of every tunnel; just make sure it’s not a train. - Unknown.

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY! - Unknown

I'm the girl who will burst out laughing in a dead silent room because of something that happened yesterday! - Unknown

If you can't be cool, be feared...my Mama always used to tell me that. - Toad (X Men: Evolution)

We humans fear the beast within the wolf because we do not understand the beast within ourselves. - Gerald Hausman

If music is the food of love...play on. - William Shakespeare

You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same. - Unknown

Men aren't worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry. - Unknown

The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes. - Unknown

Vertical - So vertical there is no horizontal. - Unknown

I am a pink flamingo on the great lawn of life. - Unknown

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." - Unknown.

"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or you suck.” - Unknown

"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated" - unknown

"Sometimes you need to be strong
for a friend
for your family
or for yourself...
And other times its okay to cry."- Unknown

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."- Unknown

"We may not make good decisions but hell, we make good stories."- Unknown

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "- Bill Gates

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "- unknown

"Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make good exercise."- Unknown

"Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs.” - Unknown

"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."- Unknown

"I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells."- Unknown

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."- Albert Einstein

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."- Unknown

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."- Unknown (Hell yeah!)

"Never memorize something that you can look up."- Unknown

"Your a good friend and all, but if the zombies come- I’m SO tripping you" -unknown

"Books never hurt anyone until you get hit by one" - kenshinlover13

Writing and playing Sims is just another way of saying you like playing God. -Nightcrawler's Shadow (Pretty much, yeah)

My father always used to say that, when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
-Lee Iacocca

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. - Unknown

It is curious—curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
-Mark Twain

Strength and courage aren't always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles they overcome. The strongest people aren't always the people who win, but the people who don't give up when they lose. - Ashley Hodgeson

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
-Leo F. Buscaglia quotes

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. -Dale Carnegie

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." - Milton Berle

It's not that you’re not supposed to live, you’re just supposed to be evil!" - Unknown

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives you apples, get pissed, throw a fit and demand that you get lemons instead." - Unknown

"What you've just said is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point were you even close to something that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it." - Billy Madison (How I feel in school, sometimes)

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned! - Chickens Everywhere

I don't wait for windows of opportunity, I just destroy the walls. -Nightcrawler's Shadow

Tough times never last, but tough people do. - Robert H. Schuller

Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to! Mine's going to say: Phoebe Buffay, buried alive. - Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffay on FRIENDS

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. - Kurt Cobain

No one grows up. They just learn how to act in public. - Unknown

If I had no sense of humour then I would have committed suicide long ago - Mahatma
Ghandi

Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. - unknown

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them. - unknown

Some people say 'if you can't beat them, join them'. I say 'If you can't beat them, beat them', because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise - unknown

If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun. - Unknown

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them- unknown

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. - Unknown

There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives. - Unknown

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. - Unknown

That news traveled faster than heroin through an addict’s veins. - unknown

This is Latin 101. I reserve the right to overload your tiny little brain at my own discretion." Prof. Carolin Hardin, U of L

Don’t make me get my flying monkeys!”-unknown

Racism is wrong and never fails to destroy people in the long run. We are all children of God and in that aspect we are the same, even if we look different. If you are against racism, copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc., copy this into your profile. Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal electrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! Now copy this into your freaking' profile!

If George W. Bush is getting on your nerves for various reasons, copy and paste this into your profile. (And he isn't even President any more!)

Every time someone makes a salad, dozens of harmless vegetables lose their lives. So save a life, eat a hamburger!

If you really dislike homophobes saying that yaoi and yuri are unholy and that we're all going to hell, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think plagiarism is a stupid, pointless crime, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list: PhantomInvader, Nightcrawler's Shadow, Eve-the-Charlotte,

If you realize that this ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you don't believe this statistic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or the Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know the difference between "its" and "it's", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid and obvious question, copy and past this into your profile

If you've ever answered a rhetorical question, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull, or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile

Too many people have died because of other's "needs" of fame and fortune. If you care, copy and paste this into your profile

I want child abuse to stop. If you do too, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a "yeah whatever..."moment, copy and past this into your profile

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. SlightlyBroken (come on someone else has to have done this before too), Katerina, Gaara ish my sexeh beast, SlytherinXprincessX16, XxSandVillageGirlxX, LinkFangirl01, Nightcrawler's Shadow, Eve-the-Charlotte,

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in X Men (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you fill up the tab separators in your binders with doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other X Men related thing you can think of about X Men or the X Men characters. Crazy is when you can open up an X Men comic and know exactly which part you're at by reading one bubble. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you have OKD (Obsessive Kurt Disorder). Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!” Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you laugh at someone doing an ordinary thing like combing their hair. Crazy is when you can write a very thick biography about your favorite X-men character. Crazy is when you randomly shout out CHOCOLATE just to make your friend laugh. Crazy is when you sing the Muffin Song for an hour straight. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

The Muffin Song:

Oooohhhhhh!!

Evil muffins

Demon muffins

Happy muffins

Sucky muffins

Crappy muffins

Scary muffins

Preppy muffins

SUPER MUFFINS!!

Hard muffins

Soft muffins

Cheesy muffins

Icy-chill muffins

Gooooood muffins

Baaaaaad muffins

Hairy muffins

Fairy muffins

BIG MUFFINS

Talking muffins

Walking muffins

Stalking muffins

Clocking muffins

ALIEN MUFFINS

Very BERRY CHERRY MERRILY MARRIED MUFFINS!!

Hopping muffins

Popping muffins

Omelet muffins

Stuffy Snappy Whoppy Muffins

CRAZY MUFFINS

Muffled muffins

MUTANT PLOT MUFFINS!!

Corrupted muffins

Coolio muffins

Crazy Undercover Detective Muffins

Vampire muffins that like to suck the blood out of the human muffins!

Awesome muffins

Boring muffins

Creepy muffins

Dirty muffins

Slomping muffins that also like to stomp!

Unwillingly frozen muffins

Suicidal muffins

Speeding muffins

Police Officer muffins that give the speeding muffins tickets!

FLAMING MUFFINS

Vampire muffins

TIME-TRAVELING MUFFINS!

The Muffin Song is by Sarcastic Ninja, who owns all rights to it. I just like it!

If you wish Miley would quit Disney, dump the blond wig, and get with a real record label, put this on your profile.

Once upon a time there was a girl who was beautiful, smart, strong, and perfect in every way. She went on Total Drama Island and was friends with everyone but Heather and Courtney, because they're bitchez. Duncan fell in love with her, and they're SOULMATES!! If you hate the Mary-Sue TDI fangirls, and all they're awful fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Noah is in the closet, paste this to your profile

If you think Geoff is ruining (or will ruin) Bridgette's life by making out with her so much, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate immature Mary-Sue fangirls, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you can't understand what's so special about GwenxTrent, copy and paste this onto your profile, and hope GxT fans don't kill you.

If you think the producers forgot about LindsayxTyler being canon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Sadie needs to put more clothes on, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love GwenxGeoff, put this on your profile. If you don't, watch "Trial By Tri-Armed Triathalon" again.

If you watched an episode of TDI (season 1) with Bridgette, and are freaking amazed how much Geoff has changed her, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in God, paste this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus, paste this into your profile.

If you're Anti-Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you now believe in were leopards, copy and paste this onto your profile.

"If the multitude of mankind knew of my existence, they would do as you do, and arm themselves to for my destruction. Shall I not then hate them who abhor me? I will keep no terms with my enemies. I am miserable, and they shall share my wretchedness."Frankenstein's Creature

"If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key."The Grinch

"My dreams were all my own; I accounted for them to nobody; they were my refuge when annoyed - my dearest pleasure when free."Mary Shelley

"People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy... and I keep it in a jar on my desk."Stephen King

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."Edgar Allan Poe

"I like to deal with EVERY aspect of our condition, and that means terror and humor in equal mix. Some books have more room for humor than others."Dean Koontz

"Though she be but little she is fierce."William Shakespeare

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”Dr. Seuss

"Who, Me? Why I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're...”meline"...”key lime"...”turpentine". I got nothing! I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people!"The Cat in the Hat

"This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no.""Rorschach

"Did someone say chimichanga? Never mind. That was just the sound of my skull and brains healing."Deadpool

"I really like to mess with Disney. Seriously, slashing it up is fun and pairing Jim Hawkins with Ariel, Ling with Mulan, and LeFou with Belle? Classic." -Me!

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was

born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When

I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you

go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

It happened just last week.

I was walking home from a friend’s house. I’ll admit it was late. I could have called my dad for a ride, but I only lived five minutes away.

As I came to the road, I looked both ways and saw nothing. I stepped forward.

I hadn’t taken more than two steps when a blinding light came rushing towards me. I was stuck. I couldn’t move. It was as though I had been glued to the road. The last thing I saw was the man driving. His eyes were bloodshot, tired…and in his hand was a bottle of beer.

And then...

...it hit.

Now, I lay in a hospital bed.

My back, legs and wrists are broken, as are several ribs.

My lung is punctured, it’s hard to breathe.

There is a large gash down one arm.

I’ve lost so much blood.

I always feel weak, tired.

I need help to eat.

I’m always in pain.

There are several tubes attached to my arms and chest.

I have several bandages and plasters.

I am hooked on a life support machine.

I’m glad they’re going to do it. My family knows the pain I’m in. They visit me everyday.

After school,

After work,

They’ll come to my side.

I’m grateful to them. They give me company, made the pain more bearable, but they know that I have no hope. I have had too much damage. Without the machine my heart will cease and my lungs will stop working.

Tomorrow...

...they’re going to pull the plug.

I know that I will die.

I know that I’m a hopeless case.

I know...

And accept it.

I lay gazing at the plain, white ceiling of the hospital ward, knowing it may be the last thing I ever see.

Copy and paste this if you hate alcohol and especially if you are against drinking and driving.

Now, on a lighter note, more quotes:

Reese’s Pieces, Coco Puff, mess with me; I’ll fuck you up.

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

A good friend will say, "If you fall, I'll help you up." A best friend will say, "If you fall, I'm going to laugh so hard."

A good friend will call you on your birthday and wish you the best. A best friend will call and say, "You will die in seven days."

A friend will visit you if you're in jail. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the cell sitting next to you and say, "Dude! That was AWESOME! Let's do that again!"

If practice makes perfect and no one's perfect, why practice?

I called your brother gay and he hit me with his purse!

I'm nobody. Nobody's perfect; therefore, I'm perfect.

Saw it. Wanted it. Threw a fit. Got it.

You remind me of my husband except you're not buried in the backyard.

That's "Queen Bitch" to you.

There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

The statistics on insanity are that 1 of every 4 people has some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends; if they're okay, then it's you.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid

If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Here is where you are

There is where you want to be

But you can't get there from here

Various Forms of Capitalism, with a New Cow Model:

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

Homer Simpson Quotes

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle - they're on TV!

Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

Lisa, vampires are make believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Save me, Jeebus!

Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

I don't hate your mother, I just won't be sad when she dies.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain - remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You’re making a scene'.

I'm a 'Spalding Gray' in a 'Rick Dees' world.

Donut...is there anything they can't do?

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything!

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!

You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on every car!

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

It's like something out of that "twilighty" show about that zone.

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man - which makes me the woman; and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which (as we discussed) is strictly a comfort thing.

Whenever Marge turns on one of her "non-violent" programs, I take a walk. I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for love...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

Without our immigrants, who will kick our field goals, or train our white tigers?

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure...not even close!

Beer - now THERE'S a temporary solution.

How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing - did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze.

Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!

Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson.'

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight!

Apu, you got any Skittle Brau? Never mind, just give me some Duff and a pack of Skittles.

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Extended warranty? How can I lose?

Mmmmmm - 52 slices of American cheese.

Hey, I asked for ketchup - I'm eatin' salad here!

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, you know like that movie... "Spaceballs". But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie "Police Academy".

I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

Son, when you participate in sporting events - it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

God bless those pagans.

Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

With 10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

Woo hoo! 350 dollars! Now I can buy 70 transcripts of Nightline!

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14 of people know that.

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

I hope I didn't brain my damage!

Nuts and gum, together at last!

We'll die together, like a father and son should.

Let us celebrate this agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

We're gonna get a new TV. Twenty-one inch screen, realistic flesh tones, and a little cart so we can wheel it into the dining room on holidays!

First you don't want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer.

Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.

Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun!

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

Oh, they have Internet on computers now.

Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out.

Books are useless: I only ever read one book, "To Kill a Mockingbird" - and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does THAT do me?

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T.

I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. See ya soon!

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres

My mom was a ventriloquist & she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. Wendy Leibman

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? Warren Hutcherson

You can get every other flavor except coffee-flavored coffee! They got mochaccino; they got chocaccino, frappaccino, rappaccino, Al Pacino, what the fuck?! Denis Leary

“Obstruction of justice? No sir, we prefer to think of it ‘avoiding complications’.”

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

The universe is laughing behind your back.

Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.

I'm not crazy; my reality is just different than yours.

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

If you plugged your nose and your mouth while you sneezed, would it come out of your ears or would your head explode?

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What you do on your own time's just fine. My imagination's much worse; I just never want to know.

Patrick: I'm mad. Spongebob: Why's that? Patrick: I can't see my forehead.

I was wondering why Frisbees got bigger as they got closer then it hit me.

Limiting the freedom of news 'just a little bit' is in the same category with the classic example a little bit pregnant.

I didn't vote and I didn't die! Fuck you P. Diddy!

We could all take a lesson from crayons: Some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors; but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

Intelligence is like a river. The deeper it is, the less noise it makes.

Homework is a perpetual cycle of boredom, yet I find it entertaining to finish it at the last moment

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

Did you know that when someone annoys you, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, but it only takes four muscles to extend your arm out and smack'em in the head?

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Rodney Dangerfield

Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

I am the person who has lost the best, most understanding friend I ever had because her parents found out I was bi. (True story, added by BC)

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Don't go around saying that the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'it’s because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!!

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEes?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?
I doNt.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.),Phish Tacko (Marty McFly, Klaus Baudelaire, Alex P. Keaton) Sugary Snicket (Danny Phantom/Fenton in my early FFN days, Durza, Dexter Morgan, Sirrus) FanofSnicket (Klaus Bauldalaire!!) Incy Little Spider (Randall off monsters inc.), Beastchicky (beast boy, Beetlejuice, jack spicer, toad (x-men evo), Nightcrawler, quicksilver, Lenny (shark tale), Ssnake, Scarlett (Hero), Reid (Criminal minds), the list goes on), Eve-the-Charlotte (Pyro, Wither, Elongated Man, Interia, Shiv, Jacob Black, Ferret, Fred & Geroge Weasley, Sylar, Mohinder Suresh, Merlin, Arthur Pendragon, Gambit, Forge, Toad, Steve "Leopard", Jimmy Osgood, the list goes on even longer. . . .)

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "FUUUUDGE!", "CHEEESE!" “PUDDING!” or any variation thereof, put this in your profile.

If you listen to and talk back to the voices in your head and find nothing wrong with it because you know they're there, put this in your profile.

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile

If you think homophobia is wrong copy and paste this into your profile

If you think your house is haunted, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Being unique is thinking outside the box, reading between the lines, coloring out of pictures, dancing to the tune of your own drummer, and having a heck of a better time than other people. If you're unique, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

''Of course women have a higher tolerance for pain. We have to deal with men.

As we grow up, we learn that the one person that wasn’t supposed to let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame your new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt, because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Find someone who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on them; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the one who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats; who holds your hand in front of their friends. Wait for the one who turns to their friends and says “That’s her.”

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No.
G: Do you like me?
B: Not really.
G: Do you want me?
B: No.
G: Would you cry if I left?
B: No.
G: Would you live for me?
B: No.
G: Would you do anything for me?
B: No.
G: Choose—me or your life.
B: My life.
The girl runs away in shock and pain. The boy runs after her and says...
B: The reason you never cross my mind is because you’re always on my mind. The reason why I don’t like you is because I love you. The reason I don’t want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn’t cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn’t live for you is because I would die for you. The reason I’m not willing to do anything for you is because I’m willing do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

Hate Emos?
Read this:
Isn’t it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends
you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs
but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a t-shirt that barely covers anything?
Isn’t it funny that you can change your music taste to impress a guy
ISN’T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta
But the emo gets a mouthful from everyone
Are you laughing?
Isn’t it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week
But gets more sht from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?
Isn’t it funny that you don’t mind your friends drinking,
or smoking
but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on being melodramatic
Teenage outcasts?
I’m not laughing
Its so funny that you and your friends can make a girls life hll
And not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting
Isn’t it funny that you can call Emos, punks, Goths the retards
How you can call a girl poser, how can you cay “you’re not emo”
Or “attention seeker”
Without spending a second trying to figure out why there are cuts on her wrists
And why she spends her lunchtimes crying , instead of laughing with her friends
Keep on laughing
Isn’t it funny you can say and do all this without having any idea what’s going on in this persons
Life Without knowing her situation with her friends
Or her family
Or her LIFE
Brave isn’t going up on stage and stripping
Or doing a speech
Or dumping your boyfriend
Brave is
Going to school on a mufti day and not for a second care what
It’s listening to your own music and being proud of it
It’s going through every day with the things people say to your face
And behind your back and you keep quiet
It’s knowing what your “friends” are saying about you, and still calling them your friends
Brave is knowing that tomorrow isn’t a bright and happy future
It’s another day of bitching and dodging rumours
Keep on laughing

If Superman's the world's biggest boyscout, why is Batman always the one who comes prepared?

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Hospital.

Please select from the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and
6.

If you believe you’ve been possessed, press 6 three times.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy ayway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press
9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy
forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll
just mess it up.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

"Russia is... a riddle, wrapped up in a mystery, inside an enigma." - Winston Churchill

"You lack hatred." - Itachi - Naruto

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night." - Otto von Bismarck

"The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out the window." - Robert Paul

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

RUSSIA(IVAN BRAGINSKY): MY ANTI-DRUG. Because All will become One with Russia.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

Recent studies show that 70 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 30 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

A Psychology Major's Prayer
By: Tino Väinämöinen

Dear God, why am I on this bike?
Because your presence is everywhere,
I know you saw that red light.
But I don't think Berwald did.
Please, Lord, adjust his mirrors.
I don't think he thinks he needs them.
But I know he does.
There's a semi behind us.
Oh God,
in your unending mercy,
I know you love all living things.
So when we crash and burn and become greasy spots on this freeway,
please let me die instantly.

Amen.

-Tino (Finland), Hetalia: Axis Powers fanfic "Treatment"

If you love God with all your heart, and are not afraid to tell the world. and are 100 percent proud of it. copy this into your profile.

Jesus:

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

And now, on a different note. . .

North Italy (Vargas Feliciano)

() You were bullied a lot in your childhood
(X) You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit.
() You're very happy-go-lucky
(X) You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies
(X) You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up
(X) You're a good artist
(X)You can be clumsy
(X) You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something
(X) If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!"
(X) You would surrender in a war situation

(8/10) for North Italy

South Italy (Lovino/Romano Vargas)

(X) You love tomatoes
(X) You tend to say "goddamn" and "bastard" to everyone, a lot (under my breath. . .)
(X) You tend to get irritated easily
(X) You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick out
() You hate French people
() You rely on people too much
(X) You would surrender in a war situation
(X) You often feel like people are after your inheritance
(X) You are lazy at times, and you are horrible at cleaning

(8/10) for South Italy



Germany (Ludwig)

() You're very stoic and serious
() Sausages are your favourite foods.
() You like to walk dogs/your dog
(X) Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case.
()You love rules and think they should always be followed to a T (Love to bend them!)
(X) You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules
(X)You work very hard, too hard...
(X) Your alone time is your 'happy time'
(X) You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people
(X) You've had issues with money once or twice

(6/10) for Germany

Japan (Kiku Honda)

(X) You're very mature
(X)You think everything over before saying it.
(X) You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one
(X) You isolated yourself during childhood
(X) You became very successful in a short amount of time
() You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world
(X) You can seem cold/aloof to other people
(X) You're good at practical tasks
(X) You need time to adjust to new people

(9/10) for Japan

The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones)

(X) You love hamburgers
(X) You think you're awesome (Of course, I am!)
(X) You love to invent things
(X) You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films
()You can seem to be very brash to other people
(X) You have a tendency to stick your nose into other peoples' business
() You're terrified of ghosts
(X) You know aliens exist
() You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time
(X) You wear glasses

(7/10) for America

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland)

() You like tea
(X) You were quite tough and troublesome as a kid
(X)You're very sarcastic and cynical
(X) Your cooking is awful
(X) You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts...
()...But you refuse to believe in aliens.
() You have tried doing black magic before
() You get drunk quite easily.
() When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy
() You're good at embroidery

(4/10) for UK

France (Francis Bonnefoy)

(X) You're very affectionate (to family and friends. . .)
(X) You think you have a great fashion sense (No, I’m not color-blind, I swear!)
() You like wine
(X) You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears
(X) You love red roses
() When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women
(X) You're very proud of yourself
(X) You love culture and the arts
() You're very flamboyant
(X) You say you're a gourmet

(7/10) for France

Russia (Ivan Braginsky)

() You had a very sad childhood.
() You're very tall
(X) You have a tendency to switch between personalities
() You wear a scarf all the time
(X) You love sunflowers
()You love vodka
(X) You can seem intimidating to other people
(X) You're very strong
() You have a big nose
(X) You have a strange laugh that can scare people (It’s very I’ll-get-you-my-pretty-esque sometimes.)

(5/10) for Russia

China (Wang Yao)

(X) You're very mature
(X) You're very superstitious
(X) You're very religious
(X) You love pandas
() You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes
(X) You love Hello Kitty
(X) You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously.
(X) You work hard
(X) You're good at drawing
(X) You like sweets

(9/10) for China

Austria (Roderich Edelstein)

(X) You are very well-raised
(X) You're polite
(X) You love classical music
(X) You like cake
() You have a mole on your face
(X) You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away
() You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument (X) You've composed music before
(X) You tend to call people 'morons'
(X) You wear glasses

(8/10) for Austria

Canada (Matthew Williams)

(X) You're often ignored by people
() You look younger than you actually are
(X) You love hockey
(X) You love polar bears
(X) You hate fighting
(X)You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy
(X) You often get mistaken for someone else
(X) You feel under-appreciated
() You're bilingual
(X) You always carry a bear with you

(8/10) for Canada

Cuba

() You smoke
(X) You're very physically strong
() You've won a lot of fist-fights
(X) In your social circle, there are two brothers - you get along with one, but not with the other.
(X) You have very strong emotions about a variety of topics
() You like hot weather
(X) You can be very friendly from time to time
(X)You look very tough on the outside
(X) You make a very nice role-model
() You don't let people get a word in edgeways

(6/10) for Cuba

Hungary (Elizabeta Hédeváry)

(X) You have a potty-mouth (What the %&%$ are yo talking about you &% go %& with your *&% mom in a castle so *&* far away no one can hear you &%& mickey mouse &%%!)
()You like to wear flowers in your hair
(X) You used to be a very tough kid
(X) You're very reliable
(X) It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy
(X) You're very faithful
(X) Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike
(X) You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese.
(X) You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next
(X) If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it. (Where, where is it!?)

(9/10) for Hungary

Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt)

() You're quite mean-spirited
() You're a bit of a hooligan
(X) You're very loyal
(X) You're very good at tactics
() You hate Russia
() You love to fight people
(X) You can avoid marriages quite well
(X) You're not always taken seriously
()You like drinking
(X) You want to become stronger

(5/10) for Prussia

Sweden (Berwald Oxenstierna)

(X) You wear glasses
(X) You always have on a scary, stoic expression
() You mumble everything you say
(X) You're silent and don't speak much
(X) You make furniture and art
() You are tall
(X) You were once a Viking! (I swear I was in another life!)
() You have canned Surströmming that can be used as a weapon
(X) You take interest in arguments and debates
() You bought a kid who sold himself online (I have no moneys. . .)

(6/10) for Sweden

I’m Chinese, Japanese, and Hungarian! Woo-hoo! If you think this is a fun little quiz, copy and paste, peoples!

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research." -Unknown

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." -Unknown

"Pride in oneself is not necessarily egotism if it is justified and tempered with due humanity." -Unknown

Now I know how far you'd go

To be the next freak show,

American psycho!

-American Psycho, Treble Charger

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

More Than Acceptable by ohamandalynn reviews
When a transporter mishap leaves Spock with two more appendages than he originally had, he is left with an awful headache as Scotty and Chekov are busy figuring out how to rectify the situation. With alien guidance, Jim tries to alleviate the pain. Slash
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,604 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Spock, J. Kirk - Complete
Trials and Tribulations of a Teutonic Lover by GoxHaya reviews
For someone so self-centered, Prussia has a serious problem understanding his feelings. With the help of Spain and France, will Gilbert be able to get in touch with his heart? Germancest Germany x Prussia with a side of Spain x Romano
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 162,141 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 1/22/2011 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Germany, Prussia - Complete
Dear Diary by ai-08 reviews
Alfred F. Jones isn't gay. Just read his diary; you'll see. AU, Alfred/Ivan among others. RE-UPLOADED AND COMPLETE :
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 55,132 - Reviews: 857 - Favs: 847 - Follows: 279 - Updated: 12/24/2010 - Published: 1/13/2010 - America, Russia - Complete
Flashlight by 0ptimuspenguin reviews
AU. "If I throw a tomato at you, vampire bastard, will you still sparkle under the sauce?" Spamano
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,244 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 10/29/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano - Complete
Nightmares in Wawanakwa by 100TenMillion reviews
The campers have nightmares. This is NOT a supernatural fic, this fic is simply about a bad dream the campers have. One for each camper. Nightmares are going to be creepy, disgusting, 'weird', etc. Rated M because some of these nightmares are...
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 18 - Words: 7,052 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 4/11/2009
Subject: Why Don’t We Ever Do Work? by Spazzkitty reviews
A tale told in e-mail centering on various budding relationships in an office when people are SUPPOSED to be doing work. All poor Elizabeta wants is photos of it all. Rated for a lot of swearing/lewd comments. PruHun, UsUk, Spero, GerIta, KorChi, etc.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,320 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Hungary, South Korea
Heartstrings by Chibi-Ra-Chan reviews
He never wanted this. No, China never wanted to be connected by the red thread of fate, especially not to Korea who somehow tugged on his heart strings and caused him to cross so many taboo lines and boundaries to bring them together. China/Korea.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 48,450 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 7/18/2010 - Published: 12/8/2009 - China, South Korea - Complete
Treatment by Chalupakabra reviews
Tino is a young psychology major, well known for being kind and eager to help others with their issues, but less so for his habit of profiling "patients" on campus. His therapist's eye has fixed on Berwald, but will he be the one who ends up on the couch?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 55,432 - Reviews: 548 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 533 - Updated: 7/17/2010 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Sweden, Finland
Wake Up in the Morning by Rantzilla reviews
I GUESS you could call this a songfic. IDUNNO. Various pairings including USUK, Spamano, and GerIta . How I expect Hetalia characters to react to a wake-up call from one of America's most popular songs. Things could get ugly. ONE-SHOT, BY THE WAY.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 26 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Complete
My Skin by MeowChan16 reviews
AU. Alfred finds Matthew, a runaway from a human trafficking ring, and gives him a chance to live a new life. Mostly AmericaxCanada with Hungary/Prussia/Austria Love Triangle and eventual PolandxLithuania and FrUk.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 51,244 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 7/7/2010 - Published: 2/17/2010 - America, Canada - Complete
Enchanted by evilmanray reviews
AU. An old fairytale long since forgotten becomes a reality when Yao Wang, a single divorce lawyer living in New York City, finds a very lost Prince Ivan The Brave, the heir to the throne of the Soviet Union. Russia/China, Ivan/Yao.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 70,753 - Reviews: 422 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 6/29/2010 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Russia, China - Complete
Edelweiss by NikuSweets reviews
Vash and Roderich finally come together, after all these years; I can't really give it any other definition. T rating for later chapters. Finished
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,467 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Switzerland, Austria - Complete
Please Be Quiet in the Library by Canadino reviews
Romano is protective, Feliciano is lovestruck, and Ludwig just wants to figure everything out without getting fired. High school summer AU, Gertalia, suggested Sparoma
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,345 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 19 - Published: 6/21/2010 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
The Beastly Beauty by Vampire Scooby reviews
Even with his horrid personality, he was very beautiful, so people called him Beauty. When people called him this, he smacked them so hard that they forgot what ‘Beauty’ meant." Fractured Fairy Tale. Spain and Romano as Beauty and the Beast.Sparo
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,664 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/26/2010 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain - Complete
Pizza Girl by Kiki4ever reviews
AU; Complete Genderbend. "I feel in love with the pizza girl. Now I eat pizza every day...Every.Fucking.Day."
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 494 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
Anything For the Tourists by Abarero reviews
Norway sighed, and began to head towards Copenhagen. Leave it to Denmark to take it personally upon himself to stand in for the missing statue of The Little Mermaid in the harbor. DenmarkNorway
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,955 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Denmark, Norway - Complete
The Last Night by Twitter Chan and Psycho Chan reviews
Sometimes holding on is the hardest thing to do, but in the end, is always worth it.
Static Shock - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,969 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Jimmy - Complete
Ownership by Twitter Chan and Psycho Chan reviews
Shiv was always a little crazy, but he’s not the craziest person alive, and there are definitely worse people out there. In fact, he’s related to one of them. Ebon and Shiv smut in later chapters.
Static Shock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,630 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 12 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Ebon, Shiv
Friends on the Other Side by Tux mux reviews
Drabbble, Naveen POV Only in the dark reaches of Dr Facillier's Voodoo parlour can Naveen truly see what he wants most.
Princess and the Frog - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Prince Naveen, Dr. Facilier - Complete
Who Knew? by Valkyrien reviews
Remy's powers are out of his hands, control is a thing of the past and so he must reevaluate everything; his life, his mutations, and his relationship to the one person who can help him through this.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 61,386 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 6/17/2009 - Rogue/Anna Marie, Gambit/Remy L. - Complete
Hands Clean by anonymousreader07 reviews
If they could go off doing god-knows-what then why couldn't they? Nothing serious mind you, just a little...diversion. And once it was over they'd wash their hands clean of the entire ordeal.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,392 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Published: 1/27/2010 - Courtney, Trent - Complete
Individual, A Poem by Katie Tucker by VampiricAphrodite reviews
A slightly angsty poem about Katie wanting to be her own person.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Published: 1/17/2010 - Katie, Sadie - Complete
The Gap Between by McStories reviews
Pavel Chekov is just the weird kid who helps steer the ship, and Len McCoy's happy to leave it like that. When a late-night visit to sickbay forces him to see Chekov as more, it sets McCoy on a path he never would have anticipated.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 60,952 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 35 - Published: 1/17/2010 - P. Chekov, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Everything I Wanted To Have by Kitkat113227 reviews
Charlotte has always loved princesses. Femmeslash.
Princess and the Frog - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,221 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Charlotte L.B., Tiana - Complete
Because I Love You by AmyNW reviews
A short trip for Naveen and Tiana turns dangerous. One shot. Warning: angst.
Princess and the Frog - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Prince Naveen, Tiana - Complete
Demon in the River by Nightcrawler's Shadow reviews
AU. New Year's Eve brings an unexpected surprise to Katherine Pryde. Kurtty
Wolverine & the X-Men - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,352 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Nightcrawler/Kurt W., Shadowcat/Kitty - Complete
A Smile Like Yours by Jazyrha reviews
For the first time, Bruce didn't want to think of what he had lost, but what he had gained. / A Bruce x Wally Christmas Tale. / Wally was warm, warm like a fever, spreading through his whole body, making it impossible to think.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,112 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Wally W./Flash, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Seeing Red by Miren and Rhun reviews
Written for prompt 86 of the 100 themes challenge. Buford loves to get Baljeet angry. Oneshot. Buford/Baljeet slash.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,188 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Buford, Baljeet - Complete
I Feel Pretty by Chi Shiro reviews
Extreme Silly Fic. Hank gets ready for a date with the help of a few X-women. Hank/Bobby. Slash.
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,415 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Dr. H. McCoy/Beast/Hank, Robert D./Iceman
Fat Virgins by Just Funning reviews
Superman and Green Lantern are hanging out at the headquarters, reading their favorite comic Fat Virgins, which happens to be about the kind of guys who usually read about them. Kind of a role reversal kind of thing.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Clark K./Kal-El/Superman, John S./Green Lantern - Complete
Gives You Hell by Shattered Mirror01 reviews
Dr. McCoy stared down at an impatient, half-naked Pavel Chekov. 'I'm gonna go to hell for this.' McCoy/Chekov, rated M for safety.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,200 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/27/2009 - L. McCoy/Bones, P. Chekov - Complete
Pride by Leelu's skittles reviews
Will knew exactly why Dylan was angry at him. Well, he thought he did at least. Pre Slash
Yours, Mine, and Ours - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,767 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/30/2009 - Complete
The CIT, The Bear, and the Geoff by AerisSerris reviews
After her break-up with Cody, Geoff seeks to comfort Courtney. And Duncan and Izzy want to help. What will happen? Courtney/Geoff, other pairings inside!
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,312 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Courtney, Geoff - Complete
Good Morning Beautiful by Twitter Chan and Psycho Chan reviews
This all of our obsessiveness being brought together in a sweet song fiction. A couple original characters, most boy/boy love, two girl/girl love and one hetero couple…my attempt at fluff. I suck, leave me alone.
Static Shock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,270 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Published: 9/24/2009 - Complete
Interlude by Saint H reviews
What happens during Teen Titans episodes that we don't see. Check out the story that is usually covered up by commercials or just plain left out. VULGAR.
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 32,139 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/4/2009 - Published: 7/16/2005
Love Ain't Easy, It's Ezzy by The Kobold Necromancer reviews
TDA's Playa des Losers is a hotbed of drama, frustration, and hormones. Tempers and passions flare, and a new couple, Ezekiel and Izzy, is formed by the chaos. A mature Ezzy story; heed the warnings, please. Completed.
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 141,014 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Izzy, Ezekiel - Complete
Bunnies Don't Make Good Bait by anonymousreader07 reviews
A high speed chase which has long scince become out of control involving a shark, a motor boat, a dirt bike a wooden pole and all the TDI teens finding themselves in another insane predicament which we all know is bound to end in mayhem! And poor bunny!
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,965 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Complete
Association Socialistic by Novelist Pup reviews
AU: Ludwig was pretty aware that he wasn't the easiest person to get along with--unless you were his brother, his brother's friend, his brother's friend's girlfriend, etc. So, it was no wonder that he only had two friends. :Germany/Italy
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,667 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 20 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
Close to Midnight by anonymousreader07 reviews
50 sentances dedicated to an adorable blonde airhead and TDI's manipulitive gameshow-host. Chris/Lindsay
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,936 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/17/2008 - Chris M., Lindsay - Complete
Staring At The Sun by Lopaka Tanu reviews
At what point do fans become fanatics? God help the heretic. Slash JimmyClark Articles by TK.
Lois and Clark - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 30,208 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 9/27/2007 - Complete
Blue Eyes by Phoenix from the Sun reviews
Bam. After a disaster that nearly costs him his life and dream of X-Men, Bobby Drake can't get one thing off of his mind: Sam. For once in his life he puts the pain of never being good enough and give into one of God's most twisted creations: blue eyes
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,487 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Iceman/Bobby D., Cannonball/Sam G. - Complete
The Selfish Spider by otter cook reviews
Johnny Storm was a jackass and could go join Fate in the club. [JohnnyxPeter, Slash, AU, Xover with Fantastic 4]
Spider-Man - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,355 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 25 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Complete
Far Away by Phoenix from the Sun reviews
Lietro. Love is a complex emotion that came in a moment of near death. Is there ever a time and a place where you can admit your feelings to a person after being gone for so long? Songfic to Far Away by Nickelback.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,351 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/20/2007 - Avalanche/Lance A., Quicksilver/Pietro M. - Complete
Robin's Secret by Proponent of EVO reviews
Heh...a little alternate ending to 'The Quest'.
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/27/2005 - Robin - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Smile a Day reviews
Keeps the sadness away. All genres. Enjoy. . . Drabble #9: "Pretty Boy Love Drug" - Beware the Valley Girl accent.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,916 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/28/2012 - Published: 7/15/2010
My Little Brony
Basically a "Bucky comes back seemingly from the dead story" plus sexiness and funnies. M for sexiness and swearing.
Avengers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2012 - Captain America/Steve R. - Complete
Stubble reviews
or Five Aspects of Percival Ignatius Weasley that Hermione Jean Granger Loves and One Vice Versa. What it says on the tin. High T for very non-explicit things.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,065 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2012 - Percy W., Hermione G. - Complete
Knotting reviews
In which Allison is frustrated, Stiles is freaked, Scott is a freak of nature, and Derek has to sort everything out again. Crack. Disregards Season Two.
Teen Wolf - Rated: M - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,851 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/28/2012 - Allison A., Stiles - Complete
Book of Adam: Swan Song Redux reviews
An excerpt from the Winchester Gospels, as written by Chuck. This is a reading from the Book of Adam. And a word to the wise, never deprive Samuel Winchester, true Vessel of Lucifer, of his morning coffee and his archangel. That is all. High T.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,889 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/28/2012 - Adam M., Michael - Complete
Adventures in Single Motherhood reviews
"Honestly, the once again Ginevra Molly Weasley never thought when she was younger that the drying of the ink on a pile of divorce papers could ever be so satisfying." Ginny/Various Men, other pairings mentioned. High T-low M.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,859 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/16/2012 - Ginny W. - Complete
The Sun Will Shine Again
"Roberto DaCosta stared at the ceiling while the digital clock on his nightstand read three in the morning..." Roberto-centric. Pretty angst-y. Rated M for a reason, too.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,677 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Sunspot/Roberto D. C. - Complete
Dursleys' Demented reviews
Vernon and Petunia Dursley's worst nightmare is realized: Their freak of a nephew mated! A look into a possible future for the Dursleys and a certain relative of theirs. Vernon/Petunia, Ron/Harry, and minor Fred/Hermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,181 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/15/2012 - Vernon D., Petunia D. - Complete
Swingin' Seasons of the Sixties
X-Men: First Class, set to the four seasons. Includes Hank/Raven, Alex/ Sean, Shaw/Emma, and Erik/Charles. M for 'Summer.'
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/30/2011 - Complete
Homecoming Queen reviews
"It's such a shame, shame, shame. . . ." The tragic death of Kitty Pryde, as told by Kurt Wagner. M for mentions of suicide.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,539 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/30/2011 - Nightcrawler/Kurt W., Shadowcat/Katherine P./Kitty P. - Complete
Early Morning Mischief with Alex Masters reviews
In which Scott is pranked bad by Alex at two in the morning and Bobby attempts to woo his teacher. Just another early morning at the Xavier Institute.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,851 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Havok/Alex M./Alex S., Cyclops/Scott S. - Complete
Winter Joy reviews
On one cold winter's day, Ron and Harry find out something spectacular. Ron/Harry. Warnings inside.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 396 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/21/2011 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
The High Road, The Low Road reviews
In which Jubilee reaches an end to her journey. Jubilee-centric, though contains odd slash. #24 in the Witchblood universe.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/31/2011 - Jubilee/Jubilation L. - Complete
Clockwork Angel reviews
AU!APH "Run, run, as fast as you can!" In which Alfred gets himself into a situation, only to be rescued by a mysterious stranger. Russia/America. Rated high T for content and language.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 804 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/30/2011 - Russia, America - Complete
Dog Days of August reviews
A series of drabbles that are fanon and/or crack. If you are a fan of either or both, read on.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 7,735 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 6/29/2011 - Published: 1/12/2010
Sweet Dreams Are Made of These
In which Sam dreams and we get a glimspe into the slightly dysfunctional romance turned friendship of Odd and Sam. M for sexual themes.
Code Lyoko - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 395 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Odd D. - Complete
Be a Man reviews
"Neville Longbottom was a nice, calm man." Just don't mess with Luna Lovegood! Neville/Luna
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,354 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Neville L., Luna L. - Complete
The Art of Being Red
Witchblood-verse. The story behind Jean Grey's very unique hair color, whose root is in Scott Summers.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,575 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Jean Grey - Complete
Time reviews
Multi-chapter, loosely-connected mini-series story based around Time and those affected by it. Includes Norway/Japan, Scotland/England, and many more.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,116 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/1/2011 - Published: 3/9/2011 - Norway, Japan - Complete
Eat Pray Suck reviews
In which Dib contemplates the re-writing of books to make them relevant to his interests, and Zim tries to take over the world with Twilight and Death Note. ZADR. K due to lack of both swearing and sexy material. Enough fluff to rot your brains out.
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 875 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Zim, Dib - Complete
Forbidden reviews
"As such, these one hundred things are forbidden to the one such person named Alex Masters. . ." Herein lies a list of one hundred things Havok is not allowed to do. Read if you dare. . .
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,698 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Havok/Alex M./Alex S., Berzerker/Ray C. - Complete
When Men Can Fly reviews
Merlin has a vision of the future, accompanied by a startling revelation about his own secrets. slash/pre-slash Merlin/Arthur and Clark/Lex
Crossover - Smallville & Merlin - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,252 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Clark K./Superman, Merlin - Complete
The True Lord of the Lightning reviews
The 50-word drabble now infecting Static Shock. Hotstreak/Static, or Francis/Virgil if you prefer. M for sexiness and swearing.
Static Shock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,627 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Hotstreak, Virgil/Static - Complete
Tik Tok
In which alarm clocks are broken and Kesha is bashed. Various books, TV shows, anime/manga, cartoons, and pairings. Some swearing and quite a bit of slash and femslash. Mostly humorous.
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,080 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Complete
Asleep reviews
There is another world. . . There is a better world. . . Francis/Virgil, character death, whole lot of angst.
Static Shock - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 576 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Hotstreak, Virgil/Static - Complete
Sharada reviews
Crack pairing! Short Starfire/Permafrost. "Oh, how glorious a day it was!" Rated T for slight femslash and nudity.
Crossover - Static Shock & Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 267 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/9/2011 - Starfire - Complete
Cold as Ice reviews
Bobby needs a place to crash for the night, and the Brotherhood's place is available. Set in Avalanche's POV. Implied pairings. #20 in Witchblood series.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 862 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/2/2011 - Iceman/Bobby D. - Complete
Unrequited reviews
"It was truly the world's greatest tragedy, loving someone who used to love you." Sorta, but sorta not Ryou/Ichigo, with mentioned Ryou/Retasu, Pai/Retasu, and Kisshu/Ichigo. T for some language and implied stuff.
Tokyo Mew Mew - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 706 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Ryou S., Ichigo M. - Complete
The Dance reviews
"You mean you've never, ever danced before?" "Tried it once. Didn't like it." Red X/Robin. Spoilers for "Date with Destiny" episode.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,775 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/27/2010 - Red-X, Robin - Complete
Vegas Here We Are reviews
It's Christmastime! Ray/Alex, mentions others. Number 19 in the Witchblood series.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 471 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/25/2010 - Havok/Alex M./Alex S. - Complete
Prelude to the End
"Paris was beautiful at the moment, especially with the view of the Seine." Bill/Fleur & Bill/Charlie
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/22/2010 - Bill W., Charlie W. - Complete
This Feeling I'm Feeling
In which love blooms, stays strong, and does all sorts of other things. 10 pairings, 10 songs, 10 drabbles, one one-shot. M for implied sexytimes.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,615 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Complete
Next reviews
What if the Titans left and couldn't come back? Who would take their place? Rating may change.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,996 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/9/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010
Infinitesimal reviews
A look into the relationship between our favorite Jew and favorite Jew-hater, from the perspective of the outside. Kyman and minor Creek.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 427 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/8/2010 - Eric Cartman, Kyle B. - Complete
Love the Way You Lie reviews
Lies. Lies. Lies. But "the Englishman looked so lovely when he lied." England/Hong Kong; implied past USUK and past FrUK. More hurt than comfort.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 333 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Published: 10/8/2010 - England/Britain, Hong Kong - Complete
Devil in Disguise reviews
"I, the devil in disguise." Remy-centric. #18 in Witchblood series.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/30/2010 - Gambit/Remy L. - Complete
Ma Chérie Anna Marie reviews
ROMY. In which Remy E. LeBeau finally gets the girl. He also sets the Mansion's kitchen on fire, ticks off Wolverine, and interrupts some poor couple's date. But, hey, who's counting that?
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/19/2010 - Gambit/Remy L., Rogue/Anna Marie - Complete
Butterfly, Sugar, Baby reviews
Inspired by "Butterfly" by Crazy Town. Denmark/Iceland. Enjoy.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,209 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Published: 9/12/2010 - Denmark, Iceland - Complete
Le Finale de la Forge
Number seventeen in the Witchblood series. Forge's life ten years into the future. Warning: Not for happy people.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Angst/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 561 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Forge - Complete
All We Need is Love reviews
Utter crack. Russia/America, The Netherlands/Canada, England/Hong Kong, Switzerland/Austria, Iceland/Denmark, and more! Enjoy.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/15/2010 - Complete
The Ties That Bind Are Red reviews
Get it? Ha, ha? *Shot* The red string of Fate, Russia/China style! T for swearing.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,370 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Russia, China - Complete
Irony reviews
"It's worth a shot, isn't it, teach? Isn't irony great?" Duncan-centric. Implied pairings.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 952 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Duncan - Complete
Visiting the New World reviews
Someday, the lovely America would be his, and England would have no idea what had hit him." Hinted Russia/America and England/America.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 981 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/4/2010 - Russia, America - Complete
Neutrality reviews
De facto or de jure, it's still neutrality. Switzerland/Austria, Vash/Roderich.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Switzerland, Austria - Complete
At the Speed of Light reviews
50 word drabble of BatFlash. Enjoy.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,646 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Wally W./Flash, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
A New World reviews
A peek into the future. A few implied pairings. Irene-centric, somewhat.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 566 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Destiny/Irene A. - Complete
Welcome to My Nightmare reviews
She thought bitterly to herself, 'Welcome to my nightmare.' A look into the past of Danielle Moonstar.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 379 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Dani Moonstar, Danielle M. - Complete
Viva la Vida reviews
A look into Static Shock universe, twenty years after the show ends. Warning: mentions some alcohol.
Static Shock - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Complete
Of Claws and Teeth reviews
A sad attempt at humor. Cyclops/X-23, amongst others.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 782 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Cyclops/Scott S. - Complete
Of Rhodes
The reason behind the name. Piotr-centric. Mentions pairings.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 693 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Colossus - Complete
Cryo reviews
The resurrection of Steve Rogers, better known as, Captain America. #11 in Witchblood universe.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 814 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Capt. America - Complete
Pink
Piotr/JP, slash. Mentions Pink, pancakes, and Montreal, Quebec.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 894 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Colossus - Complete
When He was Good reviews
Tenth in Witchblood-verse. Sam-centric, though contains Sam/Pietro.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,738 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/23/2010 - Cannonball/Sam G. - Complete
Bride
There she goes, the Bride of Frankenstein's Monster." Follow-up to Frankenstein's Monster. Set ten years into the future.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 361 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Callisto - Complete
Frankenstein's Monster reviews
Tale of the Morlocks, from the perspective of one. Enjoy.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Caliban - Complete
Smokes reviews
All she wanted was her smokes." Introspective Tabitha. Eighth in Witchblood series.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 473 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Boom-Boom/Tabitha S. - Complete
Over and Over reviews
Fred Dukes and his love for Jean Grey. T for mentions of squicky stuff.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 552 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Blob/Fred D. - Complete
Patience
Good things come to those who wait." Sixth in the series.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 506 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Berzerker/Ray C. - Complete
The Secret Life of Henry McCoy reviews
For lack of a better title. Surprise pairing!
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 362 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Beast/Hank M. - Complete
Migraine reviews
Avalanche was back!" Set ten years into the future. Drabble.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Avalanche/Lance A. - Complete
Crash
The life and times of Archie Weber, alias Arcade. Guest-starring Dr. Moria McTaggert!
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Angst/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 758 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Arcade - Complete
The Fallen reviews
Angel on Angel. Implied pairings.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 466 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Angel/Warren W. - Complete
The Passing of the Ring
A tribute to Smeagol, alias Gollum.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 296 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Smeagol - Complete
Final Countdown reviews
It was the final countdown, their last shot.
Static Shock - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Complete
Red Robin reviews
A look into the life of Red X and Robin. My attempt at the fifty word drabble.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,569 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Red-X, Robin - Complete
Obsessed reviews
Amanda Sefton and her descent into the cult of the U-Men.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 648 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Amanda S. - Complete
Merry Mornings reviews
Belated Valentine's fic. T for implied stuff.
Static Shock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Hotstreak, Virgil/Static - Complete
Violet reviews
Karolina muses flowers and their possible meanings.
Runaways - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 283 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/24/2010 - Complete
Witchblood reviews
Dedication to a character who doesn't get enough of the limelight.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 351 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Agatha H. - Complete
Myth
A look into the far future. Kinda strange.
DC Superheroes - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 769 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/8/2010 - Complete
A is for After reviews
And so they lived happily ever after." Surprise pairing.
Yours, Mine, and Ours - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 278 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Complete
Colors reviews
Jamie/Rahne one-shot/drabble thing. Read on.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Multiple/Jamie M., Wolfsbane/Rahne S. - Complete
iThink reviews
Cam drabble. Under 300 words. Enjoy.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 250 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Sam P., Carly S. - Complete
This is How the World Ends reviews
Not with a bang, but a whimper. Chris/Lindsay. Other pairings inside. Not happy.
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 588 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 1/1/2010 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Chris M., Lindsay - Complete
The Devil's Alphabet reviews
DM/BL. An alphabetical list of the life and love of Draco Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange. Contains odd pairings and non-descript violence.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,484 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Draco M., Bellatrix L. - Complete