Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
So ... if you've arrived at our page, it's pretty obvious that you either:
A) Read our little masterpiece and wanted to know who the geniuses behind it are
B) read Nerys's fic and saw the shameless pimping there
C) read Serp's fic and saw the shameless pimping there
D) are randomly checking profile pages, because you have no life
E) read Nerys's profile and followed the link on it
A) read Serp's profile and followed the link on it
G) Googled Nerys's name and found this when you got to page 666
B) Googled Serp's name and found this at the top of the list. (we are well-connected)
I) went through 200,009 pages on Google, searching for the meaning of life, and ended up here. (we have all the answers)
Z) was searching for genuine puppet masters and got this page instead
K) was searching for "who Hermione really ended up with" and arrived here
Q) randomly clicked on the author's names when you were looking at the page for Tom/Hermione fics
Y) saw a pair of women being pulled away by men dressed in white and decided to find out who they were
S) have been harassed by two strange ladies and decided to come here to avoid further harassment
N) have recently converted from a different fandom and decided to read fics from it
U) are a fanatic TMR-LV/HG shipper and wanted to read all the fics from the fandom
H) are a troll who just wanted to see if there was anything he/she can troll about. (just so you know, shall that happen, we'll personally troll YOU back)
L) wanted to harass one of the two fanfic writers
X) have been visited by a certain dark lord and "freely" came here
O) are a fanatic Heron and wanted to know, who dared to divert from canon
J) are a fanatic HHr shipper and wanted to know, who dared to disagree with them
K) are a fanatic pur sang and wanted to see who to sic the FFnet administrators on for this blatant paedophilia.
L) got your emailbox spammed by two fanfic-writers and decided to take revenge by PM
M) hoped to see where these crazy individuals lived, so you could take revenge for real
Z) were using FFnet and ended up here for no reason at all
O) tried to go to your favourite fic, but this showed up and your virus alert went off
P) were reading this to decide which letter to choose in our poll
T) came to the conclusion we had no poll too late and read all this for no good reason at all
G) decided you wanted to be cool, just like us, so you decided to read everything you can about us
B) wanted to scold us for having multiple profile pages (as if we'd really take comments in that direction into consideration)
D) decided that you didn't want your daughters to be like us (although we have no idea why) and decided to read everything you can about us
Q) wanted to be a loyal LV follower like the two fanfic writers
W) saw a review of the puppetmasters on Nerys's fic and decided to see who agreed with you that it was brilliant.
E) saw a review of the puppetmasters on Serp's fic and decided to see who agreed with you that it was brilliant.
R) your computer has been infected with a worm and this is the only internet page you can open
T) are obsessed with our fic and decided to read our profile page every single day to see if we're going to update that day
Y) wanted to see who the fools are who don't know the alphabet
U) are a grammar nazi and after only being allowed 10,000 words in your review decided to PM the rest of our mistakes
I) are sure our fic was your fic and want to claim ownership
O) you are JK Rowling and want to give us all your money, because you feel sorry for two such dreadful writers
P) thought that we were JKR and decided to PM us
A) are from Warner Brothers and want to sue us for copyright infringement. (as if we have anything... Muahahha... sobs)
S) wanted to yell at us for disregarding the epilogue (what epilogue?)
D) decided we're brilliant authors and wanted us to write fics for your publishing company with the payment of 200,000,000 pounds per month
F) decided that you hated Ron and worshipped any fic that had him not ending up with anyone from canon
G) are a rabid Dramione fan and wanted to convert hard-core Tomione fans to that fandom
H) want to encourage us to get a beta
J) love fics where Hermione is in and couldn't find any beside this one
K) are dying for some evil Toms
L) died by the hand of evil Tom and are haunting this page for eternity
Z) wanted to troll us for not writing fluffy!Tom
X) we trolled you back
C) got a review from us and want to be our new best friend
V) want to hack our account, because you can write so much better
B) wanted to make us update faster by spamming us with reviews
N) decided you wanted to co-write a fic with us, because you wanted to be just as awesome as we are
M) were typing with your toes and searching for something else
-) are a member of the LV-HG Betrayal community and wanted to see what nonsense we'd sprout out this time
-) are sure Dan Brown is right and follow the hidden codes to wherever they lead you, in this case here. (congratulations, you'll be assassinated soon for discovering the truth that we're behind it all)
-) hope these authors live in a galaxy far, far away
-) wanted to convince us to go to a grammar school
-) are best friends with Luna
-) because the Tardis ended up here and the Doctor kicked you out, screaming "I am NOT Barty Crouch Jr."
-) because you hope we know the answer to the ancient question, "Is there life on Mars?" (Yes, we know)
-) are a believer of the "Harry is Voldemort's son" theory and wanted to troll us for believing that Hermione's Harry's mother
-) want to know what happened to the letters in front of the sentences, because you wanted to pick the above statement in our poll
-) because you wanted to fave us, until you read all this
-) because you followed the sparkles, hoping to catch Edward and got us instead. (For he's ours!)
-) because you are the Dark Lord and want to reward your loyal followers. (Think again, Ladies, I read the previous sentence and we'll "talk" about that soon.)
So ... if you've taken the time to read through all the reasons, there's only one conclusion: You're extremely bored. So go read our fic. If you've read it already, reread it again and again and again. And REVIEW. Imperio!
Of course we forgot to shamelessly pimp our profiles with our other brilliant stories here! (head-desk)
Will correct said horrible omission straight away.
So, Serpent In Red's profile with all her Tomione's: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/884388/Serpent_In_Red
And, Nerys's profile with all her Tomione's: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1334462/Nerys
Naturally we were also arrogant enough to fav ourselves, so that's also an option to go where we want (waves wand) you to go... now!
Also, the story "The Gold Puppet" can be found on adultfanfiction, too!
On AFFnet our story will have additional lemons. The kind of lemons that involves Hermione being with the older Voldemort. Since FFnet makes the foolish distinction between TMR and LV, we don't want to shock anyone not expecting that possibility to happen when they read our story posted in the TMR-HG section. We will post lemons on FFnet in this story with a sufficient warning in every chapter they occur in, but if you want to read everything then you need to move to AFFnet (if you are of legal age in your country, blah blah blah - because we all know sex is so much worse than tortures and kills - rolls eyes).