TopHatGirl
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Joined 01-05-10, id: 2205939, Profile Updated: 06-18-12
Author has written 22 stories for Looking Glass Wars Trilogy, Big Bang Theory, South Park, Glee, Simpsons, Homestuck, and Scott Pilgrim.

I have oxygen in my lungs and vines in my veins. I spend my spare time closing my eyes.

Go. Browse. Poke your nose in my stories-horrendous and stupendous alike.

I will wait here, even though patience was never my strong point.

Come back, and slap me in the face. Do not worry, I will not be mad.

As long as you come home for supper after you're done building a bridge to the moon.


I am TopHatGirl. I specialize in crack couples and AU stories, though a crossover might slip in there. Cliche profiles make THG angry and talk in third person, so do not do that to her, and she will not do that to you. I've been writing most of my life, and getting a lot of two faced praise for it. I've also been into improv and lying, both equally amusing to me. I am old enough to know what I am doing wrong but young enough to want to do it again. I hate the night and the day, feeling the happiest in the evening. I dislike pondering about the future, because I know somehow, everything works out okay. It seems to, in the end.

I enjoy it when people message and review me. I'm a pretty nice person, if you don't shove your religion down my throat or gab about your terrible music tastes. I also like it when people critique fanfictions, because ff.net writers need it the most.

I also believe profiles shouldn't be longer than a few simple paragraphs, so I'll wrap this up.

Hello. It's nice that you came to visit. Come again soon, I'll make pasta.


I am probably asleep right now, but do not worry. I am dreaming about you.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

More Than Human by sbj reviews
There is no way I can make this sound original, ever. An attempt to write a believable RrB/PpG in high school fic. Rated M because teenagers use terrible language. "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Camus
Powerpuff Girls - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 286,235 - Reviews: 1300 - Favs: 2,230 - Follows: 2,086 - Updated: 7/23/2013 - Published: 1/31/2009
Epochs Unblemished by Anti-Logic reviews
"Humans all age at exactly the same rate. There is no sudden onset of puberty that screws everything up and leaves some of them in the dust while the others rocket to adulthood. They can grow old together." Rose/Kanaya.
Homestuck - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,109 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Kanaya M., Rose L. - Complete
The Wind Will Carry Your Burden by StrawberryFunk
One day, Jade hears the word "run", and she does.
Homestuck - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 844 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Jade H. - Complete
The Great and Terrible Redglare by I.Write.Love reviews
Dave and John play pretend with their kids one snowy Washington day. Family!Dave/John. A request fic on Tumblr.
Homestuck - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,108 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/4/2011 - Dave S., John E. - Complete
Identity: Unknown by xXCarlaLouiseXx reviews
One sentence that turned Mysterion's world around: "I know why no one remembers." AU.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,960 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Mysterion
Tracing Shadows on the Wall by drumblonde reviews
Blaine is a patient at the Dalton Institution. He suffers from vivid dreams that he drags into reality, and he thinks that Dalton is a school. Things start to change for him once Kurt starts popping up in his dreams.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,362 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Consequences to the Grave by lizoftheinfinite reviews
The final battle between heaven and hell is coming, and Christophe has to choose a side. M for graphic violence and Christophe's mouth. Mild slash. Completed!
South Park - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 158,608 - Reviews: 253 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 8/25/2011 - Published: 2/25/2011 - Christophe, Damien - Complete
In a Field of Stone by jellyfishheart reviews
Lucy and 'Tana avoid talking about the upcoming procedures that will turn them both into beautiful, popular girls - and will force them to pretend they never knew each other. One-shot.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,251 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Quinn F., Santana L. - Complete
Across the Galaxy by ThinkingCAPSLOCK reviews
After Dave accidentally reveals that he can't remember the Star Wars movies, John takes it upon himself to tutor his friend about the awesomeness that is the series. Bro, ever a fan, decides to join in this education though much to Dave's displeasure .
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,324 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/7/2011 - John E., Dave S.
The Difference Between Being Stupid by Fly Raven. Fly reviews
... and just not knowing things. Because Brittany may not be very smart, but she wasn't stupid.
Glee - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,115 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Brittany P. - Complete
26 Days by infinite vertigo reviews
Spend 26 days with me at the Hyuuga summer house. 26 letters, 26 days. One activity each day starting with a letter, in alphabetical order. By the end, I guarantee you will be falling for me. NejiTen AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 114,975 - Reviews: 2138 - Favs: 903 - Follows: 503 - Updated: 7/13/2011 - Published: 5/6/2007 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Smile! No One Cares How You Feel by monscandal reviews
Balancing the soul-sucking monotony of high school life with playing bass in the most non-conformist band in the history of music definitely isn't all it's cracked up to be.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,094 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/7/2011 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Red Goth, Curly Goth - Complete
Don't Give Up by Kassaremidybelljesslynn reviews
Puck walks in on possibly the most horrific moment of his life...a broken Santana. So he fixes her. Pucktana friendship. Rated for swearing - a LOT of swearing - and hints at sex.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,669 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/15/2011 - Puck, Santana L. - Complete
He's Given Up Talking by kirana44 reviews
So when Mr Schue makes the club sing a solo to express themselves, Matt decides he's not going to stay silent for that much longer...Matt-centric fic.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,510 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/14/2011 - Matt R., Brad - Complete
A Bad Romance by Agirl2Nerdy reviews
Life seems to be falling apart for Wendy Testaburger. School is harder than ever, her long term boyfriend is distant and her friends seem to be ignoring her. To top it all off she's just landed two weeks in detention with her worst enemy, Eric Cartman.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 64,334 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 2/3/2011 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Wendy Testaburger, Eric Cartman - Complete
10 things by SuperGleek reviews
Everybody has their secrets right? the gleeks are no exception. 10 things you didn't know about each glee club member. read & review please
Glee - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 7,867 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Tina C., Kurt H. - Complete
Wander, Lust by Lady Nightspike reviews
Candy fic: "Her words are simple, but they bite like steel. Her lightning shoots through him, tingles ringing like an echo through his body."
South Park - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,316 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/20/2011 - Published: 9/1/2010 - Eric Cartman, Wendy Testaburger - Complete
What The Hell by PteraWaters reviews
Future fic, set in college. When Kurt and Rachel find out Puck is living in LA and pursuing an unconventional career, they go to investigate. What they find is both surprising and yet totally fits the self-proclaimed sex shark. T for now. Puck/Kurt
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,337 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 9/21/2010 - Kurt H., Puck
Standing Up by xSadistxFujix reviews
When Finn was stuck at a coffee house during a storm after Rachel had to cancel their date, he sees the employee getting homophobic slurs thrown at him. Finn promised to protect Kurt, why not do that for some other boy too? Furt-brother-fluff! sorta...
Glee - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Finn H., Kurt H. - Complete
101 Reasons Why Luna Lovegood is Insane by Lycoris B reviews
Written by Draco Malfoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,562 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Luna L., Draco M. - Complete
I'm Not That Boy by AdamPascalFan reviews
Ok fine he was in love with Kurt Hummel. It wasn't like Kurt even knew he existed
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 53 - Words: 90,548 - Reviews: 727 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Kurt H., Matt R. - Complete
Baby Blue Eyes by Bubble Wrapped Kitty reviews
Five years after Tina vanished without a trace, Artie is still looking for a way to move on. When they are reunited by fate, Artie finally learns just what took her away from him that night, and that truth has very familiar blue eyes. Futurefic.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 36 - Words: 113,033 - Reviews: 549 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 6/14/2010 - Published: 2/2/2010 - [Artie A., Tina C.] - Complete
And the Sheets Are Made of Fire by DSieya reviews
“Check-in time is now, check-out time is never.” The Pasadena gang goes to Philadelphia. So does the Scranton gang. This never should have happened. s&p friendship, dwight/angela, jim/pam, michael/blondes, unrequited oscar/raj, light language
Crossover - Office & Big Bang Theory - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,128 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Dwight S., Sheldon C. - Complete
Safety first by Benderine reviews
After this, Leela will never sneak in Fry and Bender's apartment at 3AM...EVER AGAIN. Fry/Bender or Fender slash
Futurama - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 12 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Bender R., P. Fry - Complete
Pink by the Zoshi reviews
It takes years to change yourself. It takes moments to change your mind. It takes seconds to fall apart. SxR FINISHED 08 31 2009
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 46,877 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Stan M., Red Goth - Complete
Curiosity Within the Dictionary by Fierce Kitten reviews
Lina likes new words. She's also very curious. When Lina finds a word that starts with K and ends with S I'll let you guess what it is. ; , she wants to know what it is. And who better to help her than our beloved Doon Harrow? Romance, D/L. One-Shot
City of Ember - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,816 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Complete
Oh Rudy by ReaderFOUR reviews
"Liesel, his hair is the colour of lemons. I wish you would come and see it for yourself." Rudy Steiner wants his kiss. And what is a bomb to disrupt a child's dream? ONE-SHOT.
Book Thief - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,465 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 12 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Liesel M., Rudy S. - Complete
A Lack of Color by mr. eames reviews
--"I'm going to kill myself." Stan went to the roof of his apartment building, one determined thought in his mind, and then the redheaded stranger ruined everything. Or maybe he was Stan's savior. "That's tragic, we've only just met." Oneshot Stan/Kyle AU
South Park - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,371 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Wonderwar reviews
In a circus of the bizzare and wonderful, John Egbert is an runaway heir escaping an usurped throne, when he is thrust into a world unfamiliar. But with a queen rising, and that blonde boy hiding everything, John has a world to save with his cirque.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,911 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 6/7/2012 - Published: 1/16/2012 - John E., Dave S.
Mental Quirks reviews
Matt's in a mental hospital, he's depressed-who isn't? But the pamphlets never said anything about making friends, roommates with secrets, sinister underbellies, schizophrenic dancers, and maybe even a love interest. Nothing Matt can't handle. Right?
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 29,177 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 3/16/2011 - Matt R.
Cult Fiction reviews
Finding their way in the eccentric city of San Francisco, college boys Ike and "Shift" battle with murder scene living spaces, mass killings causes, the next uprising, and maybe some hardcore soul searching. Sequel to The Burning. Co written with Ecrounox
South Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,405 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/6/2011 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Ike B., Kindergarten Goth
Catching reviews
Post Sburb, the resident coolkid disappeared for a year, coming back to prevent John from making a fool of himself. Funny, how even though Dave was the one catching, John's the one there to pick up the pieces. One-shot.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,120 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/5/2011 - Dave S., John E. - Complete
Accomplices reviews
Reluctantly, a lone mercenary happened across three people whom he was now indebted to. Of course he's not happy with the end results. He's never happy. Oneshot.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,607 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Christophe
Instructions On The Back reviews
It's a game, really. One by one, the glee kids get different cards in the mail with different words on the back, indicating their death. There can be no survivor. But you can play, too. Deciding their fate as you read their terrible tragedies. Ready? Go.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Suspense - Chapters: 18 - Words: 25,003 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 12/22/2010 - Complete
Stop and Survive reviews
Santana hates seeing Britt like this. She'll force Artie to get back with Brittany, no problem. Except she might be getting more than she bargained for. Artana.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,689 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 7/18/2011 - Published: 10/21/2010 - Santana L., Artie A.
Traitor In Progress reviews
Kurt Hummel is living in Nazi Germany in the midst of WWII. When his family takes in two Jews, everything he once knew is tested. With bombs, swing clubs, and love, there's always the question of his allegiance, and the consequences for it all. AU.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,490 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/12/2011 - Kurt H.
The Burning reviews
Kindergoth is now in highschool with a new alias, Shift. But the douch-y vampire kids are back, and no one knows why. He must stop this. But with all of his friends, er, allies in darkness, graduated, he must turn to an unexpected Canadian boy...
South Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 15,558 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/12/2011 - Published: 10/25/2010 - Kindergarten Goth, Ike B. - Complete
On A Wire reviews
With Show Choir Internationals taking place in Toronto, Sex Bob-Ombs finally getting a good gig, and, well, a zombie invasion, life's a little odd. Hey, it is Canada.
Crossover - Glee & Scott Pilgrim - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,899 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/20/2011 - Published: 4/12/2011
I Stand Corrected reviews
They barely even make eye contact. Everything in their life is so different; there's almost nothing in common. But maybe that's what they need. Especially when Tina gets the shock of her life, and Puck is the only one to pick up the pieces.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,966 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Tina C., Puck
Cardboard Boxes reviews
Mike and Sam may share glee, football, and classes together, but they never interact. Don't expect them to;they're in different categories. Thing is though, no one labeled those categories. So you don't know what you'll get if you mix them.Eventual slash.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,577 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 12/20/2010 - Mike C., Sam E.
Imperfect Situation reviews
Craig gets himself into the most awkward situations, unwillingly. Twoshot.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,614 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Craig T. - Complete
Broadway Sound Travel Collision reviews
Glee BigBangTheory crossover. Sheldon and the gang travel to Lima to do experiments on New Directions. Or, two individuals in particular.
Crossover - Big Bang Theory & Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 10,366 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12/19/2010 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Complete
Name, Please reviews
Brad's first sentence has quite a mental diatribe behind it.
Glee - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 488 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Brad
10 Things You Never Knew About Raj reviews
Pretty self explanatory. Some Penny/Raj Howard/Raj, but mostly just giving more info about Raj.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 647 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/22/2010 - Rajesh K. - Complete
Turned Out Worse reviews
"Hey! Watch it!" A muffled voice snapped when he stepped on their hand. "Oh, sorry. Didn't see you th...Rachel?" Puck/Rachel FRIENDSHIP.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Puck, Rachel B. - Complete
Shrug It Off reviews
It's Matt's turn to face Emma in the counselor's office. If she can help him, he's not sure. Oneshot.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Matt R., Emma P. - Complete
Sweet On You reviews
Nelson has a soft spot for orange lollipops. Super fluffy Lisa/Nelson. Oneshot.
Simpsons - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 461 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/11/2010 - Nelson M., Lisa S. - Complete
Vulnerable reviews
Santana is feeling,well, vulnerable. Surprised? So is she. But Artie Abrams happens to be there. Artie/Santana comfort.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 651 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Santana L., Artie A. - Complete
One Step Closer And She's reviews
Start of some Candy. Oneshot. Cartman finds Wendy unconscious and helpless one day...
South Park - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 469 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/23/2010 - Wendy Testaburger, Eric Cartman - Complete
The Fifth Suit reviews
A Looking Glass Wars fanfic. Im in the middle of Arch Enemy, so don't kill me if my facts arent up to date.
Looking Glass Wars Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 842 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/11/2010
Kivrin (14)