hide bio
Poll: If I have to put one of my stories on hiatus which one should I do? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 01-07-10, id: 2208238, Profile Updated: 11-28-10
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, and Twilight.


My Story Updates:


Bath Time Gone Wrong: ...

Observation of a Twampire:This one has a better chance of actually making it than some of my other stories coughbathtimecough but it's on hold

Got inspired last night wrote first draft of first chapter...not sure if I'm going to publish

Watching UFC (Ultimate Fighting Champion) with Dad:

Me: Why did they end the fight.

Dad: 'Cause he got knocked out.

Me: How could he get knocked out if he's still awake.

Dad: rewinds See right there he loses conciousness.

Me: For like two seconds!

Dad: It still counts

Me: That's stupid

Dad: Yah

Both of us slump in our seats

There's nothing like bonding with your Dad over grown men fighting! :)

Fav Pairings:






Harry Potter







Lily Hale

Kaden Hale

Adrian Cullen

YOUR GUY SIDE: (things I am are in bold)

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

You watch sports on TV.

Gory movies are cool.

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to high school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun.

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total= 11/25

YOUR GIRL SIDE: (things I am are bold)

You wear lip gloss.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink.

Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport.

You hate wearing the color black.

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts/short-shorts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.

You were/are in gymnastics/dance.

It takes you around/ more than one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as a little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.

Like being the star of every thing.

Total= 19/25 (I KNEW IT!!!!)


1) What colour is your toothbrush?


2) Name one person who made you smile today:


3) What were you doing at 8 am this morning?

Listening to the morning announcements in Lit Block

4) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Uploading music to my Mp3

5) What is your favourite candy bar?


6) Have you ever gone rock climbing?

Yes, it didn't end well...

7) What is the last thing you said aloud?


8) What is your favourite ice cream flavour?

Fudge Swirl :P

9) What was the last thing you had to drink?

Milk or water

10) Do you like your wallet?


11) What was the last thing you ate?


12) Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

I really don't remember...

13) The last sporting event you watched?

My friends and I attempting to play ultimate frisbee in gym class this afternoon.

14) What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

Ummmm...butter...I didn't know there where other flavors...

15) Who is the last person you sent a text message to?


16) Ever go camping?

Stepping into my backyard could possibly be counted as a camping trip for me.

17) Do you take vitamins daily?


18) Do you believe in God?


19) Do you have a tan?

For me, yes, I don't really tan, I burn...

20) Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?


21) Do you drink your soda with a straw?

Sometimes...if it's one of those rreally cool loopy straws.

22) What did your last text message say?

Okay I'm really not making this up...


I dn't no wat ur talkin abot!!! Happy gas and me hav a VERY good reltionsip. U wer goin 2 b invitd 2 da weddin but den u insultd us.


23) What are you doing tomorrow?

Going to school, coming home, talking to my friends, maybe I'll write a little.

25) Look to your left, what do you see?

A window

26) What colour is your watch?

Silver...I think...

27) What do you think of when you hear Australia?


28) What is your birthstone?


29) Do you go in at a restaurant place or just hit the drive thru?

Drive thru

30) What is your favourite number?


31) Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?


32) Any plans today?

It's 8:09 there's really not much I can do...

33) How many states have you lived in?

ONE New Hampshire is like a freaking black hole!!!! Once you get sucked, you can't get out.


34) Biggest annoyance right now?

My ankle hurts REALLY badly when I do anything.

35) Last song listened to?

Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha

36) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I tired before and it didn't work.

37) Do you have a maid service clean your house?


38) Favourite pair of shoes you wear all the time?


39) Are you jealous of anyone?

Not conciously...

40) Is anyone jealous of you?

I don't think so...

41) Do you love anyone?

Like in love or like family/BFF love? In love no. Family/BFF love HELL YA!!!!

42) Do any of your friends have children?


43) What do you usually do during the day?

Hang out with my friends, listen to music, walk/run/jog

44) Do you hate anyone that you know right now?

YES!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!!

45) Do you use the word 'hello' daily?


46) What colour is your car?

My parent's cars are gold and blue.

47) Do you like cats?


48) Are you thinking about someone right now?

Well, yah, that last question made me think of my kitty, SIR JOJO OF KITTYLAND!!!

49) Have you ever been to Six Flags?

I wish.

50) How did you get your worst scar?

Worst scars. I got them this winter when I was at my friend's roller skating b-day party. About 10 minutes after we started skating one of my other friends and I had a sort of collision thing wich caused another group of my friends who had been minding their bussiness fall over both of us. My ankle got broken. And, of course, me being me I couldn't just break it cleanly, nope, I hade to get a little piece of bone wedged between my growth plate and some cartilage. So I had to get three screws put in. Of course it couldn't possibly have ended there. Apparently my leg didn't like one of the screws and pushed it out of the way causing this chunk of bone to be floating around in my ankle (my doctor almost KILLED ME when he saw the x-ray). So after that I had to have another operation and have two more scars from it. This is why my friends call me the Walking-talking Hardware store.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Cullen: Luckier That You since 1987

27 Random things I learned from reading Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the bouquet, while resisting the wine.
2. The future is never set in stone.
3. Real vamps sparkle!
4. Men are crabby when they are hungry.
5. True love has no boundries.
6. Irritable grizzly is the best!
7. Some people just randomly attract danger.
8. Even enemies can work together to save something that they love if they put their minds to it.
9. Porsche Turbo 911's make very good bribes for when you want to hold someone hostage.
10. Soulmates do exist, even if it takes you a century to find them.
11. Snow means it's to cold for rain.
12. 'Vegetarian' has many meanings.
13. Even monsters have some humanity deep down inside.
14. Family is more than just blood lines.
15. There are exceptions to every rule.
16. Verify bad news BEFORE you go do something stupid.
17. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for others.
18. Hearing voice in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
19. Not breathing gets uncomfortable after a while.
20. Stupid Lambs and Masochistic Lions make very good couples.
21. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
22. Extreme sports should never be attempted alone.
23. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
24. Space heaters can be highly annoying.
25. Love can make even the most miserable places, paradise.
26. Don't go out into the forest alone.
27. Not breathing is uncomfortable

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

Write 12 of your fave Twilight characters in whatever order and follow the instructions below:


2. Carlisle











1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Nessie/Esme. No, ew, ew, ew, ew!

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Jasper is soooooooo hot!!

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Jane got Jacob pregnant?? I really don't think that's possible...

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Seth...not that I've read.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Esme and Carlisle. HELL YEAH!!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Emmet/Seth or Emmet/Bella...neither

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Rosalie walk in on Carlisle and Jane having sex...she would probably kill both of them, then go tell Esme.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Edward/Bella Edward thinks that Bella only wants him because he can turn her into a vampire. Bella comforts him before he does something they'll both regret.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Alice/Jacob...I don't think so...

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Rosalie/Jane...Two Cold Hearts...

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Jacob...Probably Jacob Black by The Mitch Hansen Band lolz

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Alice/Esme/Jane WARNING!!: Talk of toture.

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Emmet...three days ago

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (2).”

Alice and Rosalie are in a happy relationship until Seth runs off with Jasper. Alice, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Nessie and a brief unhappy affair with Jane, then follows the wise advice of Emmett and finds true love with Carlisle. wow.

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody?


2) Do you hate more than 3 people?


3) How many houses have you lived in?

Three, I think, maybe...

4) Favorite candy bar?


5) Favorite shoes?

My flippity-flops

6) Have you ever tripped someone?

Not on purpose...

7) Least favorite school subject?

FACS OMG it's like this toture that my school made up to 'educate' us on our body and drugs and all of that other stuff.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD?


10) Have you ever thrown up in public?

I don't know

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind.

Music...I ALWAYS have a song stuck in my head!!!

12) Favorite genre of music?


13) What is your zodiac sign?


14) What time were you born?

9:00 pm

15) Do you like beer?


16) Ever made a prank phone call?

*starts laughing hysterically*, of course not...

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own?

Hannah Montana :P

18) Are you sarcastic?

*flips hair* No, what are you talking about

19) What are your favorite colors?

Blue, and green, and blue, and purple, and blue, and orange, and blue, and blue, and blue, and NOT PINK

20) How many watches do you own?

Alot, none of wich I can find at the moment...

21) Summer or winter?


23) Favorite color to wear?

BLUE (duh)

24) Pepsi or Sprite?


25) What color is your cell phone?

26) Where is your second home?

My friend's house or my aunt's house...but she lives in Penn. so if I was going to run away ir anything then I couldn't go she'd send me back...well Sav's mom would too...

27) Have you ever slapped someone?

*giggles* maybe...

28) Have you ever had a cavity?


29) How many lamps are in your bedroom?


30) How many video games do you own?

A couple

31) What was your first pet?

Super Echo the magnificent springer spaniel!!!!! She's right here licking my feet. Say hello Echo!!!

32) Ever had braces?


33) Do looks matter?


34) Do you use chapstick?

All of the time!!!

35) Name 3 teachers from your High MIDDLESchool.


Bundy :)))))) (Me: Hhahahahaha you get my bro next year Bundy: shut your mouth Andersson with two s's or I'll throw your pencil out the window)


36) American Eagle or Abercombie?

American Eagle

37) Are you too forgiving?


38) How many children do you want?

ummmmm i don't know!!!

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic?


40) Favorite breakfast meal?

Co Co puffs

41) Do you own a gun?


42) Ever thought you were in love?


3) When was the last time you cried?

I really don't remember...

44) What did you do 3 nights ago?

Went to see Avatar the Last Airbender with ny BFF

45) Olive Garden? La Panera?

Olive Garden

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy?


47) Have you ever been in a castle?


48) Nicknames?

B.B. (try and guess what that stands for)

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha?


50) Ever been to Kentucky?


51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?


52) Are you thinking about somebody right now?

Hmmmmmmmm Echo the Magnificent because she's STILL licking my feet!!!

53) Have you ever called someone Boo?

My bro all of the time. It makes him mad. :)

55) Do you own a diamond ring?


56) Are you happy with your life right now?


57) Do you dye your hair?


58) Does anyone like you?

I don't know

59) What year were you born?


60) What were you doing in May 1994

*stares at question for a couple of seconds*

I wasn't alive...

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD?


62) McDonalds or Wendys?


63) Do you like yourself?


64) Are you closer to your mother or father?

I'm closer to my mather

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex?

EYES!!!!!! Especially if they're big and brown :)))))

66) Are you afraid of the dark?


67) Have you ever eaten paste?

*blushes* Maybe...

68) Do you own a webcam?


69) Have you ever stripped?


70) Ever broke a bone?

*groans* ...yeah...

72) Do you chat on AIM often?


73) Pringles or Lays?


74) Have you ever broken someone's heart?

I don't think so...

75) Rugrats or Doug?


76) Full House or The Brady Bunch?

Seen reruns...hated both of them.

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor?

Haven't had one yet.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat?


79) Do you have a birth mark?

Yes, in the middle of my back.

80) Do you own a car?


81) Can you cook?


82) 3 things that annoy you:



people who like talk like this like all of the time.

83) Do you text message often?

depends on my mood...

84) Money or love?


85) Do you have any scars?

*sighs* I really don't want to get into this right now...i'll end up ranting...

86) What do you want more than anything right now?


87) Do you enjoy scary movies?

When I'm with my friends, yah *starts thinking about last time* LOL WIND CHIMES!!!!

88) Relationships or quick night stands?


89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit?

Is it bad that I don't know what either of these things are?

90) Do you enjoy greasy food?


91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies?

*bangs head on computer* not willingly

92) Do you own a box of crayons? just...ran away...

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you?

Mom or Dad

95) Who was the last person that made you mad?


96) Who was the last person that made you cry?

I really don't know...

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh?


98) Who was the last person that you fell for?

One of my guy friends...

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you?

Don't know

100) Who was the last person that called you?

Sav...i think


If, for any particular reason you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a door,copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a four letter word, copy and paste this into your profile. (Does hates me)

If you've ever pulled on a door and complained about it being locked or really heavy, only to have someone point out to you that you're supposed be pushing on the door or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

if you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on !! i'm a smart person yay ARE YOU? Cpoy and pstae tihs otno yuor pofilre!!

98 percent of teenagers have either smoke pot or tried to smoke it. If your one of those 2 percent, copy and paste this to your profile


Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side! (We have cookies :D)

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy and paste this onto your profile

There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

Disclaimers are stupid. I'm obviously not Stephenie Meyer. (Or J.K. Rowling sigh)

WARNING: Having a vampire boyfriend may be hazerdous to your health. Not that you care ;)

Real men Sparkle...

I like my men cold, dead, ...and sparkling.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. It was a hard line to walk.

Kyrptonite doesn't bother me either.

Well, It's no irritable grizzly...

I'm dazzled by a fictional(yeah right!) vampire by the name of EDWARD CULLEN

AV is Addictied to Vampires

If you are so obsessed with Twilight its NOT funny no more, copy and paste.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Jasper" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have OJD (Obsesive Jasper Disorder) and are proud of it, copy and paste.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

If you simply AH-DORE Jasper, copy and paste this onto your profile...then you may go on your rant about how much you love him and you wish he wasn't already married.

If you believe that vampires with powers are cool, copy and paste this onto your profle.

If you think that Jasper is HAWT copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett is coolio and totally wicked, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Seth is a brilliant little werewolf and you just want to hug him to death or just give him a cookie, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.

You know you're obsessed with the Twilight Series when:
1. you download every song from Stephanie Meyers playlist and listen to them non-stop on your iPod.
2. you dream about it every night.
3. you want to go to Forks for your spring break.
4. you squeal every time you see a silver Volvo, even if it's not your favorite car.
5. you cringe whenever you hear/see Edward's or Bella's name and it has nothing to do with Stephenie Meyer.
6. you've ceased to believe that vampires actually have fangs or any weakness. And you believe all vampires must be inherently hot.

7. you're counting down the minutes until Breaking Dawn comes out.
8. you quote lines from the books for use in your everyday speech.

9. you solidly believe your boyfriend is a vampire simply on the basis that he's sexy.
10. you refer to your ideal boyfriend as an "Edward."

11. you pre-order your copy of Breaking Dawn at Barnes & Noble.
12. you name your characters after the Twilight characters.
13. you cry because your father used New Moon as a coaster for his drink. (Never again...)
14. you count down the days till Edwards birthday 60 days before it starts.
15. a love song comes on and you immediately think of Edward and Bella.
16. you have bought both the audio books.
17. you have bought t-shirts from
18. you relate even the weirdest things to the book.
19. you carry the books with you.
20. you go to Forks.
21. you almost faint when you first saw the cover of Eclispe.
22. you think you can feel Edward beside you while you're reading(or just doing nothing at all).
23. you talk to nothing but think you're talking to Edward.

24. you stay locked in your room until you've read it over a million times.
25. you start talking to it (the book).

26. you talk to your friends about it...even though they have no idea what you're talking about!
27. you ask them how you know you love the Twilight series even though they STILL don't know what you're talking about.
28. you sleep with the book cradled in your arms.

29. while talking to your friends, they mention something that reminds you of Twilight, and you mutter a joke for Twilight-lovers with super hearing and start laughing your head off.
30. you are highly considering naming your future children the characters names.

31. in class, you relate every project to something in the book.
32. the name Edward becomes your new favorite guy name.
33. you didn't let anybody else touch your books.

34. you and your boyfriend call each other "Edward" and "Bella".
35. you sit on the roof of your house every night waiting for Edward to come.

36. you name random people at your school the characters' names.
37. you wish for them not to make a Twilight movie because it could never be as good as the book but still want to see it.
38. you start failing in school because either you're reading the Twilight Series. Or you are thinking about Edward and his family.

39. you make a protective cover for your twilight to ensure that you never leave your copy of Twilight when it goes with you to yours friend's house.
40. you create a debate in class over Edwards "perfection"
41. you and your friends try to guess the entire plot to Breaking Dawn.
42. you refer to it as "The Black and Red Bible"
43. you start imagining scenes from the books in your head before you go to bed.

44. you try to compare a lot of things to the book.
45. your cry at sad parts of the book... Even though you've read it 20 times

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie’s sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me that they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know.

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up.

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..." (Ha Ha I've done that!!)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up to him and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" (Done that too...)

A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs and trips you again.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, dang I'm gonna miss you Buddy

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On NytolSleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?
)’ from the profile of Nocturna Princess

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times.

2) You own all above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and
you want to see it anyway.
(Hated it!!)

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight. (DUH!!)

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight. (DUH!!)

8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says
something about Twilight or its characters.
(...not yet...)

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a
missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,
because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight
is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for
Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you
like best.
(cough jasper cough)

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something
about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.
(Oh yeah)

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,
you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing
you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are friends, not scary. (They totally got that from Finding Nemo!)

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people
who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought
it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

25). You are constantly thinking of something Twilight related, and sometimes you even talk about what you were thinking of to yourself.

26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series (Yeppers!!)

31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're phsyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Breaking Dawn than anything to do with Harry Potter (Yeah, and I'm a Potter fan!)

41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

Copy and Paste this on your profile if, you too are obsessed!!

A2ACB means you are addicted to all Cullen Boys (Copy and Paste if you too are addicted.)

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid copy and paste this onto your profile.

"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit."

"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling!"

(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the

best in you.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
— G.K. Chesterton

Ever had writers block when talking?

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Straight is something crooked that was bent.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

Fun Things to do in an Elevator

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

I am a girl.
Harsh but vulnerable.
Sarcastic but silly.
Stupid but thoughtful.
Thorny but tender.
Funny but serious.
Loud but passive.
Dramatic but bland.
An open book.
Easy to love & easy to hate.
Klutzy but occasionally coordinated.
Independent, but dependent on friends.
An oxymoron
A muddling paradox
An unsolvable contradiction
And totally proud of it.


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Ray Of Hope by Kazume Suigama reviews
Alice rescued a little girl named Karla from a crash. With her parents dead Jasper susgested that they adopt her. But The Volturi soon discovers the human and Alice and Jasper have to say goodbye to their daughter. Will they meet again? R&R please.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 19 - Words: 39,088 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 4/17/2014 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Reincarnated by Cinnamint Kitty reviews
Ninety years ago, Bella Swan died, leaving the Cullen clan to flee from Forks. But what happens if they meet again but only the Cullens remember who she is?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 58,329 - Reviews: 921 - Favs: 725 - Follows: 650 - Updated: 7/26/2013 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Dream Seekers by frozenteardrop13 reviews
Harry has always wondered why Remus was so understanding about his life with the Dursleys. When he finds out, he vows to go back in time to fix Remus's childhood. Canon pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 46,630 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Harry P., Remus L.
Dimension Father by Bloody Phantom reviews
Harry ends up in a different universe during the Battle at the Department of Mysteries. He have to save this world before his own. When he gets the chance to go back home, would he really want to? For why would he want to leave a world where his father is still alive? Where his father still needs him? Will he have a choice?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 149,261 - Reviews: 1315 - Favs: 1,901 - Follows: 1,221 - Updated: 10/3/2012 - Published: 3/20/2008 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Newborns by RushedUponATime reviews
Carlisle & Esme adopt six human teenagers to their family, but as things starts settling in, an accident leaves them with six newborn vampires. How do they cope with raising baby vampires? Difficulties & heartache ensured as well as cuteness & laughs.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,343 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Carlisle, Esme
To Love What One Fears by lycoris413 reviews
AU 80 years after Alice's death, the Cullens return to Forks. A girl, whose biggest fear is vampires, moves to town a year later, running from nightmares of her father's murder 8 years ago. She and Jasper can't deny the pull they feel for each other.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,356 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 4/18/2011 - Published: 4/13/2010 - Jasper
Reactions to the Legend by amber-chick reviews
AU Sirius is freed after the tournament and is Harrys guardian. Everything is normal until Harry let something slip making Sirius & Remus realize that they don't know about Harry's first 2 years. Now Harry has to explain all the death defying stunts. Oh dear...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,502 - Reviews: 1605 - Favs: 3,629 - Follows: 2,048 - Updated: 3/11/2011 - Published: 3/28/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
The Ransom of Little Deer by Blueroan reviews
Billy Black and his father were not the first Native Peoples Carlisle Cullen had come in contact with since coming to America. That noble honor belonged to Little Deer and he would never forget her or her courage. pre-Twilight, set in 1810, Carlisle's POV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 145,094 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 2/28/2011 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Carlisle - Complete
A Family Perspective by Vaneria Potter reviews
A series of One-Shots. Every main character has a story behind them. Many have families and friends. All have someone who has helped them become what they are. The untold stories of those who have helped to shape their lives.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Spiritual - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,364 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/19/2011 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Edward, Elizabeth
Good Things Come in Small Packages by ME LOVEY JAZZY reviews
Edward and Emmett wake up one day to find Jasper's baby on their doorstep. They have to take care of her until he gets home from his trip. What will happen when Jasper gets home? Loosely based on the '87 film 'Three Men & a Baby'. Lots of Daddysper!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 45,137 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Jasper, Alice
Outside Looking In by JustALittleFanMoment reviews
Renesmee knows nothing of Bella and Edwards relationship. She doesnt even know how they met! Finally after all this time she gets to see it first hand, but at what cost?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,564 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/18/2010 - Published: 1/3/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward
Venom by LiveLifeLikeNeverBefore reviews
Abused since birth, half-human Bella stumbles into Forks, lost being dependent on her fake mother all her two yr life. The Cullens encounter her not knowing her true heritage, and what is w/ her diet of vampire venom? not eating blood or human food. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,435 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 5/26/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Bella, Edward
Written in the Stars by EternalEclipse reviews
Remus is assigned to be Eve’s partner for an Astronomy project. They begin as strangers, and then slowly become friends. What happens when they both begin to fancy one another? Only the stars know what the future holds for Remus and Eve. Read and review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 44 - Words: 179,814 - Reviews: 547 - Favs: 375 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 12/23/2007 - Remus L., OC - Complete
Are You Cross? by Angelauthor14 reviews
Harry is rescued from the Dursleys at the age of four and is raised by Sirius and Remus. A childhood that Harry deserved! Lots of bonding as Harry begins to trust Sirius and Remus. First fic, so please review. WARNING: DURSLEY ABUSE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 49 - Words: 126,051 - Reviews: 1975 - Favs: 1,194 - Follows: 1,040 - Updated: 12/10/2009 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Harry P., Sirius B.
And Then He Took My Hand Part 2: Jasper by hopesallthings reviews
Since you all seem to love Carlisle father/son fics... Just a bunch of oneshots with Carlisle and his sons. Here's part 2 of it. And no, I'm far from done with Emmetts' part. I just had a momentary loss of inspiration and decided to start with Jasper.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,096 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 10/7/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Carlisle, Jasper
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8430 - Favs: 7,631 - Follows: 1,779 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Marauder's Lists by Mrs Charlie Weasley-thats me reviews
A few list made by the marauders, and Lily. Prety much each chapter is a oneshot. Read and Review!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,288 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/3/2007 - Published: 10/13/2006
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Who Are You? reviews
Lily L. Potter gets hurtled into the past, right into the Weasely's living room. She now has to spend a "week at grandma's" while her brothers fix the machine that got her there.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,506 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 11/11/2010 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Harry P., Lily Luna P.
Observations reviews
What if the Cullens had kids before Bella met Edward? What would they're reactions be to her and all the trouble she brings the Cullen family? J/A E/R have kids! DISCONTINUED
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,931 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Edward, Jasper
Bath Time Gone Wrong reviews
Jasper and Emmett are left alone to babysit Nessie...and give her a bath. Easy right? So why is Nessie running loose naked, Emmet speaking in an Australian accent, and Jasper the only sane person left in the Cullen household. ON HIATUS : sorry
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,646 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Jasper, Emmett
Rainy Day Meetings reviews
Jasper and Alice's meeting in the POV of their guardian angels. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Angelauthor14 (25)
Annao7 (0)
savy3 (0)