Clayr411
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Joined 01-07-10, id: 2208285, Profile Updated: 03-17-12

Things I will not do when I am at Hogwarts

When I am at Hogwarts, I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts, I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

When I am at Hogwarts, I will not: Lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who makes it out alive.

When I am at Hogwarts, I will not: Tell first years the door to fluffy's chambers is the entry way to Narnia

Naruto Quiz!

1. Who are your favourite Naruto Characters? Itachi, Naruto, and Killer Bee

2. What are your favourite pairings? Naruxsaku, NaruxHina, and SasuxHina

3. Are you a Naruto Yaoi or Hentai Fan? WTH?! NO!

4 Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times? No.

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: pictures, RPCs

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? Umm.. No. [kinda grossed out.]

7. NaruHina or KibaHina? KibaHina

8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? SasuSaku so cause its not Yaoi!

9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7

10. Do you support the obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) That might make sense...

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? It's already been revealed.. LOL

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? Hmmmm... their all really cool but I think the best is Sasori

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Pro-Sasuke untill he went bonkers.

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? YES!!

15. Have you read all the chapters so far? no

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? well...it is a plausible theory

17. Sub or dub? Sub! Dub sucks!

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Anti-Saku. =.=

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Funny. x3

20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Yup.

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Awesome. He works hard.

24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? Hinata.

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? YES!

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? no but I'd like to

27. Do you like lemons? No! No lemons! *shudder*

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? Barely.

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? No..

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? Whaaa?

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? Everyone I know is already hooked on Naruto.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? no i'm homeschooled

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this? no.

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? No

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? no

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? ...no thx..*shudder*

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? that's actually a theory? 0.0

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? no but I do RPC's

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? Nope.

40. Do you have a Naruto OC? whaa??

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? no

Ways to annoy/scare people in an elevator:

1) Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
2) Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
3) Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
4) Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
5) Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
6) Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
7) Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball.
8) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
9) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
10) Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
11) Hum the theme to Jeopardy.
12) Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
13) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
14) Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
15) Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
16) Stare at another passenger for a while, then scream “You’re one of THEM!” and cower to the far corner of the elevator.
17) When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
18) When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
19) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
20) When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay! Don’t panic, they’ll open again.”

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

NORMAL PEOPLE vs. YU-GI-OH FANS

normal people: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would rather rely on Ishizu for future predictions.
normal people: Say "OMG!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Oh my RA! (OMR!)"
normal people: Say "Shut up or I'll tell on you!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Shut up or I'll steal Seto's check book and blame it on you!"
normal people: Think bad guys are very ugly.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and absolutely love Bakura and Marik.
normal people: When being chased yell "HELP ME SOMEBODY!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: When being chased yell "HELP ME ATEM!"
normal people: Get nervous or scared during thunderstorms.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know that there might be a duel between Yami Yugi and Yami Bakura, and that one of them might be shirtless.
normal people: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would go directly to Domino City or find a way to Ancient Egypt.
normal people: Would be scared when they see people in purple cloaks chasing them.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Just know that Marik sends his rare hunters to be sure that you are fine.
normal people: Get freaked out when they see scary people on motorcycles.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and know that it is possibly Marik.
normal people: Think Yu-Gi-Oh is just a stupid children’s card game
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know that Duel Monsters is the source of all happiness.
normal people: Solve their problems by suing each other.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Solve their problems by playing a children's card game.
normal people: Don't believe in real magic.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Are always watchful for chances to be sent to the Shadow Realm.
normal people: Don't believe in the apocolypse.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Laugh and show them Zorc and/or Season 0 Mokuba.

Copy and Paste Section

98 percent of the population has a MySpace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't an emo, copy and paste this in your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you’re one of the 2 percent who hasn’t, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

If you have ever seen a movie so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason copy this into your profile

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just one review, paste this into your profile

All stressed out and noone to choke

Anything worth doing is worth doing right

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

If it's tourist season... why can't you shoot them?

Teacher pay, a perfect example of an oxymoron! - Andoriol's 9th grade english teacher

If at first you don't succede, then skydiving is not for you

It's almost like we know what we're doing... - Mythbusters

I reject your reality and subsitute my own! - Mythbusters

WARNING: tresspassers will be shot WARNING: survivors will be shot again

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

SHIN: a device for finding furniture in the dark

The only subsitute for bad manners, is quick reflexes

Fine: The Real Definition

F.reaked out

I.nsecure

N.uerotic

E.motional

Stupidity killed the cat, Curiosity was framed

Hello, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up

Officer, I swear to Drunk i'm not God!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

There are three kinds of people in the world; Ones that can count and ones that can't count.

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects, it's when they start to talk back that you should worry

Whoever said that words don't hurt obviously has never gotten hit by a dictionary

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

My mind is an iPod that got stuck on 'Shuffle'

Story Quotes/Passages

"Itachi." Shisui's booming voice resounded through the eating area.

Itachi felt a pressure in between his temples form; it was amazing how he could do that.

Sasuke glanced in the direction of his elder cousin, who was looming in the doorway and practically seething. Sasuke brushed it off, knowing it did not concern him and continued his reading as he sat at the low dining table.

Itachi paid him no intention as he focused on his objective. His dark eyes focused on the contraption on the counter…

Shisui stalked over to the kitchen area, leaned against the counter with arms crossed and sharpened eyes. "What are you doing?" He asked unnervingly simple.

"Making toast." Itachi replied fluidly.

"You don't eat toast." Sasuke pointed out steadily, his dark eyes never leaving his scroll.

Itachi's eyes stayed focused on the metal contraption.

I do now.

"When did this start?" Shisui snapped quickly.

Itachi turned to his bulkier cousin, his face unsettlingly placid. "Quite recently."

"Did you ever think…that maybe toast is unhealthy for you and if anyone ever found out you liked toast it would be very very bad?" Shisui exclaimed with a wide eyed expression.

"I believe that you are taking my fondness for toast a bit too seriously."

"Then how serious is it?" Shisui leaned forward, obviously invading the precious personal space of his cousin.

"Something is burning." Sasuke drawled.

"See what happens when you like toast!" Shisui pointed to the black piece of bread. "You're hurting the toast for your own selfish needs!"

Itachi began to walk past his cousin with toast in hand.

Shisui flickered into the doorway, his form effectively blocking Itachi, temporarily.

"You don't want toast." He made a grab for the charred bread.

"And why is that?" Itachi easily evaded his grasp.

"Well for one, toast will be ruin of you and if anyone found out that you had a little obsession episode again then you'd be sent straight to Morino-san for a mental evaluation." His voice was but a sharp whisper.

Itachi stared at him with an expressionless countenance.

"Plus, your… hunger jumped out of the window."

Itachi blinked.

"I'm serious." Shisui deadpanned. "Like, sayounara… out the window." He made hand signs to animate such a thing.

He was already heading out the door.

"Oi!" Shisui flickered out of sight.

Sasuke stared at his scroll and plopped a rice ball into his mouth.

Freaks…

(Memoirs of a prodigy by KarasuKimi; Category: Naruto)

"No way, that wasn't teamwork. The only teamwork I saw involved Kagome and her minions!" Kakashi thought about it for a moment. "I shouldn't have passed you three." He turned to the Yondaime. "Is it too late to rescind my verdict?"

Team 7 frowned at him.

"It was teamwork!" Naruto insisted once again. "I was cheering Gome on while trying to free myself from the tree," he boasted.

"I was..." Sasuke's brow wrinkled, "... there..."

Kakashi snorted. "You fail!"

( ० K a z o k u ० by KibaSin; Category: Naruto)

"I can't believe that you and Aizen were hatching plots for world domination in our kitchen! Dad, you've always been a goofball, but this really takes the cake." Ichigo shook his head.

( Illusion by Sariniste; Category: Bleach)

"Still nothing on the fact I'm running on nothing!" He grumbled. "Che, I've just been gone." Gaara stared at him. "And I can see you 'cause I trained myself to see dead people so I can honestly say in a creepy voice: I see dead people. Do you?"

(All Hail the King by Growling; Category: BleachxNaruto Crossover)

For several extremely long seconds, no one dared move, as if anyone breathing too loudly would break some sort of stalemate. "Do you know what it's like?" the boy's voice said again, looking around with his now black and gold eyes. "Having the memories of a 28 year old and being stuck in a child's body? Caffeine can't touch this!"

(Familiar Faces by Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet; Category: Bleach)

However, the thought that his brother having a plan that just might help him out a bit intrigued him. A plan that could possibly ward off those Harpies and maybe even the Cretin herself?

...Probably not, though. Cretin, much like her harpy ancestors, won't be easily deterred. The only way to get rid of them was probably to claim bankruptcy. No money, no gold diggers, right?

Then again, they'd probably try to help him regain his wealth, claiming that their love will help him move mountains.

Falling short of running them all down with his car as he drove like some kind of a deranged maniac, just how do you get rid of egotistical, self-centred, utterly obnoxious trolls like Cretin?

Arsenic poisoning?

...Hmm, arsenic poisoning...? A potentially slow and painful death to anyone who is giving the dangerous metal in small doses, correct?

...No, too messy and Cretin would have to digest it into her body, which meant he had to get close to the vile woman. He didn't trust anyone with the secret so he'd have to do it himself, and given the chance, he'd avoid the annoying twat in any way he can.

chapter change*

However, before he could question what his brother meant by that, the frantic voices of some of his security personnel drifted through the wooden barrier. They were saying something about her not being here yet and where she could be, and that she couldn't have made it this far.

What in the world?

Suddenly, the voice of one of his longest serving security guards, Aaron, quietened down the murmurs and what he said caused Seto's eyebrows to reach for his hairline. "Miss Bakura has her trapped in a closet on level 15, near the fire exit! Go, I'm not sure how much longer she can keep that door shut!"

"Right!"

A thundering sound of feet racing hurriedly to the lift soon followed and then nothing but silence. And Seto was left staring at his office door completely bewildered as to what the hell was going on.

"Closet," Mokuba sniggered lowly near his desk. "So cool."

(Sweet Revenge by Defiant Vixen; Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Hush little Kitling, Don't say a word.

Kyuubi's earthquake will shake the world,

But if Konoha doesn't fall,

Fire comes at Kyuubi's call.

And if Konoha doesn't burn,

Kyuubi will make the oceans churn,

But if Konoha doesn't drown,

Kyuubi's tornado will blow it down.

And if Konoha stays as it's been,

Kyuubi will start all over again…

(Beast's Lullaby by Daydreamer-74423; Category: Naruto)

Sakura did her best 'cute' impression, giving her old teammate a shy smile, "How do I look? Do I look more like a woman now…?"

Warning bells went off in Naruto's head, 'Danger-Danger! Tact required! Don't say something stupid! Neutral answer! Complimentary but true! Complimentary but true!'

He gave his friend as smile, a real one, and said with conviction, "You look like a true Kunoichi."

(Naruto: Lord of Konoha by Andoriol; Category: Naruto)

Both Hidan and Kakuzu were breathless, the hunt having excited them so.

"Kakuzu, I see what you mean now. She was made for this world, not ours. She wouldn't be able to survive in a city. This is where she was meant to be. Jashin would be pleased if she chose to follow him."

"Hidan, I highly doubt she would follow your god even if she knew what you were saying. Now go down there and help her drag the deer up. It looks heavy."

(Rescue by gar-a-ash; Category: Naruto)

"You were so much cuter a couple hours ago…" Sakura murmured sleepily and shifted on the bed.

"Pardon?" Sasori asked with a raised eyebrow as he knelt beside her, "Never mind, you were training with Itachi. Strange things always occur with Itachi in the vicinity. Now show me your wounds Sakura."

(Behind by Somber of Secrets; Category: Naruto)

The part of him that Logan assumed would have been a pretty kick-ass father did not like this.

(Of Thieves and Leeches by Jamie Hook; Category: X-Men: The Movie)

"Rogue!"

"Hi, Kurt."

"Where are you?"

"Uh… well, Ah -"

"Everybody's here; we're all in the kitchen, and boy, is Logan mad. The Institute is a wreck, and the front lawn is totally trashed, but we totally kicked the Brotherhood's Wait - What? Oh, Logan says its completely Gambit's fault and he wants to know - What? - I am not telling her that - Hang on - Okay, okay: 'Rogue, are you okay we were worried sick what were you thinking?' His words, not mine."

"Well, Ah -"

"Wait - Really? I can't believe it. She wouldn't - What? No way!"

"Kurt?"

"Tell me you didn't run off with… run off with… Has he done anything to you, Rogue? I'll kill him."

"Kurt -"

"Just tell me where you are, exactly, and I'll 'port as close as I can... like on Gambit's head."

"Kurt, Ah'm fine. I'm in…"

"Hold on, Keetty! Rogue? Are you still there?"

"Kurt listen -"

"Stop it, Katchen! I said stop it! No, you can't have the phone! Ow! She bit me! Ow! Ow, that's my tail!"

"Kurt!"

"Not my tail!"

(More shouting.)

"Kurt? Kurt, are you alright?"

"Hang on, Rogue; Keetty wants to yell - I mean, she wants to talk to you."

"- I'll just be a second Professor, I swear! Rogue? Rogue, are you there?"

"Hey, Kit."

"Oh my gosh! You totally did not do what I think you did."

"What did Ah do?"

"Did Gambit, I mean, like, did Gambit, you know…"

"What? Kit - I can't hear ya - listen Ah'm on a public phone in -"

"Rogue? Rogue!"

"Kitty!"

"I can't hear her. She's breaking up… This phone totally sucks."

(Loud smacking sounds, much like a telephone being beaten against a countertop.)

"Kitty?"

"- Pass it over half-pint. Stripes? That you?"

"Logan! Finally, someone with enough sense ta listen..."

"The reception's garbage, kid. Can ya hear me?"

"Yeah, Ah can hear ya fine, Logan. Y'all okay over there?"

"We're just peachy. Are you all right? Where are you?"

"Ah'm in Virginia – listen, I was just calling ta say –"

"But you're not staying in Virginia, are you?"

"N-no, but listen, its fine, okay? Just trust me on this one. Ah don't know how long Ah'm going ta be, but Ah'll check in once we're settled, alright?"

"Where are you headed?"

"Logan? Ah don't like that tone you're using."

"Don't be smart with me, kid. Where's that damned Cajun taking you?"

"He's not –"

"Eh?"

"He's not 'that damned Cajun'. He's got a name."

"You don't sound so sure of yourself. What's he done? Tell him I'll rip him a new one if he thinks he can get away with this."

"Logan! It was my choice."

"Logan did you just snort at me?"

"Sorry, kid. Kurt's shedding… Elf, if you flick me in the face with your tail one more time…"

"Logan! Y'all gotta relax. Gambit's… Gambit's…"

"What's he done? If he's laid one stinking, slimy finger on you…"

"It was nothing she couldn't handle, mon ami."

"(Indecipherable snarling.)"

"Bonjour, Monsieur Wolverine -"

"- Swamp rat! Give me back that damned phone!"

"Désolé, chérie. Let th' grown-ups discuss this. Wolvie? That you? Don't growl at me, homme, that's impolite."

"If you hurt her, Cajun, I have no trouble turning you into a shish kebab. Ya hear me, bub?"

"Logan?"

"Stripes? Steal the phone back? Good."

"Yeah, sorry. He's just peachy - Gambit, I mean."

"Sounds to me like Gumbo's being grabby. Tell him to keep his paws off ya if he knows what's good for him. Where can we pick you up?"

"Ya can't."

"What?"

"Ah told you, this is my decision. I'll be home soon. I just needed ta let ya'll know that Ah'm fine."

"This isn't kosher, Rogue."

"Look - y'all keep telling me that Ah've gotta sort out my own business, be more responsible, and Ah'm trying to but –"

"Rogue! OHMYGOD!"

"Kitty?"

"Like, Mr. Logan dropped the phone. Apparently he can't hold the receiver when he pops a claw... So, is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Oh, don't sound so paranoid! This is so romantic, like – the cards, Rogue! I didn't understand what you were talking about, you know, when the Brotherhood was attacking us and all – but now I get it! I mean, it is a little creepy, what with him sneaking around and all – don't you think that's a bit, you know, risky? Whatever. Don't answer that. Did he want to meet for a secret rendezvous? That's why he left you the King of Hearts! It makes so much sense now – you being all secretive and grumpy when he wasn't around –"

"What? NO! No, it ain't like that at all –"

"You are so totally lying right now!"

"Kitty!"

"It's just so sweet! He went to all that trouble just to get your attention. What kind of guy does that?"

"Lance knocked ya on your ass enough times for you ta know, Kit –"

"That's not in the same context at all. Like, you know that I know that he knows that by doing that he totally has a thing for you."

"Rogue? Are you still there?"

"Ah'm trying ta decipher what you just said, Kit –"

"Oh, whatever. The point is that this is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done in like, the history of Bayville."

"Ah take it the Brotherhood didn't tear down the mansion?"

"What? No, of course not. Like they stood a chance. They weren't too happy when they left, though. OW! Mr. Logan!"

(Sounds of a struggle in the background.)

"YA HEAR THAT SWAMP RAT? AH'M NOT GONNA KICK YO' ASS FOR DESTROYIN' MY HOME!"

(Distant laughter.)

"Stripes?"

"Hi, Logan."

"I can hear ya blushing from here, Rogue."

"Ah am most definitely not blushing."

"Oui, she is. It's sorta cute."

"GAMBIT!"

"CAJUN! You keep your distance from that girl or your skin will decorate the seat of my motorbike! It needs reupholstering!"

"Geez, Logan, stop yellin' please. No, swamp rat, Ah'm not tellin' him that! Go use the other phone if ya need ta yammer at someone… No, not that one… Farther. Ah said farther! Can't ya give a girl some privacy? Damnit! Ah swear as soon as Ah find somethin' ta throw at ya Ah'm gonna blow ya ta kingdom come!"

"Rogue?"

"Professor? Oh my gawd, did y'all just hear that?"

"That's quite alright, Rogue. I'm certain I will regain the use of my left ear later this afternoon. Logan, are you still on the line in the kitchen?"

"Hey, Chuck. Yep."

"I'd like to speak with Rogue for a moment privately, if I may."

"Me and Gumbo were having words, Charles."

"I'm afraid that will have to wait. Would you…?"

"He's gone, Logan. Ah made him go to the far side of the building. Ah think he's callin' his MAWMAW! BECAUSE HE'S GONNA NEED HIS MAWMAW WHEN AH'M DONE WITH HIM!"

"You tell him, Stripes. Chuck? I think I do feel a bit better about this situation now."

(The Ante by Lucia de'Medici; Category: X-men Evolution)

"Maybe we can tie her up or do something better… maybe kill her?"

"Yes, that's exactly what we'll do, yeah, after all we are six inches tall and half a pound each we could totally take her, un" Deidara said sarcastically staring at Kakuzu who was to his left.

"Shut it at least I'm trying to think of a plan" Kakuzu said smacking his paw on the floor glaring at the blond kitten.

"I don't think it's that bad" Kisame said looking at the other kittens.

"Yeah, you're wearing pants not a frilly pink dress!" Kakuzu shouted gesturing at the clothes Kaida had put them in.

"Haaaa Tobi feels pretty" The tabby said bounding around the front room making the blue dress he was in billow out.

(KittyCATtastrophe by Gaara's panda-hime; Category: Naruto)

"It does not matter. I have already prepared your punishment; you are to double your duties." Byakuya ordered.

Yuzu blinked, "It doesn't sound so bad…" She muttered.

"Excuse me?" Byakuya narrowed my eyes.

"Uh, I mean how terrible! What a tragic fate! Oh my god! More work! How can I ever survive? This…This is cruelty! Beyond humanity! Nooooooo! Why meeeeeee?" Yuzu wailed.

"Cease your acting and do your job." Byakuya ordered.

(Pursue my happy exit by DaRkZeRoGaL; Category: Bleach)

Kenshin stared at the lifeless body at his feet and shook his head at the triumphant expression on Kuwairo's face when the girl suddenly collapsed.

"She didn't faint because of her fear for you, Kuwairo, she passed out from the lack of oxygen," reminded Kenshin, ignoring his pet's glare when he uncaringly crushed its ego.

(A Dragon's Love by BattousaisGrrl; Category: Rurouni Kenshin)

"Dude, you're some kinda crazy!" Kiba screamed at the odd faceless man.

"Tell me what you know!" insisted his captor, shining the blinding light at the chunin's face. "You can't hide the truth from me! What is NASA doing with those shoelaces? And why are the Girl Scouts suddenly adding 'new organic ingredients' to their cookies? What do they have planned?"

(Connecting the Dots by Afalstein; Category: Naruto & Justice League Crossover)

'You fly well, Son,' he sent mentally.

Even as Vader sensed his son's joy at the compliment, Luke replied cheerfully, 'Just trying to get away from you, Father.'

(For Family by Nanuk888; Category: Star Wars)

I don't care, darling. Jon needs to accept the fact that Lenore is obviously going to be a tall, drop-dead gorgeous guy magnet when she hits about sixteen, with sexy curves, full lips, and everything." Ivey explained.

"Hey Red, I don't think you're, uh, helping very much." Joker cackled, pointing at Jonathan, who had an incredibly deadly expression on his face as he stared at Lenore's picture.

"Sixteen, you say? That's plenty of time to kill every man on earth…" he whispered darkly, no sign of sarcasm in his voice. Joker and Riddler froze.

(Lenore by Raven Lenore Robins; Category: Batman Begins/Dark Knight)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

More Than No Good by KuraiArcoiris reviews
Reborn had never disagreed with any of the ninth's decisions, but when the Vongola boss sent him to Japan to train Sawada Tamaki, the hitman started to think that the ninth had chosen the wrong twin…
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 58 - Words: 298,320 - Reviews: 3274 - Favs: 3,329 - Follows: 3,016 - Updated: 4/13 - Published: 2/2/2012 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S., Reborn
Surrogate by Built on the Horizon reviews
'Who was that pointy-eared bastard' McCoy asked. 'He's not a bastard.' Jim said sharply, watching the Vulcan as he moved off. 'He's my brother.'
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 45,494 - Reviews: 851 - Favs: 936 - Follows: 1,317 - Updated: 3/21 - Published: 1/12/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
A Foxy Marine by MangaFreak15 reviews
Naruto never got the chance to become a genin. Instead, he is whisked away from the Elemental Nations by a man named Monkey D. Garp, and forced to become his apprentice. Look out world; Uzumaki D. Naruto has arrived.
Crossover - Naruto & One Piece - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,990 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 3/15/2014 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Naruto U., Garp
Kin by Amatista reviews
The human niece of Ambassador Sarek and the late Amanda Grayson has been orphaned, and brought to Vulcan II to be cared for. While there, it will not only be her uncle and cousin who learn more about what it means to be human, but also she...
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 53,793 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 12/12/2013 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Sarek, Spock
The Dragon King's Temple by Kryal reviews
The spite of the spirits opened a door better left untouched. On the other hand, with Fire and Earth as one's allies, sometimes escaping is the easy part.
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 212,762 - Reviews: 1133 - Favs: 1,342 - Follows: 730 - Updated: 9/10/2013 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Complete
White Hair by alterego94 reviews
During the fight with Mizuki, something happens. The short exposure to Kyuubi's chakra alters Naruto's dormant genes, making them more dominant and unlocking his Bloodlimit. But how will Kimimaro react when he recieves word that another Kaguya lives?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 50,709 - Reviews: 674 - Favs: 1,605 - Follows: 1,867 - Updated: 8/17/2013 - Published: 12/23/2007 - Naruto U., Kimimaro
Foothold Situation by Lady FoxFire reviews
SG-1/TF - A Foothold Situation is something that every member of SGC fear. So when news about a possible situation in a small town called Tranquility is heard there is nothing to do but investigate and pray.
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Transformers - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,008 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 452 - Updated: 6/29/2013 - Published: 1/26/2009 - J. O'Neill, Sam W.
Meeting The 10th Generation by mangaanime15 reviews
Giotto makes a wish. He wants to meet the future generation of Vongola. He gets his wish. Unfortunately, the future generation gives him uneasy feeling especially their boss.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 38 - Words: 86,678 - Reviews: 1493 - Favs: 1,632 - Follows: 1,533 - Updated: 4/26/2013 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S., Giotto/Ieyasu S./Vongola I/Vongola Primo
The Panther and The Kitten by EndlessLove14 reviews
Yuzu dies and when she awakens, she finds herself in Hueco Mundo, as a fraccion for the Sexta Espada Grimmjow. Oh, how will this little kitten survive beside the mighty Panther.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,494 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/5/2013 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Grimmjow J., Yuzu K.
Fox Leaves by AyumiFallassion reviews
What if the Kyuubi never attacked? What if peace talks with Cloud started much earlier? What if, Hinata wasn't the only one they were after? Based off the storyline set down by Lizeth.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 48,775 - Reviews: 745 - Favs: 1,047 - Follows: 1,106 - Updated: 2/20/2013 - Published: 10/7/2007 - Naruto U., Gaara, Kyuubi/Kurama, Shukaku
Konoha: At His Fingertips by MegaB reviews
Bereft of dreams, adrift in the World, what's a guy to do when his life comes crashing down? Seize it in his hands of course! Big pieces begin to move and Naruto makes his decision; this is his World, Dattebayo!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 30,331 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 1,223 - Follows: 1,418 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Naruto U.
Famiglia by Demonic Dawn reviews
Tsunayoshi Sawada is an ingenious yet apathetic 5 year old girl that meets her connections with the Vongola early on and it will affect her future forever, preparing her for the daunting tasks she'll face.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 66,492 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 686 - Follows: 683 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S.
How to Properly Care for Your Baby Flash by thingamawhatsit reviews
Young Justice takes on the Rogues. It doesn't go exactly how they expected. Originally on the yj anon meme.
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,230 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 453 - Follows: 70 - Published: 11/23/2011 - Wally W./Kid Flash - Complete
He Calls It Investing in the Future by thingamawhatsit reviews
The children have so much potential but their role models are absolutely horrendous. So Lex decides the best solution is to spoil them rotten. Emphasis on rotten. Originally on the yj anon meme.
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,262 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 49 - Published: 11/22/2011 - Complete
Scorpion's Disciple by nobody102 reviews
AU. Orochimaru's resignation from Akatsuki is more intense than in canon, resulting in a meeting between young Naruto and Sasori… Slow buildup. Last chapter is a summary, technically not complete.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 149,612 - Reviews: 2247 - Favs: 4,587 - Follows: 3,255 - Updated: 10/17/2011 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
Long Live the King by Jade Tatsu reviews
According to Rayleigh, Gol D. Roger never called himself the Pirate King but someone must have. What are the exact requirements to be the Pirate King? The Gorosei has a list and one Pirate fits all the requirements. Longer summary inside...
One Piece - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,000 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 474 - Follows: 85 - Published: 10/10/2011 - Luffy, Whitebeard - Complete
Silence of Mimes by Corona 1 reviews
A young runaway is taken in by V, who steadily becomes the father figure she has always needed. This is her story, the story of Mime. Based on the Movie. Rated T to be safe
V for Vendetta - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 32,957 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 12/14/2010 - Published: 11/14/2008
Daddy Dearest by Nidia.Ceylon reviews
She would always be daddy's little girl, and he would always be her hero no matter how much wrong he did.
Crossover - Inuyasha & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,567 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 307 - Follows: 54 - Published: 12/1/2010 - Kagome H., Madara U. - Complete
25 Reasons Star Trek is Cooler than Twilight by scrambled-eggs-at-midnight reviews
Exactly what it says on the tin. Not really 2009-specific.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Complete
Konoha: Naruto's Playground by MegaB reviews
When Naruto finally decides that the Konoha populace doesn't deserve his protection, he moves to another goal...Have fun! But his fun turns to fear when his vow to never fight as a Shinobi is broken.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 53 - Words: 291,882 - Reviews: 4016 - Favs: 3,491 - Follows: 2,057 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
Bushido: Way of the Warrior by Zhenzao reviews
They were never supposed to meet; Naruto, the lonely Jinchuriki of Konoha & Kisame of the Akatsuki & yet, a chance encounter between the two sets a phrophecy in motion. Only time will tell whether Naruto will be a saviour or a destroyer. -AU- Pls. R&R
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 37,304 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 454 - Follows: 534 - Updated: 4/30/2010 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Naruto U., Kisame H.
Vatican Clan by Spaztic Arwen reviews
Van Helsing's latest assignment to destroy a clan of gargoyles ends in massacre because of his new partner's vendetta. Now, he must redeem himself by protecting the child whose clan he helped destroy, and an old friend marked for the kill by the Order.
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,061 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/5/2009 - Published: 8/12/2004 - Van Helsing, Frankenstein
Harry's Little Army of Psychos by RuneWitchSakura reviews
Oneshot from Ron’s POV. Ron tries to explain to the twins just how Harry made the Ministry of Magic make a new classification for magical creatures, and why the puffskeins were now considered the scariest magical creature of all time. No pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,308 - Reviews: 593 - Favs: 4,095 - Follows: 616 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
० K a z o k u ० by m o o g l e d a i m e reviews
i n u ჯ n a r u t o —ღ— Ordinary kids bring home stray dogs or homeless cats. The Yondaime's children attract visiting shinigami, demons, and devoted followers swearing their eternal service. —ஐ— neji º sasuke • • \ kagome ო itachi /
Crossover - Inuyasha & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 123,677 - Reviews: 827 - Favs: 635 - Follows: 551 - Updated: 1/4/2008 - Published: 12/17/2006 - Kagome H., Itachi U.
Scales and a Tail by Halfling reviews
Unfinished. The Scales is a secret Slytherin society within Hogwarts. Its male only policy must change for an upcoming event, and Draco grudgingly recruits Hermione. This choice contributes to something more important than imagined.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 100,073 - Reviews: 4018 - Favs: 2,451 - Follows: 2,173 - Updated: 6/1/2007 - Published: 4/16/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M.
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