Effective 6-29-2010= Changed PenName to XxMzMaryJaneWhitlockxX

Jasper Hale Whitlock

You are Jasper Hale Whitlock. You are very charismatic and have an uncanny ability to put others at ease. You are also a dependable leader and intuitive friend. You have a hard time ignoring temptation, as you are not naturally inclined to repress the way you feel.

Control of EmotionsYou can change a persons emotion with your mind. You can also feel anothers emotions very strongly. No glitches, no loopholes. You have a good deal. You are moderately strong. Advice: Be careful of the enviroments, atmosphers, and people you hang around. They will affect you greatly.

Control of people

Your power is mind control! You can force people (or vampires) to do your bidding. You simply think a command to them, and they will follow it. You are the master, and the world is your slave. Have fun with your new power!

My Twilight Vampire Power is Invisibility

While vampires traditionally are known for having no reflection, Twilight vampires do have a reflection. Your ability goes beyond the known powers of Twilight vampires. In your human form, you are shy, and have a hard time letting others see the real you. When you become a vampire, you will have the unique ability to make yourself completely invisible.

Animology: What animal are you?

Result: Teal Cat

You're the Teal Kitty Cat! You're as swift and sly as a ninja and very hard to please. You can be very soft yet very cruel at the same time. Your soul mate is the beige racoon and you're in conflict with the red jaguar.

What type of person do you attract?

Your Result: You attract artsy people!

Those free spirited artists with great imaginations find you interesting. They are usually interesting themselves, so its not a bad thing, but they CAN be a bit wifty and choose odd goals. If you like life to always be a bit 'different' from the norm, but not too extreme in any one direction, these are the people for you. If you seek logical decision making skills and good money management, you may want to change something in the way you appear. Artsy people are fun for adventure and exploring, so, have fun! (smoking weed helps too)

Mary Jane result: PURPLE

You are very spontaneous; you have a quick and original mind that knows no boundaries. You are comparatively conservative and appreciate beautiful surroundings, especially in nature. You are relaxed and self-assured. You work well with others. You are a unique individual, and have unusual tastes, but you're quite comfortable among more conservative peers.

Hey wat's up Im MzWhitlock here to write some Fanfictions here are the catogories I will be writng in unless you guys give me a challange or sumthin

Catogories:

Jasper/Bella

Edward/Bella

Sesshomaru/Kagome

Edward/Alice

Shippo/Kirara

Uhm im very easily distracted so sum of the storys wont make sense. And i aint afraid of no haters I welcome them the haters got 2 hate. Uhh i luv music, smokin bud, readin, pissin people off, and chillin with the homies. Inuyasha and Twilight are my favorites and I loved Harry Potter since the beginning, he's the best. Uhhh i guess thats about it. I also like a book series call Warrior Cats so sum fanfiction there 2.

True Friendship:

Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be if you don't quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

Remember...A good friend will help you move...a

REALLY good friend will help you move a body...let me know if you ever need

me to bring a shovel.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. Lol

DONT LIKE ME? Hold A SEC!
LOADING
█Attempting 2 Give a FCK
██ ERROR
█████Mission Failed

╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it to

96 of teens won't stand up for God. Put this on you page if you're one of the 4 who will.

...
... Put this on your
... page if you have
...O ever pushed a
...door that said pull.
...

a guy and a girl were speeding on a motorcycle over 90mph
girl:slow down,im scared
guy:no,this is fun
girl:no its not please your really scaring me
guy:then tell me you love me
girl:fine,i love you slow down!
guy:now give me a big hug girl hugs him
guy:can you take off my helmet & put it on yourself?its bugging me.
(in the paper next morning)a motorcycle crashed into the side of a building because of brake failure.two people were on it,but only one survived.the truth was that half way down the road the guy realized that his breaks went out but he did not want to let the girl know.instead he had her say she loved him felt her hug one last time & then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
if u love someone this much copy this to your page

98 of teenagers say "I Love You" and don't mean it. If you are one of the 2 that does, copy and paste this on your profile.

Girl: Do i ever cross your mind
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or ur life
Boy: my life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life!!

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

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If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and prode of it, put this in your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrolably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile

If you pray that Jasper takes off his shirt in he fight scene in eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Jasper absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like your men (or women for those male readers) cold, dead, and sparkling, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Seriously wtf?)

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the sairs copy this on your profile

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile.

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile

If you KNOW the voice in your head is real, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you are insanely weird, copy this into your profile.

If gum has ever fallen out of your mouth while you were talking, copy this into your profile

If gum has ever fallen out of your mouth when you weren't talking, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever put an ipod up to your ear to listen to the music, copy this into your profile. (don't ask)

If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy this into your profile

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit

She ended up staying longer than
planned, and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed a man standing at the end as though he
were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and security wrapped round her, she felt as
though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she walked right past the man and arrived
home safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same
alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the fact that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help this young woman, she decided to go to the
police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the man she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified, he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and asked if there was anything they could do
for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe in
God..

So there was this missionary in Africa and he finds two guys fighting. So he breaks up the fight and one guy needs to go to the doctor so the missionary pays for it.
So the other guy is mad at the missionary for breaking up the fight so he gets a group together to attack him at night, but they leave without hurting him. Later on they tell him that they were going to attack him but he had twenty six shining gaurds with him. But he objects saying he was alone that night.

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
good people get helped. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers will not stand up for God? Please reposte the as Pray For God

If you belive in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!!

(I am soooo still 5, like it's not even funny :p)

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

friends are God's way of apologizing for family

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

my friends say 'look a birdy' behind me in the lunch room then my goldfish are gone!!

people like u r the reasons we have middle fingers

your a great friend but, if zombies are chasing us im triping you...

But if vampires r chasing us, trip me, i'll b fine!

good friends dont let you do stupid this...alone

No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you

i am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

“Yes she will! Bella loves me! Cause I’m her secret lover that’s carrying her love child!” Emmett screamed. (Quot from: Fate by bobbypigirl101)

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

-I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!-

-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls...and pulls...people...and off the occasional cliff

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

One for the Girls!!
1) A couple is lying on the bed. The man says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
2) Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN.
3) What does it mean if a man is in your bed gasping for breath and screaming your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. (this one is just hilarious)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

If you have a really bad memory, copy and...what was I doing again?

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. Definitely me without a doubt.

If you've ever walked into a door (or lampost) copy this onto your profile.I've done both several times.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

Stupid Racist People...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

If you ever HAVE slapped someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want the actors and celebrities of Hollywood to be smarter and better role models, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. (all the time)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying 'Damn! That was fun!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile

If you solemly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If your unpopular and had a a friend who's popular and you aren't friends anymore post this on your profile

Child Abuse:

My name is Sarah, I am but three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid, I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mummy

Would still want to hug me

I can't speak at all I can't do a thing wrong

Or else I'm locked up all the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just-

Don't make a sound! I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar I hear him curse

My name he calls I press myself

Against the wall I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more, I finally get free

And I run for the door

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me against the hard wall I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken, and my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken "I'm sorry!", I scream

But its was much too late

His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah and I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Please, be aware that child abuse happens everyday, and it's not just physical, it's emotional too, and sometimes that hurts more than a beating from your parents. Physical abuse scars you on the outside and that pain will go away, but emotional abuse scars you on the inside and the pain of being called worthless never goes away. So please, help stop the abuse.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...(taken from Sir Spamalots profile)

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get pissed and throw a fit until all the people in the room run away whenever someone says that the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this into your profile.

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy this into your profile. (This one better spread like wildfire.)

if you think twilight is the best book in the world and most of the people who haven't read it are morons and losers copy and paste this on your profile and add your name Italiangurlinamessedupworld the epitome of randomness, Princess of blah blah blah, CocktailGirl27,XxMzMaryJanexX

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

The Review Revolution...

Even if the fic has 10002464 reviews already...

Even if the fic is older than time itself...

Even if it was abandoned a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago...

Even if the author turned out to be a total psychopath...

Even if the OC is a Sue and the spelling would make a dictionary cry...

I will review every fic I read. What goes around comes around, and more people will review my own fics. I have joined (another) Review Revolution

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (as long as its in a movie or cartoon though)

If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a Nintendo fan to your very core, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!)

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile. (yes... TV... the game Atmosphere... stupid gate keeper... -_-)

30 reasons why girls are the best:

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. It took the vilest, most evil creature in the universe to convince Eve to eat the apple but it only took a woman to convince Adam.

Hail 'em ladies, betches!

Smart-ass Comebacks to those Corny Pick-up Lines:

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life: in your wildest dreams.
HE: Your place or mine?
SHE: Both, you go to yours and I'll go to mine.
HE: Does beauty run in your family?
SHE: Well it obviously doesn't run in yours.
HE: I can see forever in your eyes.
SHE: But all I can see is never in yours.
HE: I looked up beatiful today in the thesaurus and your name was included.
SHE: Thanks! I saw your name next to jerk.
HE: You're like a dream.
SHE: Go back to sleep.
HE: What do I have to give you for one little kiss?
SHE: Chloroform.
HE: I want to give myself to you.
SHE: Sorry, but I don't accept cheap gifts.
HE: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
SHE: Yeah, but this time, don't stop.
HE: I think you're th best looking girl here.
SHE: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then.
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Sure, but only if you buy my girlfriend one too.

I'm not lesbian, but this was fucking funny =))

I Have A Few Questions . . .

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Do stairs go up or down?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

When French people swear do they say “Pardon my English?”

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

Strangers have the best candy . . .

There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!

A day without sunshine is, like, you know, night

I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing .

Idiots surround me!

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost, took a wrong turn, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Support publik edekasion

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The more I learn, the less I understand.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses!

WARNING: mental backup in progress.

You have been a naughty boy, go to my room!

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

You’re just jealous that the Voices only speak to me.

Your village called, their idiot is missing.

Before you criticize someone always walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes

Reality bites with a variety of sizes of teeth.

Snowflakes are some of the most fragile things in the world but looks what happens when they stick together.

Fashion is a type of ugliness so intolerable, that we have to change it every 6 months.

It's not cheating unless you get caught and if you get caught, lie through your teeth.

Live long and prosper or live short and don't prosper . . . whichever works for you.

It's better to keep silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubts.

My head may be cracked but my insanity is still intact!

That’s it! I give up! There’s no talking to you people! And you wonder why I’m arrogant! If the rest of you weren’t such idiots, I might not feel so superior!

Society is thick, Normality is overrated, Lunacy is underestimated, and in the midst of it all, I remain relatively sane.

If you do that I will kill you, then I will reincarnate you and kill you again!

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Skill is being able to walk across Niagara Falls on a tightrope. Intelligence is not trying.

Nice try, but you can't fool a fool.

Nothing is impossible. Some things are just improbable.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – the fear of long words.

My mind works like lightning . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone.

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'? ‘Congress’?

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Procrastinate now, don't procrastinate!

Boys make good pets . . .

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you do succeed, try not to look too surprised.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think you’re on drugs.

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

Where there's a will, there's a way. And where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road.

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love . . . it never seems to last.

Life's tough: get a helmet!

I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he’s lost?

Normal people worry me.

You say psycho like it's a bad thing.

Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do.

I'm going to live life or die trying

We didn’t lose . . . we just ran out of time

Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license.

If you die, I'll kill you!

Live dangerous . . . run with scissors.

I find "Good morning" contradictory. (Well, most people do anyways . . .)

My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?

Don't hate yourself in the morning . . . sleep till noon.

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Guys should be like lattes: rich, strong, and hot!

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

1 out of every 4 people is insane. Look at your three best friends; if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, damn I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.

It's always the last place you look . . . well of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.

I agree with the dictionary; girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys: useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Come join the dark side: we have cookies.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Everyone has a wild side – me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder) and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Music is like candy – you throw away the rappers.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Boys that make you cry aren't worth crying over; boys that are worth crying over won't make you cry.

Life's like a book. Every time it gets good, you get interrupted.

There's a fine line between insanity and genius. You're flirting with it.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results

Life's a blast. Be yourself, and make it a BOOM!!

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions . . . So is the road to Heaven paved with bad intentions?

Ever wondered what that noise is after you pulled the trigger and everthing gets suddenly quiet? That was your concience saying "Oh FU - !!, Goddamn it! I can’t believe the dumbass did it!!

Every time someone gets higher in the food chain someone else has to get lower. So stay where you belong and my life will be less troublesome.

Good News, I'm still technically alive.

May god have mercy on your soul, for I have none for you.

I, like god, do not deal in dice and do not believe in coincidence.

I killed you ten minutes ago, while you slept.

What's the difference between an Emo and my lawn? My lawn doesn't cut itself.

Four out of five voices in my head say 'Go for it'.

I don't suffer from INSANITY, I enjoy every minute of it

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re abusing the right.

Evil squirrels are after my nuts.

One by one the penguins are stealing my sanity

Nobody is perfect. I am a nobody. Therefore, I am perfect.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then go find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party.

If practice makes perfect but nobody’s perfect, why practice?

Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early do.

Every person alive is insane, but most people aren't aware of it.

I am not racist. I hate everyone equally.

This won't hurt a bit. I won't feel a thing.

If at first you don't succeed, lower your expectations.

All I'm saying is your playing with your own lives. I will ride this piano back to Manhattan. When the ship goes down, screw the lifeboats, I have dibs on the big chunk of wood.

I'm going to kill you so dead, you'll wish you were never born alive.

God hates people who say 'God'. God.

What, something's broken and it's not your fault?
I know, I'm scared too.

Does a fall kill you?
No, but the stop at the bottom might.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Happiness is the dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Everyone else may love you, but I still think you’re a moron.

This isn’t a classroom, it’s hell with fluorescent lighting.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to sing it.

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I’ll put shoes on my cat.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

Whatever look you were going for, you missed.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

By starting this pointless squabble you've done nothing but reveal just how vast your stupidity is.

Could you be...a little less talk and a little bit more "shut the hell up?".

We stole the Eagle from the Air Force, the Anchor from the Navy, and the rope from the Army. On the 7th day, while God rested, we overran his perimeter and stole the Globe, and we've been running the show ever since. We live like soldiers and talk like sailors and slap the hell out of both of them. Soldier by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice, Marine by GOD!

When in doubt, whip it out – empty the magazine!

You, you, and you . . . panic. The rest of you, come with me . . . !

I don't give a rat's ass about going to hell.

I swear to drunk I'm not God.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

That was crazy I hope I didn't brain my damage.

If living means that I must bow down to you guys, I'll happily stand tall and die!

"We were told to kill you on sight."
"I was told where your mate and offspring reside."
"Welcome to America. Enjoy your stay."

I'm no physician, but there appears to be a dagger through my chest.

Bad news Cale. I'm afraid your position as my closest and dearest companion is being replaced by the fellow who just tackled a dragon

A mountain that eats people . . . I want one

I don't do well with authority. Is that going to be a problem?

If I had no sense of humor then I would have committed suicide long ago

If ignorance is bliss then you must be orgasmic

Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

If at first you don't succeed . . . go back and reload the gun.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot
Warning: Survivors will be shot again

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat

There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

If it's stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid

Shoot first, shoot later, shoot again, then when everyone's dead, try to ask a question or two

If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough of it.

I'm not littering . . . I'm donating to the Earth.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.

Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Life is like robbing a bank; so worth the while!

You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there

Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there are footprints on the moon

Don't look at me with that tone of voice!

It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet

He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own

He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness

Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable

Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

You've gotta die in creative ways.

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck. Then the truck backed up and ran them over again.

If it's not nailed down, it's fair game.

To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy

When in doubt, use brute force. When that doesn't work . . . RUN LIKE HELL!

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up.

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.

Push something hard enough and it will fall.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified.

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum

Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Therapist = The/rapist. Scary thought . . .

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.

'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.'

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Shit happens, find a toilet

Life’s a bitch, put it on a leash.

Who says beggars can’t be choosers, I could have just robbed you

When life throws you lemons, cut’em open and squirt the juice in its eye.

When life throws you lemons, throw a brick back.

When life throws you lemons, throw them at someone else.

When life throws you lemons, throw them back twice as hard.

When life gives you shit…Put it in a bag and set it on fire.

1.Turn on your play list on shuffle

2. Answer each question with the title of the play list song next.

1) How am I feeling today

Vampires will never hurt you By My Chemical Romance. Tee-Hee

2)Where will you get married

So I thought By Flyleaf I don’t get it

3) What is my best friends theme song

Fireflies By Owl City Yay that’s funny

4) What is was high school like

Say something By Drake and Timberland. Awesome hope so ^_^

5) What is the best thing about me

How Low By Ludacris and Shawna

6) What is today gong to be like

My Immortal By Evanessance

7) What is in store this weekend

Bitches By Hollywood Undead Awesome!!

8) What song describes my parents

My chick bad By Ludacris and Nicki Minaj. That’s funny they hate this song! ^_^

9) How is my life going

I’m Awesome by Spose. Listen to it that’s me to a T

10) What song will play at my funeral

The warning (Mariah discs) By Eminem O_O

11) How does the world see me

For your entertainment By Adam Lambert. Oh im entertaining ^_^

12) What do my friends think about me

I’m so sick By flyleaf _^

13) Do people secretly like me

Everybody’s fool By Evanessance. Guess that’s what I am

14) How can I make myself happy

Over and Over By Nelly And Tim McGraw

15) What should I do with my life

Imma be By The Black Eyed Peas. Sounds promising

16) Will I be happy

I miss you By Blink-182. So I guess that’s a no

17) What is some good advice

Dance floor anthem By Good Charlotte. Good I don’t wanna be in love either

18) What do I think my current theme song is

Perfect By Flyleaf. Hmm true

19) What does everyone think my theme song is

Keep holding on By Avril Lavinge. Guess to people I must be sad

20) what type of men/woman do you like

Wasteland By 10 years.

21) Will you get married

Guilty Conscience By Eminem. Hmm guessing Ill get out by murder

22) What should I do with my love life

On My Own By Three Days Grace. Be Alone cause of myself

23) Where will you live

I’m sorry By Flyleaf. In present times, in sorrow and regret

24) What will be your last words

Do you Wanna Fuck By BYZ. Hmm O_O

25) Am I hot

For your Entertainment By Adam Lambert. Guess so

26) What are your Hobbies

There for you By Flyleaf. Helping people I guess.

27) Do you like sports

Miss Murder By AFI. I guess if killing people is considered a sport

28) So you talk a lot

Say Something By Drake and Timberland

29) Do you like books

Red Sam By Flyleaf. I’m going to take that as a yes!!

30) Do you like yourself

Breathe today By Flyleaf. I don’t live up to my own standards

25 Things I Learnt From My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Here's some more stuff to know!! ^_^

Fav Band-Three Days Grace

Fav Food-Oranges

Fav Thing to do-Chill with the homies, or read a good fanfic

Fav color-Silver, Purple, Blue, and Black

Fav Song-Do You Wanna Fuck BYZ

Fav Twilight Character-Bella, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Peter, Charllotte, and Garrett

Fav Inuyasha Characters-Sesshomaru, Kagome, Naraku, Shippo, Kirara, Rin, And Midoriko

Fav Quotes

"You shut your mouth when your talking to me"

"If ignorance is bliss, some people live in fucking disney land"

"BAM!! A Penny!!"

"Call the FBI, dial F-B-I and you tell them i fell down the stairs"

"you son of a biscuit eating bulldog you didn't think i'd find out about your little doodoo head cootie queen, 'who are you calling a cootie queen you lint licker!' Pickle you kumquat!"