Runt Thunderbelch
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Joined 01-11-10, id: 2212677, Profile Updated: 12-11-12
Author has written 31 stories for Casablanca, Mummy, South Park, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Incredibles, Misc. Movies, Total Recall, 1990, Last Action Hero, Star Wars, Discworld, Big Bang Theory, and StarTrek: The Original Series.

Me: An American ex-pat, living on a far-away tropical island.

THUNDERBELCHES:

Most Popular: Rules for Being Captain Jack Sparrow

Biggest Surprise: Grandpa Incredible
(Most FanFictioneers are teens. Who'd have thought they'd love a story about a retiree?)

Biggest Disappointment: We're Off to See the Wizard, a South Park Musical.
(It's about South Park, yet not a single review [sniff].)

Most Fun: Swashbuckling

Best Review Received: Vena the Raven-Haired: Tomb Raider.
(I loved this story to the extreme! Clever, brilliant and excessively funny!
The characters here were impressive, and the plot was amazing. The use of You
Bastard, too, was ingenious. Amazing story, brilliant writing!)

Most "I Always Wanted to Do That": Fact: Buried beneath Los Angeles is a multi-million dollar treasure which kills anyone who gets near it. I was able to include it as a central aspect of Last Action Girlfriend.

Greatest Writing Frenzy: 6 DiscWorld stories, totaling 57,201 words in just the 7 weeks between 9-18-11 and 11-6-11.

COMPLETED STORIES (BY CATEGORY):


Pirates of the Caribbean:

... Rules for Being Captain Jack Sparrow

... Seaman Jack Sparrow

... Back from the Dead, Yo Ho Yo Ho

... Captain Jack Sparrow Must Die

... The Greatest Love of Captain Jack Sparrow

... Raid on Nassautown

... The Sins of Captain Jack Sparrow

... Captain Jack Sparrow on the Virtues of a Married Woman

... POTC: Finding Johnny Depp

DiscWorld:

... Something Winged this Way Comes

... The Count of Monte Gribeau

... Stealing Time

... Vena the Raven-Haired, Tomb Raider

... The De Quirm Code

... Ali Badhboi and the 39 Thieves

... The Interment Net

... The Hogfather and the Patrician

... Miss Susan's Hogwatch

Schwarzenegger:

... Recall Unreality

... Last Action Girlfriend

Harry Potter & Star Wars:

... Star Wands

...Hogwarts, an Alternative History


The Incredibles:

... Grandpa Incredible

... Boss Hogg


Scorpion King:

... Return from the Valley of the Dead

South Park:

... Off to See the Wizard, a South Park Musical

Casablanca:

... The Lady is a Spy

Earth Girls are Easy:

... Earth Girls are 2 Easy

Removed Stories:

"Swashbuckling" I've cannibalized this story for use in an original novel I'm writing.

"Is He in Hell, That Demmed Elusive Pimpernel?" I doubt I'll ever finish it.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Zoo Tales by A.A. Pessimal reviews
Posibly the beginning of a new cycle set in the City Zoo. No sex except for the animals and not much swearing. Though watch where you stand...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 28,457 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/8/2014 - Published: 10/22/2011
Dear Fanfiction Writers TOS style! by Zelda12343 reviews
Carrying over a popular idea from the Harry Potter fanbase begun by H O R I Z O N S! So what do the TOS characters have to say to these common fanfiction ideas? Read to find out!
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 5,612 - Reviews: 412 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 6/13/2013 - Published: 1/15/2012
Distinctions by CoffeeWench reviews
Teatime decides to go and get a life, and since Susan took the first one, it's only right she should be made to help. Major revisions 07/12.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 89,081 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/10/2012 - Published: 10/8/2011 - Jonathan T., Susan Sto Helit - Complete
From Dust to Flesh: Myria LeJean Book 1 by OldStoneface reviews
Once upon a time, the Auditors committed the ultimate arrogance and created life. But the Auditor inside 'Lady Myria LeJean' soon discovered that the flesh shapes the mind as the mind controls the flesh, and learned why living is so hard to set aside. Cover art by shiolein.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 59,871 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/31/2012 - Published: 10/10/2011 - M. LeJean, Susan Sto Helit, OC, Sam Vimes - Complete
Bacon Sandwiches, And Other Stories by Witchy Bee reviews
Mini-drabbles - Features Moist von Lipwig and many more characters. Hogswatch edition is now up!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,201 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/29/2012 - Published: 10/22/2011 - Moist von L.
Eye of the Storm by ihaznoideawuttowrite reviews
The last we saw of Cap'n Jack Sparrow, he was walking off into the sunset with Gibbs. This story picks up a little bit after that. My first fic, so please be nice and review. Constructive criticism appreciated, those who give it get virtual cookies!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,501 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/25/2012 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow
Life Lessons by foxeye10 reviews
A collection of lessons the Discworld characters have taught us.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 12/14/2011
Drumknott Gets An iPad by Poke-it-with-a-Stick reviews
It's the Century of the Fruitbat, and modernisation marches apace. Drabble
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/23/2011 - Drumknott, Sam Vimes - Complete
The Princess and the Dragon by Suki-Alanna reviews
A strange medieval world with princesses, dragons, knights and the like. Follow one princess's amazing journey as she finally sets out to see the world.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,415 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/29/2011 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Circumnavigating the Disc in glorious 3D by Hamfast Gamgee reviews
So, you're gonna need your 3D glasses. No extra charge!
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,432 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Complete
Her Name was Supi yaw lat by Stutley Constable reviews
Pintel tells Elizabeth of a time when he was not so... ugly. Inspired by Kipling's poem Mandalay.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/3/2011 - Pintel, Elizabeth S. - Complete
Dark God by The Dragon Mage reviews
"When he was a boy, a witch had tried to cut out his heart to give to the old ones who had no names and whose domain was darkness." On the First Archmage, his sexism, and the reason for the Rule of Roke; contains a little blood and a lot of psychology.
Earthsea Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,279 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Boss Hogg reviews
After Ensign Chekov is pressed into service as a bartender, he gets some really terrifying news. One shot.
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/3/2012 - P. Chekov
Dr Sheldon Cooper Rocks Out reviews
Having lost out on a badly-needed research grant, Sheldon forms a rock-and-roll band to make money. One shot.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,457 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/4/2012 - Sheldon C., Howard W. - Complete
Miss Susan's Hogswatch reviews
While the rest of us slumber, safe in our Hogswatch beds, Miss Susan has been working.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Susan Sto Helit
Star Wands reviews
Harry Potter characters in a Star Wars universe.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,189 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/13/2011 - Published: 11/10/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
The Hogfather and the Patrician reviews
Havelock Vetinari receives a Hogswatch visit from the Hogfather. One shot.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 966 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Vetinari - Complete
After the Two Suns Set reviews
Luke, Biggs, Fixer and Tank cruise the dusty streets of Anchorhead, searching for love, excitement, liquor and the meaning to life. Takes place just before Episode IV, A New Hope. Now complete.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,603 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/29/2011 - Published: 8/29/2011 - Luke S., Biggs D. - Complete
The Interment Net reviews
The Patrician learns of Cut-Me-Own-Throat's plan to install the Internet on Discworld. Inspired by Poke-it-with-a-Stick's "Drumknott Gets An iPad."
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,360 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/25/2011 - Vetinari, C.M.O.T. Dibbler - Complete
POTC: Finding Johnny Depp reviews
The wackiest cross-over story ever. Johnny Depp is sent backwards in time into a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Private eye Sam Marlowe "The Man with Bogart's Face" follows in an attempt to rescue him.
Crossover - Misc. Movies & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,442 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Elizabeth S. - Complete
Ali Badhboi and the 39 Thieves reviews
Here's a nice bit of frivolity. Ali Badhboi and his 39 thieves are coming to Anhk-Morpork to free their 40th thief, Tickles the elephant, from the city zoo.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,249 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 10/30/2011 - Nobby N., Angua - Complete
The Da Quirm Code reviews
Sam Vimes is convinced the legendary Leonard of Quirm has left a coded message in his masterpiece "The Last Midnight Gnosh" which will reveal the identity of a serial killer. And oh yeah, the Auditors of Reality again seek to destroy the universe.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,823 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/22/2011 - Published: 10/20/2011 - Leonard of Quirm, Sam Vimes - Complete
Vena the RavenHaired: Tomb Raider reviews
Vena the Raven-Haired and 17 of her great grandchildren seek to rob a tomb designed by Bloody Stupid Johnson. One shot
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,032 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/12/2011 - "Bloody Stupid" Johnson, Death - Complete
Stealing Time reviews
Nobby Nobb's new girlfriend plans to steal time from Anhk-Morpork.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,394 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 10/10/2011 - Published: 10/8/2011 - Susan Sto Helit, Nobby N. - Complete
Count of Monte Gribeau reviews
Nanny Ogg's fabulously wealthy cat Greebo is on a mission of revenge.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,020 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 9/30/2011 - Published: 9/27/2011 - Greebo - Complete
Something Wingêd This Way Comes reviews
The City Watch can't help noticing when a mad scientist plans to return the noble dragons to Discworld. My first attempt at a Discworld story. Please review. -Uh oh, FanFic turns footnotes into endnotes. It's not my fault.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,474 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/18/2011 - Gaspode, Carrot - Complete
Raid on Nassautown reviews
How Captain Jack Sparrow plundered Nassau without firing a shot. Complete.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 883 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Jack Sparrow Must Die! reviews
With his captain's share of the treasure of the Isla de Muerta, Captain Jack Sparrow now has life made. Then assassins begin appearing from every direction.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,422 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 5/2/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, James N. - Complete
Capt Jack Sparrow on the Virtues of Married Women reviews
A jealous husband catches Jack at an inopportune moment.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 355 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/1/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Last Action Girlfriend reviews
The superhot daughter of Last Action Hero's Jack Slater wants two things: me and tens of millions of dollars in buried treasure not necessarily in that order .
Last Action Hero - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,767 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Complete
Recall Unreality reviews
"Total Recall" sequel: Douglas Quaid's trip to Mars was just a dream. Now, he's awake, and the red planet again beckons him.
Total Recall, 1990 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,008 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 6/19/2011 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Complete
Earth Girls are 2 Easy reviews
Before Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans were famous, they appeared in the role of aliens who crashed their spaceship into Geena Davis's swimming pool. This mini-sequel is about what later happened to her best friend, Candy.
Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 575 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Complete
Rules for Being Captain Jack Sparrow reviews
Face it mate, we all want to be Captain Jack Sparrow. Here's some simple rules to live by.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 904 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/23/2011 - Published: 3/1/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow
Grandpa Incredible reviews
When Elastigirl's dad is called on to watch the kids, Violet and Dash find out the old geezer is full of surprises. Read & review, but whatever you do, don't eat the pizza!
Incredibles - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,348 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Dash P., Violet P. - Complete
The Sins of Captain Jack Sparrow reviews
There is no need for Hell. The sins provide their own punishment. Rated T for nudity.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 495 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Giselle - Complete
Hogwarts, an Alternate History
Summary: What if-Lord Voldemort had successfully destroyed the infant Harry Potter along with the rest of his family?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,630 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 3/23/2011 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
The Greatest Love of Captain Jack Sparrow reviews
A rollicking tale of pirates, sword fighting, a beautiful woman, pirate hunters, love, a secret passageway, a boudoir, treasure chests, narrow escapes, a treasure map, betrayals, jewels, zombies, and Captain Jack Sparrow. Rated T for nudity & innuendo.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,244 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/9/2011 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Ragetti - Complete
Seaman Jack Sparrow reviews
A young Jack Sparrow sets his sights on the richest and fastest prize on the ocean. A prequel to the movies. Now complete! Read, enjoy & review!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,923 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 2/28/2011 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Tia D. - Complete
The Lady is a Spy reviews
Yvonne is a tool for the Nazis, spying on the poor devils in Rick's Cafe Americain. The idea comes from Gintomi's "As Time Goes By." That unfinished story has not been updated in over 2 years, so I wrote this. Previously titled "Yvonne's Story."
Casablanca - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,108 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/14/2011 - Published: 12/20/2010 - Complete
Back from the Dead Yo Ho Yo Ho reviews
Tia Dalma makes her first attempt to rescue Captain Jack Sparrow from Davy Jones' Locker. This story takes place between the final two scenes of Dead Man's Chest, after the encounter with the kraken but before the commiserating at Tia Dalma's hut.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,646 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Tia D. - Complete
Jack's Bride reviews
A poem about Captain Jack Sparrow taking a bride. I can't believe I wrote this right before Valentine's Day. I should be flogged.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
We're Off to See the Wizard A South Park musical reviews
The only way the boys can get back to South Park is with the help of a wizard, of a pair of ruby slippers and of Taarna the hot chick from "Major Boobage" .
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 11,705 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Eric Cartman, Kenny M. - Complete
Into the Valley of the Dead reviews
The Scorpion King story told from the perspective of a Red Guard who survived the fight in the Valley of the Dead.
Mummy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,892 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/31/2010 - Scorpion King - Complete