"Pain is beautiful, when you feel pain, you know that you're alive"
"These s.c.a.r.s on my w.r.i.s.t.s are proof that people like you do exist..."
"The best part of 'believe' is the 'lie'"
"I walked through the hallway holding my wrists, hoping no one will see me like this. He looks at me, scared what he'll find, he never thought I had these things in mind. He asks me "...is there any more?" Looking at him with tears in my eyes. I whisper a simple reply, "..what did you think bracelets were for..?"
"I'm going to draw a picture, a picture with a twist, I'll draw it with a razor, I'll draw it on my wrist. And as i draw this picture, a fountain will appear, and as this fountain flows, my troubles disappear..."
"Just live and breathe...And try not to die again."
"We don't cut ourselves with razors or pieces of broken glass, but with pieces of our shattered heart"
"People tell us to stop hurting ourselves, but they are the cause of greater pain"
"Sick of crying, tired of trying, sure I may be smiling, but inside I'm dying"
"Not all scars show, not all wounds heal, you can't always see the pain someone feels"
"Suicide is painless, it's life that hurts"
"No one told me life was easy, but no one told me it was this hard"
"The higher I go, the greater I fall"
"Don't dream, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart."
"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."
"Guys are like stars; there are millions of them but only one can make your wishes come true."
"A girl worth kissing is not easily kissed."
"Don’t cry over someone who won’t cry over you."
"The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them."
"One day, you’re going to wake up and realize how special she is — and when that day comes, she’ll be waking up next to the guy who already knew."
"I feel sorry for the boys who broke my heart, because one day, they’re going to wake up and realize they had the world."
"Something so strong shouldn’t make me feel this weak."
"He’ll never admit you’re the only thing that’s ever on his mind."
"Forget the risk, take the fall.
"Every night I talk to the stars pretending they’re you. Sadly, they’re too much like you – far away and they never answer my questions."
It’s not up to me anymore. If you want me in your life, you’ll find your way to put me there."
"I'm not universally known. But I'm known to leave the speakers blown"
"They say I'll understand it all in good time
"I started writing down my deepest secrets
"Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.
"Isn't it ironic? We ignore who adores us, adore who ignores us, love who hurts us, and hurt who loves us."
"I remember when vampires were scary"
"If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?"
"I'm the kind of girl who yells at the movies when they don't follow the book 99.9 percent"
"Drink Coffee: Do stupid things faster and with more energy"
"The most amazing girls never have boyfriends because all the boys think they're not good enough and they're right"
"She's just mad because a house fell on her sister"
"I wish you here. But you're not here, you're there, and there doesn't know how lucky it is."
"No one knows how it is that with one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart"
"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable"
"It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman"
"Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter if only we could prevent girls from being girls"
"A boy is a magical creature - you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart."
"Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance. "
“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”
"It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces."
"I hope something eats you."
"We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet."
"Fortune said a palm can say a lot, especially when it smacks you."
"I'm not deaf, I'm just igmoring you."
"My heart belongs to what's-his-face."
"When nothing goes right...Go left."
"Life is too short, to wake up in the morning with regrets.
"The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences"- Edward Cullen-Eclipse
"Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV on the other hand..." -Edward Cullen-Twilight
"Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving."
"I've decided that as long as I was going to Hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."
"I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator." -Bella-Twilight
“I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.” -Bella Swan-Twilight
"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR-AE
"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge-MaximumRide-SOF
"She offered to cook breakfast."-Fang-MR-SOF
"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" ~Max-MR-StWaOES
Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" ~Max and Jeb-MR-Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.
You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! ~Fang-MR-SOF
"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max-MAX
Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX
"What's your name?" "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." -Angel answering Steve-MAX
"I'm only a kid! I can't get married!" "You could in New Hampshire." -Max and Angel-MAX
"South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas." -Max-MAX
"Optimism is overrated, Max. Its better to face realitly head-on." -The Voice-SOF
"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE
"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES
"Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-FW
"Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX
"Fang could turn men gay, but he wouldn't be gay with them. It's like a hit and run thing."
"We could be killed, or worse, expelled." -Hermione Granger in first movie.
"So, people, let's try to calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That's a Basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing thats glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do." -Fred Weasly- Deathly Hallows
"You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!"
"You need people of intelligence for this sort of mission...quest...thing."-Pippin-LOTR-FotR
20 Ways to annoy Fang.
1. poke him and constantly ask if he's emo.
2. put fake blood on your hands and tell him you accidently killed max.
3. dye his hair pink while he's asleep.
4. take a toy knife and ask him if he lost his.
5. Tell him max is a lesbian.
6. tell him you love him.
7. put fake blood on your cheek and arm and say you were attacked by pencils.
8. if your ever alone with him sing the emo song constantly.
9. tell him kitties are after him with vengance.
10. When he disappears kick him in the shins and tell him you didn't see him there
11. show him a picture of bald brittany and ask him if he will ever do that
12. yell really loudly, " MAX YOUR FANGY IS WAITING"
13. tell fang max needs to talk and look really serious
14. tell fang he should dump max for you
15. ask fang if he misses the red-hair- wonder
16. have max kiss a man in the dark and say its fang while fang watches.
17. dress up like max and try to kill yourself in front of him.
18. pay gazzy to imatate maxs voice saying 'I want to die"
19. handcuff nudge to fang and have her talk about everything she sees
20. have someone push fang into you and exclaim, 'i didn't know you felt that way fang!"
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Run into walls.
6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"
8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
9. Say all of the words in a film.
10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"
11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"
12. Talk to a pen.
13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
14. Try and climb the wall.
15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT KISS YOU!"
16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"
18. Eat your hair.
19. Hold there nuts and say u have alot of food down there
20. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"
21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"
22. Pretend to be a phone.
23. Try to swim in the floor.
24. Tap on their door all night.
14 Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart
1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!" and push them behind a shelf
2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one.
3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!" once the cashier tells you the price
4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"
5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!THEY'RE BACK!"
6-start a fish stick fight
7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!"
8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!"
9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do
10-attempt to fly off a high shelf
11-throw confetti on random people walking into the store
12-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line
13-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section
14-walk up to empoyees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8...
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line.
My name is Sarah
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad
When she stares at your mouth
When she pushes you or hits you
When she starts cussing at you
When she's quiet
When she ignores you
When she pulls away
When you see her at her worst
When you see her start crying
When you see her walking
When she's scared
When she lays her head on your shoulder
When she steals your favorite hat
When she teases you
When she doesn't answer for a long time
When she looks at you with doubt
When she says that she likes you
When she grabs at your hands
When she bumps into you
When she tells you a secret
When she looks at you in your eyes
When she misses you
When you break her heart
When she says its over
When she repost this bulletin
Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-
When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
Actual things on products. Omg, people.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
What a guy means, when he says some stuff-
“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"It would take too long to "
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
In school, have you ever...
1. Stuck gummy worms to the ceiling.
2. Raised your hand to answer a question then forgot what the question was.
3. Doodled on your notebook. ( my notebook is full of doodles)
4. In P.E., tried to kick a ball and miss.
5. Flicked food at random people during lunch.
6. Called someone a stupid nickname just to bother them. (gave me some candy to be quiet)
7. Ran around screaming when a bunch of birds flew over you.
8. Tripped up the stairs and started laughing.
9. Locked your teacher out of the classroom. (we had to let him in after a few minutes)
10. Played a game of catch while the teacher wasn't looking. (I hit someone on the head by accident)
11. Had a screaming contest at lunch.
12. Played ninja with some friends ands screamed NINJA whenever you're behind someone to scare them.
13. Tripped over nothing in the hall and pushed someone down too.
14. Stared at the back of someone's head to see how long it takes them to turn around.
15. Raised your hand in the middlle of your teacher's speech and asked them a question to another teacher's homework.
16. Fell alseep in class.
17. Stood on your desk and shouted while you waited for your teacher to come back to class.
If you have done any of these, copy and paste this into your profile.
For me crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in in a book. Crazy is when you yell at fictional book characters for doing stupid things or when you decide to hunt down fictional book characters and kill them for hurting other fictional book characters Crazy is when your mother has to pry books or manga or some sort of technologyfrom your fingertips and you start to sob. Crazy is when you just said something very serious then burst out laughing. Crazy is when you save up hundreds of dollars for college then blow it all at a candy store. Crazy is when you start laughing hysterically because of a sign on the computer that said DO NOT TURN OFF. Crazy is wen u brake ur leg wile getting a glass of water. Crazy is when you're trying to capitalize the c in crazy for 10 minutes when u realize the caps lock is still on and your holding the shift botton.
If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."
When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking for it after I found it?!"
While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior.
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.
Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.
Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.
(Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.
I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.
Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!
Yeah I'm unique, just like every one else.
If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off
Don't count the days, make the days count
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand apples!
Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow
Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am
I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!
Stressed is Desserts backwards :)
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away so they can’t hear you and you still have their shoes on.
I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".
You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Where's the good in goodbye?
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
We all smile in the same language
On the other hand, you have different fingers
I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face!
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present!
My door is always open, so feel free to leave
Second place is the first loser
There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I swear to drunk I'm not god
I am in shape...round is a shape
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.
One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor!
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect!
Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.
I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
My mum keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.
Intelligence has limits, stupidity deosn't.
Smile...it confuses people!
If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.
A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman
We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid
A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
Random Funny Stuff:
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