PyromaniacSchizophrenic
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Joined 01-15-10, id: 2217871, Profile Updated: 01-26-14
Author has written 15 stories for Harry Potter, Torchwood, Supernatural, Death Note, Ouran High School Host Club, Rise of the Guardians, Merlin, Hetalia - Axis Powers, Mortal Instruments, and Thor.

Name: Katy

Nickname: Corny, apparently

Interests: Harry Potter, NCIS, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Torchwood, Supernatural, How I Met Your Mother, lots of random animes and such, Star Wars, Star Trek, Narnia, and others. The list is longer than I can type.

Favorite Quotes

"I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones."

"Eleanor Roosevelt got even in a way that was almost as cruel, she forgave them."

The Doctor: This isn't just a London Hopper, you know. It can go anywhere in the universe, free of charge.
Mickey Smith: Don't! He's an alien! He's a thing!
The Doctor: He's not invited.

The Doctor: Now, first things first. Be honest, how do I look?
Rose Tyler: Uh... different.
The Doctor: Am I... ginger?
Rose Tyler: No, you're just sort of... brown.
The Doctor: Aw! I always wanted to be ginger!

"Writer: A schizophrenic who is paid to not take their medication."

"Dancing is like dreaming with your feet."

"One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel."-Doctor Who

"I'm the doctor. Do exactly as I say, don't ask stupid questions, and don't wander off." then he runs into a tree. go figure. -Doctor Who

"...The man above might say hello, Expect no love from the beast below."-Doctor Who

"I wasn't sure when cars were invented, but I always figured it was back in prehistoric times. Back when people watched black and white tvs and hunted dinosaurs."-Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Come over to the dark side. We have hamburgers.

God is a comedian playing to an audience to afraid to laugh.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

You're singing off key. For the love of God, please stop.

I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

Pyromaniac sounds so negative...I prefer fire-enthusiast.

I run into things that most normal people wouldn't have a problem avoiding.

Diplomacy: The ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

Police Officer: Walk in a straight line.
Man: But...I can't do that when I'm sober.

Brother? What brother?...um, yeah, I need that duct tape for...uh...gift wrapping!...NO! DON'T LOOK IN THAT CLOSET!

I come with my own background music.

Leonard: Well, once again, it seems you're stuck between a rock and a crazy place.
Sheldon: Oh I hate it when that happens.

Sheldon: I'm not insane. Mother had me tested.

I'm not completely worthless. I can be used as a bad example.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you have just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what FaceBook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If Rose Tyler is your favorite companion of the Doctor, copy and paste this into your profile (Rose and Doctor FOREVER!!!)

If you really HAVE to be on Doctor Who when you're older, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you abso LOVE sci-fi things, copy and paste this onto your profile..

If you have ever walked/ran into a door, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed a pull door, or vice/versa, copy this onto your profile.

If you have typed up so much on the computer you know where all the keys are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If one part of you is calm and the other part like to stand on their head and sing theme songs,copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile

If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have something else stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something childish for your age, copy this into your profile.

If you ever ran into the door, copy this into your profile.

If you still need the alphabet to remember the letter's order, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped down the stairs, add this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, add this to your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If there are times where you DO annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile.

If you can think of at least one person you would like to push down a well copy this into your profile.

If you've ever changed a 'copy this into your profile' thingies, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so bored you just sat in the computer chair staring at your computer copy this into your profile.

If u have ever done anything stupid in your life copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you really should be doing something important right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read every single one of these up to here, award yourself 5 points and copy this somewhere into your profile.

If Shiny things easily distract you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't like Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to stop child abuse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love life, you better copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever wanted to beat up some one, but couldnt due to the possible consequences, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a clear glass door by accident and fell back, copy this onto your profile.

If your really smart but don't ofen show it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song, copy this into your profile.

If you're freaking sick of all the Martha/Doctor fics, copy this and paste this onto your profile page

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it was uncool to breathe. If you're one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off at them, copy and paste this into your profile page.

If you are one of the wise ones who knew that Rose would return BEFORE IT WAS REVEALED OUR HOPES AND DREAMS WOULD COME TRUE, copy and paste this onto your profile page.

IF YOU ARE A NERDFIGHTER, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who has a comeback for whatever you say to her, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Primeval/ Doctor Who, or anything else sci-fi, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, Vic Taylor, Erma Buckles, butterfly1415, NotEverJulietNeedsARomeo (got this from ), Kisara the BlueEyesWhiteDragon, talkstoangels77, Kathryn Hart, XxJessFoxxX, mr. unicorn

Steven Moffat classified Rose Tyler as the Doctor's "needy girlfriend," and that he had to hand it to the Doc for ditching her and 'palming her off on a copy of himself.' If this statements makes you very, very angry, join the club! (and copy this into your profile!)

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

HOW TO DEAL WITH A GRUE

-Die.
-Scream and die.
-Scream, struggle, and die.
-Scream, struggle, shit yourself, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, look at a picture of Michael Jackson, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, listen to any emo song, look at a picture of Michael Jackson, and die.
-Recite every line of Moby Dick in Italian. Grues love the Italian language, so it will subdue them for awhile. Of course when you are done reading, the grue will still eat you.
-Sing one of Michael Bolton's classic songs. Grues hate Michael Bolton. Of course they will still eat you, but you can have the satisfaction of having irritated a grue.
-Drink a glass of milk; 2.6 of grue are lactose intolerant, safe in the knowlege that the Grue will get diarrhea when it finally gets round to eating you, which is very quickly.
-Use extreme sarcasm.
-Build a sandcastle. It won't help at all, and you will be eaten, but it is a fun activity.
-Cast Frotz. This only works for wizards, enchanters, and other magically-enabled people.
-DON'T WANDER AROUND IN THE DARK, YOU MORON! Alternatively, light your torch.
-It is a little known fact that Grues like hearing haikus. Therefore reciting a haiku to a grue will extend your life by 17 syllables.
-Wrap a towel around your head. Although the grue will still eat you, it will make the postprandial cleanup easier. Plus, if you have telepathy you will be able to see the grue while it eats you.
-Yell for your mum over and over again until you die.
-Strip naked and perform an ancient Mayan rain dance, and pray that the rain distracts the grue.
-Call for a republican, and die.
-Continually masturbate. That's right. Day in, day out. It'll work, so long as there are kittens in the world.
-Summon Chuck Norris. This is not a very effective method though, because Chuck Norris is likely to wait until you are eaten so that he will get a show, and a kill.

-/\_/\-
( 0 0 )

.../l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ヽ
じしf, )ノ

These kittens look so kawai, ne? What about this one:

-/\_/\-
/ x # \
\...-.../

Kittens don't look right when they're beat up and have black eyes. Help stop animal abuse.

Guns don't kill people. People with mushtaches kill people.
XP
No, but seriously. Don't give guns to teens. They'll blow each others' faces off. I don't think that would feel very good. :/

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see.

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask if you're alright.
REAL FRIENDS: Run away screaming: "GET OUT OF THE WAY! SHE'S PISSED!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot".

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

A true friend sees the 1st tear, catches the 2nd, and bitchslaps the mothafucker that causes the 3rd.

Call me what you want; I really don't care. But if you insult my friends...see here, buddy, let's take a walk. Let me give you a little hint: call the police you stupid litte shit, 'cause there's about to be a murder.

I pray for wisdom to understand him, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because if I pray for strength, I'll just beat the shit out of him.

You're my best friend in the whole world. I would do anything for you. And since I know you would want me to stay safe, I'll trip you if zombies start chasing us.

I only seem like a smartass 'cause I'm surrounded by dumbasses.

Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine.

Trust no man, fear no bitch.

Hating me won't make you pretty.

Don't underestimate me, pal. See this smile? It's not really a smile. It's a distraction so I can punch you in the face.

MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?

May God have mercy on my enemies, 'cause I sure as hell won't.

It's a beautiful day... now watch some asshole fuck it up.

I swear, officer. I didn't punch her; I just high-fived her face.

Didn't give a fuck yesterday, don't give a fuck today, probably won't give a fuck tomorrow.

He who laughs last didn't get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.

Most women say that men should have to suffer through periods like us; not me. If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.

Therapy pays off later; screaming obsentities and beating the shit out of people pays off now.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

Do people in England sit around and try to sound like Americans, like we try and have British accents?

Don't knock at Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS! :D

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Confucius says: Man who stand in middle of road get hit by bus.

I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

If our parents are always wanting us to sit down and shut up, then why did they ever teach us to walk and talk?

I made time fly one day. The next day I slept late.

Some say the glass is half empty, others half full, all's I want to know is who the Dark Forest is drinking my water!

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass.

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Hmm...I wonder...

My favorite word is sarcasm.

I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?

Come to the light side. We have PUDDING!

Welcome to the light side. Heh, sorry, but we ran out of pudding.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" -ParisHilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Never hire a colorblind electrician.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?

Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face.

The quietest place on earth is theParachuteCompanyComplaintCenter.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When in doubt, make words up!

I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

There is always a light at the end of a tunnel; just pray it isn’t a train.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, be very afraid!

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.

The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The only reason people are afraid of saying goodbye is that they think there will never be another hello.

Made the mistake of being social today; it was pointless and boring. Next time I'll try to remember that.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Captain America Popsicles by TheMajesticLoki reviews
Tony finds out that there are, in fact, Captain America popsicles. He's interested in Steve's reaction to discovering this, but things don't quite go as planned. A bit of Steve/Tony subtext at the end. Mentions of Tony sucking on Steve's fruit-flavored stick of ice. Just a funny fic that I wrote in a few hours.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 878 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/28/2014 - Iron Man/Tony S., Captain America/Steve R., Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
The Consequences of Eveningwear by VexieChan reviews
TaserTricks fluff in which Darcy teaches Loki about the strange (if oddly seductive) Midgardian custom of shaving one's legs. (Prompt drabble via tumblr)
Thor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,683 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 16 - Published: 9/9/2013 - Darcy L., Loki - Complete
28 Lokis and a Thor by Self-Inflicted Insanity reviews
Post-Avengers, Loki is in prison in Asgard, and, of course, Odin is very, very angry. He tries to cast a spell on Loki so that he must show his emotions, but it goes horribly wrong. And then, as if matters couldn't get any worse, Thor's hammer gets stolen. So you end up with 28 Lokis and a Thor, all dressed in drag. Inspired by a picture by Yuuram93 on DeviantART, and Norse myths.
Thor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,476 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 73 - Published: 6/24/2013 - Thor, Odin, Loki, Frigga - Complete
The Marvelous Misadventures of Magnus the Magnificent Warlock by Boadicea.Thorsdottir reviews
Just a bunch of random crazy stuff that Magnus puts everyone through with his usual antics! May or may not be fluffy at parts, just because I love Malec! Rated T because I'm paranoid and we know this crowd, there will be language!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,017 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/19/2013
Wonderful, Prodigious Things by woahkitten reviews
'It hadn't taken him long to find something to catch his eye, a shiny black scarf embellished with silver sequins. He held it up to himself, eyes on the mirror. "What do you think?"' Magnus takes Alec scarf shopping. Pure, unadulterated fluff.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/19/2013 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
A Healing Heart by Isabel Hunter reviews
He was there the whole time and she completely missed him. Now, when she needs him most, he's there for her. Rated T for language.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,257 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 2/6/2013 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Haruhi F., Kyōya O.
Never Trust A Duck by AquaWolfGirl reviews
Bunnymund loves ducklings. Jack doesn't quite share his enthusiasm. Inspired by a quote that I use constantly. ONESHOT
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 649 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 32 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Bunnymund, Jack Frost - Complete
How Magnus Bane was banned from Peru by ravenclawgirls reviews
So we (this account is run by 2 people) were reading the city of fallen angels, and in it, Magnus says he is banned form peru. we wondered why, then came up with this. Enjoy :) BTW this is a one-shot
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/2/2012 - Magnus B. - Complete
Cabin Fever by A Wandering Minstrel reviews
A massive storm keeps John trapped in Baker Street with a half-blind (for science!), very bored Sherlock Holmes.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,343 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 535 - Follows: 74 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Sherlock H., John W., Mrs. Hudson - Complete
Haruhi can swing her sword by Windiseil the Tattooed reviews
Haruhi sings a song from tobuscus and the ouran host club catches her doing it
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 322 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/25/2012 - Complete
GENGAR by Windiseil the Tattooed reviews
My thoughts about the adorable purple fluff ball
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Gengar/Gangar - Complete
Band Geeks and We Know It by Fan-Fic-Addict129 reviews
I made a parody for us band geeks. I play the clarinet and I love marching band even though I'm a freshman. So here ya go! ON WITH THE AWESOME SONG! Review?
Marching Band - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 405 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Complete
Mulan Marching Band Song by whoviansFTW reviews
Band parody!
Marching Band - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 292 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Complete
Start Spreading the News by paynesgrey reviews
Darcy and Loki have an announcement to make. CRACK. ONE-SHOT. Darcy x Loki. This will not be continued.
Thor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 598 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 36 - Published: 6/8/2011 - [Darcy L., Loki] - Complete
Every Fangirl's Dream by WickedSweet123 reviews
Abby Mason is one of the biggest Doctor Who fans there is...so what happens when the Doctor accidentally punches in the wrong coordinates and lands in her universe? Every fangirl's dream!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,469 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/4/2010 - Published: 2/18/2010 - 10th Doctor, Donna N. - Complete
Never Gonna Be Alone by VoiceOfTime reviews
Left all alone, the Doctor doesn't know what to do without Rose. Can a similarly broken young girl help him heal? My reworking of Seasons 3 and 4 to allow for the Doctor to not be left standing alone in the end. Will be 10/Rose, 10.5/Rose, 10/OC, alt9/O
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 79 - Words: 189,233 - Reviews: 453 - Favs: 545 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 6/4/2010 - Published: 8/22/2009 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
No Other Choice by GeorgiaFranchot reviews
A late night at the library sends Hermione into the ROR. Unfortunately, Draco Malfoy is also there...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 43,569 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Host Club by Kia Stirling reviews
COMPLETE Following tragedy in England, Harry and Sirius escape to Tokyo. Harry attends the prestigious Ouran High School, intent on keeping his head down, but the limelight has a way of finding him. (now on AO3)
Crossover - Harry Potter & Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 259,069 - Reviews: 884 - Favs: 3,601 - Follows: 1,487 - Updated: 12/13/2008 - Published: 7/12/2008 - [Harry P., Mori/Takashi M.] [Sirius B., Ranka/Ryōji F.] - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Graceless Love reviews
Affectionately referred to as "Why Loki Didn't Get to Take Over the Universe." A random Midgardian mortal shows up on Asgard. Odin makes her Loki's responsibility. Loki/OC. Ridiculously fluffy. Sometimes cracky.
Thor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,015 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/2/2013 - Published: 7/24/2013 - Loki, Thor - Complete
Almost reviews
Magnus Bane almost did a lot of things.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 342 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/27/2013 - Magnus B., Alec L. - Complete
The Awesomest Ship Ever reviews
Prussia finds his perfect match! PrussiaxOC, mentions of GerItaly. Warnings: slash, crack . crack times 10 to the crack power
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 375 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/15/2013 - Complete
Look What I Can Do! reviews
Me and my friend have done the one thing we should not have done: pondered how Arthur would discover Merlin's secret. This was born as a result. Crack. My crackiest yet. No spoilers. Just crack.
Merlin - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 193 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/21/2013 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas reviews
North gets a letter asking for a white Christmas. He asks Jack to help make the little girl's dream come true.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 865 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/24/2012 - Jack Frost, North - Complete
Kyoya's Sexy and He Knows It reviews
Sequel of sorts to Moves Like Jagger. Stands alone nicely. Crack. Weird. Twins are rascally devils, and there's an HP reference somewhere.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 526 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Kyōya O. - Complete
Voice Actors reviews
Mori's talking too much, Kyoya can't talk, and the cake is a lie. Crack.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 204 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/22/2012 - Complete
Moves Like Jagger reviews
Mori has a secret part of him nobody knows about. But they're about to find out... Mori will be OOC.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/9/2012 - Mori/Takashi M. - Complete
Pancakes reviews
Something's following Voldemort, and he doesn't have a clue what to do. Drabble. Crack. You have been warned.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Voldemort - Complete
A Valentine From Jesus reviews
Castiel sees a piece of paper on the ground and picks it up. He then runs into and old friend. part of my newly decided 'Theology with Sarah' series, but stands alone.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Castiel - Complete
Bumbling Science reviews
Matsuda messes up. L has to help. Might be slight OOC. NO SLASH.
Death Note - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,178 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/25/2011 - L, Matsuda T. - Complete
I Saw God Today reviews
What was Cas doing while Sam and Dean were in heaven? Getting a lesson in theology, of course! One shot. slight Cas/OC.
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/6/2011 - Castiel - Complete
Mummy Dearest reviews
Short drabble idea I got when I saw a sign. Slight language and Mrs. Black bashing. R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/16/2011 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Alright Again reviews
Gwen thinks back to her life with Torchwood. WARNING: slight spoiler for Miracle Day.
Torchwood - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 478 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/11/2011 - Gwen C. - Complete
Die, Harkness, Die! reviews
Jack hasn't done anything wrong today. So why is it that he gets murdered walking home from work? And who is Lord Voldemort? Rated T because it's Jack and 19-year-old Marauders.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,421 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/10/2011 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Voldemort, Jack H. - Complete