Poll: What House of Night character do you prefer/are you most like? Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for House of Night, and Skulduggery Pleasant series.
Hello, I'm Katy :) I'm an aspiring writer and I LOVE Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy, along with Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Divergent etc! Welcome to my profile!
(P.S. Sorry about all of the quotes and everything! I do realise they're a lot but I love them all and don't want to get rid of them!)
A Random Skulduggery Pleasant quote from book 3, The Faceless Ones
"...'Valkyrie asked. 'They're a little conspicuous.'
Crux sneered. "That's kind of a big word for a thirteen-year-old isn't it?'
Valkyrie resisted the urge to hit him. 'Actually no, its fairly standard,' She replied. 'Also I'm fourteen. Also, your beard's stupid.'
'Isn't this fun?' Skulduggery said brightly. 'The three of us getting along so well.'"
LOL! LOVE this bit :D It's one of my favourites. (Also page 83 or 93, cant remember. Its the last page of a chapter though. When they're at Kenspeckle's XD) If you dont read Skulduggery Pleasant, I definitely recommend it :D
"So the Myan calendar ends in 2012. So what? My calendar ends in December. I just buy a new one." -Mr. Youngblood (Geography teacher)
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.
You know it’s going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Education is important. Although school is another matter entirely.
Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic. In other words, amateurs should do everything.
Music is love in search of words.
Always forgive your enemies, it's the best way to annoy them out of their minds.
I used to be normal, until I met those freaks I now call my best friends.
I ran with scissors and lived!
I don't obsess. I just think intensely.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
When Life gives you lemons, make a bomb. sizzle MY EYES! THEY'RE BEING BURNED BY THE ZESTY LEMON BOMB!
The knack of flying is attempting to fall . . . and missing the ground.
Somebody needs a happy meal.
When life gives you lemons, make lime-ade and let the world wonder how you did it.
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question
The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.
Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
(Drawing back a fist) How would you like to donate blood... through your nose?
Order is for idiots, genius can handle chaos
Love is a perky little elf dancing a merry little jig and then, suddenly, he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. matt groening
A rebel with a cause is a hero; a rebel without one is stupid
The secret to life is that there is no secret at all and you don't get your money back.
Save a tree... Eat a beaver
Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, someone goes and throws you a shovel...
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle
If you were in the street on fire, I'd put you out with gasoline
I remember reading that scientists once believed the universe was made of hydrogen, because it was the most plentiful ingredient found. If that theory holds any truth, then I believe it to be made of stupidity.
Due to management cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel will now be switched off
Crazy? Once I was crazy. They locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die. All the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice. They drive me crazy. Crazy? Once I was crazy. They locked...
Can't sleep clowns will eat me... Can't sleep clowns will eat me... Can't sleep clowns will eat me... Can't sleep clowns will eat me... Can't sleep clowns will eat me...
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder
When in doubt, make up words
I find the phrase "Good Morning" an oxymoron.
Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends," is like your dog dying, and your mom saying you can keep it.
You're just jealous that the little voices are talking to me.
I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends would talk to me.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense
My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away; he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
Therapist = The/rapist . . . Scary thought.
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.
Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.
My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
Ooooo . . . A life. Where can I download one?
I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?
The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.
Slinky Escalator = Endless Fun!
Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway
Life's tough...Get a helmet
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Yours Is Stupid
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
My WEREWOLF can beat up your VAMPIRE!!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."
"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
-Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
-One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
-You know, 1/7 people have fallen of there nut. Look at 6 of your friends, and if they're all good, IT"S YOU!
-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. They spend the second part telling us to sit down and shut-up
-When somebody annoys you, it takes up 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to reach out and punch the hell outa them. You can do so 10 times and still have 2 muscles to waste! BARGAINBARGAINBARGAIN
-Be insane. Well behaved girls are no fun to read about
--If you can't BEAT them, JOIN them
If you can't JOIN them, BRIBE them
If you can't BRIBE them, BLACKMAIL them
If you can't BLACKMAIL them, KILL them
If you can't KILL them, your SCREWED
--I had a friend once. Then his rope broke and he ran for it
-I took the less traveled road... NOW WHERE THE HECK AM I?
-DO NOT HIT KIDS!! No, seriously. They have guns now.
Life sucks and then you die. get over it.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.
Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
My Mother Taught Me
1. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop frowning, the winds gonna blow it that way."
18. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.
"You'll turn into a carrot if you eat any more.
25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.
"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."
26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.