Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, and Naruto.
I think it's very well time to get something across. Over the last two years or so, I've grown and changed. Become more mature. Stories that I was into a few years ago hold no interest for me now. My writing from 2009 makes me wince. Most of my stories WILL be abandoned, sadly. I have many, many drabbles and such floating around livejournal, which I will begin to post here, but it will take a while. I'm sorry to have to say this.
To my adopted story, Apprentice of the Shark Demon; I will have to drop this one. I will not delete it, and I invite anyone and everyone to make their own spin-offs or small within-the-story ficlet, or even adopt the story. It matters not to me, other than how I would like to see what comes up and changes.
To my story, A New Place; the Itachi that was there has long since left my headspace. I have a few choices as to what I want to do with it, being; 1.) Dropping the story completely. It's crap. I don't want to continue it the way it is. 2.) Trying to continue the story as it is. I can try, can't I?!?!?! 3.) Re-starting the story with Itachi as the main character, so it flows more easily. It can't be so hard, and it'll make it less painful! 4.) Re-starting the story, with my loudest character, Uchiha Shisui. I can work with him. He's loud, he can fit in with the timeline I'd originally planned, and so on. Your choice--please send me a private message regarding the issue if you care.
To my story, A Bit Off; It was a crack story. It will not be continued. Even if it turned out to be a prediction of canon events, what the living bloody hell--
To my story, Living With The Beasts; No. I'm not continuing it. No way, no how. Sorry.
To my story, whateer-the-damn-title-was-about-Itach-growing-up; The name I've put should give you a hint. No. I'm not continuing it. Actually, I plan to delete it. Any protests?
However, problems aside, Itachi was very clear on the final outcome of the situation: he had somehow developed quite the not-crush on Uchiha Shisui, and what Uchiha Itachi wanted, Uchiha Itachi generally…caused to fall into his hands with varying degrees of coincidence, unlikely collusions of fate, and appropriate good fortune.~Seduction by Introduction, by coincident. Some words about Itachi.
Itachi's head shot up. And indeed, there was his best friend, coming down the path to their house and practically summoning sunbeams to frolic around him and glint inappropriately on his bare chest, which was bare, seeing as he had presumably been doing something which required it to be bare, in the manner in which a bare chest was as bare as a bare chest, and was that Itachi's brain dribbling onto the gravel with such merry splashing abandon?~Seduction by Introduction, by coincident. Itachi seeing Shisui coming to his house.
Unfortunately, in a glitch of pure chance and not any sort of jealous fury, Itachi's brain fizzles out at the word date. Rapidly backing up, it misinterprets a mission command for the first time ever since having Morino Ibiki as commander.
(The man's tongue had been freshly cut out for the umpteenth time and their mission had been to retrieve it. No logical mind would have processed the information.)
The result was Itachi making clandestine deals with restaurateurs, florists, matchmakers and hitmen (for no special reason but to continually radiate killing intent to the couple in question) to set Shisui up with a hoard of impossible candidates – not limited to all three Sannin, the fourth Kazekage and his mother, and the visiting psychopath from Kirigakure.
Danzo realizes the need for clarification before long – that is, when the Kirigakure girl starts raining acid on Hokage mountain – giving the Fourth a cadaverous look. ~The Many Times
There is the sound of padding footsteps, and then Madara's great bulk emerges.
Itachi immediately closes his eyes and makes the seal to break illusions. The sight that assaults his sensibilities – and throws them without abandon over the moon – remains mercilessly unchanged.
A thoroughly fat Uchiha Madara stands – or sits, in horror, Itachi realizes he can't tell – grandiosely before him, the ground piteously groaning under its feet. ~The Many Times, Itachi meeting Madara in the woods.
A few years ago, the Fourth had the rare brainstorm that assails so very few ninja. Valiantly reading through the acrobatic theories of physics and the parasites – such as himself – who regularly defy it, he supposed that as one approached the speed of light, bending the continuum, mass increased.
This moment, Madara, who often ballerinas through the fabric of space-time, proves the theory right by gaining enough flab to put an elephant to shame. If his ultimate goal is to be the moon, well, this was a stellar beginning. ~The Many Times, by hewhoistomriddle
When the water begins to clear, Shisui pumps his fist at a job well done and calls it a day. As his comrades cheer his mercy, he spies Itachi watching from the opposite bank, clean and impeccable and a veritable Victorian Era maiden complete with parasol. His face is unreadable as usual, and Shisui – wet, sweating, grimy Shisui who've just had the time of his life swimming after corpses with Inabi and the rest of them – feels almost sorry for him.
Itachi, he realizes, is an outsider among them, his cousins, and what sort of fucked-up family did that to one of their own? (The name of another esteemed clan with special eyes comes to mind.) Itachi is the future clan head, the alpha, the potential bane of their collective existence, enough to make even Shisui – who won Mr. Congeniality three years in a row – leery. Developing camaraderie with the Boss is a Senju philosophy, and hence flamboyantly gay in the eyes of the Uchiha, but Itachi is different from the previous Heads.
Itachi acted too much like a girl, and that absolutely exacerbated Shisui's need to engage him in some much-needed locker room talk while everyone else butt-slaps him.
Shisui is famous for being flighty, seemingly not just for his amazing ability to hover in mid-air for indecent amounts of time, but also for his unexplainable vulnerability to insidious whims and fancies like turning his cousin normal. ~The Many Times
This is the single most traumatizing event that crosses Itachi's sight: Madara in monogrammed swimming trunks –plus-sized and dating back to the era when people generally didn't give a damn about decency or the sanity of others – diving into the Nakano with the same impact (and, possibly, intent) as the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs.~The Many Times
A questionable use of homoerotic pronouns ~Samurai101 in a drabble.
If Sasuke was God, Shisui was life. ~Samurai101 in a co-authored story.
Quotes/ words that should be in Harry Potter but Aren’t:
- “Geez, Voldemort, stop acting so gay!”
- “Bellatrix, stop groping me. Just…just…go stand over there.”
- “Tell me Lucius, who’s the prettiest ballerina of them all?” Voldemort gave a cold smile at the clearly horrified man.
- “Sooo, what’s REALLY going on between his lordship and that snake, hmm?”
-“Wait a minute,” Harry said. “You want me to put this Snitch where now?”
- “What we need,” Voldemort mused, “is some sort of sign that people can rally around. To keep the masses happy and unrebellious.” Snape gasped. “You mean-” “Yes.” Voldemort allowed a vicious, cold smile to play upon his lips. “What the Death Eaters need, is a theme song.”
- “NO, DAMMIT! I DON’T CARE IF THE POTTER BOY’S BEEN FOUND! AMERICAN IDOL IS ON!”
- “One of you go see if the boy is alive. No, don’t poke him with that, Fenrir!”
-“Damn that Malfoy boy is sexy.” “GINNY!” “What, I was just saying-”
- “Harry Potter, you pathetic twit. Come here so I can smack you properly.”
- “GODDAMMIT, now is not the time for that! We are out here, risking our lives and fighting off Death Eaters, and they are making-out in a girls’ restroom?”
- “Sucks for you, Harry!”
- “Well, the mushrooms looked edible!”
- “Kreacher, how exactly do you snog a pair of trousers? Wait-Don’t answer tha-KREACHER, NOOO!”
-“My Lord, with all due respect, if you do not undo whatever you did to my hair in the next FIVE SECONDS, your eyes won’t be the only things that are slitted.”
-Voldemort rushed on through the night towards his last Horcrux, a crazed look in his eyes. Potter had gotten the ring, he had gotten the locket, but Voldemort would be damned if the blasted boy was going to lay one finger on his bunny slippers!
-“Perhaps Draco will baby-sit the cubs!” “Does Lucius Malfoy have to curse a bitch?”
- “Screw guarding Sirius Black’s old house; let’s go get drunk!”
- “What are you doing here?” Harry asked, bewildered. Draco spun around, did a double-take, then glared at Harry and made an obscene hand gesture.
- “HERMIONE! HERMIONE! HERMIO-” Ron was cut off suddenly when Harry smacked him and yelled “For God’s sake, SHUT THE HELL UP!”
- “I’ll get you, Harry Potter, and your little owl, too!”
-“Snape has a female patronus? Alright, Severus, what aren’t you telling us?”
- Voldemort glared angrily at the house-elf carrying the offending meal. “The Dark Lord,” he explained slowly, “does NOT eat muffins!”
-“Why? Why isn’t it possible?” The Dark Lord raged at his cowering victim. “Tell me WHY!” He snarled as he paced furiously. “My lord, have you considered the possibility that you’re taking your loss to this muggle game a bit too seriously?” Lucius Malfoy offered meekly. “NO I’M NOT TAKING IT TOO SERIOUSLY!” Voldemort roared. “IF I AM TO HAVE A WEAKNESS, IT IS NOT GOING TO BE DDR!”
- “Kreacher angry! Kreacher SMASH!”
-Ron, Hermione, and Harry all stood around the body of their fallen foe. “So, whadda’ya reckon?” Ron asked, gazing at the lifeless form of Voldemort. “Boxers or briefs?”
- And thus, Harry never did get a high school education.
- Victor Krum was one sexually frustrated Quidditch Champion.
- The Boy Who Continued to Live nearly died with laughter when the Malfoys turned up to their disciplinary hearing. Lucius Malfoy was wearing a tux, complete with top hat and cane, while his wife wore a pale blue satin ball gown with elbow-length gloves. Draco was wearing blue jeans and a black tee-shirt that said “I was forced to try and kill Albus Dumbledore, I had to put up with Snape for seven years, the Ministry raided my house more times than I have fingers, I couldn’t get away from Delores Umbrage, Death Eaters moved into my house, Voldemort made fun of me and my family, I had to hurt people to stop my parents from being killed, I watched my Mom and Dad tortured, my wand was stolen, I still haven’t won a Quidditch game against Harry Potter, and all I got was this lousy tattoo, and even that went away after Voldemort’s downfall.” It was the start of a long and lasting friendship.
- Harry felt a shiver run down his spine as he listened while the Order discussed Voldemort's new plan of capturing him: hordes of fangirls.
- "Well how was I supposed to know that that Voldemort was a bloody bare-knuckle boxing champion?" said George as he watched the lifeless body of The Boy Who Lived get carried away on stretchers. "I was betting against him you know!"
F-- Everything And Run
-Old enough to know better. Too young to care-
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.