Author has written 1 story for Naruto.
Orientation: Bisexual and by that i mean it fluctuates... i actually have a shirt idea that says Front: "Sorry I dont roll that way..." Back: "...Today. Try again tommorow."
Sex: "Sex is always the answer. It's never the question cuz the answers yes or the answers yes." - Nickleback, "S.E.X." I agree whole-heartedly (just to be clear, i am male)
I currently write when I'm bored and have nothing better to do. I accept suggestions and if you P.M. me with a pairing i will take a crack at it. Also, if you know me ask and ill write what you dont have the balls to. (I'm talking to you Michael.) Although I dont enjoy all pairings i do like some including naruhina(!!) kakasaku, and any yuri(im a guy sue me). I do however have a dirty little secret... I read (and enjoy) the occasional yaoi. There I said it you owe me 20 bucks Jason. I enjoy smut, fluff, angst, humor and lemons. I really got interested because of j-pop princess (I LOVE YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE!!). Anyway my spelling is good my grammer meh and my capitalization...depends on how lazy I'm feeling. I also love posting things that move me or make me laugh. My favorite type of F.F. is lemons (obviously) but i am a fanfiction junkie. I'm also a joker and think I am hilarious. If u dont...bite me. u dont have 2 listen/read. I also found out recently that i have no shame. If I'm told to do something degrading I will and if I'm told I wont I do it with gusto. Not only that, I will write whatever I damn well please and any (ANY!!!) suggestion is acceptable.
My current favorite quote from movies, tv, etc.
Shepards we shall be/ For Thee, my Lord, for Thee/ Power hath descended forth from Thy hand/ Our feet shall swiftly carry out thy command/ And we shall flow a river forth to Thee/ And teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine Patris. Et Filii. Et Spiritus Sancti. - Mcmannus family prayer, Boondock Saints
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Now you have two choices
Love vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
She ended up staying longer than
As she walked along under the tall elm
When she reached the alley, which was a
However, halfway down the alley she
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
When she reached the end of the alley,
The following day, she read in the
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
She felt she could recognize the man, so
The police asked her if she would be
She agreed and immediately pointed out
When the man was told he had been
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will
-Maybe I should try that next time I'm walking alone at night (I never even walk around alone at night anyway, so... Maybe I won't have to)
You know if you live in 2010 if...
Ever wonder where we are heading?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing fluid is made with real lemons?
Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavor?
Why they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: Serving Suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well, duh, a bit late, huh?)
On Mark's & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after hot after heating." (And you thought??...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (And I'm taking this... because?)
On most brands of Christmas tree lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to... what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody help me out on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On packet on Nobby's Peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)
(I don't blame the company on this one; I blame the parents) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
BUNNIES KICK BUTT! -Go bunny dude!
some of these dont apply to me...FUNNY...
Join the dark side, we have cookies!
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it!
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this in you're profile (What do you mean, not put this in? NNNNNOOOOO! We will be figured out! What do you mean 'we'? I'm the one people think is insane.)
If you KNOW that the voices in your head are REAL, copy and paste this into your profile
Guys with Emo hair are like a billion times more sexy than other guys! (So true)
Officer, I swear to Drunk i'm not God!
I smile cause i have no idea whats going on!
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
I used to be normal, until i met the freaks called my friends
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs
People who say anything is possible have not tried to slam a revolving door
One day, we will look back on this day, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Ever stop and think...and forget to stop again?
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and i can get how Rock beats Scissors, but there's no way that Paper can beat Rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock, leaving it immobile? If so, why can't Paper do this to Scissors? Screw Scissors, why can't Paper do this to people? Why aren't there sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to write notes in class? I'll tell you why, because Paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear paper in two seconds. When i play Rock/ Paper/ Scissors, i always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say: Oh! I'm sorry, i thought Paper would protect you, you a_hole!
My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil
When you get caught looking at a guy, remember, he was looking back
A good friend will comfort you when you break up with him, a BEST friend will call him whispering: Seven days...
All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional
If you don't like me, there is nothing i can do. Newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you
I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
You wear pants don't you?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you
Parents spend half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and spend the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up
Everyone has a wild side- me and my friends just perfer to make it public
I've got ADD and Magic Markers...oh the fun i shall have
EMO- Extravagantly Made Origami
At first, i wondered why God made you, then i realized that even God makes mistakes
Your eyes are as beautiful as enormous catapillars
Oops, i appear to have fallen upon your lips
Having the love of your life say that we can still be friends is like your dog die and your mom say you can still keep it
I think i could be madly in like with you
Music is like candy...you throw away the rappers
I live in a world with bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again
Don't call me emo or else i'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then i'll die and it will all be YOUR FAULT!
Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a female dog. And dogs bark. And bark is on trees. And tree are part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know i'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement!
If you say im not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If im not cold, im hot. I know i'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
I'm so gangsta, i carry a squirtgun
I'm not good at advice? Can i intrest you in a sarcastic comment?
You're just jealous cause we act retarded in public and people still love us!
My friend's the kinda person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN!"
I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator
I know im a sexy peguin
You cry, i cry, you laugh, i laugh, you fall off a cliff, i laugh even harder
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
Thanks Stephanie, now i'll NEVER get a man!
I'm the kinda girl who'll break out in laughter while everyone else is quiet
I hear voices, and they don't like you
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A BEST friend will walk up to him and say 'its cause your gay, isn't it?'
I'm not a whore! Your boyfriend just thinks im hot!
When it rains on my party, i just burst out the slip-n-slide!
Be a loser, cool is soo over-rated
Dear heart, i met a boy today, prepare to shatter
Dear body and intellect, i met a boy today, prepare to make him eat HIS heart out!
If annoyed further, i shall spork your eyes out
Love can come in different colors
I'm gonna go touch the butt!!
My imaginary friend thinks you have issues
We fall for stupid boys, make lots of dumb mistakes, like to act stupid, talk really fast, laugh really loud, and flirt constantly. But us teenage girls, we do one thing really well: stay strong
Shun the non-believer! SSHHUUN!! SSSHHHUUUNNN!!
Night is a dark time for me
It is for everyone, moron
Not for Alaskans and people with night vision goggles!
Im not insane, and my hand puppets argree with me
Don't frown, because even if your sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile
You have a darkness for a dawn to come
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason why i love you. I was doing fine till i ran out of stars
Somebody spiked the vodka
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died
Tell the truth and run
Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense...
Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to...
The difficult is not to die for a friend, but to find a friend worth dieing for
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public
If God intended for man to smoke, he would have set him on fire
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound that they make as they go by
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm sradishing to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I sradish to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Put this in your profile if you think that child abuse is wrong
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won. I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity . Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.
When you are bored the best medicine is one you create yourself. For example:
1. 'Test' the fishing poles
2. Leave a trail of tomato juice from the bathroom
3. Enter the dressing room and yell "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
4. Go up to some old guy and say "Grandpa! I thought you were dead!"
5. Look for a guy that has a girl beside them and say "Who is this?" and when he says that he doesn't know who you are say " Oh, so that's how it isw. Well, whatever we had is now over you cheating liar." Then run away crying.
6. Put a wet floor sign in a carpeted area.
7. When the guards chase you, try to get to the aisle where they sell chainsaws and grab the one. Then go to the the toy, grab a teddy bear and say "Stop or the bear get's it."
8. If they catch you kick 'em in the groin and say " That's for my mom."
9. Grab a toy sword and run around yelling "FOR NARNIA!". Then find an old lady and say "AH! IT'S THE WHITE WITCH! SOMEONE GET ASLAN!"
10. Get a toy gun and walk around singing "Secret Agent man, Secret Agent man."
11. Release all the balls and say "GO PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!"
12. Find some Yu-Gi-Oh cards and walk up to random people saying " IT'S TIME TO DUEL!"
13. Go up to the cashier and say "Where are you keeping him?" When they say they don't know what you're talking about say "GODDAMMIT! WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING MY BROTHER?!
14. Do the Hare Hare Yukai in the men's bathroom if you're a girl, do it in the girl's bathroom if you're a boy.
15. Get one of those dolls that can pee and get an e,mployee and say "Sir, there is something wrong with my brother/sister and I can't find my parents." When the employee leans in to look at your 'brother/sister' activate the doll.
16. Attach a walkie talkie to an Elmo and make it say " Elmo has mommy." in a demonic voice whenever a kid (that's alone) walks towards it.
17. Sing shigure's high school girl song whenever some girl walks by. (Both boys and girls can do this one ;) it is 'highschool girls highschool girls, all for me highschool girls'
Unsafe External Link