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Author has written 28 stories for Naruto, Minecraft, Twilight, and Bambi.
Does anyone have any ideas on what they would call a female version of Sasuke? PM me if you do!
"He has no hair! He has no hair!"—a little girl, talking about Howard and DeiDei's father, who is completely bald.
"Shut up so I can ask you nicely!"—EeBee-kohai
"You will not let me be the queen of pizza!"—DeiDei and Howard's mother (Mother Dearest)
"Pizza Queen, Pizza Queen, Pizza Pizza Pizza Queen!"—Howard, right after Mother Dearest said the above
"Anything I can do, you can do better! You can do anything better than me!"—Howard, attempting to sing that song from I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
"Hi! I'm not a dick!"—Howard, captured on tape, assuming that DeiDei was going to call him a dick.
"Huh. No running diving smoking jumping alcohol."—DeiDei, reading one of those warning-sign thingies they always have at pools as if it is one thing, rather than a list.
"So when will you be finished?"--Howard and DeiDei's dad, talking to The Asian Nerd about SCHOOL
--"Hopefully not for a while."--The Asian Nerd
--*confused looks all round*
--"No, he meant when will you graduate."--EeBee
--"Oh, I thought you were talking about dying!"--The Asian Nerd (a genius, though you would never guess from watching him eat).
"Who do you think would run faster, Edward from Twilight or Naruto?"—DeiDei to EeBee-kohai
--"Lee!" –EeBee's reply
"Look, I rememberized it!" –DeiDei, having a brainy moment
"Look, my brain sent me a postcard from Dei-land!"—DeiDei
"I had a wedgie once."—Howard
"Don't you want to wear cooler pajamas?"—DeiDei, talking to Howard about the TEMPERATURE.
--"These are awesome!"—Howard, pointing to his pajamas (which have racecars on them), with a very serious expression.
"Instigate, aggravate, exaggarate—have you noticed that every word ending with 'gate' is bad?"—DeiDei
--"Gates aren't bad."—Howard, to the above.
"I have legs!"—EeBee
"You know, you owe me a wedgie."—Howard (No, he is actually perfectly intelligent and normal...as far as one can be normal, that is.)
"Give me the frog."—DeiDei, in very serious voice, trying to get a rubber stretchy-frog from Howard to throw at a Mother Dearest.
"See, you have like a fuck meter." --Howard
--"HAhahahaha!"--DeiDei, in response to the above
--"That's not what I meant! I meant, you have a meter to show how annoyed you are!!!"--Howard, attempting to explain the above times two.
--"Hahaha."--DeiDei, stilll laughing
"Hang on, I'll laugh later."--DeiDei, responding to a joke Howard said (I was busy...)
"Ugh, I could never kiss a guy with a mustache."--The Asian Nerd, as we were watching Secondhand Lions
"Pew pew pew pew pew!"--Howard, making video game noises as he plays a space game.
"Penis penis penis, I want to touch my--OH never mind!!"--Howard, singing out of boredom, then realizing what exactly it was that he was singing.
"I'll clean your bleeding ears."--The Asian Nerd (I should have said something like, "Who will clean my bleeding ears?" beforehand. Which I say now at random points when talking to him, but it's not quite the same thing. XD)
"What, cheesecake?!"--The Asian Nerd
"I found my eraser. I'm chewing on it."--Howard, during a telephone conversation where he regaled Jill with various tales of his day. Actually, he nonstop talked and said many random things.
"I think of random things in the hallway. Like cheese. Earlier, I was thinking about cheese."--Howard, during the same conversation as the above.
"Go largerize yourself."--The Asian Nerd
"I think I'm drinking cancer."--The Asian Nerd. (Ironically, at some point over the summer of 2010, EeBee-kohai had a watermelon smoothie from Cookout. The first thing she said about it was, "This tastes like dead people." As you can see, it was a glowing recommendation.)
"While I was pooping, I started plucking my knuckle hairs, and you can't just start one of those and not do the other one, so I had to finish that..."--Bubbles
"Yeah, I just went there."--Howard, snapping his fingers as he says it.
"Asian Nerd, I'm going to have to sorry, but, and destroy your life--" Howard
--"What language are you speaking?"--The Asian Nerd, in response to the above.
--"I'm speaking Derp Language. I thought you'd understand it well."--Howard
--"Don't you mean you're Derping Speak Language?"--The Asian Nerd
"I feel like I don't know you anymore. This relationship is over."--Howard, sighing dramatically as The Asian Nerd messes up in a video game.
"...you can shove your irrelevant literal interpretation of questionably translated outdated assumptions up your arse."--Bubbles (Talking about what the Bible writes about homosexuality)
"I was talking, and then suddenly, drool everywhere!"--DeiDei
"They don't let anyone try to eat bicycles for them any more because people die"--The Asian Nerd, discussing the man who ate a bike to prove to Guinness World Records how strong and manly his stomach was. He died.
"Girls don't actually walk. They float. If you eat enough unicorn poop--"--DeiDei
--"Tch heheeh"--Howard (it was a snorty-laugh accompanied by a facepalm)
"Using it for evil would be like beating a unicorn to death with a bag full of rainbows."--Lem talking about the Perfect Bagels Veronica will use to beat Linda at Linda Bagel in Better Off Ted
"I've been doing assignments all day. My brain is like pooping everywhere inside of me."--Howard after trying to learn accounting.
"That would be awesome! I wanna be an octopus!"--Howard
"Old Macdonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-oooooo. And on that farm he had a dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog!!!"--The Asian Nerd
"I'm going to draw an intimidating eyeball!"--Little Monster, as we decorated a flag for his stick fort.
"I want to get my passport. I can't even go to Canada!"--The Asian Nerd
--"Yeah, remember, Canada? We never went there!"--Little Monster, responding to the above.
"The entirety of the credibility Singer worked to create for the entire duration of the essay is swiftly destroyed by the unrealistic goal that is impossible to achieve."--Howard's essay. /derp
"Oh look, a magical rainbow pony... with a horn!"--The Asian Nerd
--"Do you mean a unicorn?"--DeiDei
"Stop it, DeiDei! I'm trying to help these people destroy the Crystal Warrior!"--Howard, playing Realm of the Mad Dog as DeiDei pokes him.
"My lips are, like, lubed!"--Howard
"I hope there's a bird option"--DeiDei, trying to microwave a turkey wing to speed the defrosting process.
"Wow, that's a giant creme puff!"--Howard, again playing Realm of the Mad Dog, a video game containing much that is weird.
"What's with that Goron? Oh, that's a rock..."--The Asian Nerd
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