Nomsterli
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Joined 01-21-10, id: 2225154, Profile Updated: 08-26-12

Hello there! I haven't written anything so far and don't plan to in the near future, but since Fanfiction.net so kindly introduces me as an "avid fanfiction reader and an active participator in the world of fandom", I thought it would be nice to actually become more actice 'round here. Yes, authors, we are talking improved reviewing morals.

If you are considering to include some serious jewelry in your fic and need a word of competent advice, please feel free to contact me.

Since FF sorts myfavourites in some strange order I am yet to fathom, here are my faves in the order they ought to be presented:

Twilight

1. The Cullen Campaign

Absolute all-time-favorite! It's smart, it's funny, it's hot and it's educating! The writing style is awesome, and it is the best structured, straight-to-the-point fanfic I have ever read. The story is rather long, but it keeps its clear outline and refrains from dispensable details and subplots. Compared to a park, this one is the Versailles - extensive yet clearly arranged.

2. The Misapprehensions of Bella Swan

Crazy funny writing style. The plot is beatifully outlined and lavishly decorated with quick-witted dialogues and very inspiring smut.

3. Bella Swan: Kidnapper

It's just funny and leaves you with a fuzzy warm feeling. Also clearly arranged and unexpectadly realistic despite unrealistically perfect characters.

4. The Plan

A paradise build of deadpan humour. BPOV.

5. The Blessing and The Curse

The only Broodward I actualy enjoy. So H.O.T.

6. Once More, With Feeling

Very unorthodox plot centered around the fine institution named PISSD and featuring B & E as exes forced to work together.

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The Plan - OUTTAKES by QuantumFizzx reviews
REMOVED. Thank you for your readership. Kept a few chapters up to explain why & share outtakes alter. Obsessed but unnoticed for over a year, she puts a plan in motion to catch the eye of the corner-office. That's her plan. Fate has another plan entirely
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,768 - Reviews: 19566 - Favs: 6,608 - Follows: 4,497 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Of Cobbing and Cuddling by Bumbledbee reviews
After saving Scorpius Malfoy from the wrath of Professor McGonagall, Rose Weasley's day to day life begins consisting of more Scorpius Malfoy than she can probably handle.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 61,493 - Reviews: 328 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 12/24/2013 - Published: 7/3/2012 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... Ch. 101, Precautionary Measures: Pt. 2.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 101 - Words: 561,157 - Reviews: 23774 - Favs: 13,450 - Follows: 12,357 - Updated: 12/11/2013 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel reviews
Bella begins working for the elusive and distant Edward Cullen who she discovers is hiding behind an elaborate charade to maintain his secret lifestyle. Bella is determined to find out the mysteries of Edward Cullen but with what results? AU, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,751 - Reviews: 14267 - Favs: 11,362 - Follows: 5,287 - Updated: 5/16/2013 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Taken in the Night by sheviking reviews
Re-post of my first story, Taken. Bella is kidnapped by Edward, the man who has secretly wanted her and watched her from afar. Is it love or merely obsession which motivates him? Bella is about to find out. ON TEMP. HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 37,805 - Reviews: 2677 - Favs: 2,195 - Follows: 2,279 - Updated: 5/10/2013 - Published: 9/5/2011 - Bella, Edward
Beyond Inappropriate by bornonhalloween reviews
Edward is Off Limits, but when he tempts her again and again, how much can a hot-blooded, middle-aged woman take? Bella knows better than to lust after her son's best friend, but he's so damn perfect and the consequences seem miles away. All human, all BPOV.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 65 - Words: 75,162 - Reviews: 5322 - Favs: 713 - Follows: 664 - Updated: 12/27/2012 - Published: 9/10/2012 - Complete
Every Other Midnight by Kathryn's NomDePlume reviews
Professor Potter and Head Girl Lily Evans... The Dark Decline
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 80 - Words: 932,487 - Reviews: 4263 - Favs: 1,377 - Follows: 1,173 - Updated: 10/31/2012 - Published: 1/7/2008 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past by S'TarKan reviews
The war is over. Too bad no one is left to celebrate. Harry makes a desperate plan to go back in time, even though it means returning Voldemort to life. Now an 11 year old Harry with 30 year old memories is starting Hogwarts. Can he get it right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 390,734 - Reviews: 12056 - Favs: 14,398 - Follows: 13,059 - Updated: 10/19/2012 - Published: 10/28/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W.
A Pound of Flesh by jaxon22 reviews
To pay a debt she owes her father, Isabella Swan starts a new job as a prison tutor. Edward Cullen, with his own debts, is the Punk Ass inmate in her class. Can they fight the odds and their dangerous attaction to learn from each other? A/H, Lemons, OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 47 - Words: 517,119 - Reviews: 21192 - Favs: 10,301 - Follows: 7,881 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 4/26/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Beyond Inappropriate by Taste of the Forbidden Contest reviews
Bella's best friend Esme's son is also her son Jasper's best friend, and either way, she wants him baaaad! Don't judge, Edward wants her, too. And he's a MAN now, in Law School and everything! Should they? NO! Will they? Well of COURSE! All human, all BPOV.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,369 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 68 - Published: 8/30/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Working Relationship by Taste of the Forbidden Contest reviews
Bella, a fledgling lawyer, has better luck in a courtroom than with men. Enter the hottie in the pricey suit who offers to pay double her going rate, and he's not talking legal fees. The pair find themselves deep in a compensation-based misunderstanding until a few months later when she realizes she may be in love with her one and only regular.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,356 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 389 - Follows: 175 - Published: 8/3/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Grasping Darkness by KiyaRaven reviews
She dreams of darkness. Lust. Passion. The man she fantasizes about has it all, especially the darkness. The problem is, he's not really a man. Rated M for language & dark themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 267,922 - Reviews: 8237 - Favs: 5,486 - Follows: 4,132 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Baby You Can Drive My Car by syrrah reviews
Music fans think rock diva Bella Swan is brilliant, talented and a gift to humankind. People who actually know her think she's a menace to society, and a pain in the backside. Then Edward Cullen comes on board as tour manager, and who knows what he thinks?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 90,015 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 9/22/2011 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Bella, Edward
Offside by Savage7289 reviews
Edward's the star keeper for the Forks High School soccer team, and is already being scouted by leagues overseas. Bella's just moved from Phoenix and interferes with his…focus. Soccerward lives! Rated M for the good stuff, of course.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 125 - Words: 170,098 - Reviews: 33026 - Favs: 6,307 - Follows: 4,034 - Updated: 8/30/2011 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
In A Month: Sweep Any Girl Off Her Feet by BritishBitches reviews
Trying to catch her attention? Want to make a good impression on that special lady? Or just want to improve your social skills when dealing with the opposite sex? Well, you've found the right book! We're here to help! AH ExB RxEm AxJ
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 82,774 - Reviews: 1447 - Favs: 695 - Follows: 868 - Updated: 6/18/2011 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Edward, Bella
There Will Be Blood by johnnyboy7 reviews
Edward Cullen,25,the son of a Chicago mob boss. He is second-in-command, cold and dangerous. Bella Swan,18,small town girl who has just enrolled as a freshman at Northwestern. A story about how love can survive in the cruelest of worlds.Very OCC.Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 48 - Words: 368,286 - Reviews: 12182 - Favs: 8,643 - Follows: 3,963 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella outnumbered by dirtycheekymonkeys reviews
Bella is a child therapist who despises children. Her ovaries and woo-hoo have long since packed up shop in fear of the baby juice. A chance meeting with divorced father, Edward in a bar leads to hilarious complications and revelations. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,824 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 2/13/2011 - Published: 2/3/2011 - Edward, Bella
Once More, With Feeling by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Exes and co-workers Edward & Bella are sent to investigate the strange happenings in Forks, but they might drive each other crazy figuring out what's going on in the town. And between them. Humor/Romance.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 52,595 - Reviews: 1518 - Favs: 1,586 - Follows: 2,049 - Updated: 2/11/2011 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Bella, Edward
Potter's Potty Yuletide Love by georginacastleorpington reviews
Trapped in the Slytherin Changing Room on a mission with nothing but an invisibility cloak for company, the most terrible thing happens to Rose Weasley. She gets trapped under mistletoe with HIM. Scorpius Malfoy. RW&SM One-Shot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,557 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 19 - Published: 12/2/2010 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14088 - Favs: 14,626 - Follows: 8,103 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Need You Tonight by cosmogirl7481 reviews
This is my O/S for Marvar's birthday. Three prompts. It has to take place in the 80's. Edward must drink beer. And there has be a hot tub. What happens when two extremely different people meet and attract? Maybe they're not so different after all. AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,605 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 108 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Safe With You by sheviking reviews
One-shot birthday present for my beta, Melanie. Bella takes a nanny job for the summer with a rich family. When she meets Edward, the incredibly hot gardener, she is sure that he will break her heart if she isn't careful. Lemons and the usual stuff.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,335 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 188 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Just Be by mskathy reviews
Edward has competed with Bella every step of his adult life - culinary school, opening their own restaurants and finally on Iron Chef America. Will Iron Chef Cullen's cuisine reign supreme?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,055 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 396 - Follows: 95 - Published: 5/4/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Frenchie by WeatherWatch reviews
"I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky." It was the fourth pick up line in less than forty minutes.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Seamus F., Gabrielle D. - Complete
Dose of Your Own by OurLoveIsForever reviews
She's smart. He's smarter. She's rich. He's richer. She is amused by his reactions. He loves to give her hell. Perfect match? I believe so. Astoria/Draco. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 92,859 - Reviews: 915 - Favs: 554 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 10/19/2009 - Published: 3/21/2009 - Draco M., Astoria G. - Complete
Good Enough by staceygirl aka jackbauer reviews
Edward works for the FBI. He's the best in his field and the worst at relationships with a habit of falling quickly in and out of love. When he gets shot, his nurse will take care of more than just his medicine. Is she good enough? E/B AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 48,667 - Reviews: 1719 - Favs: 1,216 - Follows: 450 - Updated: 9/14/2009 - Published: 8/7/2009 - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 8490 - Favs: 13,203 - Follows: 2,695 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Till Death Do Us Part by Emmelie Cullen reviews
She wasn't supposed to be here! She was supposed to be dead! "Till death do us part, Royce." She whispered the wedding vows she'd never been alive to speak. The last thing I saw was Rosalie Hale's beautiful smile as she watched me die. Royces POV of death
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Rosalie - Complete
The Original Naked Quidditch Match by Evilgoddss reviews
When a Magical game of Truth & Dare goes wrong, the Gryffindor Quidditch team must 'bare' up and face the consequences. And as the news spreads like wildfire in mmail things get quite out of control.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,510 - Reviews: 742 - Favs: 2,816 - Follows: 403 - Published: 7/29/2007 - Harry P. - Complete