Hey everybody, Hana Kobayashi here, how's it going? Not a lot of stories on my profile here - I like to read, mostly. I do have stories, but I deleted because they were aweful, so hopefully next time I can do better :) I'm a high school student who procrastinates entirely too much. I'm the type of person who waits until the day before a project is due to do it ;
I have joined the review revolution, post this in your profile and join the revolution!
I, Hana Kobayashi, do solemnly swear to review every story I read, both enjoyable and atrocious. I will give credit where it is due and will never leave a review that reads like "gr8 job! i luv this so much so plz update asap!11". I recognize my right of freedom of speech, and I acknowledge that I am entitled to my honest opinion - not that of the majority of your readers. I also promise to enforce the rules of this site and will not hold back on reminding you that by posting your work on this site for everyone to see, I am allowed to review how I see fit and if you do not like it, you can either leave the site or limit the viewing of your work to only your friends and family.I have joined the Review Revolution. Post this in your profile if you too join the Revolution.
And now, quotes! *You feel a sudden urge to read them...*
"In my books there is life and death. Goodies get killed as well as baddies. It’s not like Walt Disney where there are singing teapots and we all go over the hill singing bobbidy-bobbidy-boo at the end so goodies get killed as well as baddies." - Brian Jacques, author of Redwall
"I don't want to survive, I want to live!"- Captain B. McCrea, Wall-E
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." - ?
"Bad fanfiction is like cockroaches. Every time you swat one, a zillion more pop up, and when you turn around, they turn out not to be dead." - ?
"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" - Ernest Gaines
"Easy reading is damn hard writing" - Nathaniel Hawthorne
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit." - ?
"Always make sure you write for yourself above everything else. Otherwise the story isn't worth sharing." - romantiscue (awesome, awesome, awesome)
This guy deserves special notice: I'm not sure if he's an idiot, or just the manipulating old bastard that 70% of all fanfic makes him out to be. The thing is, he:
a. Gave the Potters/Longbottoms the apparently WORST protection spell ever (Fidelius), along with horrible suggestions on how to use it- AKA, the 'You can be your own secret-keeper' fiasco.
b. Sent Harry to a place where he was almost GUARENTEED to be abused, mentally and/or physically (which, he admits, was his original plan), on the basis that it would be 'safest'. HELLO? Hogwarts, maybe?
c. Sent freakin' HAGRID- AKA, really nice guy, but not the best tour guide ever- to introduce Harry to the sights- and house prejudices- of the Wizarding World. (Seriously- he basically says that Slytherins are all evil, and literally says that Hufflepuff are: 'a load of duffers'.)
d. Brought the Philosopher's Stone to Hogwarts (apparently because the couple who had been holding it for bloody CENTURIES didn't want it), or at least a fake, and, as far as I'm concerned, set it up as a trap/training excercise for Voldy/Harry. I mean COME ON! The guy ADVERTISED it, and then made it so that a couple of 1st years could get through it, for God's sake!
e. Is apparently the worst teacher evaluator/employer ever, as well as the most horrible student-interface ever. (I'm looking at you: Snape, Trelawny, Binns...Quirrel, Lockheart, Fake!Moody, etc, as well as Mr. 'I Just Sit In My Office Everyday')
f. Couldn't be bothered to Legilimens his DADA applicants for years 1-4 (excluding Moony, of course).
g. Was apparently impotent during the ENTIRE 2nd book (which, by the way, I'm half convinced was also a test for 'lil Harrikins)
h. Was helpless (maybe) to safeguard the castle in book 3, and, in addition, didn't even bother to push for a trial for an innocent man.
i. Placed NO preventative measures on the Goblet of Fire.
j. IMMEDIATELY announced that Voldy was back, besides knowing that Fudge would rather crap himself in public than admit that.
k. Allowed for ludicrous amounts of government interference in a SCHOOL.
l. Is more focused than a single, abused student than the quality of education.
m. Not only allowed, but ENCOURAGED the existence petty and violent House rivalries.
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