HELLOOOO FELLOW HOMO SAPIENS
I'm not going to tell you my name because you might be some sort of pedo dude with no life who will send me letters saying:" I know who you are little girl" and that crap.
I am the no-nonsense-stick-to-the-original-book-and-HATE-LOATHE-DETESTE-NON-CANON-PAIRINGS
SO I'M SORRY BUT WHOEVER OUT THERE WHO HAS MADE A BELLAXEMMETT OR BELLAXJASPER OR EDWARDXALICE OR ALICEXBELLA (YEAH WHO WOULD DO THAT)
FOR MY SANITY.
OR OTHER ODD ANNOYING PAIRINGS ARE FANGXIGGY ARTEMISXHOLLY
OH AND IN CASE UR WONDERING, my fav authors thing, they are all good, MK MArie IS AWESOME and i love her stories, they reduce me to a pile of giggles. myboyfriendedwardsparkles HAS LIK STORIES FOR LIKE FUN and LAUGHTER and i'm in the process of readin tinaababy's stories and they are good, so yeah. I felt i should tell you guys, cuz, for some ppl, they hav loads of fav authors, bu you dont know who to go to.
MK Marie--FOr lovey dovey long stories that are AWESOME
myboyfriendedwardsparkles--FUNFUNFUN LAUGHTER not really serious BUT AWESOME
tinaababy--?! BUT STILL GOOD
T ON ALWAYS HAVING URL'S TO THE OUTFIT.
10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen:
10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”
10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale:
10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:
10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again.
And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?
1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen:
10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.
6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles
And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?
1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"
10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen:
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."
9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling
3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.
And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
10 ways to annoy Bella Swan:
10. Ask about Eric.
9. Ask about Mike.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.
10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale:
10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.
10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen:
10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”
6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.
4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.
And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black:
10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.
R.I.P Dobby, A Free Elf
I hope he is well, and knows how he influenced us all.
R.I.P Sirius Black
I hope he found his place back with James, and Lily.
R.I.P Albus Dumbledore
I hope he found his way back to his mother, father, and Sister, Arianna.
R.I.P Remus Lupin, & Nymphodora Tonks
I hope that they are together living happily.
R.I.P Fred Weasley
I hope he is well, and spreading smiles across those with him.
R.I.P Irina Denali
I hope she is happily living with her mother.
100 Things I Learned From High School Musical - HELLZ YEAH I DESPISEEEE HSM LIKE WTF IS IT, HERES TO ALL YOU TROY AND GABRIELLA H8ERS!!!
1) High school cafeterias are vast and spacious — leaving plenty of room to spontaniously break into song and dance — and are in no way packed, crowded or uncomfortable
AH- All Human- used in fanfictions where there are supernatural characters, but instead the characters are all human EX: No vampires in Twilight
A/N- Author's Note- when the author wants to explain something; usually in bold EX: Look Below
AR- Alternate Reality- world is the some but the basic (canon) facts are different EX: Harry never goes to Hogwarts
AT- Alternate Timeline- takes place in a different time
AU- Alternate Universe- world is different EX: No magic in Harry Potter
Canon- the accepted "official" material itself, and a concept or detail promoted by the original work and/or in accepted "official" material; the regular work; the same as the original story
Collab- Collaboration- fanfic written by several authors working together
Cross-over- the characters from two different stories interact EX: Twilight and Harry Potter
Dark- plots about death, violence, betrayal, or loss
Hiatus: a break or interruption in the continuity of work; put on hold
IC- In Character- the behavior of characters by what's written of them
Lemons- containing sex or sexual advances
Mary Sue- a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for their authors or readers
OC- Original Character- a character created by the author; the author owns that character
OOC- Out Of Character- referring to behavior of a canon character
OTT- Over The Top
POV- Point Of View- the perspective in which the story is written EX: Ron's POV or Bella's POV
RPF- Real Person Fanfiction- a fanfiction written about a real people EX: Robert Pattison
R&R- Read and Review- self explanatory
SI- Self-Insert- the author writes himself into the story
Songfic- the author uses an existing song lyrics to generate the theme of the story EX: You Belong With Me
Fluff- a cute and humorous fiction that has nothing more than cute "fluff"
She said that she wanted to get high - He took her to the tallest hill in town.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a loveletter from a boy to a girl... However, the girl's father does not like him and want them stop their relationship...and so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..
1 "The great love that I have for you
So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 18.104.22.168.22.214.171.124.126.96.36.199.25. (Odd Numbers) So..Please try reading it again! It's so smart & sweet... :)
¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨¨°º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„ is amazing
I LOVE 3OH!3!!
Favourite Character? Jane
Favourite Vampire? Alice
Second Favourite Vampire? Emmett
Favourite Werewolf? Seth.
Favourite Book? Twilight
Least Favourite Book? AGh, Breaking Dawn or New moon.
Favourite Quote - Twilight? "'What a sick, masochistic lion" Seriously in the movie RObpatzy looked like a rapist.
Favourite Quote - New Moon? "OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER JANUARY FEBURARY etc etc" lol seriously. Why. WHYYYY WHYYYYYYYY.
Favourite Quote - Eclipse? "Fell down again Bella?" "Nope, punched a werewolf in the face." BWAHAHAHHAHAHAH lol emmett cracks meh up.
Favourite Quote - Breaking Dawn? "The pain...was bewildering" BEWILDERING. SERIOUSLY?
Favourite Film? Film as in of the movies so far. New Moon...cuz Taylor Lautner is hot. Twilight was a gay pain in my bottocks and i havent seen eclipse yet neither do i want to.
Edward or Bella? Edward.
Bella or Rosalie? Rosalie. Bella is so annoying. love OOC.
Rosalie or Alice? Alice.
Alice or Esme? Alice.
Esme or Carlisle? Esme. cuz carlizzle is such a yoda. find the will edward FIND IT DAMN YOU.
Carlisle or Emmett? Emmett.
Emmett or Jasper? eh, ooo hard. cuz jasper is cool in the book with his cool hot battle scars, but emmett is just...funny. EMMETT
Edward or Emmett? Edward.
Edward or Jasper? Edward.
Alice or Emmett? Emmett.
Jacob or Seth? Seth.
Jacob or Paul? Jacob.
Paul or Embry? Embry.
Edward or Jacob? Edward.
1. What is your occupation? I'm a student.
2. What are you listening to right now? No Love - Eminem. KING MATHERS IS AWESOOME!!!
3. What was the last thing you ate? Ehm, those ginger snap type things you can get in IKea, here in good old China.
4. How is the weather right now? Pretty, damn hot. like the hot that is about to turn to rain cuz the air is full of dragonflies that just cant be good little buggies and stay in the air.
5. Favourite Drink? Coke
6. Favourite Sport? Handball...which isn't actually a sport, but i like throwing things. if not, golf. what a faggy sport. :O
7. Have you ever dyed your hair? Eh, once, as a young'n. i got brown streaks.
8. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses.
9. Pets? BUDGARARIES awwww pretty bird and a cat, James. so, 2 birds: Patrick and green bird and James Balthasar.
10. What's your favourite T.V shows? How I met your mother, South Park, Glee, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Vampire Diaries (its not that bad, very complex)
11. What's your favourite films? Moulin Rouge, Paranormal Activity, The Lord of the Rings, Pride and Prejudice *Kierra Knightly( (CHARLES BINGLEY ROCKS MY WORLD HES SO SOCIALLY AWKARD), You know these questions I loath cuz there never is an answer.
12. What was the last movie you watched? Slappy and the Stinkers...it was showing on HBO...nothing else.
13. Favourite day of the year? May 23rd, cuz people are nice to me and my friends give me presents.
14. What do you do to vent anger? Nothing, it really isn't healthy...or i just snap a TV in half like Edward in New Moon...or i...just don't do anything.
15. Fall or Spring? Fall.
16. What's on the floor of your closet? A box...
17. Favourite Smell? Food...mmmm...
18. What inspires you? Um...the fact that someday, i will be old enough to make my own decisions. XP not really
19. What are you afraid of? The dark. tehehe i know i know
20. Favourite car? Porsche orrrrrrr BMW
21. Where are you? My bedroom.
22. Look up, now look back, what did you see? Um...Wall...wall. what were you expecting Twilight and HSM posters all over them, pfffffff as IF. thats gay. sorry majority of FAnfiction out there.
23. Stand up, close your eyes, spin around three times, open your eyes, what do you see? My Mirror
24. What's your personality like? AWESOME.
25. Who do you have a crush on? No one.
26. You have a million dollars, what do you do? Donate half and save the rest.
27. Grab the closest thing to you, what is it? A broken hair tie...
28. What are you eating/ drinking right now? is this a trick question? ok, um my spit and i think i just ate my rubber band.
29. Get a book, flick to page 57, line 19, and word 9. What does it say? I picked some book from a box calleddd "Prep"...guess what that's about, the word is "Presence." oooo suspense.
30. Have a conversation with the closest person beside you, other than yourself. Yeahhhhh, talking to a sheep isn't very healthy...
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. i no this isn't actually true but i got scared. :P