ImBartSimpsonwhothehellareyou
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Joined 01-27-10, id: 2231833, Profile Updated: 03-23-13
Author has written 6 stories for Host, Twilight, and Maximum Ride.

I like to write in my spare time. It is my hobby so this site is kind of up my alley.

If you review my stories, I will love you forever. Alerts/ favorites are good, but not the same. I like to know what you think about it.

Thanks to all who read my stories anyways! XD

I have several ideas written down in my notebook somewhere. I would like to finish up some of my other stories before I start on them, though.

Hope you like some of my already-written fics.

3-23-13

I'm back after a long hiatus. My current project is Whispers in the Dark, an S&M story about Caius and my made up character. Please check it out.

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The Undying by A. M. Brossart reviews
After getting caught trying to loot Volterra's city hall, Dahlia finds herself sitting before Aro, a very peculiar man with blood-red eyes and skin as cold as death. Instead of turning her over to the police, he offers her a job as his secretary, and Dahlia hesitantly accepts. But what secrets are they hiding? And what happened to the secretary before her?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 33 - Words: 93,912 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 3/15 - Published: 7/11/2013 - Aro, Demetri, Heidi, Santiago - Complete
Take Your Breath Away by MidnightThief15 reviews
I hate you, and you hate me. Yet somehow, somewhere along the way, our hate sparked a passion, both dangerous and disastrous.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 39,090 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 347 - Updated: 12/25/2014 - Published: 7/26/2010 - [Bella, Caius] Demetri
Bound to a Blackened Soul by Onwind reviews
A massive amount of serial killer newborns are preying closer to Forks. The good news: I'm with my beloved Edward Cullen. The bad news: To stop the newborns we have to unite with the Volturi and I have a feeling the Cullens are hiding something from me...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 54,102 - Reviews: 1493 - Favs: 1,011 - Follows: 687 - Updated: 6/24/2014 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Bella, Caius - Complete
Like You by Petals Open to the Moon reviews
Sybil knew she had power. It grew as she did, even after her mother could no longer explain it to her. Even after she was all alone in the world, searching for the one man, the one memory, she was taught not to forget...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,350 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 2/11/2013 - Published: 5/17/2012 - Aro
Moments by Auto-Alchemechanicist reviews
A series of drabbles featuring our favorite adorable couple! Enjoy the different adventures these two live while in multiple settings filled with sweet feelings! Contains spoilers. R/R, plz!
Host - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 63 - Words: 22,023 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/3/2013 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Ian O., Wanderer/Wanda
First Year by Sage94 reviews
Heidi is a new student to Hogwarts. No, she is not eleven, but one of many homeschooled students who were forced to attend school under the corrupted Ministry. Year, 1997. In this story, I'm hoping to gain some perspective on Hogwarts in year 7. R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 58,574 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 11/4/2012 - Published: 11/7/2010 - OC, Severus S.
Crimson Eyes by Kiki-Jo reviews
The Volturi want Bella, after she caught the eye of one of the guard. Finally off haitus. Quick note, will be replaced by chapter 4 very soon. Rated T because I'm paranoid.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,190 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 10/14/2012 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Bella, Caius
A Castle of Ice by atinaej reviews
Bella fails to save Edward and is taken in by the Volturi. Aro finds her interesting, but Caius can't stand the power a human has over him.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 51,101 - Reviews: 777 - Favs: 653 - Follows: 766 - Updated: 6/15/2012 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Caius, Bella
Ruins at Dusk by Kyilliki reviews
Of burning pages, Caius and Didyme, and other things that cannot last.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,795 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/21/2012 - Published: 10/25/2011 - Caius, Didyme - Complete
Bleed: A Fanfic in 3 Parts by Petals Open to the Moon reviews
The Volturi live, feed, and kill as they please. There is no mercy. When Aster Dawson is miraculously saved from their clutches, she faces a world filled with more pain and terror than she could've possibly imagined. Partly told through her diary.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 25 - Words: 33,279 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 2/1/2012 - Published: 9/8/2011 - Aro - Complete
The Wolf in the Fable by Kyilliki reviews
This will not be a pretty love affair, rose-glossed and ornamental. Caius x Athenodora
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 18,598 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Caius, Athenodora
Oh Simple Thing, Where Have You Gone? by SamiMarianna reviews
'They only lived for the sex, for the pleasure. There was a fine line between a relationship and just sex.' Rated M for hints of sex. Dark and angsty. You have been warned.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 582 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Draco M., OC - Complete
Alpha's Call by Seylin reviews
Drabble. Seth can't deny his alpha's call... unless... Slash.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 467 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Marcus, Seth - Complete
By Any Other Name by Seylin reviews
Drabble. Marcus has a special name for Seth. Slash.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 486 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Marcus, Seth - Complete
Upside Down by Swyz reviews
Catherine knew it was time to move. She bit his lower lips and she smiled when she heard him moan. She began to unbutton his shirt slowly. When she was done she asked him " Do you want to feel a greater experience? " as she smirked.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,662 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/15/2011 - Published: 3/18/2011 - Aro, Caius
Dill, my old love Why did you leave? by Ellen-and-Keats4eva reviews
Remember when Dill told Scout that they were engaged? Well 5 years have passed and Scout's now 14, Dill hasn't been around for 3 of those years. One day Scout gets a letter from Dill, and is devastated. Suck at summaries.. Please read :D
To Kill a Mockingbird - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,872 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/27/2011
What? by Starrrry311 reviews
Luna wants to do WHAT with Neville? VERY OOC, Random one-shot. Neville in working in the Greenhouse, bytheway.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 761 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Neville L., Luna L. - Complete
Volterra II: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by Sage94 reviews
Second Part. Autumn and Kai go their separate ways, finding themselves, and more. Read and Review. Please read the first part, Fixed At Zero, to make understanding easier. Also, pairings are unclear, so bear with me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,735 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/13/2010 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Aro, Embry
Stuck with Her by Onwind reviews
I hate the way she talks to me. I hate the way she humiliates me in front of the Volturi. I hate the way she runs into trouble. But most of all, I hate the way she makes me want to get closer to her... COMPANION FIC TO STUCK IN VOLTERRA IN CAIUS'S POV!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,787 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 11/12/2010 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Bella, Caius
Наш отец Our Father by BokuWaHime reviews
Bella goes to Volterra before dying, she goes to church to cleanse her soul. Who would knew the horrors that would befall her in the dark depths of Saint Marcus' Castle? Why does Caius feel this strange pull to the mystery girl? Part of Our Father. DONE!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,794 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Caius, Bella - Complete
Volterra: Fixed At Zero by Sage94 reviews
Two girls on a trip across Europe make an unexpected stop in an Italian city in the middle of a festival. A tour guide mishap leaves them wondering what dwells inside the walls of Volterra. What will the Volturi think?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 30,930 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 10/26/2010 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Aro, Caius - Complete
Alternate endings and out takes to Pater Noster by BokuWaHime reviews
Alternate endings and out takes to "Pater Noster"- Some Parts are directly taken from the story to set the mood/context. This is part of the Our Father Series.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,076 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/28/2010 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Caius, Bella
The Difference by MrsMojoRising reviews
A random day in Volterra. A conversation between Aro and Caius about their difference of views with regards human women begins. Sequel to Cat and Mouse. WARNING: contains callous talk of rape. Don't read if you're offended by that.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,355 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Aro, Caius - Complete
The First Time by Darkwing731 reviews
One shot. Draco&Pansy. "I—am—not—a—virgin," Draco growled, and without thinking, he grabbed Pansy roughly by the shoulders and kissed her, shoving her up against the door.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,529 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/12/2010 - Draco M., Pansy P. - Complete
Stuck in Volterra by Onwind reviews
Victoria created over a hundred newborn vampires to help her kill me. The good news: The Cullens have a plan to trick her and will hide me somewhere safe. The bad news: The safe place is Volterra and I got Caius for a babysitter. Kill me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 50,432 - Reviews: 1709 - Favs: 989 - Follows: 466 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Caius, Bella - Complete
Mistress Misery: My Life Underground by Your Regular Belle reviews
When Avery DiLaurentis finds herself working for the Volturi, she gives up on leading a normal life. What with Aunt Gianna determined to get her killed, and Aro on the prowl, Marcus's tales of the past seem to be the only things keeping her alive.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 39,373 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 9/14/2009 - Marcus, Aro
Cannibalism by ThePenWielder reviews
An Iggy and Ella oneshot. Just some cute fluff if you are a fan of Eggy. Cute story too even if you don't.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 795 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Iggy, Ella - Complete
Iggy's World by Niamhooo reviews
A oneshot on how Iggy views the world and what its like to be blind. He describes flying, fights, Ella, his gift.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 762 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/18/2010 - Iggy - Complete
The Night That Never Ended by ennalyra reviews
What happened the night Iggy lost his sight.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 383 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Iggy - Complete
Cat and Mouse by MrsMojoRising reviews
ONESHOT Cauis is bored. When Cauis is bored he likes to play a favourite game: see how far loyalty can stretch. This time it involves Livvy and Chloe, two tourists to Volterra.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,850 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Caius
Edward can you smell my pee? by nattycullen reviews
Bella has a few questions for Edward...random one-shot thats very stupid but a 'tad' funny.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 406 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dangerous? by Uchiha Evangeline reviews
Louis has just got new books and Lestat decided to read one of them. Twilight was its name. .:Oneshot:.
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,301 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Complete
Virgin Stains by pensive puddles reviews
I never liked you. In fact, I hated you. That was obvious. A blind muggle could see it! But you, you never gave up on me. You looked at me in pity. I had to get rid of it, of you. Your blood makes such pretty designs in the snow. Wish you could see it...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,707 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/2/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Whispers in the Dark reviews
Vada, 16, was kept after an unfortunate experience of getting caught up in the tourist crowd 2 years ago and kept hidden as a servant for a reason she does not know. However, with some, she is used for reasons other than what she was originally thought. And they were bound together by anything but love. CaiusOC. Rated M. Originally named Jumper,
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,283 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/9/2013 - Published: 3/25/2012 - Caius, Demetri
Max, Are You a Man? reviews
I'm normally used to being asked absurd questions. However, I have never expected this, from Angel of all people. Max POV. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 455 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/17/2011 - Max, Angel - Complete
Crimson Passion reviews
It's choice, not chance that determines your destiny. Jade Williams made a choice that determined her fate. Now there is no going back.Ever. Alec/oc
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 33,873 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 4/20/2011 - Published: 5/18/2010 - Alec
Coveted Torment reviews
She didn't know roaming around his quaters could cause such a consequence. She loved every minute of it. X one shotX
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 894 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/13/2011 - Caius - Complete
Bust Your Windows reviews
A song fic about Leah's revenge on Sam after he imprinted on Emily.Bust Your Windows- Glee cast. R and R.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,118 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Leah, Sam - Complete
Orchids reviews
Its been a year since Wanda came to the caves. This is just something I thought of. This is my first fanfic but constructive critisism is welcome and review will be appreciated
Host - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 270 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/18/2010 - Wanderer/Wanda, Ian O. - Complete