DinoJake
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Joined 01-29-10, id: 2235629, Profile Updated: 01-13-15
Author has written 15 stories for Halo, Mass Effect, Gears of War, Digimon, Godzilla, Static Shock, Team Fortress 2, Pacific Rim, and Teen Titans.

Hi. My name is Jake, and...I got nuthin' else.

dinojakeswordworks.tumblr.com


What made DinoJake think turning Humans into a bunch of pussies was a good idea? Here's hoping the following blog helps:

And my subsequent apology to the Halo community:


Fanfic Progress Reports

The Last Spartan - Chapter 49 in progress. Estimated release date: As soon as I stop experiencing existential angst.

DigiDorks - Episode 7 in progress. Kinda. Estimated release date: Whenever I feel like it.

Rise of the King - Postponed indefinitely until further notice.


Last of an Ancient Breed - A Spinoff by Zgamer

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9116551/1/Last-of-An-Ancient-Breed-A-Side-Story-to-The-Last-Spartan


I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I’m the girl who’s scared of talking to my parents and have them find out I’m bisexual for then to hate me.

Re-post this if you believe discrimation is wrong. Please do your part to end it



Guess I'll post this here since I have a Digimon Fanfic now.

Digimon Survey!

1. How old were you when you first discovered Digimon?

I'd say I was about eight. Started watching it when it first premiered.

2. Favorite Character?

Hard to say. I was one of those kids that was there for the cool monster fights more than the human characters, so I guess I don't really HAVE a favorite, per se'.

3. Which digivice did you like best?

The D-power, since it allowed the human characters to do more than just stand on the sidelines and cheer.

4. Favorite digital monster?

I got a whole list of these. Shellmon, Tuskmon, Seadramon, Megadramon, Garurumon, Kabuterimon, basically any digimon that was big, loud, and in your face. Oh and missiles. Missiles were also a good way to get on my favorites list.

5. Favorite crest?

Courage. I liked how it actually required Tai to be legitimately brave instead of just recklessly stupid.

6. A couple you wish existed?

I guess Taimi, since Mora's canon now...What?

7. A coupling you can't stand?

Can't think of any. Not even the Yaoi ships. I still don't care for the Yaoi ships mind you, but I don't wanna bash the fans that do.

8. Favorite coupling?

Taimi, I suppose. When it comes to shipping, I prefer the road less traveled...What? Stop giving me the evil eye.

9. Favorite friendship?

Kazu and Kenta, since those two were like an old married couple.

10. Favorite season?

Toss-up between Digimon Adventure and Digimon Tamers. On the one hand, Adventure was the one that really started it all, but on the other hand, Tamers had a more sci-fi feel to it. Tamers really did put the 'digital' in 'digital monsters' with all the computer programming stuff going on. Plus, as I said before, Tamers actually had their human characters doing things to help their digimon in battle, not just sit on the sidelines and root for them. So I guess my favorite season really IS Tamers, but with Adventure as an EXTREMELY close second.

11. Who do you think wore the goggles best?

Tai. Can't beat the original.

12. Least favorite digital monster?

Calmaramon, if only because her appearance in Digimon Frontier spoiled many an adolescent wet dream.

13. Least favorite character?

Once again, don't really have a least favorite human character. Didn't feel too strongly for the humans one way or the other. I was there for the monster fights, to be entirely honest.

14. Least favorite season?

Don't really have one. I know a lot of people say Zero-Two and Frontier, but I thought those seasons were actually alright, and if nothing else, they brought some neat ideas to the franchise.

15. A character you would be best friends with?

Matt. He's a pretty laid back guy and looks like a man who knows some good metal. Could probably help me pick up chicks, too.

16. A character you wouldn't get along with?

Joe. My chronic laziness would probably rub him the wrong way.

17. Best dressed character?

Mimi. She rocked that cowboy hat.

18. Worst dressed character?

Yolei. She wore a rugby helmet. Why was she wearing a rugby helmet?

19. A moment that made you happy?

Any moment where one of the digimon digivolved for the first time.

20. A moment that made you sad?

The ending to Adventure. Not gonna lie, I cried like a baby. Keep in mind, I was eight.

21. A moment that made you mad?

When Myotismon killed off Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon. I liked those guys!

22. Favorite Villain?

Myotismon. An evil genius, and genuinely creepy to boot.

23. Least favorite villain?

Dynasmon and Crusadermon from Digimon Frontier. The characters themselves weren't so bad, but when they showed up, the show became too formulaic. Dynasmon would fight EmperorGreymon. Crusadermon would fight KendoGarurumon. The royal knights win every time and successfully harness the region's fractal code. Rinse and repeat for about half a dozen episodes. They could've at least mixed things up with a wide variety of minions. You know, something BESIDES that army of Knightmon they threw at all their problems?

24. Favorite minor character?

Henry Wong's dad.

25. Favorite episode?

Hard to say, but I think I'll go with the one Tamers episode where Takato and Henry discover Shibumi's library. The leadup to it had this sort of mysterious awe to it, like investigating ruins. Least, that's what I remember. Though I remembered reading Dinotopia recently where the protagonists of THAT story had to navigate some ruins, so maybe I just liked underwater caverns and ruins, I don't know.

26. What crest would you have?

Knowledge.

27. Would you ever have a digimon as a pet?

Probably not. Yeah, it would be cool at first, but after a while, he'd be like an annoying roommate. Touching all my things. I like my personal space.

28. English vs. Japanese names?

English, if only because those are the ones I grew up on.

29. Favorite quote?

"Come out and fight me like a mon!"

"What's all the yelling about?!"

"I'd love to eat a cheeseburger about now. But in this world, a cheeseburger would probably try to eat me."

That last one is from Frontier and an accurate summation of the Digital World in general.

30. An unpopular opinion?

I honestly don't mind that Sora chose Matt over Tai...Okay seriously. Stop looking at me like that.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Lost Civilization by dashboardgecko reviews
Since beyond living memory, great and fantastic beasts have roamed the world, and mankind has fought them; some for glory, some to protect others, but always the monsters have been there. But when legions of mysterious people appear, engulfed in strange blue light, bearing deep wounds of both mind and body, strange things begin to happen, and a darkness unlike any other awakens. 3U
Monster Hunter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 53 - Words: 1,188,911 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 3/22/2014 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Complete
Pacific Rim: The King of Monsters by iowaforever reviews
One year after the end of the Kaiju War, Raleigh Becket and Mako Mori are prepared to start a life together away from the Breach and the Jaeger Program. But when a mysterious egg is discovered on an island in the Pacific, the two shall be drawn back in as a new threat is unleashed upon the world.
Crossover - Godzilla & Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,930 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 12/28/2013 - Published: 7/17/2013 - Godzilla, Raleigh B., Mako M.
Staring into the Abyss- An Oral History of the Kaiju War: Part 1 by Pollardinator reviews
A prequel to the events of the movie detailing the international effort behind the first Kaiju attacks and the formation of the Pan Pacific Defence Corps . From Jaeger pilots and military personnel to world leaders and civilians,all have their own part to play as humanity begins its war against extinction. Written in the style of Max Brooks World War Z.
Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,072 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 9/1/2013 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Mako M., Stacker P., Crimson Typhoon, OC
The Hero Who Loved Me by Random Equinox reviews
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Heroes come from all walks of life. None of that helped Miranda understand one Commander Shepard. For all she knew, he came from dark space.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 65,110 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 1/27/2013 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Shepard (M), Miranda L. - Complete
The Hero We Deserve by Random Equinox reviews
Humans are being abducted, probably because someone has really poor taste. Shepard has to find out why and stop them with the help of a band of misfits. They say it's a suicide mission. So what else is new? Well, getting killed for starters...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 441,612 - Reviews: 463 - Favs: 464 - Follows: 298 - Updated: 1/20/2013 - Published: 5/15/2011 - Shepard (M) - Complete
Accidental Hero of the Galaxy by Random Equinox reviews
Commander Shepard. Hero of the Skyllian Blitz. First human Spectre. Potential savior of humanity and the known galaxy. Pity no one asked him what HE thought of all this.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 188,673 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 597 - Follows: 245 - Updated: 11/29/2010 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Shepard (M) - Complete
The Enemy of My Enemy by Katsuhiro reviews
"Of all the conflicts recorded in the latter stages of the Human-Covenant War, perhaps one of the most interesting was that which occured on the Outer Colony Crassus, c.Nov.2552. Interesting, and with an entirely unexpected outcome.." ONI Case-File 428/
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 115,360 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 496 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Titan Shock reviews
Ever since all the Bang Babies were cured, things had been peaceful in Dakota. But that peace has been shattered by a new threat, one that wants to recreate the Big Bang! It's up to Static to face this new enemy, but he's gonna need some help...
Crossover - Static Shock & Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 48,739 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/11 - Published: 4/20
The Last Spartan reviews
An AU fic in which the Halo and ME universes share the same galaxy. After a well deserved rest in Cryo-Sleep, Master Chief finally awakens...to a whole new galaxy.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 452,319 - Reviews: 3177 - Favs: 2,698 - Follows: 2,720 - Updated: 2/21 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Master Chief/John-117
DigiDorks reviews
Once upon a time, there were eight children who saved two worlds. This story...is not about them. This story is about a bunch of dumb kids from New York and their ugly pets. Rated M for naughty humor and lots of swearing.
Digimon - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 31,748 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/30/2014 - Published: 9/29/2012
The Last Spartan (Version 20) reviews
After a long deserved rest, the Master Chief awakens in a whole new galaxy.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,553 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 4/1/2014 - Published: 4/1/2013
Rise of the King reviews
After 5 years out of the PPDC, Pentecost invites Raleigh back into the Jaeger Program for a dangerous mission. Is he up to it? And more importantly, can he defeat an even greater threat lurking in the shadows? Maybe, but I doubt he can do it alone...
Crossover - Godzilla & Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,777 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 66 - Published: 10/31/2013
Bum Reviews: Mass Effect 3 - Citadel reviews
Who thought it was a good idea to clone a hobo anyhow?
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,377 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/20/2013 - Complete
Bum Reviews: Halo 4 reviews
Wake up, Chester.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,120 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/29/2012 - Complete
Bum Reviews: Mass Effect 3 - Omega reviews
Chester is one of the lawless of the galaxy (because vagrancy and drug use are crimes in citadel space).
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,142 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2012
Bum Reviews: Mass Effect 3 - Leviathan reviews
The Bum's first DLC review! He'll breach the darkness! Because the darkness has change!
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/18/2012
Bum Reviews: Mass Effect 3 reviews
The Bum returns for one last romp around the galaxy that will surely not end in crushing disappointment...surely.
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,971 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Complete
Bum Reviews: Halo Reach reviews
Reach was Chester's home too. He lived in a cardboard box in an alleyway in New Alexandria. Covenant bastards glassed that too...
Halo - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 525 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/1/2012
Bum Reviews: Gears of War reviews
Hobo with a Chainsaw.
Gears of War - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 667 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/9/2011
Bum Reviews: Halo: Combat Evolved reviews
The tale of Chester-116. He was not a good spartan.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 739 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Published: 7/19/2011 - Complete
Team Effect 2 reviews
In 1965, nine mercenaries are frozen so that they can save the future. 220 years later, one very specific person thaws them out. Now, these lunatics may be all that stands between Humanity, and the greatest threat of our brief existence.
Crossover - Mass Effect & Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,909 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 7/7/2011 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Shepard (F)
Bum Reviews: Mass Effect 2 reviews
The Bum saves the galaxy. God help us.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,149 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/16/2010 - Complete