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Joined 01-30-10, id: 2236277, Profile Updated: 09-28-10
Author has written 30 stories for Sonny with a Chance, Hannah Montana, Codename: Kids Next Door, Shake It Up!, and Jessie.

Favorite show: KND!!!!!

Second favorite show: Good Luck Charlie

Favorite book: Depends on the week.

Favorite song: Depends on the day.

What you want most: To meet the people of KND.

Another thing you want: A real hamster, not just the five toy ones I have (Nugget, Mickey (short for Michelle), Winky, Bounce, and Chubbo (named for the hamster on KND).)

Something random about you: I think of Abby Lincoln as my soul twin, and Fanny Fulbright as my little sister.

The Ten Songs Challenge!

Set your ipod on shuffle and write down the first ten songs you get. Then write a fanfic. Ten chapters, and the song titles, IN ORDER, need to be your chapter titles! Have fun and see what you can do with this!


Everyone knows how to be good. Everyone knows how to bad. Some people be bad to have fun, others because they hate being good. If your one of the few people who like being good MOST of the time then put this on your profile.

If you have weird friends put this on your profile.

92 percent of Teens would die if Ambercrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Put this on your profile if your part of the 8 percent that would be laughing their asses off.

98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, put this on your profile.

If your obsessed with fanfiction, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you throw a fit when someone says the iCarly and WOWP characters aren't real, copy this into your profile.

If you know you will meet the characters of your favorite show someday, no matter how many people tell you they're not real or they're a cartoon or whatever, copy this to your profile.

The ways you know you're addicted to Codename Kids Next Door:

-You call your uncle Father

-You swear that you're a KND operative but you were decomissioned

-You have written at least 3 KND fanfics

-You cried when the show ended

-On Halloween you expect to see a large pirate ship driving in the streets

-You think brussel sprouts will kill you

-Whenever you see the math question 3+4 your first instinct is to put a heart beside it

-You want a pet skunk

-You've tried to build a treehouse before

-When you see a toaster your first instinct is to turn it into a weapon

-You have long winded nicknames for the people who live down the street

-The rainbow monkey theme song is etched into your brain (LOL yea it gets stuck in my head for like five hours at a time whenever I hear it)

-Whenever you see a bald guy with sunglasses you yell 'NUMBUH ONE IS BACK!"

-When Operation I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S aired, you freaked out because you thought Numbuh 2 and 3 got married

-At the end of Operation I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S when Numbuh 4 tells Numbuh 2 to stop hugging his wife you cheered

-You have an itch to speak in third person (well, that's Abby's thing...)

-The pun 'I'd just turn the other cheek' when referring to your friend's large butt makes you crack up

-You have a soft spot for blonde Australians

-You prefer watching Codename Kids Next Door over age appropriate shows

- You deem any and every bad joke you hear "Hoagie-worthy".

-You use KND as an excuse to get out of a date. (ex. My uncle just blew up all the Ice Cream in Texas and i have to go and talk to him that day.)


1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer


Love bug (um, not really, but watev)


For Sale (lol I hope not!)


Shelf (well, I have a shelf full of gifts I think about..)

4.WHAT IS 2+2?

The One Who Stayed (um….what?)


If We Were A Movie (not rlly shes a girl and im straight, but this would be the one for the next question)


Pushin’ Me Away (possibly, lol we hardly even talk anymore)


BB Good (lol my life is anything but perfect, but its good)


Smart (so true!)


Sick (with L-O-V-E!)


La la land (lol they do think I’m in my own world most of the time)


Burnin’ Up (that would be a nice one actually)


Crocodile’s Toothache (lol what the heck, at least it’s not Girl’s Night Out. Would be an interesting one if I was a dentist)


Who I Am (I love being who I am)


Fly To Your Heart (all I can say is…hit it spot on)


Shoot The Moon (um, ok, not my first choice)


Flyin Away (idk, my house flying away in a tornado would be pretty bad)


Everybody Else (gasp, does this mean I will be murdered or something?)


Pumpin’ Up The Party (ok, have no idea how I got one that would actually work as a response, just not from me)


Just Like You (it’s always fun to see someone acting like me or someone I know, and to say “you’re getting more like me everyday!”)


Wake Up (from a perfect dream, not cry exactly, but its never fun)


Make A Wave (um…………..)


The Best of Both Worlds (um………..that would be fun actually)


Pop Princess (I think this explains it pretty well)


I Learned From You (I guess I’d make sure I listened a little more)


Nobody’s Perfect (this could work as my motto, if I swapped answer 1 and answer 25 this would be perfect)


Stone Telling (LOL!)

What do I like about KND?

I like what they stand for

I like what they do

I just plain love the kids

But what else do I like?

I like how Abby’s hair doesn’t stay perfectly braided all the time

I like how Fanny sometimes makes mistakes

I like that Kuki can take the time to fool around

And how she can always beat Wally at video games

And that he throws a temper fit when she does

I like the love ever-present between Cree and Abby, even when they annoy each other

I like how everyone always sticks by each other’s side

I like how Wally blushes when Kuki smiles at him

And how he won’t say he loves her

But I know he does

I like how nobody’s perfect

And sometimes things happen for no reason

I like that no one forgets the past

Yet they’re always ready for the future

I like that it's real

LOL check out my website! its got some KND music vids, plus what I think all the characters would look like as babies!

A black man sat down in a restaraunt. A white man walked up to him.
White man: Colored people are not allowed here.
Black man: I was black when I was born.
I am black right now.
I am black when I'm cold.
I am black when I am in the sun.
I am black when I'm sick.
And I will be black when I am dead.
But you sir,
You were pink when you were born.
You are white right now.
You are blue when you are cold.
You are red when you are in the sun.
You are green when you are sick.
And You will be purple when you are dead.
So dont you dare call me colored!

Post this on yer profile to enforce anti-racism!

Sad News. Pass it on
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.

Gal: Hello ppl reading our profile. We are mad. Wanna know why? Well for one thing we cant eat pork!
Kay:Yep swine flu
Gal:Cant eat chicken 3X
Kay: Ya..bird flu
Gal:Cant eat beef =/
Kay: Mad Cow
Gal:Cant eat eggs :o
Kay: Yeah Salmonella..WAIT NO EGGS?! But kids love eggs :(
Gal:Cant eat fish..
Kay: Heavy Metal poisonings in their waters
Gal:Cant eat veggies or fruits
Kay:And guess what that leaves...
Gal:Chocolate and Icecream!! X3
Kay:Remember Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts!
Gal:Put this on yer profile and you will lose 2 whole pounds! :o
Kay:If you ignore this you gain ten. >:D

Okay here are some awesome words and sayings all of you have to start using! We made these up..well most of them anyways!
Don't be so vanilla! (Found this on a commercial)
Don't be so Fitzy! (You know how Fitzwilliam is all...well u know how Fitzy is... so Kay made this up)
Thats so binkin! (Ace, gal's sister, said binkin instead of stinkin so ya. Its a good thing tho.If something is cool its binkin)
Thats so bunkin! (Kay heard gal wrong when Gal told her bout it so now this is a saying of ours too)
Bloon... -
Rub a butt before you massage it.
(Long story short..our friends have very bad hearing)
Corn nuggets!

Okay we need you to get ppl saying this! Spread it amongst yer friends even tho u dont know some of the meanings. If u really wanna know u can ask.

Warnings People have found on boxes and wrappers and junk like that:

Bowl Fresh

Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet


These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe


Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Pepper Spray

Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(whoops…too late)On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those bull dozers)

On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmm now Im curious..but hey curiousity killed the cat o.o...)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.
Nah really?

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Hm. Raise yer stump if you've done that before..

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly

I know ya'll hate me now I just destroyed all those little boys beliefs. Who are the gonna turn to now? Obama!? Heh heh no offense Obama lovers...

'I Cried'

When you were 8 years old, your mom handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by yelling at her and telling her its the wrong kind

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not writing a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, she fell and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your MOM, post this on your profile and title it 'I Cried'

 Who do the KND couples remind me of?

Wally and Kuki- Sonny and Chad (pre-dating) Or perhaps pre-dating Jackson and Sierra?

Hoagie and Abby- First-season Lily and Oliver

Nigel and Rachel- Hmmm, not sure

Nigel and Lizzie- LOL probly Lewbert and Marta

Fanny and Patton- Hmmm lol Jimmy and Cindy

Angie and Harvey (read LazyPencilLender's fics if you don't know who she is...i just like them 2gether!)- hmmm Sam and Freddie

Pfft ok this is just 2 funny to keep talking about

Child abuse is very, very real. If you are 100 percent against child abuse and want to help stop it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girl: Slow down. I'm scared

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No its not. Please it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

Girl hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. 2 people were on it but only 1 survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

(Cutest thing ever :D)

If your heart melted when you read this, copy and paste this on your profile c(:

You know you're obsessed with KND when...

1) You scream when your parents dont let you drink root beer.

2) You try to kill anyone with pale blue eyes.

3) You suggest they pour nacho cheese on your head when you get lice.

4) You got in trouble once for wearing a red hat to school.

5) You think your teenage sister is plotting aginst you.

6) When ever somebody gets fired, you scream "YOU JUST GOT EIGHTY-SIXED!"

7) You scream "RIP OFF! WHERE ARE THE ADULTS?!" when you see a bull-fight.

8) You KNOW adults are evil.

9) You have an obsession with candy.

10) You go to the zoo only to "SET THEM FREE!"

11) You almost fainted when you got chicken pox.

12) You scream "NO! THEY'LL SCRAMBLIFY MY BRAINS!" when you have to go to the hospital.

13) You really REALLY want a treehouse.

14) You spazm whenever somebody takes your stuffed animals.

15) You wanna go to the moon one day.

16) When ever you see a football player with blonde hair you scream "TRAITOR!"

Ways to Annoy people at the movie theater:

~Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

~Clap when the good guy gets killed.

~During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

~Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

~Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

~Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

~Yell out what is going to happen.

~Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

~Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

~Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

~Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

~Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

~Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

~Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

~Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

~Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

~Try to start a wave.

~Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

~Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

~Sing with the theme music.

~Bring and use your own air freshener.

~At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

~Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

~Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

~Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

~Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

~Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

~Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

~When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

~Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

~start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

~Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

~Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

~Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

~Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

~Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

~Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.

~Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

~Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

~Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

~Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

~Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.

~Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

~Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

~Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

~Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Heather

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Heaizzle (how do you pronounce that? I have no idea.)

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Splatter-paint Cat

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Rose Tenth (I hate doing things with street names. Stupid number streets!)

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Talheman (um….)

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Tye-dye Smoothie (sweet!)

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Elsamre (what??) (wait, now that I look at it, its kinda pretty)

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name, dad's middle name (boy: Dad's first, girl: Mom's first)): Louise James (how british)

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Bella (I LOVE that I could do one like this!)

10. YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (type your name with your elbow): yherwey6tyh[retr5 (LOL!)


War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon."

"There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt."
"So what do the other 59 of them do? Tickle?"

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"Never memorize something that you can look up."
— Albert Einstein

When you rearrange the letters:

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When you rearrange the letters:

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Month one

I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your hear

Copy and Paste this if you like to/have posted the same thing over and over again

Okay, If you are'nt prejudiced to: Special Eds, People of dif races, old peeps, peeps with deformites, orrrr ur family, post this on ur page~!


You talk to yourself a lot. (well im the only one who can answer my questions.)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (well no one else has the patience to listen.)

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean taking out someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

If you think life would be dull and dreary without technology, copy and paste this into your profile

If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hunt through people's profiles to find copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

My Mother...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I paid so little attention to my iPod that I didn’t notise it stopped for a full TWELVE MINUTES.

I paid so little attention to the TV that the show I hated played- five times- before I changed the channel.

I paid so little attention to the computer I didn’t notise my sister come and turn it off.

I paid so little attention to the book I was reading that I was surprised to find the main character captured, when last I checked, she was strolling through a meadow-or was it eating breakfast?

I paid so little attention to my teacher that the next day I complained about her never teaching us this stuff.

I paid so little attention to my cat that she got out the door and I had to chase her around for an hour.

I paid so little attention to the playground that I accidentally kicked someone in the face on the swing.

I paid so little attention to my sister that she started racing hamsters up my bed before I could tell her no.

I paid so little attention to my parents that I freaked and searched for them for half an hour- before my sister told me they had gone grocery shopping.

Copy and paste this if you zone out sometimes! Or a lot of the times….or all the times…..

How To Annoy People At An Amusement Park

~Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatly if they would like their picture taken.

~Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.

~Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.

~Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.

~Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.

~Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid hand movements.

~Start talking about shaving your excess body hair in line while everyone around you is silent.

~Find someone and tell them you're lost. Use your best acting skills.

~Go up to the boy band wanna-be group and pretend to be really excited and ask for their autographs, reassuring them that they're gonna make it big soon.

~Take an Alka-Seltzer tablet and begin to have spasmatic movements in your body while foaming at the mouth at the very top of the tallest ride.

~Begin to cry when they start the merry-go-round and have them stop it because you're too scared to go all the way.

~Start talking loudly about the last time you got stuck upside-down on this ride, scaring everyone in line around you.

~Ask someone that looks like they're in a hurry for directions.

~Complain about how dirty the seat is, and demand they clean it off.

~Walk up to anyone in the park, and say "Hi, my name is your name" and offer a handshake.

~Ask ANYONE for their autograph.

~Advertise for a theme you're not at.

~Whisper right in someone's ear, "I know what you did last summer."

~Comment how good you look in every picture of you on a ride.

~Make fun of everyone else in every set of pictures taken during the rides.

~Go up to every character walking around and give them a big hug and call them your "hero."

~Ride every water ride and inform everybody with you that you can't swim and everyone's gonna drown.

I like cheese. I think the sky should be pink. How come we drive on parkways, but park on driveways? Or why are apartments called 'apartments' when they're all stuck together? Lemonade tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this.

Things to do on an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. [omg I laughed my eyes out when I read this. I'm totaslly going to try this!!!]

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

If you have a weird/insane friend/brother (especially the psychotic ones) and you love his/her weirdness/insanity, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you’re regularily online until past midnight, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. Nobody says "game over" to me!!

Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment

If your family constantly occuses you of being obsessed with random stuff, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever needed a witty comeback to keep your social status but couldn't think of one, then two hours later you think of the perfect thing to say, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your profile

If you think too much swearing is unnecesary,copy and paste this to your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe.Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts of at the others

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles,And you like Copy & Paste stuff,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile

If one part of you is calm and the other part like to stand on their head and sing theme songs,copy and paste this to your profile

If you have authors you respect,copy and paste this to your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile!

If you're both insane,copy this into your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever wanted to be pied in the face, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would stand up for your favourite pairings and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine: Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, EmpoweredWolfWrath, metasgirl, PenelopePotter28,

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Kathleen-chan, Life is a Highway66, moviemanic122893, Ham-Kelly- now Chibi Corn Chip, DolphinInsomniac 15, Cosplay Chan, Umbreon Mastah, Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Darkest Daughter, EmpoweredWolfwrath, metasgirl, PenelopePotter28,


Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

Most stupid people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Guns don't kill people. I do.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The Stupidest Things On Products (i stole this from randomzchicka)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

Life is a Maze. Love is a Riddle. Can you figure your way out?

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enableyou to fly". (Awh, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).

I feel like writing a skit….

Abby: You always feel like writing something or other

Me: Well I just do

Fanny: Why is my friend so crazy?

Wally: Well now you HAVE a friend

Me: -stomps on Wally’s foot-

Wally: OW!

Cyrus: Hey peeps! Hey Little Miss Brit!

Me: Oh, and what is Cyrus the Annoying doing in MY SKIT???

Cyrus: Just popping in


Cyrus: Well what kind of a stupid name is Fanny?


Me: -punches Cyrus-


Cyrus: Ow! Don’t do what?


Cyrus: Alright I’m going!

Me: -trips Cyrus on his way out-

Cyrus: What was that for?

Me: Oh like you don’t know!


If Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Them In Your Enemies' Eyes

Hand Over The Chocolate, And Nobody Gets Hurt
Sanity Is Overrated
When I Told Your Boyfriend That He's Gay, He Hit Me With His Purse
I'm Not Strange! I'm Different!
I'm Not Short, I'm Vertically Challenged
I'm The Type Of Girl Who Would Burst Out Laughing In Dead Silence Because Of Something That Happened Yesterday
Good Girls Are Bad Girls Who Don't Get Caught
I Have Lots Of Talents, I'm Just Not Good At Any Of Them
Don't Knock On Death's Door. Ring The Doorbell And Run. He Hates That
Life Isn't Passing Me By, Its Trying To Run Me Over
Stress- The Condition Brought On By Overriding The Body's Desires To Kick Someone's Ass
If Santa, An Honest Lawyer, And A Nice Politician Were Together In A Room, And There Was A Cookie, Who Would Get It? Santa, The Other Two Don't Exist
People Used To Call Me Names. But That's Okay, They're Dead Now
My Knight In Shining Armor Turned Out To Be Some Loser In Aluminum Foil
Don't Piss Me Off, I'm Running Out Of Places To Hide Bodies!
Is It Just Me, Or Do Automatic Doors Make You Feel Like A Jedi?
I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I'm Enjoying Every Minute Of It
People Fear The Strange And Unusual. I Am The Strange And Unusual
If At First You Don't Succeed, Destroy All Evidence That You Tried
I Ran With Scissors... AND LIVED!
That, My Children, Is Called A Wall. But Beware, The Wall Is Solid. Yes, Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid, For We Cannot Walk Through It! Believe Me Children, I Have Attempted This Many Times Before
My Imaginary Friend Thinks You Have Serious Problems
If You Think Losing Your Mind SLOWLY Is Bad, Try Losing It QUICK- I'm Sorry, What Were We Talking About? And Who Are You?
If Stupidity Got Us Into This Mess, Why Can't Get Us Out?
There's Nothing Wrong With Arguing With Yourself. Its When You Argue With Yourself And LOSE When Its Weird
You Know Its Gonna Be A Bad Day When You Fall Out Of Bed And Miss The Floor
All Things Considered, Insanity May Be The Only Reasonable Alternative
I Reject Your Reality And Substitute My Own
Tell The Truth And Run
One Night, I Lay In Bed, Looking Up At The Stars, And Thought, "Where The Hell Is The Ceiling?"
I've Got ADD And Magic Markers. Oh The Fun I Will Have!
Officer, I Swear To Drunk, I'm Not God!
Come To The Dark Side... We Have Cookies!
Right Now, I'm Having Amnesia And Deja Vu At The Same Time. I Think I've Forgotten This Before...
I'm On A Quest To The Deepest, Darkest Corners Of My Room In Search Of What Some Would Call A "Floor". A Long And Difficult Task Awaits Me. Wish Me Luck My Friends, For I May Not Return Alive
Stupidity Killed The Cat. Curiosity Was Framed!
Get Off Our Planet Alien Scum!
I'm A Black Belt In Origami!
I Did What They Said And Chose The Road Less Traveled... Now Where The Hell Am I?
When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Apple Juice, Then Laugh While People Try To Figure Out What The Hell You Did
Why Do Adults Teach Kids That Violence Isn't The Answer, And Then Have Them Read About Wars In Schools That Solved America's Problems?
It Doesn't Matter If The Glass Is Half Empty Or Half Full, Just Drink It And Get It Over With
the Surest Sign Of Intelligent Life Out There Is That None Of Them Has Ever Tried To Contact Us
Why Is It Necessary To Nail Down The Lid Of A Coffin?
Why Don't We Ever See The Headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
We're Americans. We're A Simple People... But Piss Us Off And We'll Bomb Your Cities
My Best Friends Are The Kind That If My House Were On Fire, They'd Be Roasting Marshmallows And Flirting With The Firemen

Write Down Ten Random Characters!

1. Abby

2. Fanny

3. Rachel

4. Kuki

5. Sonya

6. Nigel

7. Hoagie

8. Wally

9. Patton

10. Harvey

Four invites Three and Eight to dinner at their own house. What happens?

Kuki: Hi everyone!

Wally: Why am I even here?

Rachel: Because I told you to tell her you like her!


You need to stay at a friend's house for a night. Whose house, One or Six?

Me: I’m going to Abby’s house YAY! LOL now I get to mess with Cree…..

Two and Seven are making out when Ten walks in. Ten's reaction?

Harvey: Um….blech…..goodbye….

Three falls in love with Six. Eight is jealous.What happens?

Rachel: Well tell Kuki you like her and you won’t be jealous of our love!

Nigel: Yeah just tell her!

Wally: NEVER!

Four jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who rescues you, two, ten or seven?

Fanny rescues me, then realises Kuki just wanted to play a game. Then we all play tag for ten hours.

One decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what happens?

Nigel walks in.


Abby: Cuz Abby felt like it


Three has to marry either Eight, Four, or Nine. Who do they choose?

She chooses Patton, then divorces him and elopes with Nigel. LOL RACHELxNIGEL RULES!

Seven kidnaps Two and demands something from Five for Two's release. What is it?

Doesn’t matter, because Fanny already beat him up and escaped.

Everyone gangs up on Three. Does Three stand a chance?


Everyone is invited to Two and Seven's wedding except for Eight. How does Eight react?

Wally: I didn’t wanna go to a dumb wedding anyway.


Why is Six afraid of Seven?

Nigel: HEY! I am not!

Hoagie: Yes you are. Deep down inside.


Five and Nine get drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

Me: What the heck guys?

Sonya: -giggles insanely-


Patton: Nothing!


I start chasing Patton around and Sonya falls asleep on the couch.

Nine murders Two's best friend (Has to be someone on the list). What does Two do to get back?

Pounds him into next century.

Me: How dare he murder me!
Me: Well yea I have like powers like that

Six and One are in mortal danger. Does Six save One or themselves?

Nigel saves Abby. Yah!

Eight and Three go camping. But they forget food. What do they do?

Rachel: How did you forget food!

Wally: I thought you were going to bring it!

Rachel: Oh, no, you said you would!

Wally: I did not!
Rachel: -plays back a recording of Wally saying he would bring the food-

Wally: GAH!

Five is in a car crash and is critically injured. What does Nine do?

Patton: I guess I’ll have to tell someone

Me: -smacks Patton upside the head- WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SUCH AN IDIOT!?!?!?!
Patton: What?

The quiz is over. By the way, how did Two and Seven end up?

What is with all this two and seven stuff? LOL ok Fanny ends up stuffing Hoagie in a trash can (again) and then runs off to be with Patton.

If you like Pop Tarts copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still think the Kids Next Door is the best cartoon IN THE WORLD and nothing will ever compare to it, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you open your milk carton on the opposite side it tells you to just to get back at the adults who made said milk carton, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, or The OC or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your idea of fun is reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile (Abby and Fanny constantly take over my thoughts…mostly Abby tho she’s always the one talking in my brain)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you hate people who swear becouse they think its cool, copy and paste to your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers have sex, do drugs and drink alchohol. Put this into your profile in you are included in that 2 that doesn't, mainly because you are sitting at home, reading and being a good young child.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your @$$ off.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think rap is the most awful thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile lol my dad’s british so I do that 1 a lot…and whenever I watch a bunch of knd episodes with fanny in them it takes me a moment to stop talking irish!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "two small" and "off it's orbit" for some scientist's liking. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an annoying younger or older sibling, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like something was watching you then turned around and saw that nothing was there, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read a story, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the type of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you work better to music, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.

90 of teens will want to try a drug between the ages of 13-19. If you are one of the 10 that rather lose a limb before taking drugs, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I am the kid that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the kid that people look through when I say something. I am the kid that spends most of there free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the kid that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the kid that doesn't spend all there time on MySpace, or talking to a friend nonstop on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the kid that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the kid that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the kid who knows and is proud to be who they are, doesn’t care if people call me weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express themself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a bf/gf to complete him/her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the kids who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, MiniBellaSwan, Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale, Emmett or Edward, Volleyballgurl09, Radr180, Linzerj, Butchee, xFireChickx, rachpop15, PenelopePotter28

Try And Read This

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the fsrit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs psas it on!

Difference between Best Friends/ Friends...

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents Mr. and Mrs., and grandma and grandpa


FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never see you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in his/her body if he/she hurts you

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: help you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: give you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: take yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipe your tears when you're rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goe up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Have you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff and give it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS:Lose your stuff and tell you, "my bad .. here's a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: Have to be told not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste"

FRIENDS: Comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: Sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: Are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think you're insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: Are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: Are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: Kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: Are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are asking why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: Dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: Dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: Call you retarded for liking a boy that you know is leaving in one month

BEST FRIENDS: Will call you retarded for liking a boy that you know is leaving in one month, but still will be your shoulder to cry on

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap.


Why am I addicted to KND?

Honestly, at first I wanted NOTHING to do with the show. But op. MAURICE caught my heart, and from then on, well...

Why am I a Fanny-fan?

She can be a nice person...when she chooses to.

Why do I feel like I'm best friends with a bunch of cartoon characters?

Because I REALLY want to be!

Why do I hope that I'll meet them someday?

Um, hello, how AWESOME would that be!

Why do I think of Abby as a soul twin?

Because we're so much alike! Starting with the annoying sister thing going all the way through to our undying love for ice cream (LOL)

Why am I asking all these questions?
Cuz I felt like it...and I was bored...

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile.

If you talk to inanimate objects (ex. "WORK, stupid computer!), copy and paste into your profile

If you believe Narnia is real, copy and paste this to your profile, and add your name to the list: Miss Pookamonga, breezybrez, Clear Plastic, narniagirl17 :), fionagurls1301:fictionlover94, PenelopePotter28,

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile

Only fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.

If you have ever conversed out loud with the voices in your head and had people look at you like you were insane, copy and paste this into your profile. (“Abby, as much as I love you having here, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!” Which freaked out the girl named Abby that I was sitting next to.)

Always & Forever.
Keep KND Alive & Never Ending.
Don’t. Grow. Up.
Stay. Immature. Forever
3/4 forever! GO KND!

How many stupid things have you done?

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are when you're not/or had had people tell you that your highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it (or an orange)
18. Have had a drink come out of your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then put the old clothes back on

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard

39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Have melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Said I’ll race you to someone and then ran really far before you realized that the other person wasn’t running.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth
101. have turned around, only to run into a wall.

102. Kept your pajamas on under your clothes- and didn’t realise it until you were at school

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

whos cruel idea was it for lisp to have and s in it?

are children who act in 'R' rated films allowed to see them?

If the sky is the limit then what is space, over the limit??

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?

Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do
you call a girl that is named after her mother?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

if two wrongs dont make a right, try three

whoever said nothings's impossible, they never tryed slamming a revoling door!

apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.

borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

ifr quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

how is it possible to have a civil war?

if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? (YES IT WOULD!!!!!!)

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

When life gives you lemons, doesn’t it owe you sugar and water to make the lemonade?

6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue

2.All idiots after reading this will try it

3. The first truth is a lie.

4.You are now laughing at your own stupidity

5. you will put this on your profile

6. you still have a stupid smile on your face


1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how y the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin humming the theme to Star Wars.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant roach into the room and release it on a nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

42. Dress like the professor.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better .

The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)

(I think the gender thing is hilarious. It’s kinda interesting at first, but when it gets down to masculine bras and feminine beards, well…..)

To Do List:

1. See if bookworms bounce.
2. Achieve this by throwing self down stairs.
3. Find something to become obsesssed with.
4. Research the word 'Oxymoronic'.
5. Prove everyone else wrong.
6.Conduct experiments into the electrical conductivity of cheese.
7. Work out what the heck E=MC2 means.
8. Conquer the world. Before breakfast.
9. Put some Ragu on a sled, and push it down a hill.
10. Kidnap an imaginary book character.
11. Sharpen hockey stick.
12. Hit someone with aforementioned hockey stick.
13. Find somewhere to hide from police.
14. Run around screaming 'The angels have got the phone box!' Note how many odd looks, panicked expressions, laughs and weird burst of blue light I get.
15. Buy chocolate spread. Have it on crumpets.
16. Become a master hypnotist.
17. Hypnotize a pineapple.
18. Lick my elbow.
19. Paint the entire house bright green.
20. Find something rhyming with 'silver'.
21. Find how many people think 'orange' sonds like 'guillible', when said slowly.
23. Avoid mindwipe.
24. Find Itex. Blow it up.
25. Actually, get some bombs. And an AK-47. Then blow Itex up.
26. Grow wings.
27. Get admitted to a mental institution, then initiate a mass break-out.
28. Spontaneously combust.
29. Find out where they store the Rubellium...
30. Kill whoever thought up homework. In worst way possible.
31. For the above, I need the TARDIS. Gp find that first. And steal it. And run away from a very angry Doctor about to skewer me with a sonic screwdriver.
32. Work out where the pretty lights come from.
33. Find number 22.
34. Try not to think about fluorrescent penguins for a whole 5 minutes.
35. Duck punches currently being aimed at head.
36. Laugh manically.
37. Create a horcrux. Actually, make someone who I really hate do it.
38. Breath underwater.
39. Grab a random passer by. Waltz with them.
40. Convince somebody that there are faries living under the earth.
41. Eat pot of pesto. With no pasta.
42. Become emo ninja.
43. Scream 'I like CHEESE!' whenever anyone asks you a question. Then proceed to hop in circles before collapsing on the ground.
44. Squirt ketchup all over furniture. Claim to have been attacked by vengfull nargles.
45. Look for missing socks. If in doubt, ask Iggy.
46. Do homework that was due in for last week.
47. Listen to song. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, until imprinted on conciousness.
48. Teach everyone the dead pinyata dance.
49. Play with fire.
50. Run away to join the circus.
51. Get another chainsaw. Last one broke half way through sawing someones head off...
52. Hit people over the head for no appareent reason, before running away. Cackle manically while doing so.
53. Repeat what people say. At the exact time they say it. Ooh, tricky. You need to be phsycic for this.
54. If someone says they're worried, reply with, 'Don't worry. I've got a toothpick. Nothing can go wrong!'
55. Add 'doom' on the end of everything, eg. 'Please pass me the carrots of doom' or 'That rabbit of doom doesn't look very well, does it?'
56. Mkae asbltoeuly no sesne.
57. Find an obscure town in an obscure country on Google Earth. Tell everyone it has the key to immortality somewhere near it.
58. Poke rocks. If asked why, say, 'For no good reason.'
59. Stare at the sky. When a sizeable number of people have joined the staring, quitely walk away, and observe from a nearby, comfortable spot just how long the crowd stays there.
60. Become paranoid.
61. Ask a complete stranger if they'll marry me. Propose using a grapefruit.
62. Hit people over the head with books.
63. Hide computer first, so it doesn't get confiscated... like last time...
64. Hide it underground.
65. Hope seismology sensors don't pick up the vibrations...
67. Lizxy... hehehehehehe... hehehehehehehehe... Lizxy, hehehehe...
68. Hoard all the shiny stuff in house. Pile it on chair. Say, over and over, 'My precious!' in creepy Golum accent.
69. Get a motto. Something odd.
70. Wonder if anyone is actully reading this.
71. Turn all the baked bean cans upside down in Tescos. If questioned, it was caused by a bump in the fabric of the time-space contium...

These are all the things that I have done, and if you have done them too, copy and paste them to your profile!

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

I am not on drugs, I am on sugar. If you are on sugar, copy and paste this on your profile.

If Sonny and Chad need to figure out that they belong together already, then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you just put that last one on your profile AFTER they started dating and don’t care, copy and paste this to your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever talked to inanimate objects like they were people, and then tried to get others to do it too, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" song copy this into your profile!

How to slam a revolving door: Shove it in the direction it's not spinning, then stomp off. Nobody said the door actually had to STOP MOVING or make a loud noise.

How to nail Jello to a wall: put a hot glue gun in it, then let 'er rip. It'll turn hard, but as long as it's flat, go grab the nails.

The answer to life, the universe, and just about everything: 42 (I haven't even seen that movie... YET.)

How to drink air (not a proven method! Actually, none of my methods are proven!): Freeze it. Or use a straw. Pick one!

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you keep too many secrets, paste this in your profile

if your female then paste this in your profile

if your immature then paste this in your profile

if you don't know what the FN button on your keyboard is/does then paste this in your profile

if you don't have a life then paste this in your profile

if your always on the computer paste this in ur profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Fang. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you hear the voice in your head. Crazy is when stare at the ceiling for three hours thinking of what to put in the next chapter of your fanfiction and then forget what book it's based on. Crazy is when you run into an inanimate object, then kicked it, and said "Stupid ...!", then, later on, you went back to whatever you kicked, and apoligized to it. Crazy is when you get caught talking to your imaginary friends in school and your entire class stares. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

My ceiling is white. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two mooses meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Chocolate tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you’re POSITIVE that everyone on this website is a total nut job but we don’t care anyway, copy and paste this to your profile.


Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops On my desk, I have a work station. Shouldn't that be where the work stops?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Why is it that 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged!?
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
Isn't it weird how the main characters in Maximum Ride and Dark Angel are both genetically recombinant beings named Max?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Can bald men get lice?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse
Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?
Why is it called common sense if it's so rare?

wierd things I have learned So far:

There are over 122 flavors of pocky.

Hello kitty wedding rings exist.

Hamsters have periods... -_-'

Spinach Ice cream...

Eyelashes don't grow back if you cut them...

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.


way she looks through a pair of binoculars. I can’t stand


My hamster house


Suite Life on Deck (almost wrote Desk LOL)




8:56 (no seriously)


The TV


Four hours ago, I was going to the park


The rest of some girl’s profile


A shirt I tye-dyed in art class last year and jeans that in a few more wears will give me SPS


Ye-yas, I dreamed that my grandmother took me to some restaurant in Sweden for Christmas for no reason, we drove all the way there (from america) and all we did was sit in the foyer at a small table with a red tablecloth and talk and stare at fish and sometimes I couldn’t see her but she was still there and then I went to dinner with a family and they said that waking up was the same as dying and then my parents told me we were going to a relative’s house but we wound up back at our house.


Looking at the stuff on this person’s profile


Pictures. Some of them I drew, some of them I printed off (the printed ones are all of KND people!)


Not lately….




Star Struck (but I was only half paying attention)


My own laptop, a small beach house in Australia, and five thousand pounds of oranges to deliver to Haiti


Um……………………..something about me that you don’t know


Make me in charge of more stuff (everything in the world would run sooo much smoother!)


Um.. Stupid, dumb, a stain on the earth. (my sis wrote that, but I can’t say I disagree)


Amanda, or Abby, or Natalie, or Natasha (I’m partial to A and N names)


Still Amanda, Abby, Natalie, or Natasha


Depending on where

Last night, I dreamed that I was blind.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed - I'm not a can, so don't label me.

Excuse me...have you seen my sanity?...I think I lost it.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Come over to the good side, we have Fang and Iggy!

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

When life gives you hell, you charge in with a bucket of water.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the door bell then say trick or treat!

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Boys are like pennies, two faced and worthless.

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.

When life gives you lemons throw them in life's face, they're probably poisoned.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B, well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is - why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough!

I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

There is no "I" in team but there is definitely a "ME"...

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous.

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary: girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world: ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 10?

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, for I may not return alive.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog, with ice on the road.

The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what your up too

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for eating most of them.

I'm the kind of girl who's not afraid to prank my friends.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!

I don't get even, I get odder.

If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.

If I were any lazier, I would slip into a coma!

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed Ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Never drink water...if it can rust iron, think of what it can do to your stomach.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

This is for you who are against child abuse! I know I am!

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you have a heart.

Natural Highs

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It Does Make You Feel Good, especially #45.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As Part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped if favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 2 letters shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Some of my friends actually took this seriously. If you had a good laugh or if you just think it's funny, copy and paste it into your profile, and pass it onto others who could have a good laugh

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Reasons why girls are the best (this would have caught Fanny’s eye so of course I had to read it for her)

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

16. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

17. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

18. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

19. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

20. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

21. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

22. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

23. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

24. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

25. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

26. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid


1.When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15.Swat at flies that don't exist.

16.Tell people that you can see their aura.

17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"

27.When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "9") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker!"

28.Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

29.Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

30.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

31.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

32.Meow occasionally.

33.Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

34.Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

35.When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

36.Say "Ding!" at each floor.

37.Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

38.Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard... listen to his son whine about being bored. keep a straight face when people complain about potholes. be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting ready for work. be understanding when a co-worker complains about a bad night's sleep. be silent when people pray to God for a new car. control his panic when his wife tells him he needs to drive slower. be compassionate when a businessman expresses a fear of flying. keep from laughing when anxious parents say they're afraid to send their kids off to summer camp. keep from ridiculing someone who complains about hot weather. control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his coffee being cold. remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog. be civil to people who complain about their jobs. just walk away when someone says they only get two weeks of vacation a year. be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the house.

The only thing harder than being a Soldier..

Is loving one.

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them

wat i wish i knew sooner

dont drink grape juice with your uniform on 2 mins from school

dont wait for ppl that moved on

dropping ur cell ino water kinda kills the phone

ur mom will find out if u lie they have superpowers

u havent lived until uve failed something in honors

dnt fall in lov with some1 3000 miles away

goldfish r boring pets

if it hurts DONT do it again

dnt sprint around a pool trying 2 impersonate the popular girl at your school...

wen in doubt duck wen certain dnt bother ur screwed

if ur math teacher tells u 2 shut it or shell give u a zero shes serious

if at 1st u dnt suceed give up no need in being ridiclious about it

hair happens 2 be flammable...

black cat, white pants, nuff said

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

"When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and let the rest of the world wonder how you did it."

When life hands you lemons

When life hands you lemons

When life hands you lemons

If you’ve been reading my profile for more than 20 minutes, copy this into yours!

Simply refuse to sign for them. Life's lemons can't be delivered without an authorized signature.
Just as life hands them to you, quickly toss them back. Yell, "You touched 'em last!" Then run away.
Cut them in half and squeeze the stinging, citrus pulp into the eyes of those who would dare to mock, threaten or oppose you.
Would you ever consider living abroad?
Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
George Bush:
If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Tell me something about you that I don't know:
If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
What is the last film you saw?
What do you think of this quiz?
Seen anything weird lately?
What is on the walls of the room you are in?
When did you last laugh?
Did you dream last night?
What are you wearing?
Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
Without looking, guess what time it is:
What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
Grab the closest book to you, open up to page 81, what does line 14 say?

Random things I found EXTREMELY funny (sorry for repeats, I copy-and-pasted from somewhere else

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Meet Me In My Teenage Years by Jeni27 reviews
They're all in the TND, but only some of them kept their memories. When something traumatic happens to Kuki, she gets sent back to Sector V. Will they be able to help her get through her pain? Will they even remember who she is? 1/362 2/5 3/4 60/86
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,706 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/30 - Published: 4/22/2010
What The Future Holds by Laurie43 reviews
What does the future hold for Sector V? Rated T to be safe and for future chapters Main pairing is 3/4 with little bits of 2/5
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 129,367 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 10/30/2015 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Kuki S./Numbuh 3, Wallabee B./Numbuh 4
A Plot for Revenge by LiebeMaja reviews
Wally gets an unexpected visit from someone who plans to ruin his life. It's mainly 3/4, but it has hints of others. It has some violence and some swearing. My first fanfic! Please review. Sorry for the long wait!
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,216 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Wallabee B./Numbuh 4, Kuki S./Numbuh 3 - Complete
Can I love you again? by littlemissfg reviews
The gang is back, but so is Lizzie. She wants revenge but what will happen to her ex, and his friends?.. And what would happen if she tried to take over the world, along with villains, her children, and her husband?.. Lots of characters including the appearances of numbuhs 1, 362, 2, 5, 3, 4, 86, 60, my own creations 5250, A and some grown-up children. Please Review.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 61,312 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/24/2011 - Published: 6/3/2010 - Wallabee B./Numbuh 4, Kuki S./Numbuh 3 - Complete
What are you trying to say? by LazyPencilLender reviews
Centered around Number Eleventy-nine and her best friend Harvey McKenzie. Two slightly crazy KND operatives get kidnapped by Father, who tries to get information out of them... which proves to be very difficult. 363xOC, others. T for kidnapping
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,509 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Harvey mK./Numbuh 363
Friendship, Romance, and Jealousy by A New Side Of Awesome reviews
The best Wally/Kuki moments of the series that include a lot of friendship, a little hint of romance, and a touch of jealousy.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,519 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/3/2011 - Published: 7/29/2010 - Wallabee B./Numbuh 4, Kuki S./Numbuh 3
My Child by numbuh310alltheway reviews
Some one shots of the characters of KND with their children. *better than it sounds.* R & R please! NEW AND FINAL CHAPTER!
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,165 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/22/2011 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Complete
Operation: FRIGHT by Numbuh88 reviews
In a semi-spoof of 'Nightmare on Elm Street', Father has created a device that allows him to take control of the dreams of the Kids Next Door, and it's up to Numbuh 5 to save them.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,169 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/25/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Benedict U./Father - Complete
Origin by Numbuh Phenon reviews
The truth of how the show, Codename: Kids Next Door, came to be. This is the dark story Sector V never wanted you to see.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,874 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/3/2010 - Complete
Operation: NUDE by Numbuh88 reviews
The Delightful Children have released a new weapon on Sector V, putting the Kids Next Door into a royally embarrassing situation...
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,859 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Nigel U./Numbuh 1, DCFDTL - Complete
Darling, Je Vous Aime Beaucoup by Numbuh Phenon reviews
Her life with him was filled with cheesy lines and bad french. And she wouldn't have it any other way.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,345 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Hoagie P. G. Jr./Numbuh 2 - Complete
Operation: FANBOY by cartuneslover17 reviews
What did new operative and sector leader Rocky, along with Sector V, do during preparations for her aunt and the Toiletnator's wedding? And who did she meet? CROSSOVER WITH FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM, A SHOW ON NICK! Chp. 4 features guest stars!
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,017 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 9 - Updated: 8/13/2010 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Wallabee B./Numbuh 4, Harvey mK./Numbuh 363 - Complete
Who and What Art Thou by tmcala reviews
Babysitting can always be a learning opportunity. 2/5
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Hoagie P. G. Jr./Numbuh 2 - Complete
KND: Know Your Stars by GoldenFlither reviews
Get to know the cast! Based on the popular comedy sketch from the '90s TV show, 'All That.'
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 2,362 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 12/30/2006
Operation: CHANGE by cartuneslover17 reviews
Sector V has moved on without Numbuh 1 and things are the way they always were. But what happens when a new girl moves in and she is determined to become a great KND operative? And what is up with the DCFDTL? And has the Toiletnator found love?
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 39,309 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/5/2010 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Toilenator, Wallabee B./Numbuh 4 - Complete
Red Hat by metasgirl reviews
Who knew that throwing out a red hat could be so painful?
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 502 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5 - Complete
The Tragic Accident by babyzebra reviews
The TND go to beat father but something Tragic happens... Read more to find out
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,560 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/3/2010 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Kuki S./Numbuh 3, Wallabee B./Numbuh 4 - Complete
Understand by wolfishmeow reviews
Wallabee Beetles can't stand anything girly. Kuki Sanban, on the other hand, loves anything that is plush and cute. What will happen whenever the two are left alone when Sector V leaves the Treehouse? YAYAYAYAY I'M DONE :
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,811 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/3/2010 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Wallabee B./Numbuh 4, Kuki S./Numbuh 3
Waiting for You by TheirDiamonds reviews
A Vacation is a time for relaxation, not relationship triangles. Three casts go on a trip, but soon learn to take sides as love interferes their trip. Sonny is confused, but wants to pick the right one.
Sonny with a Chance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 26,553 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 8/2/2010 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Chad D. C.
Operation HELLISH by asd'viers.dfga reviews
A demon? And the portal that Numbuh 2 had mentioned...the Australian just might be faced with his biggest challenge yet. Can he save her? Wally/Kuki Rated T for now.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,916 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 7/20/2010 - Wallabee B./Numbuh 4, Kuki S./Numbuh 3
Cheesy Business by Numbuh Phenon reviews
This is war, the word friend has no meaning here. The members of Sector V erupt into an all out battle royale as they fight to claim, The Prize.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,830 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 21 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Complete
They Made Him Bald by Numbuh Phenon reviews
He got lucky the first time, but after foolishly breaking into their home, they took the chance to break him. The only solace Abby could find was that just like her, they failed.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 28,295 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Nigel U./Numbuh 1, Abigail L./Numbuh 5 - Complete
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Amelia Stories reviews
Another Ross kid. Naturally, they needed more. This little girl is something special, though, and no one is quite sure what to make of her. Also, I suck at summaries. An out-of-order fic. T for safety because of the way Heather talks and not much else.
Jessie - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/2/2012 - Ravi R.
G&T's story reviews
A look behind the true Gunther and Tinka and the origin of these foreign twins. Read and you may be surprised what you discover...
Shake It Up! - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,302 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/23/2012 - Published: 10/19/2011 - Tinka H., Gunther H.
Envy Shay reviews
/But aside from personal appearance, probably the most noticeable thing about her was the tall golden half-curtain-rod she carried./ a lil thing starring my own OC...
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/25/2010
Revenges reviews
Formerly The NotSoHaunted House.Decided to change this one up a bit. A Sonya/Lee fic. Amidst all the getting back at eachother between the boys and the girls, they fell in love.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,985 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/12/2010 - Published: 9/21/2010 - Lee/Numbuh 84, Sonya/Numbuh 83
What happened last night? reviews
/The floor was strewn with food, decorations, and people. "Hmm," Abby mumbled as she woke up. "Heather, how did this all go wrong?"/ A story I wrote for no reason. A little romance, but mostly just wierd.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,181 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Kuki S./Numbuh 3
Just some memories, Wally reviews
A 3/4 oneshot...kinda. While helping her grandmother clean out the attic, young Jackie Beatles stumbles upon something from her grandparents' past.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 286 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Kuki S./Numbuh 3, Wallabee B./Numbuh 4 - Complete
Under the Mistletoe reviews
LOL yes its November...but NOONE CARES ABOUT THANKSGIVING so I'm doing my Christmas story NOW! Your fave couples or maybe they aren't wind up under the mistletoe. Starting with Lee/Sonya and building up to Wally/Kuki! NOW COMPLETE YAYZ! BUTTER!
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 781 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/14/2010 - Published: 11/8/2010
Splat reviews
/I looked up. A blob of pink paint was dripping from the doorway./ Just a ficlet.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 118 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/12/2010 - Sonya/Numbuh 83 - Complete
Trickster reviews
/Seeing his daughter so lifeless, so seemingly dead, something just connected in him./ How one movie took down one of the more major villains, next to Father of course. Rated T for fake suicide.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,127 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/12/2010 - Fanny F./Numbuh 86, Mr. Boss - Complete
A year without rain reviews
Songfic-can you guess the song?-Kuki misses Wally after he was decommissioned.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 538 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Kuki S./Numbuh 3, Wallabee B./Numbuh 4 - Complete
Her Best Friend reviews
Just something I wrote out of nowhere.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/24/2010 - Fanny F./Numbuh 86 - Complete
A newfound trust reviews
Karaoke night finds Abby once again, and this time she has a song for her sis.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/14/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Cree L./Numbuh 11 - Complete
Late Night Chats reviews
What will we talk about late in the dark of night at a sleepover? Just a few random chats that you only really have when you're trying to get to sleep. FEATURING Abby, Fanny, Sonya, Kuki, Rachel, and ME a.k.a. the OC from If I was there.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 8/22/2010
The Big Mistake reviews
Something goes wrong on Cree's date, and she knows she has made a big mistake. Now there is something new on the way, and no one is sure about what will happen next. Rated T just to be sure.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,006 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Cree L./Numbuh 11, Abigail L./Numbuh 5
The Sister Switch reviews
What would happen if the Lincoln sisters woke up after an accident- in eachother's bodies?
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,093 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 8/14/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Cree L./Numbuh 11
Abby Sings reviews
Happy Lincoln Sisters Day! I'll be posting in all my Abby and Cree fics today! And here's a new one! Abby in a karaoke contest- quick little ficlet!
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 390 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5 - Complete
No you're not reviews
One of those "Sector V meets their kids" ones. Well, if you're into that stuff, it's been rattling around in my head for like ever. The story's better than the summary, LOL, I'm just bored. 3/4 2/5 and a lil bit of 86/60 and 1/362.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 9/14/2010
In the TND reviews
Instead of the bright flash of light that everyone told me would be my last childhood memory, I saw something else. Another ficlet. I am loving these!
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 265 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/23/2010 - Complete
If I was there reviews
What would happen if I was there for certain episodes? What would I do? What would I change?
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 7,972 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 8/18/2010
She learned the hard way reviews
That you don't ever touch Harvey McKenzie. Another ficlet. Based on a daydream I had most of my fanfics are .
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Harvey mK./Numbuh 363, Rachel mK./Numbuh 362 - Complete
Siblings reviews
What little siblings do in their spare time. LOL a ficlet featuring my sis Ryann. I'm just bored.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Harvey mK./Numbuh 363 - Complete
Derf reviews
I was watching the iCarly episode where she tutors Chuck, and thought, what would this be like in KND? So here it is. I do not own KND...or derf.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 641 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, DCFDTL - Complete
How we met reviews
I've written a lot of fanfics with me in them. Best friend, super operative-but-not-an-operative, insane crazy girl. But how exactly did I meet Sector V of the KND? This story tells all.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 774 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/4/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Nigel U./Numbuh 1
Tears of Confusion reviews
Mr. Boss has been tragically injured, but only a few seem to care. Fanny is devastated and depressed. Who will help her through this difficult time, and will anyone reach out a hand to help mend what has happened?
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,754 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/2/2010 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Fanny F./Numbuh 86, Mr. Boss
Dust and Memories reviews
An attic punishment turns into a pleasant surprise when a box is tipped over.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 719 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/19/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Cree L./Numbuh 11 - Complete
Told you I was hardcore reviews
She knew there was a way she could prove herself.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 76 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Rachel mK./Numbuh 362
The City of Love reviews
Songfic. 2/5 based. Based on Phineas & Ferb's City of Love.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 274 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Hoagie P. G. Jr./Numbuh 2 - Complete
Until Abby reviews
Preschoolers are dissapearing, and when they find them, Abby soon becomes torn.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,251 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/31/2010 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Abigail L./Numbuh 5, Nigel U./Numbuh 1 - Complete
Lily of Fate reviews
Lily is run over by a car and now she may not wake up I know bad summary the story is better
Hannah Montana - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 764 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Lilly T./Lola L., Hannah M./Miley S.
Zora with a friend reviews
Zora meets a girl who is just as crazy as her, maybe crazier, and they become fast friends. But this girl has a secret that even Zora could never imagine......
Sonny with a Chance - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 1,945 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 4/1/2010 - Zora L., Sonny M. - Complete
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