Author has written 5 stories for Naruto, Avatar: Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Harry Potter.
- "No, I don't trust in god. He'll have to pay up front, like everybody else"
- "When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia"
- "Christ is so cool. He's born, i get presents. He dies, i get candy"
- "I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife"
- "Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from"
- "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and i'm not so sure about the former" - Albert Einstein
- "She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon" - Groucho Marx
- "Americans will always do the right thing ...after exhausting all the alternatives" - Winston Churchill
Funny Excerpt from Vapors by ElectraSev5n:
If Sasori had gotten her all the way to the cave before the anesthetics wore off…
Aiko blinked, having a hard time readjusting to being awake. ‘There are dead people hanging from strings and a wooden scorpion in an ugly housecoat talking to a metal-faced mirage. My keen intuition tells me it’s time to go home.’
“I see.” Pein said disapprovingly, looking at the slumped form of the confused girl his agent had apparently captured for bait.
It was a shame that Sasori had opted to involve more people than he had to. The jinchuuriki of the Tailed Beasts were a necessary sacrifice for a world free of pain and sorrow, but it was not strictly necessary to harm this child. However Pein disliked the practice, he had to allow his agents free reign in order to fulfill their assigned missions.
“I anticipate that I will be ready to perform the extraction before the end of the night.”
Pein blinked. The redhead girl had suddenly disappeared from his vision. “Did your prisoner just escape?”
Sasori slowly turned his head to the definitely empty place where he’d deposited his prisoner. The ropes she’d been tied with were even gone.
“No,” he deadpanned, moving to end the connection between him and his boss. “I’m in a cave. It must be the reception.”
“You’re breaking up,” Sasori said hastily, cutting off the connection that allowed Pein to materialise.
We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
Copied from Hermionechan90's profile
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Copied from Coolio101's profile
"This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read"
- Winston Churchill
Hahukum Konn (32)
Sage Thrasher (8)