Author has written 20 stories for Sanctuary, Bones, Stargate: SG-1, Lord of the Rings, Hawaii Five-0, Inheritance Cycle, and Hogan's Heroes.
For some reason, now that I've realized this, it won't go away. It's just sitting there nagging me, like a hangnail in my brain. I'm hoping telling someone (on the site) will help with the problem.
I have fanfic-itis. What is fanfic-itis, you ask? That's when you're writing something completely different from fanfic, and when you reread it for editing and revising, the characters sound like someone else's characters. For instance, you're writing the children's Christmas program, and when you read it back, Shepherd one is Lebeau (minus the accent), Shepherd two is Newkirk (also minus the accent, although God help me, I can hear that Cockney voice even without reading it, just from the attitude), three is Carter, and four is Kinch. And some of their lines sound like they could have been lifted from the show; for example: "Well, do we want it to say we just sat around jawing when we heard the news? Let's go!" WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
I'll tell you what's wrong with this. My source material is supposed to be the Bible, not Hogan's Heroes.
Well, at least it'll be a comedy... that's right for a Merry Christmas, innit?
Hits on my stories: 67,816
Total words of fanfic: 134,300!
I believe that at some point in time, I mentioned on this site that I am the grammarian about whom your mother warned you. And some writers' (not everyone's, thank You, God!) grammar is so atrocious that I was inspired to write the following manifesto:
WORDS I WISH FANFIC WRITERS WOULD LEARN TO USE CORRECTLY:
Defiant/definite: Defiant is bold, impudent, ready to fight. I laugh defiantly in the face of danger. Hahaha! Definite is something certain or specified. There is a definite date set for his surgery. Also defiantly and definitely.
Lose/loose: Lose is the opposite of win. We're going to lose this game if we don't get our act together. Loose is (a) to set free or (b) the opposite of tight. He loosed the dogs. Her pants were loose because she lost weight. Also losing (not winning!) and loosing (letting go of!)
They're/ there/ their: They're means they are. They're going to wring my neck! If you can't put the words 'they are' in place of 'they're', you're using the wrong word. There is a place: the marker is over there. There is a pencil on the table. Their means "belonging to them". Handy test (to see if you're using the right word): can you change the word order and add an 's'? Their book was very helpful. The helpful book was theirs. Also you're and your.
His/her/hers: This is actually one of the most annoying to me, but it generally doesn't happen in fanfic written by native speakers. And if you're writing fanfic in a second language, I have no right to criticize anything, because I most certainly do NOT think I could do better. However, if you're reading this and would like to try to improve your English grammar, his shows male ownership of an item. Her shows female ownership of something and is used before a noun. For example: Her towel is black. Hers also shows female ownership, but is generally used after the noun and /or at the end of a sentence. That towel is hers.
Literally: If it's literally happening, then it's actually happening. Exactly as you're writing it. So if someone literally dies laughing, he had a coronary event while chortling his head off and the coroner will soon ship him off to funeral parlor for burial. If there is any sarcasm, exaggeration, or figurative language involved in your statement, it is not literal! Capiche?
Disoriented: The word is disoriented, NOT disorientATed! Yes, I know the related noun is disorientation, but the verb is disorient, not disorientate! And the verb related to that verb is orient-- as in, to fix in position. I don't know who's responsible for this little erroneous back-formation, but if I did, I'd be sorely tempted to wring his neck because this error just rubs me the wrong way every time I read it. Please let your lost and confused characters be disoriented. Let them carefully reorient themselves by the position of the sun, the stars, the compass, the direction of the streets-- I don't care how! Just as long as you don't add those extra 2-3 letters. Please. I'm begging.
I am officially abandoning It Takes a Little Time, Sometimes. This is not because I dislike where I was going with it, but rather because I've gotten out of touch with the characters as they were in that long-ago first season and have no way to refresh my memory (and no time to do so even if I could). Also, because of time constraints-- I really don't have time to work on anything, but am trying to make time to finish at least one of these stories just so I don't feel quite so much like a procrastinating screw-up-- I had to choose which one I was going to work on. I own several seasons of Hogan's Heroes and Stargate, so I can actually do research on those. Also, I like the plot of The Grandfather Paradox better. So, I must apologize again for not finishing It Takes a Little Time, Sometimes, because it may not ever get finished now.
Whoohoo! I have passed 250 total reviews! Happy Dance!
And more than 47,400 hits on my stories! 2,600 to the next goal!
Oh, and total words of fanfic now equals: 114,890! That's 49,086 in less than 5 months!
Put it together, and I'm getting an average of 2 hits for every 5 words I type! SWEET!
A NOTE REGARDING REVIEWS FROM ME:
It has been noticed (and remarked upon) that many of my reviews are for one-shots or short stories. This is NOT because I do not read the longer stories. I do, however, usually set the filter to "complete" because I have no patience to wait for updates. I will read your story when it is finished, or if someone recommends it to me earlier. And occasionally, I forget to set the filter (in which case you are likely to get a "please write more soon" message if I enjoy your fic. But for the most part, reviews from me generally require three things:
Just because I don't review many of the longer stories doesn't necessarily mean that I didn't read and enjoy any of them; it might just mean I finished reading the story at 2 am (in one sitting) and didn't feel like writing a review when I knew they'll start calling me for subbing at 6 am.
As of 6-18-11, I have a new favorite TV episode:
Star Trek Voyager #244: MUSE
Putting fanfic in it's proper place.
Belanna: Janeway kissing Commander Chakotay. Tom Paris kissing Seven of Nine. Harry Kim kissing the Delaney sisters. I don't see the point.
Poet: Anger is like fire. Love can be the rain that extinguishes it. My patron is filled with hatred for his rival, so our play should be filled with love.
[several discussions later, after massive plot revisions, when the play now revolves around Janeway trying to make peace with the Borg who are keeping her from rescuing Harry and Belanna]
Belanna: Much better than all that kissing.
BECAUSE I BELIEVE WITH ALL MY HEART THAT TIS BETTER TO HAVE A PLOT AND NO ROMANCE THAN TO HAVE NO PLOT AT ALL.
Update -- 5-19-11:
I apologize to all my loyal readers for the time between updates. I've now passed my 1 year anniversary of writing fanfic (in February), and I must sadly admit that in this year I've written more words of fanfic (65804 published) than I have in my novel, my poems, and my essays put together. Since I do someday want to be published, I will be trying to equalize this a bit more, which may unfortunately cut down a bit on my fanfic-writing time.
I must say, however, that the whole review process is quite gratifying. I only had my first fanfic ever posted for a day or two before someone reviewed asking for a sequel. (preens slightly) And that felt very, very good. So feel to drop me as many notes as you like.
Thanks for reading!
Quote of the day/week/whatever:
"I have standards, Will. Drinking coffee: well below them." -Helen Magnus, Sanctuary
"Let there be goblin hordes ... let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain." -Terry Pratchett
"Never underestimate your audience. They're generally sensitive, intelligent people who respond positively to quality entertainment." Cam Mitchell, Stargate SG-1
"You don't know if you're sick, but you're more than willing to take drugs, just in case. Seems to me, you could give the Man Upstairs the same benefit of the doubt that you do an invisible fungus." -Booth, Bones
" 'How hard could it be?' The phrase that launched a thousand trauma units..." -Bob the Squirrel
Favorite quote of all time:
"Someday you will read in the paper that I am dead. Don't believe it for an instant. I'll be more alive than ever before." -D.L. Moody