Author has written 13 stories for Misc. Books, Harry Potter, Vampires, Parodies and Spoofs, and Tanz der Vampire.
If You Have Ever:
If you have ever ran into the house or even a tree with your bike, post this on your profile.
If you have ever awaken your father or mother at 3 in the morning to kill a spider in your room, post this on your profile.
If you were stupid enough to remove a live mouse from a glue trap because your father told you to, post this on your profile.
If you have fallen asleep at your computer only to wake to see an untold number of pages of one lone letter on a word docment because your head was on the keyboard, post this to your profile.
If you can quote whole scenes of "Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas," post this on your profile.
If you have ever ran into a stone column head first, post this on your profile.
If you have ever ran into a sliding glass door, post this on your profile.
If you have been caught dancing to the Rocky Horror Picture Show's Time Warp or any other sort of dancing in the living room late at night when you should be in bed, post this on your profile.
If you have ever sleepwalked into a spider web, post this into your profile.
If you have ever thought you lost your glasses when you were wearing them and didn't notice, post this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed at the gruesome scenes in Sweeny Todd, post this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten your toe caught in a moving escalator and laughed, post this into your profile.
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile XD LIKE ME!
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a cow.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist/pyromaniac
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Words to Know
Emergency numbers: Police station, fire department and places that deliver.
Opera: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.
Buffet: A French word that means "get up and get it yourself."
Baby-sitter: A teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.
Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.