Lestat Lebrat
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Joined 02-13-10, id: 2253032, Profile Updated: 07-06-14
Author has written 13 stories for Misc. Books, Harry Potter, Vampires, Parodies and Spoofs, and Tanz der Vampire.

If You Have Ever:

If you have ever ran into the house or even a tree with your bike, post this on your profile.
If you have ever awaken your father or mother at 3 in the morning to kill a spider in your room, post this on your profile.
If you were stupid enough to remove a live mouse from a glue trap because your father told you to, post this on your profile.
If you have fallen asleep at your computer only to wake to see an untold number of pages of one lone letter on a word docment because your head was on the keyboard, post this to your profile.
If you can quote whole scenes of "Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas," post this on your profile.
If you have ever ran into a stone column head first, post this on your profile.
If you have ever ran into a sliding glass door, post this on your profile.
If you have been caught dancing to the Rocky Horror Picture Show's Time Warp or any other sort of dancing in the living room late at night when you should be in bed, post this on your profile.
If you have ever sleepwalked into a spider web, post this into your profile.
If you have ever thought you lost your glasses when you were wearing them and didn't notice, post this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed at the gruesome scenes in Sweeny Todd, post this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten your toe caught in a moving escalator and laughed, post this into your profile.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile XD LIKE ME!


I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a cow.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist/pyromaniac


Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.


Words to Know

Emergency numbers: Police station, fire department and places that deliver.

Opera: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

Buffet: A French word that means "get up and get it yourself."

Baby-sitter: A teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dear Order by SilverWolf7007 reviews
"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 23,268 - Reviews: 5501 - Favs: 8,224 - Follows: 8,849 - Updated: 2/25/2014 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Harry P., Luna L.
Whispers on the Wizardnet by Healer Pomfrey reviews
What if the Wizardnet had already been developed on that fateful Halloween night? Completely AU, partly OOC, probably eventually magically handicapped or sick Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,737 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 5/6/2013 - Published: 9/25/2010 - Harry P.
Rebellion by TatraMegami reviews
Harry starts up a Rebellion after Dumbledore is forced to flee Hogwarts and his two targets are Dolores Umbridge and Severus Snape. He has a foolproof plan: to drive them insane by acting insane himself. Complete and sequel, Rising, is up!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 121,979 - Reviews: 1404 - Favs: 2,161 - Follows: 1,318 - Updated: 3/1/2013 - Published: 3/1/2004 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
House of Potter by wilyoldjane reviews
In the summer before Harry´s fourth year Sirius makes his godson aware of his social status in the wizarding world.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,975 - Reviews: 1411 - Favs: 2,906 - Follows: 3,917 - Updated: 12/17/2011 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Crazy by GreenandPurpleMonkeys reviews
It was official. Sirius thought. The stress had finally gotten to his godson, he'd gone crazy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,999 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 5/25/2011 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Harry P., Ron W.
586 Things NOT To Do At Hogwarts by WanderingChild24601 reviews
As the title suggests...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,876 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 21 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Complete
Somewhere In Time: A Fanfiction by Johnnydspiratequeen reviews
Lestat -Interview With the Vampire, etc- becomes involved with time travel when Louis goes missing after a fight. He only has one chance to get things right. Loosely based on the movie Somewhere In Time -which is fantastic.-
Crossover - Misc. Books & Somewhere in Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,189 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 7/23/2009
730 Things I'm Forbidden To Do At Hogwarts by Jesse Turner-Black reviews
Click of the title to find the 730 things that no one is allowed to do at Hogwarts. And they gave us this list, not expecting us to get ideas......... Sincerly, Forge and Gred Weasley.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,126 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Complete
In Plain Sight by poysin reviews
When Dumbledore finds an abused Harry, he decides Harry needs to go into hiding. Under the guise of a Student exchange program, Harry's id is changed and he is resorted into Slytherin. Au after book 5. Beta'd by Graenr!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 84,693 - Reviews: 1955 - Favs: 1,693 - Follows: 1,912 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Harry P., Severus S.
Guardian by Logicalmagic reviews
After the Triwizard Tournament debacle, Sirius decides it's high time he started playing a more active role in his godson's life. A Sirius-takes-charge fic. AU Fifth book onwards.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 53,219 - Reviews: 1292 - Favs: 2,165 - Follows: 2,616 - Updated: 11/20/2009 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Harry P., Sirius B.
A Modern Myth by Calai'di reviews
ABANDONED: AU of OotP. Harry's Turned by one of Voldemort's vampires and now has an Allure that draws many parthumans, including Draco, a Veela, and a stillalive Cedric, an elf. Who will he choose to eventually become his Mate? HD, HC, DC, HDC
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 40,731 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 414 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 3/27/2007 - Harry P., Draco M.
21 Ways To Give Your Lover a Migraine by The Plot Bunny Whisperer reviews
Companion story to "At Least It's Not Contagious". Sev ate the last slice of chocolate cheesecake, therefore he deserved punishment. Or at least, that's the excuse Harry was going with.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,580 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
What About The Paperwork! by Janara reviews
Harry is not happy with the future Dumbledore has mapped out for him now that the war is over. Sick and tired of the manipulations, Harry rebels the only way he knows how. Sadly, Harry forgot the first rule of his life,nothing ever goes according to plan.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,852 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 356 - Published: 5/15/2008 - Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Light and Dark by Priya Ashok reviews
COMPLETE AU after fifth year.Harry sees through Dumbledore and starts his war on both the Light and the Dark forces. Please Read and Review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 220,039 - Reviews: 1725 - Favs: 2,519 - Follows: 852 - Updated: 9/7/2007 - Published: 6/14/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Freak Parade by The-Caitiff reviews
Starts as parody of the formula most independant!Harry stories follow. Overly friendly Goblins, Manipulative Dumbledore, a shopping trip, a will from Sirius etc... Then it gets weird.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,147 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 1,557 - Follows: 383 - Updated: 7/4/2006 - Published: 7/2/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Ils s'aiment by rickiss reviews
Les pensées mélancoliques d'un vieil homme, face à l'innocence et l'insouciance de la jeunesse...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - French - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,721 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/1/2006 - Albus D. - Complete
The Portrait Of The Man On The Moon by ckat44 reviews
COMPLETE! Harry's 6th year starts off rough. He is holding a secret that he can't tell anyone in fear of being shunned and cast aside by all. He is bitten by Moony but Lupin doesn't remember. Strange familiar professor, and a painter is... different
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 40 - Words: 97,657 - Reviews: 906 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 7/1/2005 - Published: 11/6/2003 - Remus L., Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Final Straw by bellerophon30 reviews
Complete. A 6th year story. Harry takes a look at his life and doesn't like what he sees, so he decides to declare his independance of Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix and fight the war on his own terms.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 317,280 - Reviews: 2075 - Favs: 3,126 - Follows: 818 - Updated: 6/25/2005 - Published: 12/4/2004 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter Death of the child by shahenshah2410 reviews
The order and Dumbledore are not letting up on Harry, one gift from his godfather allows him to become the ultimate Slytherin - with a Gryffindor heart. what to do when you have been living a lie - those who you love hold you in contempt?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,451 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 519 - Follows: 500 - Updated: 1/6/2005 - Published: 12/12/2004 - Harry P., Alastor M.
Endless Possibilities by Dragon Mistress reviews
COMPLETE! When Sirius fell through the Veil, he didn't die, but was sent into another dimension similar to his own. What happens to him? And will he ever get back to reality?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 31,151 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/21/2004 - Published: 10/2/2003 - Sirius B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ways to Annoy the Harry Potter People reviews
The title says it all.I am writing a story about how to annoy certain characters from HP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,340 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/27/2012 - Published: 4/28/2011
The Leather Pants Travesty reviews
If you've seen Tanz der Vampire in Hamburg you'll have seen the leather breeches that Herbert wears in the finale. A friend of mine asked me how I thought he got out of them afterwards because they were inhumanly tight. We got a bit hyped and went nuts writing, this story is more of a travesty than those pants!
Tanz der Vampire - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 842 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Herbert - Complete
The Memoirs of Alexandra Black
Alexandra Black, orphan...13.....looking for light in the dark as her father hides from dementors. She keeps him close to her heart. The laments of a teenaged girl.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,813 - Updated: 6/9/2011 - Published: 3/5/2010
Les Innocents reviews
Harry has been betrayed by his 'friends' and before he can plan anything against them, he is whisked away to hell itself. Snape is his guardian...Wholey cows, bet you didn't see that coming! He and Les Innocents struggle to keep safe from doom.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,718 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Harry P., OC
A Sirius Switch reviews
Sirius is starting third year, Regulus is starting first. What mischeif will the Marauder era kids get up to when there is a Sirius switch. The pun was intentional. UP FOR ADOPTION!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,355 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 2/23/2010 - Sirius B., Regulus B.
Louis 243rd Birthday reviews
Because I will be a year older this month I feel it is only right that my alter-ego should be a year older too.
Vampires - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,961 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Complete
REWRITE of Les Innocents
I hacve been rewriting Les Innocents because the other version seemed dull. There's more emotion in this version.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Vampires - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,825 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/28/2010
Random Funny Business reviews
Really bored with a whole load of writers block. enjoy it gets funnier.
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: M - English - Parody/Spiritual - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,552 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/10/2010
Anniversaire de Louis le 243rd
Puisque je serai une année plus âgé ce mois je jugent qu'il est seulement exact que mon changer-moi devrait être une année plus âgé aussi.
Vampires - Rated: K - French - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,186 - Published: 5/25/2010
Vampire Sleepover! reviews
Louis, Nicolas, Daniel, Felix, Celeste, and Eleni have a sleep over at the Rue Royal. Watch, as humour like you have never seen before comes out.
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,074 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 2/23/2010
David's First Vampire Christmas A Speculative Fic reviews
A random cumpulsion lead me to make a short pointless skit. I'll fix it if it gets over 250 hits between now and the end of next month. David's having his first Vampire Xmas and strange things keep happening.
Vampires - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 821 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Complete
Breaking Dawn
Dawn is a new turned vampire, trouble in the wizard world might kill her and her family. Watch as she meets Harry Potter, and saves the world.
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,481 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 2/22/2010
A random funny reviews
A HP YGo Xover written for a friend when I tried to lure her into drinking coffee which she hates, useing her fav Movies and Shows. Needless to say it didn't work.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - Spanish - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 731 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Complete
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