blood wolfe 92
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Joined 02-16-10, id: 2257540, Profile Updated: 02-12-11
Author has written 5 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

is it just me or is this real creepy ( i finnaly figured out how to put stuff on my profile YA!!)


Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.


10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen:

10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.

9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.

8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun.

7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.

6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.

5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.

4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?

3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.

2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale:

10. Beg him not to eat you.

9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.

8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.

7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain.

6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.

5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.

4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.

3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.

2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.

And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?

1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.

10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen:

10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.

9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.

8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.

7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.

6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.

5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.

4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.

3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.

2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles

And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?

1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"

10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen:

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."

9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling

3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.

10 ways to annoy Bella Swan:

10. Ask about Eric.

9. Ask about Mike.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?

1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.

10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale:

10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.

9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.

8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.

6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.

4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.

3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.

2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.

And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?

1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.

10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen:

10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.

9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.

8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?

7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”

6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.

5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.

4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.

3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.

2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.

And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?

1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.

10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black:

10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.

9. Call him a space heater.

8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.

7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.

6. Inform him that real men sparkle.

5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.

4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.

3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.

2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.

And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?

1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.


Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley who
had a
boyfriend
named
Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school.
The
three most
popular
girls were
Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack
thought of
Ashley as
OKAY,
but
he REALLy
liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also.
Well of
course
she
did, everyone
did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to
steal
Jack away
everytime she had a chance to. One day,
Courtney asked
Jack
if
he wanted
to
go to the movies. Ashley heard
everything...what
movie
theatre
and what
time.

Ashley approached the movies that night
and
followed Jack
and
Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them. she
watched them
get close
to
each
other and
kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
theatre.
Courtney
told jack "Do you want to come to my
place and
skip this
boring
movie?" He
replied "hell yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
window.
Jack and
her
were

messing
around and Ashley watched the whole
thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't
there. For
the next
few
days Ashley
wasn't there. A week later her mother
found her in
her
closet
dead... she
commited suicide because she had loved
Jack so
much.
Next
to
ashley's dead
body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Courtney's house and I will continue to
watch you.
I never
thought you
would
do something like this to me. I really
loved you
jack. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley

Please foward this or Ashley will
haunt
you and try
to kill you because she wants everyone to
know
about
Courtney.


89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide a hickey...not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been received.
Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted.


Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT’S HER!


May need a tissue

girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road,

the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know.

Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him.

Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.


The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because you're freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not re-post this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Re-post or you are going to die

CUTE AND FUNNY QUOTES

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your

dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. (hell yea!)

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

"It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"

You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

He who laughs last didn't get it

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter

"I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother"


AWW!!

she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
she said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi & said ‘drink up’
she said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.
she said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors & had her cut it up.
she said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her earz pierced.
she said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.
she said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a nametag that sad "my name is: ALONE."
she said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always; he asked her when he wasn't


things a boyfriend can do to keep ur heart!

• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in

• leave her cute text notes

• kiss her in front of your friends

• look into her eyes when you talk to her

• tell her she is gorgeous

• let her mess with your hair

• just walk around with her.

• "FORGiVE HER FOR HER MiSTAKES"

• look at her like shes the only one you see

• tickle her even when she says stop

• hold her hand when youre around your friends

• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her

• let her fall asleep in your arms

• tease her and let her tease you back

• let her fall asleep in your arms..

• stay up all night with her when shes sick

• watch her favorite movie with her

• give her the world

• write her letters

kiss her in the pouring raina girl

kiss her forehead ... at lest thats what they should do


Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right into her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arm

If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed


█ 10 suicidal
██ 20 cannibal
███ 30 vampire
████ 40 no mercy
█████ 50 no care
██████ 60 immortal
███████ 70 smexy
████████ 80 emo
█████████ 90 gothic
██████████ 100 pure evil
Thats 760 of pure awesomeness


We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.- that happens alot.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silent is golden but duck tape is silver

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washer machines.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Sunglasses are in the two splash category. The first splash is the sunglasses falling into the water. The second splash is you jumping in after them.

Is he gay or European?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile

If you've ever fallen out of a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil. Copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't cool to breath any more. Put this in your profile if you’re one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a wall, copy and paste this in your profile( This always happens to me!)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people how get exited when you see just two reviews, copy this in your profile.

If you truely belive, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you ( Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen) copy and paste in your pro.

95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy and paste.

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste.

If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste in your profile.

If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and is hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE!

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

REMEMBER WHEN...
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

I find "good morning" contradictory

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

I think I could be madly in like with you

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

opps! I appear to have fallen on your lips!

Guys should be like lattes: rich, strong, and hot!

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to)

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

"Whenever a choice is made based on the excuse "life’s too short", it’s certain that life will be just long enough to punish you for it."

-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies (except his favorite movie is Mean Girls) with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. (he refused to go to Pelham 123) It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-

It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them

- "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you." –

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If kisses were raindrops,
I'd send you showers.
If hugs were minutes, I'd send you hours.
If smiles were an waves,
I'd send you the sea.
And if love was a person,
I'd send u ME !!

Unlike Barbie,

Me & my friends

~aren't sold seperatly~

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have written a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid locker!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you once choked on food, spit it out, and then it landed in your friends food and/or on their face copy and paste this on your profile.

If you knew that 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything 50 percent of the time, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

If you've read Twilight over 4 times, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you're nocturnal copy and paste this in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile.

Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.

If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile.

If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.


95 of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5 that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!"

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Join the dark side. We have cookies!

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I ran with scissors - and lived!

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say physco like it's a bad thing…

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

Cute but psycho - things even out.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I am not weird... just plotting

I don't obsess!I think intensely!

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night!)

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile

People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Love is like water, it flows natural, sometimes it's calm, and sometimes it's rough, you just need to let it happen and let yourself go with it.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

The best proof of love is trust.

Nothing in this world is worth having if it comes too easy.

A friend is a person who dances with you in the sunshine and walks with you in the shade.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love rain, the wind, and the cold copy and paste this in to your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.

Crazy is a relative term in my family.


Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyway

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could not care less

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"


█ 10 percent Freak
██ 20 percent Smart
███ 30 percent Stupid
████ 40 percent Weird
█████ 50 percent Evil
██████ 60 percent Nice
███████ 70 percent Caring
████████ 80 percent Crazy
█████████ 90 percent Random
██████████ 100 percent Me


Try not to cry...

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...


FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!... we fucked up... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be WEAK.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I live in the COUNTRY, so I MUST live on a farm.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. ( can you be a vegetarian if you don’t eat vegatables?)

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm a FEMALE, so I MUST not SWEAR.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.(To all the girls out there: Let's face it, sometimes the guys don't exactly make it easy to not hate them.)
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney or posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. ( this is actually true *shrugs*)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I wear BLACK nail polish, so I MUST be EMO, GOTH, or PUNK.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I am an HONOR STUDENT, so I MUST be a NERD
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I am a BRUNETTE, so I MUST think all blondes are STUPID ( My mother is blonde and the smartest person I know)
I have RED HAIR, so I MUST have GREEN eyes and FRECKLES
I have BLACK HAIR, so I MUST not be WHITE
I am BLACK, so I MUST want you to try and avoid saying that WORD in my presence.
I believe in COMPLIMENTING people, so I MUST be a KISS-ASS
I EAT slowly, so I MUST believe that fast eaters are killing their DIGESTIVE SYSTEMS
I've read TWILIGHT, so I MUST be a crazily obsessed FANGIRL
I can eat FIVE SLICES of pizza in one sitting, so I MUST be FAT
I like SLEEPING IN, so I MUST be a lazy TEENAGER
I don't like POP, so I MUST not be NORMAL
I am careful about my NUT ALLERGY, so I MUST think all candy has NUTS in it.
I have ASTHMA, so I MUST not play sports
I am a girl and play SOCCER/FOOTBALL/HOCKEY, so I MUST be trying to get guys ATTENTION
I don't like ROLLERCOASTERS, so I MUST be OLD, WIMPY, or STUPID
I like SHOPPING, so I MUST be a GIGGLING GIRLY-GIRL
I am HONEST, so I MUST be MEAN
I am a MENNONITE, so I MUST never have heard of a TELEVISION
I don't have FACEBOOK, so I MUST have no LIFE
I say I like STAYCATIONS, so I MUST be trying to save GAS
I do WELL in school, so I MUST LOVE it.
I have clothes from WALMART, so I MUST not care about CHILD LABOUR
I don't like SILENCE, so I MUST fill every one with CHATTER
I like SINGING, so I MUST belong to a CHOIR(Fine, so it's true. Deal with it)
I don't like DANCING, so I MUST be ANTISOCIAL
I am an INUIT, so I MUST live in an IGLOO
I am CANADIAN, so I MUST say 'EH'
I listen to my IPOD, so I MUST not care about the people AROUND me
I am part of the POLICE FORCE, so I MUST break all SPEED LIMITS
I am FRENCH, so I MUST have a little MOUSTACHE and a BERET (I’m a girl douchewad!)
I am INDIAN, so I MUST speak English with an incomprehensible ACCENT
I can’t just EXERCISE without a purpose, so I MUST have no MOTIVATION
I am a man with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a HIPPY
I am a woman with SHORT HAIR, so I MUST be a CAREER WOMAN
I am a GIRL, so I MUST not like MATH(I don't really like math that much but I don't hate it any more. It seems we have finally reached a mutual understanding.)
I am a BOY, so I MUST like GYM
I have ACNE problems, so I must not care about my personal HYGENE
I own an SUV, so I MUST not care about the ENVIRONMENT
I write POETRY, so I MUST be CRAZY

You know you're a writer...

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you worship English 101.

Copy and Paste this if you're a writer.


Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"


Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

Girl runs away in shock and pain and Boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.


I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself beter with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,Derangedpixie, Back Away Slowly Then Run, WhiteWolfLegend, authorinprogress97, blood wolfe 92


Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark


A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned, and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed a man standing at the end as though he
were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and security wrapped round her, she felt as
though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she walked right past the man and arrived
home safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same
alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the fact that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help this young woman, she decided to go to the
police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the man she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified, he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and asked if there was anything they could do
for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers will not stand up for God?

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?


My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!


The Uncurable Disease

Hi, my name is Kazu.

I like Writing and I like Athletics.

I am running down the road

I suddenly tripped over.

I come home with a scatch on my knee.

My mummy begins to worry.

I tell her I am fine.

She sighs and says ok.

I am at school.

When suddenly I fall and hit a tree.

I am sent to the sickbay.

Then I am sent home.

Mummy takes me to the doctors.

The doctors tell mummy something.

Mummy starts to cry.

I tell her it's ok.

I'm not going to die.

She tells me I am starting.

Starting to be slower.

I don't know what it means.

But I have become sick.

I tell mummy it's ok.

I will become better.

Mummy starts to cry.

Do I have cancer?

Mummy says no.

Then what do I suppose.

As a year had past.

I struggle to walk.

My speech is getting slower.

It's hard for me to talk.

My friends like to help me.

My classmates like to run.

But I have to sit down.

And watch them have fun.

Then one day my teacher.

Comes to see mummy.

Daddy comes out.

And starts to get all snotty.

The teacher tells my parents.

I can no longer go to school.

My motion is too slow.

I ask the teacher slowly.

I am sorry I am useless.

I start to cry and beg her.

I want to go to school.

The teacher gives a smile.

And tells me she is sorry.

The school cant really help me.

The words were so cruel.

The day I had to leave.

My friends and classmates cried.

The boys upon the windows.

Wave to me goodbye.

I smile and sit in the car.

I am taken to a school.

A school with special people.

Just like me and you.

I start to have some fun.

I made a lot of friends.

As many years passed again.

I talk too slow to understand.

I cannot run anymore.

And I struggle to even stand.

I cannot write in my diary.

My motion is too slow.

Then one day I am sent.

To the hospital again.

Now many years have passed.

I lie in a warm bed.

I cannot move my body.

I cannot move again.

I talk very slowly.

I cannot move my head.

My mummy sits there crying.

My daddy looks depressed.

I ask my mummy sadly.

Am I going to die.

My mother holds my hand.

Yells and starts to cry.

A few more years later.

I have to shut my eyes.

I cannot talk or move.

I seem to have died.

Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.

"A guy gave his girl 12 roses, 11 real, one fake. There was note, and it said, "When the last rose dies, that's when I'll stop loving you."-Unknown

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

Don't be so humble - you're not that great.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot.

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it.

Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.


If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine


I went to a party Mom…..

I went to a party,

And remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom,

So I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would.

that I didn't drink and drive,

though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,

And your advice to me was right.

The party finally ended,

and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,

Sure to get home in one piece.

I never knew what was coming, Mom,

something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,

the kid that caused this wreck ws drunk,

Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.

I can hear the paramedic say,

this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high.

Because he chose to drink and drive,

now I have to die.

So why do people do it Mom

Knowing it ruins lives?

And now the pain is cutting me,

like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom

Tell daddy to be brave.

And when i go to heaven,

Put "Mommy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,

That it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,

Mom I'm getting really scared

These are my final moments,

and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,

As I lie here and die.

I wish that I could say, "I Love you, Mom!"

So I love you adn good-bye

MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers)

If you believe you have a choice to live or die, than don’t drink and drive! You might just ruin someone else’s life including family and friends or you ruined your own Life! Don’t Drink and Drive!!

Copy and paste to your profile if you believe it.


THE 1990's

If you're under the age of 11 or 12...you shouldn't even read this,
and if you do, you should not repost this.

Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.

It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons.

You're a 90's kid if:

You remember watching:
-Keenan and Kel.
-Doug.
-the amanda show.
-all that.
-Rockos modern Life.

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember:
-fresh prince of bellair
-full house.
-cheers.
-Boy Meets World

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You remember reading "Goosebumps

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

When everything was settled by:
-rock paper scissors or
-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
-ms. mary mack
-doggy doggy diamond step right out!

When kick ball was a daily activity.

When we used to obey our parents

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You remember The Original Game Boy.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching:
-The Magic School Bus
-Wishbone
-Reading Rainbow
-and Ghostwriter on PBS

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum.

You remember watching:
-the 1st Batman
-Aladdin
-Ninja Turtles
-ghost busters

You remember Ring Pops.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

One word. . . . . . . .trolls.

Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of
-Rugrats
-Wild Thornberry's
-Power Rangers
-Rocket Power.
-Invader Zim

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears

Lambchop's song never ended.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

Everyone watched the WB.

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 . . .
Before Spongebob . . .

When gas was 0.95 a gallon.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
You had slap bracelets!
You Actually played outside until it was dark!

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear...

It is sad because this is true.

Before Tupac was shot.
When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

It's so sad 'cause I never see or do ANY of this anymore!!


What are your 10 favorite Twilight characters (in order)?

1)Jasper

2)Paul

3)Bella

4)Emmett

5)Sam

6)Peter

7)Jane

8)Carlisle

9)Seth

10)Felix

Have you ever read a 5/3 fanfic? Sam & Bella. I love this pairing!!

What about an 8/4? Carlisle & Emmett EWW!!!

7/5? Sam & Jane... now I might :P

What if 5 walked in on 1 and 10? Sam walking in on Jasper & Felix would be HILARIOUS!!!!

Would you make out with 1? Hale yes

Has 6 ever walked in on 7 and 9? Peter walking in on Jane & Seth. Strangest mental image ever.

What if you walked in on 2, 10, and 4? Walking in on Paul Emmett & Felix would be the greatest day of my life!!! ;)

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Dumb scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? (Ima Girl Though?)
2. People who are willing to get off their chair to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually are so damn lazy.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here??


To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours
just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared
through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy
even if you are not with her.

...This one bulletin is for you...

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...
i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image
If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed "
If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."


PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

I am the enthusiastic friend that comes to a party of a friend's and wonders what her friend would do if she kissed her.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it


If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,

the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,

but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!


Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!


1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender.
2. Which is the best: red, black, green, blue, or yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which is cooler, black or white?
6. Name a person of your same gender.
7. What's your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Which is prettier, lakes of oceans?
10. What is your wish?

Right down the answers to these and then look at the answers.

Done with that?

Here are the answers:

1. You are in love with this person.
2. If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Blue: You are spontaneous and enjoy kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Green: Your soul is laid back and you are reserved.
Yellow: You are a happy person and give good advice for those who are down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have lots of love and friendship in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life will soon blossom.
S-Z: You are a good friend and your future love life look very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: This year will go well for you and very soon you will fall in love with someone you would have least expected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a good year and experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but you will eventually find your soulmate.
5. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will like the change.
White: You will have a friend who completley confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.
8. If you chose:
California: You love adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
9. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. You are reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will become true before your next birthday!!


"They hurt her"

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.


If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You love, I love. You jump off a cliff, I go get a cookie

You're just jealouse because the voices are talking to me

My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Love comes in many colors

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Boys are like trees, the take 50 years to grow up

Hold on to the people you love forever, but know when to let them go.

Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to you is to have nothing to do with it.

Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!

Love your enemys! It really pissess them off!

A postitve attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!

I'm not insensitive, I just dont care


You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it.

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.(Example:" ' We heard you were having Bella for lunch and we came to see if you would share. ' ") (Not Twilight. I have the tendency to quote Harry Potter)

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.

You've got a book memorized.

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (I’ve done that multiple times. The last three Harry Potter books…finished those in a day each.)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.

You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human.

You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf.

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

If you wish you could go to a vampire academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile.

If you cried like a baby through the last chapters of Shadow Kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile.

If you cried though out Blood Promise when Rose thinks back to the old Dimitri, copy and past this to your profile.

If you want to cuss Spirit Bound out cause of the ending cope and past this to your profile.

If you are so angry at the freaking Strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the hell of it then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile!!

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your... well you know what comes next.

If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes from thinking about Vampire Academy, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.


Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."
"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and she got away.
I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.
Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.
Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in heck would you keep looking for it if you already found it.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
The problem with political jokes is that very often they get elected.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"


Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree but you've done this, too, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you kinda think mosquitoes are a little bit cooler now because they suck blood (which makes them kinda like a vampire) copy this into your profile
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the darn Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile!
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
"
I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.
If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FREAKING' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Dude drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'it's because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this thing!


Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say something intelligent.

4. Taxes disappear.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reaction of the teen population if Abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing

Boredm Busters

1. Try not to think about penguins.

2. Make prank calls

3. Look up a really hot celb on the web and drool over them

4.Try to find something for your BFF's next birthday.

5. Atempt knitting.

6. Write a list of boredm busters.

7. Listen to Bugy Malone's "My name is Talluah"

8. Look up Norman Bates

9. Email gradma

10. Update your blog.

11. Think how Dimka probably will be saved in Spirit Bound and feel happy.

12. Eat 6 spoons of suger and get hyper... you will find something to do... trust me.

13. Think of something funny your BFF said the otehr day.

14. Think about how cringy the fashion sense was in 1960

15. Drool over Ben Barnes.

16. Get Prince Caspian from your video store and spend 2:27:22 hours drooling over Ben Barnes.

17. Think about that guy in your math class who makes it hard to breathe right.

18. Try to imatate the bitch in your english class.

19. Try to immate Talluah

20. Write your aduiobigriphay about yourself

21. Write an emaressing bio about your BFF

22. Compare you and your BFF to Lissa and Rose.

23. Read the lust charm sence in Vampire Academy.

24. Stare at someone in your house.

25. Stare at your cat.

26. Change clothes.

27. Take a shower.

28. Wonder if I was trying to tell you something in the "Take a shower" idea.

29. Give your pet an interesting new haircut

30. Drop your cat from a high window, see if they land on all fours.

31. Let your dog chase after a car

32. Let him catch it


Emmett's the strongest.
Rosalie's the hottest.
Edward's the fastest.
Bella's the clumsiest
Alice's the quirkiest.

But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous!

Repost this if you think Jasper is HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed

Don't mess with me I've got a stick

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

3 Slytherin Marauders by severusphoenix reviews
Harry & Dudley flee an abusive Vernon to Severus Snape. Severus finds a new home for himself & the boys with dragons and hunt the Horcruxes from there. The dragons, especially one become their allies. Tom R is VERY different.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 141 - Words: 569,857 - Reviews: 5539 - Favs: 2,752 - Follows: 3,107 - Updated: 3/22 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Harry P., Severus S.
Unheard Love by bleeding scarlet blood reviews
Bella just moved to town. She meets Jasper, who she had a confusing start with. Jasper is a beautiful deaf boy, who doesn't have very many friends becasue of his handicap. well, Bella is about to change that. R&R being revised
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 39,036 - Reviews: 676 - Favs: 509 - Follows: 642 - Updated: 3/2 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Coming Home to a new love by EsmeCullen2398 reviews
When Edward left Bella he didn’t know something….she is a witch! She is Harry’s twin sister, and when she gets back to them there is one person in particular she takes comfort in. Please Comment this is my first story. Rated M Just in case.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,331 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 9/19/2014 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Fred W., Bella
Pain Within My Heart by LolJasperLol reviews
After the Cullen's left Bella was heartbroken. But what the Cullens didn't know is that Bella was really over 200 yrs old and was Maria's and Ephriam's daughter... What will the Cullen's and Whitlocks do when they discover Bella is more dangerous than Jaz
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 10,109 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 1/6/2014 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Ill Fated by Hijacked Headphones reviews
Zuko and Iroh have settled themselves comfortably in Ba Sing Se, with their tea shop going well, all seems good until Zuko falls ill. Iroh, not wanting to ruin their cover, finds Katara and asks her to save his nephew, changing fate forever
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 43,760 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 11/6/2013 - Published: 4/16/2010 - Katara, Zuko, Aang, Sokka - Complete
The Silver Trio by ThereIsSuchAThingAsLove. x reviews
Rose and Albus are just as famous as their parents. Scorpius is just as famous – but for the wrong reasons. So when the three are finally eleven and beginning Hogwarts, they're bound to be enemies, right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,926 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 8/26/2013 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Scorpius M., Rose W.
Not Expected by TaylorLaunterIsMyBoyfriend97 reviews
Five girls ran away, because something horrible happened to them. One year later they're back with a surprise of a lifetime.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 17,045 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 8/1/2013 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Paul, Bella
This is Your Last Chance by JazzyKat reviews
Harry is finally tired of Dumbledore and Fudge's meddling and decides to do something about it. Warning: Dumbledore and Fudge Bashing. Also will be slash! Blaise/Harry!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 24,755 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 418 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 6/12/2013 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
Harry Potter or Harry Lestrange? by WinchesterGrl09 reviews
Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange were with Voldemort when he attacked the Potter's. In a split second descion, they take Harry with them and aren't seen for 15 years. When he does return he turns everything upside down. GreyHarry.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 49,763 - Reviews: 563 - Favs: 1,077 - Follows: 1,349 - Updated: 12/24/2012 - Published: 12/1/2007 - Harry P., Bellatrix L.
harry finds out the truth by Shortie241292 reviews
Harry is betrayed by the people he calls friends and only a few people are willing to help him. Independant harry! Inheritances!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,420 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 360 - Updated: 11/21/2012 - Published: 11/26/2009 - Harry P., Bill W.
Shipwrecked by Animegirl1331 reviews
AU New Moon Ending. The Cullen's are in Italy by the time the Volturi let Bella, Alice, and Edward leave. They take a cruise instead of a plane. A vampire and a human are stuck together when their cruise ship sinks. Guess who.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 29,905 - Reviews: 753 - Favs: 529 - Follows: 588 - Updated: 11/19/2012 - Published: 2/24/2010 - Bella, Jasper
She's A Keeper by colourful-sand-dollar reviews
From that first fateful moment on the Platform, Rose, Albus and Scorpius have been inseperable. All they want to do is get through their years at Hogwarts unscathed. But is that even possible at such a school?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 104,586 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 8/26/2012 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M.
Dawn Zutara by Bookwormchick7 reviews
Zuko is hunting the GAang again but for a different reason. He wants his scar healed and Katara is his only hope. Can he convince her to help him? Especially after Katara's betrayal in Ba Sing Se.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 36,694 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/7/2012 - Published: 3/24/2010 - Katara, Zuko
My long lost twin by Jagger13 reviews
What if Rosalie had a twin sister? "Mom, dad, I want you to meet my twin sister Isabella." please read and review. Ed/A, Bella/Jazz, Em/Rose, Peter/Char, Car/Esme, plus new characters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,648 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 7/5/2012 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Twilight Saga:The Ulitimate Love Lust and Betrayal by MzBellezza reviews
When a party goes wrong and two lovers must part in the woods what will happen when Edward truly shows his colors will she be made a meal or saved by a unsuspectable saviour as Edward Cullen does the Unthinkable?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,239 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 6/21/2012 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Bella, Jasper
The Return of the Light by katiephilomena reviews
Scorpius, Albus and Rose are kidnaped as children their parents look for them but when over ten years past they give up hope. A version of the triwizard tournament is hosted at hogwarts. A london magic school is there and 3 students look very familiar.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,202 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 5/1/2012 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M.
The Dragon Child by Adaeze Mermaid reviews
HARRY WAS NOT RAISED BY THE DURSLEY'S HE WAS RAISED BY DRAGONS AND CHARLIE WEASLEY AS HIS SON DARIAN. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE GOES TO HOGWARTS? HOW WILL THE MAGICAL WORLD REACT TO THIS VERY INDEPENDENT AND SLYTHERIN HARRY POTTER? HARRY'S NAME WILL BE DARIAN
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,287 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 523 - Updated: 3/25/2012 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Harry P., Charlie W.
Four Years Later by Cutiepie83 reviews
Zuko and Katara four years after the war. Based off of Windy-Asylum's Coherency. Starts with the night before Zuko and Katara's wedding! Lots of good Zutara!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,167 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 3/4/2010 - Katara, Zuko
But I'm a Weasley! by Anisky reviews
Rose Weasley didn't mean to be different. She didn't intend to stand out in her family. She didn't expect to be Sorted... into Slytherin. Eventual Rose/Scorpius
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 44,574 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 2/26/2012 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M.
Revealed by xiiaogurlz reviews
Things have changed for the boy-who-lived and hidden truths will come to light. What is Dumbledore’s true intention? What is Harry’s true parentage and destiny? Will he accept the truth? DarkHarry DMHP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 18,772 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 12/6/2011 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Draco M., Harry P.
Finding Safety by JasonMorganfan87 reviews
Takes place at the end of Third Year. Harry and Draco runaway together to get away from their abusive families. Will a certain potions Master be able to find them and gain their trust?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,512 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 642 - Updated: 12/3/2011 - Published: 6/1/2010 - Harry P., Draco M.
It is possible by SexySiri reviews
Harry is raped by his uncle and so Sirius, Remus and Severus take him into their home and nurse him back to health, emotionally and physically. Contains rape, mentions of self harm, sex & domestic abuse. SB/RL, past RL/JP, NT/OC and eventual HP/SS.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 33,735 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 330 - Updated: 11/15/2011 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Harry P., Severus S.
Different Destiny by xiiaogurlz reviews
What if things were different for the boy-who-lived? What if James and Lily were not his parents? What if Harry had a different destiny? DarkHarry HPDM ManipulativeDumbledore
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,991 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 11/10/2011 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Deaged to three: Harry and Draco by Main Source of Annoyance reviews
Harry and Dracos rivelry have damaged the future. Fate, and a mysterious voice from the forest, have decided to de-age Harry and Draco to the age of three to try to help. Now Hogwarts has to raise two young boys, both damaged by their past. R&R please!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 11,095 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Freedom's Rise by Michelle Amethyst reviews
Nominated for the "Everything's Bigger in Texas Awards". Bella's very special and draws the attention of Maria in 1927. She meets Jasper and Peter and swears revenge on Maria for taking everything from her.But revenge is a delicate thing to achieve.AU JXB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 63,842 - Reviews: 608 - Favs: 711 - Follows: 740 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Bella, Jasper
I Promise You by alwaysZutarian reviews
Years after the war, Zuko and Katara are living a blissful married life, but trouble soon threatens their world. Before Zuko sailed away to stop a rebellion, he promised Katara to return to her. But on his way home, Zuko encounters many painful obstacles. Royal Court begins to force Katara to remarry, but she knows Zuko's still alive. Can Zuko arrive in time to take back his wife?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 136,912 - Reviews: 637 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 7/9/2011 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
New York, New York by Twilight-Lily reviews
Set after Eclipse, five years into the future after Jacobs run away. Bella, consumed with guilt over her actions spent those years in school studying, adventuring and growing. Who'd have thought taking a job in New York would pair her with the her past.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,547 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 6/4/2011 - Published: 7/4/2010 - Bella, Jacob
Risen Anew by Pandora181900 reviews
On Bella Swan's first day at Forks High, she trips over the door step. The smell of her blood is too much for Edward Cullen, and he snaps. Suddenly, she is thrust into a world she didn't even know existed. Jasper/Bella
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 52,462 - Reviews: 616 - Favs: 825 - Follows: 545 - Updated: 5/27/2011 - Published: 10/3/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
My Blue, Human, Eyes by DeadAccount80 reviews
There was blood and i felt woozy, smelling salt and rust. My body shuddered, a sweat beaking out, tears running down my face. I, Jasper Whilock, was human and standing outside the house of the girl who ruined my life. Jasper/Bella, Set during New Moon, AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 34,596 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 5/26/2011 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Jasper, Bella
My Stolen Child by Ambereyedwolfchild reviews
Lily and James' child dies, only hours after being born. When James goes to collect the boy he switches it for a different child. This child had a twin. Sixteen years later the twins learn the truth. Can the twins come together against the world. AU Will not be continued.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,898 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 5/4/2011 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Harry P., Draco M.
Sweet Innocence: Bella and Emmett by Mrs.AlaenaMcCarty reviews
Stranded in the middle of nowhere, Bella decides to hitch hike. Emmett on his way home to L.A. finds Bella and decides to give her a ride. What will happen? AH/OOC M for future lemons. Canon/Non-Canon couples.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 43,697 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 4/26/2011 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Long Lost Husband by Horlo246 reviews
Jasper left for the war and never came back. Soon after the news was delivered, Bella was changed. What happens when they meet again 146 years later? And who is this Ryan guy? T for safety.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,180 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
What Should Have Been by twilightheaded23 reviews
I knew I couldn't have her. But she should have been mine from the beginning... Jasper/Bella one-shot. Rated M for lang/anst/citrus goodness. 2nd place winner in the Obsession One-Shot Contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,795 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 3/18/2011 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Why Me? by DaDemonLovesMalfoy reviews
Draco has fallen in love with the infamous Harry Potter, who recently killed Voldy in his home, and is bringing Dudley, a Squib, to Hogwarts. Draco finds out that Snape is his real father, and Lucius is his uncle. Sirius is back from the dead! HP/DM R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 47,813 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Draco M., Harry P.
He Strums My Heart by Mistress-Zutara reviews
Modern times. Katara and Zuko. Sokka has a band and Zuko is his lead singer/guitarist. Katara falls for him but will it last?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,362 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/25/2011 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Katara, Zuko
Save Me by Froggy-san reviews
You know the drill... Katara gets captured. But by who? This story has a twist on the "over-used plot". Hope you like it!DISCLAIMER: I only own the plot line. The characters and the setting are NOT mine. CHAPTER 12 IS UP! Need help! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,175 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/17/2011 - Published: 10/21/2008 - Katara, Zuko
Good Enough by AkashaAvani reviews
New Moon as it could have been. What if Bella and Charlie had moved away from all of the haunting memories in Forks? And if they'd moved to La Push? What would happen to Bella and Jake if she really WAS his imprint? Completely JxB! :
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 86,851 - Reviews: 850 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 556 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Bella, Jacob
DoctorPatient Love Story by emosniperwolf reviews
Bella was in a car accident. she only knows that charlie is her father because she has amnesia. carlisle is her doctor they fall in love. pairings, c/b, r/j, em/a, es/ed
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,339 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 12/17/2010 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Carlisle, Bella - Complete
Lost and found love and family by merdarkandtwisty reviews
after Bella lost her brother Jasper in the civil war in 1861 She moved north Were she met her Husband Edward She lost him to the war in 1863 after the loss of her brother and husband she is changed. She moves to Forks in 2006 what will she find there r/r
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,736 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 12/1/2010 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Broken Soldier by FireWolf in Shadows reviews
Bella has been abused by Charlie, betrayed by her best friend Edward, and abandoned by her mother. Edward reilizes his mistake at graduation but Bella leaves for the Airforce, will they meet again, and will she forgive him? Warrior Bella! Rating may go up
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,015 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 12/1/2010 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Bella, Jasper
The Flock and It's New Member by crazyperson17 reviews
The Flock are brought back to the School. They escape, but Max saves a girl who had wings sown onto her back. What happens when the new girl starts to like Fang? How will Max react? A certain blind guys like the new girl. Will the Flock be ripped apart?
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,037 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 11/30/2010 - Published: 12/10/2009 - Iggy, Bella
Harry Potter and the Fury Of The Blacks by tigra18 reviews
Post OOTP. What if Harry wasn't who he thought he was? What if he found out something that even Dumbledore didn't know? This story is AU and completely disregards HBP.It moves a bit slow in the begining but it will eventually comes together.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 41,993 - Reviews: 892 - Favs: 798 - Follows: 1,138 - Updated: 10/20/2010 - Published: 9/6/2005 - Harry P., Bellatrix L.
The Enemy of My Father by Mihra-Attar reviews
Hagrid didn't get a chance to tell Harry that Slytherin was the ebiil House. Dark!Harry Fem!Blaise. ABANDONED
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 31 - Words: 66,603 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 444 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
Phase of The Moon by cageamy reviews
Bella jumped off the cliff and answered the phone call from Edward instead of Jacob and realized that maybe she could move on with the help of her 'personal sun'. Jacob & Bella imprint story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 69 - Words: 118,814 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 364 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Bella, Jacob
Blue Eyed Vampire by krazykat144 reviews
Bella went to find the meadow, but instead of making it there Laurent found her driving and decided to attack. The wolves come and attack Laurent, after he bit Bella. She's alone, a newborn, confused, and different.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 37,501 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 9/7/2010 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Sparkling Angel, I'm Ok by SparklingAngel917 reviews
Bella is secretly abused by Charlie, when Edward leaves in New Moon who will be there to pick up the pieces? Will she ever get her happy ever after? Rated M for violence, language, and lemons later.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 26,996 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Bella, Jasper
It's Meant To Be by taliamellark reviews
Bella is a new student to La Push;Jacob imprints on her. Best friend visits who too, has a secret. Theres a vampire who craves Bella's blood and one whose seeking revenge. Will Jacob be able to save her? Will she be able to save him? J\B Seth\OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,294 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Bella, Jacob
A werewolf and a vampire by Kira and Seth reviews
Bella's a new girl at school. Only one problem, she's a werewolf. Werecoyote to be more specific. What'll happen if SHE imprints on JASPER? B/JH T cause I'm paranoid. NOTE: This is now complete and will never be updated again. I apologize. I may rewrite.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,297 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 9/18/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Never Knew by caseylynn04 reviews
5 years after the Cullens leave Bella behind she's moved on and is happy living her life. What happens when a run in with a strange vampire leads her back to the last member of the Cullen family she'd ever thought would need her. Bella/Jasper pairing.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 91,919 - Reviews: 971 - Favs: 1,185 - Follows: 637 - Updated: 8/18/2010 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
That Kid by zutarababe reviews
It all started with that kid. That little baby toddler that apparently is mine and Katara's... Zutara! Set in WAT OCs!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,626 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/7/2010 - Published: 12/23/2009 - Zuko, Katara
Breaking the Rules by Sergeant-Politeness reviews
Bella and Emmett are left alone for a weekend, hilarity ensues Caffinated!Bella, Emmett wears tight baby tees, and there just might be a gwen steffani sing along. Not Em/B love story! Major Crack Alert
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 13,457 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 8/4/2010 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Bella, Emmett
Keep Your Enemies Closer by Pandastriker reviews
Second story. Azula captures Sokka in place of the Avatar and the two grow closer as The Gaang tries to find him. But when they do, will he go back with them? Main Sokkla, with some Zutara and Taang but nothing major
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 85,744 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Sokka, Azula
Becoming by LazalotAnreads reviews
As Jacob turns into a Werewolf, Bella turns into a Witch. Then the Pack asks Bella to join them, and she agrees. After that, life gets even stranger than it already was.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 36,489 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Bella, Jacob
It all started with a bonfire by neverendingXdreams reviews
-suck at summaries- Bella just moved from Arizona to Forks to live with Charlie, and realizes that her best friend Jake got really hot. Will their relationship be about more then just being best friends? lemony goodness in future chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,048 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Bella, Jacob
To Live in Azkaban by PadfootObsessed329 reviews
In their will, James and Lily Potter stated that under no circumstances was their son to be removed from his Godfather’s care. Now with Sirius Black in Azkaban, Albus Dumbledore has a problem. Will he really have to allow Harry Potter to live in Azkaban?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,805 - Reviews: 322 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 537 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 11/23/2005 - Sirius B., Harry P.
Fate Comes at a High Price by kierra1107 reviews
One day Bella goes to the beach to hang out with the pack, but she has never met Jared. When he sees her, he imprints. And let's just say Jacob isn't that happy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,206 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 7/21/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Bella, Jared
Levigardium Wingosa by SlupinLove reviews
Everything you've known about Harry Potter is turn upside down. Why? A conversation went differently. One conversation changed the entirety of Harry's whole life. Read. and. Review.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,038 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/14/2010 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Harry P., Draco M.
Asylum by x.BrokenHeartedDancer.x reviews
Bella and Alice twins. They both went to the asylum for the premintitions they were having, and got turned to save their lives, but it wasn't James that wanted them. Alice finds the Cullens, Bella finds James and his coven. Bella/Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,934 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Breaking Free by TheAlex reviews
Set in the beginning of Eclipse. Bella finally leaves Edward and seeks shelter with Jacob at La Push. While there love begins to grow, the two lovers run into perilous dangers. Battling crazed Edward and sick Victoria. can they survive? rated for future.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,334 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/30/2010 - Published: 6/26/2010 - Bella, Jacob
True love by xoMarinxo reviews
His story is about the love that Bella and Emmett share when he comes back in new moon and tells bell he left rosalie because he is madly in her... summary kinda sucks... The story is better thanit sounds... I think...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,365 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Too late now by pooshy-spoon reviews
After Edward left Bella was changed...still living a depressed lifestyle she and her new family Jackie and Mason move back to Forks WA...and the rest you will have to read and find out... rated M for language and possible lemons in the future
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,310 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 5/21/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Ari Potter by willow's pen reviews
AU- girl-who-lived... Lily prepared for the worst and for once Petunia listened to her sister... Story writen to amuse cashier -me- during slow times at work.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,501 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 6/2/2010 - Sirius B., Harry P.
UnBreak My Heart by alligatorpie reviews
After Bella's 18th birthday party, Jasper realizes that he's in love with Bella. Determined to make her okay again, he finds her in the forest after Edward leaves her. Will he be able to un-break her heart? Non-Canon, JasperxBella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 20,621 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 286 - Updated: 6/6/2010 - Published: 9/14/2009 - Jasper, Bella
learning to breathe by lizzy-sarah'-teampaul reviews
when bella moves in with her father and a strange gorgeous boy keeps on staring at her on her first day. and bella is running a temprature i know im crap at summaries so... R&R,x
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,896 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 5/31/2010 - Published: 1/17/2010 - Bella, Paul
Poof by neongreenleaves reviews
I can explain the title. There are wolves. They change. So. The story is about Bella after Edward left in which she surprisingly is doing pretty well. She falls for Paul as Paul falls for her. The relationship becomes tricky. Can they hold through?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,729 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/30/2010 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Bella, Paul
Harry Potter the Snake in Lions Skin by Jeremiah2006 reviews
Harry is smarter then he lets on. The Dursley's punished Harry for having better grades than Dudley in primary school. The engrained effect still causes Harry to have low grade at Hogwarts. Is there another reason for Harry's contined low grades?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,094 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 208 - Published: 5/26/2010 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
When the Silence is Broken, the Night is Torn by denial187 reviews
Bella knew deep inside, her love for Edward. But...when one little wet dream she has change the way she feels about Edward? Will Emmett return the favor of attraction & need? Will Edward do? What about Rosalie? Some slices of lemon. Told in third person
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,763 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 5/19/2010 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Persistence by Morghen reviews
On hold.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,306 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Lorcan S., Rose W.
Bella and Emmett reunite by Rose Hathaway9 reviews
Emmett is almost killed by a bear but saved by rosalie and is turned.Bella goes to look for Emmett but is turned.What happens when they see each other in Forks,Washington 100 years later. First fanfic story. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,274 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 5/4/2010 - Published: 3/2/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Corrupting Bella Swan by angel with fake wings reviews
What happens when you leave Bella with Jasper & Emmett.........TROUBLE ! Post Breaking Dawn. Involes ice-cream, a mental institue, wal-mart & family therapy ? I suck at summaries
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 13,061 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/27/2010 - Published: 1/3/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Rebel me by zutarianalltheway reviews
Katara goes for a swim oneday, when she comes back to the group, she has changed somehow... but they don't know what she did when she swam... mystery! YOU FIND OUT IN THE FIRST CHAPTER THO!RATED T FOR SAFETY, AND IF YOUR INNOCENT, DON'T READ! please
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,879 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Katara, Zuko
The Firelord and the Waterbender by Little Weasel Girl reviews
ZxK rated for lemon. Four years after the war. Zuko is now the Firelord. Katara is pregnant with his waterbending child. Will the Fire Nation accept her and their son? R&R.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,902 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 4/18/2010 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Zuko, Katara
A Different Fork at the Crossroads of Destiny by Densharr reviews
What if Zuko hadn't chosen to follow Azula in the Crystal Catacombs of Ba Sing Se? What if he had never lost Katara's trust, and never re-united with Mai? AU My take on pretty much the entire third book... Spoiler for S3 - On temporary hiatus
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 26,538 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Zuko, Katara
Mothers Sell Your Daughters by BrokenRosePetals reviews
He was a rich lonesome doctor with two young children. She was a runaway prostitute with nothing and no one but herself. In a chance meeting they may have a chance with each other to right their wrongs in life.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,233 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/10/2010 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Bella, Carlisle
The Pacifist by StopTheMadness reviews
I'm sorry" I whispered then flung myself off the cliff. What if Bella did want to die? Some one saves her. Anthony is Mysterious, and Bella want to know his secret. BellaxOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,195 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 3/10/2010 - Published: 3/9/2010 - Bella
Civil War Can Be a Good Thing by frostyneko121 reviews
What would happen if Jasper had met Bella back when he was a confederate soldier? All Cullens will be eventaually in the story, definately a JxB story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,342 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 2/12/2010 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Bella, Jasper
The New Group by MmStormer reviews
Katara and her friends said, no matter what, they were leaving at dawn. But what happens when Katara gets into a fight with her brother, goes to the river and gets comforted by her enemy? Does the group leave her?If so, what does Katara do?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,994 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/24/2010 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Katara, Zuko
The Island by Rin Bluegold reviews
A storm leaves the Gaang stranded on an uncharted island, and their bending is switched! But their bending isn't the only thing that's changed between them...feelings have been altered as well.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,689 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/22/2010 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Katara, Zuko
Attachment for Two by face.able reviews
When a spell goes wrong, Fred and Hermione find themselves unable to linger away from one another for too long. How will this all play out, through the difficult years to come? HF mainly. Rated M just in case. Read and review!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,165 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 11/14/2009 - Hermione G., Fred W.
All the Difference in the World by dragonfire owns reviews
Not everyone i who they seem to be. Voldemort is not evil while Dumbledore is more manipulative than ever. Creature!Dark!Independent!Harry Dark! not Evil!Voldemort Evil!manipulative!dumbledore harry/fem!blaise. ch. 3 up finally
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,882 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 12/14/2009 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
Assassin or Future Darklord? by The First-Born reviews
Harry's brother in mistaken as the BWL. Neglected by his parents, he runs away and is never seen again. Now at 16, he is a Death Hand, an assassain for the Dark Lord who also accepts him as his son. With strange powers and dark intentions he'll raise hell
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 44,417 - Reviews: 484 - Favs: 1,270 - Follows: 1,335 - Updated: 11/16/2009 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Harry P., Bellatrix L.
The Bookshop by HopelessRomantic79 reviews
A chance meeting in a bookshop could lead to more between Jasper and Bella. AH, AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 65,711 - Reviews: 727 - Favs: 916 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 8/22/2009 - Published: 6/17/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Wedding Rings and Southern Husbands by ZoeZK reviews
Edward brings a seemingly human Bella home and a lot eyebrows are raised when she reveals her true identity. How does Jasper fit into her past and what is so special about a ring? NOT Bella/Jasper...sorta. AU. T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,236 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 8/14/2009 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Listen To Your Heart by emmettsangel728 reviews
Bella Swan has never heard before. She is deaf. What happens when the Cullen's come to town and she meets Emmett. Can it be love? Can Emmett committ to a mute relationship? Can she one day hear the voice of that prince? All Human. E/R J/A Em/B
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,676 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Bella, Emmett
Blind Hope by photographynerd52 reviews
Emmett Cullen was blind as a human, and it stuck with him when he was changed into a vampire. Will he fall for a certain human girl? Will she treat him like he should be? First Fanfic! Please Review! EmxB ExR AxJ CxEs Rated M for future chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,855 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Bella, Emmett
Harry Potter: Football Star by Rdutchgirl411 reviews
The Dursley's have to America. How will Harry deal with it. AU! HP/OC
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,219 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 3/4/2009 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Harry P., OC
While you were gone by Ashley Terror reviews
Edward and Alice leave with the volturri during the newborn war. Jasper turns to be Bellas source of comfort. When it turns out something happened during the fight making Bella not so human, can the most dangerous Cullen and the semi human be together?BxJ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,074 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 2/28/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Jasper, Bella
Dance into the Night by Fantasycreaturegurl reviews
Hermione has just witnessed her parents death and now she must deal with being sent back in time. Time travel fic SS/HG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,025 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 2/12/2009 - Published: 5/19/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Wreaking Havoc by Catherine or Cate reviews
ABANDONED Independent! Powerful! Buttkicking!Political!Rich!Harry Manipulative!Dumbles. SEE WHAT HARRY DOES! IT WILL GIVE DUMBLEDORE'S GREY HAIRS GREY HAIRS! Language Warning. THIS IS NOT HP/BZ - they are just the lead characters. SEE NEW STORY SAME TITLE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 37,167 - Reviews: 415 - Favs: 485 - Follows: 676 - Updated: 8/7/2008 - Published: 7/24/2007 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
Identity Crisis by Original Dark Angel reviews
Upon realizing that Dumbledore lost sight of what was best for Lily's son after the events in the 1st year, Snape removed Harry from Hogwarts. Now a Sixth Year, Ree Evans returns to Hogwarts and turns expectations upside down.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,160 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 10/22/2006 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
A Black's Blessing in Green and Silver by Lord Perth reviews
Harry and fem!Blaise. Originally written by Black's Phoenix and handed over to me to finish
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 26,316 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 305 - Published: 6/28/2006 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
Staring Death in the Eye by daght-lote reviews
People have described his eyes as Avada Kedavra eyes. What if it was real, in the most literal sense of those words? Post OotP, 6th Year AU. Independent! Harry, HarryFem! Blaise pairing. Heir of Founders Harry, To Hell with Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,739 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 6/25/2006 - Published: 5/29/2006 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
A New Order by Blue Werewolf Boy reviews
When Harry finds out about his friends, he vows to get out of their control. Defying Dumbledore he goes to the bank to claim his true inheritance, find out his own hidden heritage he cuts all ties to Dumbledore. Not your usual heir of a mysterious person
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,652 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 392 - Updated: 10/12/2005 - Published: 9/22/2005 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
Harry Potter and the Azkaban Guards by Fanfix reviews
PostOoTP After being locked up at the Dursley’s, Harry is taken away to a new family, where the way of a Slytherin rules. Determination leads him to gain knowledge, seeking the power to destroy the Dark Lord for good. HarryBlaise *Temp. Abandoned*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,321 - Reviews: 620 - Favs: 485 - Follows: 595 - Updated: 9/29/2005 - Published: 4/7/2005 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
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It Would Have Been reviews
What if Charlie Wasn't a normal human? What if he and Bella were visiting relatives that Halloween night? What if they took Harry, and the Wizarding World didn't see him until 13 years later, when the Tri-Wizard Tornament became the Quad-Wizard Tornament?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,748 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 4/10/2011 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Harry P., Bella
Runaways reviews
8 kids who are sick of their home lives are losing hope of it ever changing, when a mysterious letter arives. it leads them to new families and places to call home. but what happens when they meet their ex-families 7 years later? M for parinoia.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,933 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/6/2011 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M.
The Other Side of the Pond reviews
What if bella was the wolf? what if the pack lived together? What if they only came out at night? what happens to jacob? and what about the cullens? M cuz i'm paranoid and might ad lemons. CHANGED TITLE! was origonally called WE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,403 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/6/2011 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Bella, Jacob
Don't underesimate a 'Puff reviews
My version of Talor Swift's Picture To Burn. Rose is a 'Puff, Lily, James,& Albus are 'Gryffs. T do to parinoia ONESHOT!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 567 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
If It Was You reviews
Cute One shot. Emmett human. Tell me if i should write more
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 245 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
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