Poll: Which Of my stories should I keep working on? Vote Now!
Author has written 5 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
is it just me or is this real creepy ( i finnaly figured out how to put stuff on my profile YA!!)
Did you know...
10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen:
10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”
10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale:
10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:
10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again.
And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?
1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen:
10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.
6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles
And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?
1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"
10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen:
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."
9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling
3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.
And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
10 ways to annoy Bella Swan:
10. Ask about Eric.
9. Ask about Mike.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.
10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale:
10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.
10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen:
10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”
6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.
4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.
And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black:
10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.
Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
Jack was the most popular guy in school.
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Ashley approached the movies that night
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
The next day at school Ashley wasn't
A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
Always with you, Ashley
Please foward this or Ashley will
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT’S HER!
May need a tissue
girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road,
the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him.
Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
The girl slowly came upon this one
It had creatures in the background and the man
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because you're freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
She goes and knocks but no one said
she opens it and finds her friend there on
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not re-post this in the next two
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?
Re-post or you are going to die
CUTE AND FUNNY QUOTES
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your
dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. (hell yea!)
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
"It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."
"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."
"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"
You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
He who laughs last didn't get it
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter
"I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother"
she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
things a boyfriend can do to keep ur heart!
• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in
• leave her cute text notes
• kiss her in front of your friends
• look into her eyes when you talk to her
• tell her she is gorgeous
• let her mess with your hair
• just walk around with her.
• "FORGiVE HER FOR HER MiSTAKES"
• look at her like shes the only one you see
• tickle her even when she says stop
• hold her hand when youre around your friends
• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her
• let her fall asleep in your arms
• tease her and let her tease you back
• let her fall asleep in your arms..
• stay up all night with her when shes sick
• watch her favorite movie with her
• give her the world
• write her letters
kiss her in the pouring raina girl
kiss her forehead ... at lest thats what they should do
Her name was Aurora
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrust the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
█ 10 suicidal
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.
Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.- that happens alot.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.
Silent is golden but duck tape is silver
Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washer machines.
You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.
Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.
Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.
You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.
Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.
Smile... it confuses people.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.
I don't obsess, I think intensely
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
Sunglasses are in the two splash category. The first splash is the sunglasses falling into the water. The second splash is you jumping in after them.
Is he gay or European?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile
If you've ever fallen out of a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil. Copy and paste this in your profile.
92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't cool to breath any more. Put this in your profile if you’re one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a wall, copy and paste this in your profile( This always happens to me!)
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're one of those people how get exited when you see just two reviews, copy this in your profile.
If you truely belive, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you ( Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen) copy and paste in your pro.
95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy and paste.
If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste.
If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste in your profile.
If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and is hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE!
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
I find "good morning" contradictory
Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon
I think I could be madly in like with you
Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
opps! I appear to have fallen on your lips!
Guys should be like lattes: rich, strong, and hot!
Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to)
Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.
They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.
"Whenever a choice is made based on the excuse "life’s too short", it’s certain that life will be just long enough to punish you for it."
-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies (except his favorite movie is Mean Girls) with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. (he refused to go to Pelham 123) It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-
It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them
- "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you." –
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
If kisses were raindrops,
Me & my friends
~aren't sold seperatly~
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile
If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have written a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile.
Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.
If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.
If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid locker!) copy and paste this to your profile.
If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.
98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
If you once choked on food, spit it out, and then it landed in your friends food and/or on their face copy and paste this on your profile.
If you knew that 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything 50 percent of the time, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile.
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.
If you've read Twilight over 4 times, copy this onto your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you're nocturnal copy and paste this in your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile
If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile.
Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.
If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile.
If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.
95 of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5 that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!"
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Join the dark side. We have cookies!
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.
Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!
History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I ran with scissors - and lived!
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.
You say physco like it's a bad thing…
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.
I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.
Cute but psycho - things even out.
If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.
Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I am not weird... just plotting
I don't obsess!I think intensely!
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night!)
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile
People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain.
Love is like water, it flows natural, sometimes it's calm, and sometimes it's rough, you just need to let it happen and let yourself go with it.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
The best proof of love is trust.
Nothing in this world is worth having if it comes too easy.
A friend is a person who dances with you in the sunshine and walks with you in the shade.
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love rain, the wind, and the cold copy and paste this in to your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
Crazy is a relative term in my family.
Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyway
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Love me or hate me. Personally I could not care less
Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
2. My mother taught me RELIGION
3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
4. My mother taught me LOGIC
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
7. My mother taught me IRONY
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
11. My mother taught me WEATHER
12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
15. My mother taught me: ENVY
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
19. My mother taught me: ESP
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
24.My Mother taught me Wisdom
25. My mother taught me about Justice
█ 10 percent Freak
Try not to cry...
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!... we fucked up... but that shit was fun!"
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
You know you're a writer...
-If you talk to yourself.
Copy and Paste this if you're a writer.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
Girl runs away in shock and pain and Boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself beter with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,Derangedpixie, Back Away Slowly Then Run, WhiteWolfLegend, authorinprogress97, blood wolfe 92
Reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
She ended up staying longer than
As she walked along under the tall elm
When she reached the alley, which was a
However, halfway down the alley she
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
When she reached the end of the alley,
The following day, she read in the
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
She felt she could recognize the man, so
The police asked her if she would be
She agreed and immediately pointed out
When the man was told he had been
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
My name is sarah
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
The Uncurable Disease
Hi, my name is Kazu.
I like Writing and I like Athletics.
I am running down the road
I suddenly tripped over.
I come home with a scatch on my knee.
My mummy begins to worry.
I tell her I am fine.
She sighs and says ok.
I am at school.
When suddenly I fall and hit a tree.
I am sent to the sickbay.
Then I am sent home.
Mummy takes me to the doctors.
The doctors tell mummy something.
Mummy starts to cry.
I tell her it's ok.
I'm not going to die.
She tells me I am starting.
Starting to be slower.
I don't know what it means.
But I have become sick.
I tell mummy it's ok.
I will become better.
Mummy starts to cry.
Do I have cancer?
Mummy says no.
Then what do I suppose.
As a year had past.
I struggle to walk.
My speech is getting slower.
It's hard for me to talk.
My friends like to help me.
My classmates like to run.
But I have to sit down.
And watch them have fun.
Then one day my teacher.
Comes to see mummy.
Daddy comes out.
And starts to get all snotty.
The teacher tells my parents.
I can no longer go to school.
My motion is too slow.
I ask the teacher slowly.
I am sorry I am useless.
I start to cry and beg her.
I want to go to school.
The teacher gives a smile.
And tells me she is sorry.
The school cant really help me.
The words were so cruel.
The day I had to leave.
My friends and classmates cried.
The boys upon the windows.
Wave to me goodbye.
I smile and sit in the car.
I am taken to a school.
A school with special people.
Just like me and you.
I start to have some fun.
I made a lot of friends.
As many years passed again.
I talk too slow to understand.
I cannot run anymore.
And I struggle to even stand.
I cannot write in my diary.
My motion is too slow.
Then one day I am sent.
To the hospital again.
Now many years have passed.
I lie in a warm bed.
I cannot move my body.
I cannot move again.
I talk very slowly.
I cannot move my head.
My mummy sits there crying.
My daddy looks depressed.
I ask my mummy sadly.
Am I going to die.
My mother holds my hand.
Yells and starts to cry.
A few more years later.
I have to shut my eyes.
I cannot talk or move.
I seem to have died.
Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.
"A guy gave his girl 12 roses, 11 real, one fake. There was note, and it said, "When the last rose dies, that's when I'll stop loving you."-Unknown
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.
Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.
Don't be so humble - you're not that great.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it.
Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.
If i dont call you
When i walk away from you mad
When i stare at your mouth
When i push you or hit you
When i start cussing at you
When im quiet
When i ignore you
When i pull away
When you see me at my worst
When you see me start crying
When you see me walking
When i'm scared
When i lay my head on your shoulder
When i grab at your hands
When i tease you
When i dont answer for a long time
When i look at you with doubt
When i say that i like you
When i bump into you
When i tell you a secret
When i look at you in your eyes
When i miss you
When you break my heart
When i say its over
I went to a party Mom…..
I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would.
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck ws drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I have to die.
So why do people do it Mom
Knowing it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when i go to heaven,
Put "Mommy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I Love you, Mom!"
So I love you adn good-bye
MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers)
If you believe you have a choice to live or die, than don’t drink and drive! You might just ruin someone else’s life including family and friends or you ruined your own Life! Don’t Drink and Drive!!
Copy and paste to your profile if you believe it.
If you're under the age of 11 or 12...you shouldn't even read this,
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.
It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons.
You're a 90's kid if:
You remember watching:
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
You remember reading "Goosebumps
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
When everything was settled by:
When kick ball was a daily activity.
When we used to obey our parents
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You remember The Original Game Boy.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching:
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember watching:
You remember Ring Pops.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players.
Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
One word. . . . . . . .trolls.
Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Lambchop's song never ended.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
Everyone watched the WB.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
When gas was 0.95 a gallon.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear...
It is sad because this is true.
Before Tupac was shot.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
It's so sad 'cause I never see or do ANY of this anymore!!
What are your 10 favorite Twilight characters (in order)?
Have you ever read a 5/3 fanfic? Sam & Bella. I love this pairing!!
What about an 8/4? Carlisle & Emmett EWW!!!
7/5? Sam & Jane... now I might :P
What if 5 walked in on 1 and 10? Sam walking in on Jasper & Felix would be HILARIOUS!!!!
Would you make out with 1? Hale yes
Has 6 ever walked in on 7 and 9? Peter walking in on Jane & Seth. Strangest mental image ever.
What if you walked in on 2, 10, and 4? Walking in on Paul Emmett & Felix would be the greatest day of my life!!! ;)
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts
3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping
4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire
5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children
9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness
13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Dumb scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? (Ima Girl Though?)
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait
...This one bulletin is for you...
Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...
PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the enthusiastic friend that comes to a party of a friend's and wonders what her friend would do if she kissed her.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender.
Right down the answers to these and then look at the answers.
Done with that?
Here are the answers:
1. You are in love with this person.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will become true before your next birthday!!
"They hurt her"
About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.
Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.
If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.
If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!
Come to the dark side, we have cookies!
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You love, I love. You jump off a cliff, I go get a cookie
You're just jealouse because the voices are talking to me
My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Love comes in many colors
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Boys are like trees, the take 50 years to grow up
Hold on to the people you love forever, but know when to let them go.
Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to you is to have nothing to do with it.
Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
Love your enemys! It really pissess them off!
A postitve attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!
I'm not insensitive, I just dont care
You Know You're a Book Addict If:
You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.
You write fanfictions about the book.
You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it.
You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.
Everything reminds you of the book.
You quote random lines all the time.(Example:" ' We heard you were having Bella for lunch and we came to see if you would share. ' ") (Not Twilight. I have the tendency to quote Harry Potter)
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class
You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.
You've got a book memorized.
You've read a book more than five times.
You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (I’ve done that multiple times. The last three Harry Potter books…finished those in a day each.)
You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.
You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.
You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.
You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.
You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human.
You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf.
You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.
Your idol is a character from a book.
If you wish you could go to a vampire academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile.
If you cried like a baby through the last chapters of Shadow Kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile.
If you cried though out Blood Promise when Rose thinks back to the old Dimitri, copy and past this to your profile.
If you want to cuss Spirit Bound out cause of the ending cope and past this to your profile.
If you are so angry at the freaking Strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this.
If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the hell of it then copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.
If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile!!
If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your... well you know what comes next.
If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes from thinking about Vampire Academy, copy this into your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
Ten things to see before you die
1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.
2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.
3. Homer say something intelligent.
4. Taxes disappear.
5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.
6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children.
7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.
8. Wrestling people forget their moves.
9. The coyote catch the road runner.
10. The reaction of the teen population if Abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing
1. Try not to think about penguins.
2. Make prank calls
3. Look up a really hot celb on the web and drool over them
4.Try to find something for your BFF's next birthday.
5. Atempt knitting.
6. Write a list of boredm busters.
7. Listen to Bugy Malone's "My name is Talluah"
8. Look up Norman Bates
9. Email gradma
10. Update your blog.
11. Think how Dimka probably will be saved in Spirit Bound and feel happy.
12. Eat 6 spoons of suger and get hyper... you will find something to do... trust me.
13. Think of something funny your BFF said the otehr day.
14. Think about how cringy the fashion sense was in 1960
15. Drool over Ben Barnes.
16. Get Prince Caspian from your video store and spend 2:27:22 hours drooling over Ben Barnes.
17. Think about that guy in your math class who makes it hard to breathe right.
18. Try to imatate the bitch in your english class.
19. Try to immate Talluah
20. Write your aduiobigriphay about yourself
21. Write an emaressing bio about your BFF
22. Compare you and your BFF to Lissa and Rose.
23. Read the lust charm sence in Vampire Academy.
24. Stare at someone in your house.
25. Stare at your cat.
26. Change clothes.
27. Take a shower.
28. Wonder if I was trying to tell you something in the "Take a shower" idea.
29. Give your pet an interesting new haircut
30. Drop your cat from a high window, see if they land on all fours.
31. Let your dog chase after a car
32. Let him catch it
Emmett's the strongest.
But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous!
Repost this if you think Jasper is HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed
Don't mess with me I've got a stick
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!