Author has written 1 story for Naruto.
Sup Ritsuka here.
I have little to no writing ability, so please I hope you didn't expect much.
"Think of all the fun we can have! The teachers we'll scar, the students we'll corrupt!
Theres always a way out, and sometimes it comes with missle launchers.
"Some of the worst sinners are the world's happiest people."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"A life? COOL! Where can I download one of those!"
"One day we'll look back at this moment, laugh nervously, then change the subject."
"I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault."
"Welcome to loserville. Population: You."
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions."
"Pain. Joy. Sorrow. Suffering. The beats of life."
"Need a vacation? GO AWAY!"
"I may not be very smart, but I can lift heavy things."
"Randomness is the base of conversation.”
"I lost my mind a long time ago. Hm ... But, I haven't missed it yet."
"Stupidity makes the world go round. Or lopsided, same difference."
"Do you know you're short?"
"I hear highschool's easier the second time around."
"Who needs food? We have snowcones!"
"I will temporarily rule the world, forever."
"It's improbable, immoral, and against my religion."(My excuse for not doing homework!)
"I'm not crazy I'm just ... well, I'm not crazy!"
"Some things children's eyes shouldn't see...your face is one of them."
"Dude, like, I think she's speaking Chinese again."
"Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass."
"Impotence...Nature's way of saying ‘No hard feelings’,”
"Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film."
"Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date."
"I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off."
"Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends."
"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."
"Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself."
"Would you follow Jesus this close?"
"Never mess with a guy wearing make-up. They mean business."
"Tell me. What is it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?"
"If you continue to poke me with that chopstick i will not cease to kill you with it."
"If you needed help in killing yourself, you could have asked. I'd be happy to oblige."
"Now, I want you all to start daydreaming. Yes, just pretend you're listening to my lecture. Yeah, that's the glazed expressions I want!"
"Hell is actually a lot hotter than this room, but the joy levels about the same."
“If you are going to burn, you have to burn RIGHT,”
"If you don’t leave now, I will personally kill you, then spend the rest of my life dancing on your grave the moment I can actually move again."
"I think we’ve had a bad influence on him, he’s as crazy as we are."
"I'll have you know I am ROYAL!"-"A Royal PAIN!"
"Pest."-/At your service. /-(With a smile.)
“Children. We are here to exchange money. Not squabble about your nonexistent past lives. Now the nice goblins are waiting to take your money and open a bank account for you. Please try to at least act like normal, quiet, peaceful, law-abiding citizens for once in your damned lives.”
“IT’S ON FIRE, IT’S ON FIRE, AND FIRE IS HOT!”
“Look, we haven’t spoken Latin since the pigs left.”
“That’s my boy, you’re always been a pain in the butt.”
“Now you know that evil will always triumph because good is stupid.”
“-We came here to look for a bathroom. Not your past!”
"I SWEAR TO DRUNK I’M NOT GOD!"
"I LOVE weddings! Drinks all around!"
“If there’s anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now.”
"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train."
"If you fall off a cliff, you might as well try to teach yourself to fly on the way down."
"I know half of you half as well as I should like... And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve…”
"Nothing is more eternal than massive amounts of paperwork."
"We’ve just witnessed a classic case of something called ‘misdirected rage.’ I believe the technical term is ‘being an ass.’"
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is nifty."
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup."
"Sorry, I don't have time to be arrested."
“Well, that was a nine-point-nine on the ‘Weird-Shit-O-Meter’.”
"It's amazing how the body can deceive the world, and the eyes can betray all the secrets the heart and soul could hold.."
"It takes a second to meet someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, and a lifetime to forget someone."
"Funny isn't it; how you push away those that love you, and welcome those that hate you,"
“I DON’T CARE! IN THIS KITCHEN, I AM GOD!”
“Words marked, remembered, and stored for blackmail!”
"It's all fun and games until someone loses an appendage. Then it's just a game of keep away!"
If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
Things that I find funny/cool/awesome/wired/true/you get the point
1. God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women
2. Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up
3. Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs
4. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
5. We women have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
6. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
7. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
8. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.
9. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
10. If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, on to a little seesaw, and then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
11. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
12. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
13. My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
14. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
15. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
16. I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
17. It's strange, isn't it? You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.
18. And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
19. God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
20. Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
21. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
22. Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
23. A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
24. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
25. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
26. I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
27. My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
28. If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.
29. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
30. Football's not a matter of life and death ... it's more important than that.
31. 'Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.
32. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
33. Love- A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
34. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
35. 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
36. I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
37. The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!
38. Peanuts are used in making dynamites
39. Rubber bands last longer when they are refrigerated
40. Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.