Claudz126
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Joined 02-24-10, id: 2268374, Profile Updated: 08-31-10
Author has written 1 story for Kirby, and Super Smash Brothers.

Heya! Claudz126 here! I have retired (possibly permanently) and am a reviewer. If you want, send me a link to your story, and I'll give it a little R&R. However, I am NOT part of the review revolution, so I will NOT review every story I read. Let's say I read 100 stories a day (I don't). 10% are awful, 70% are decent/not half-bad, and 20% - a. make me laugh my socks off, b. get me thinking or c. is just a REALLY good read. The bottom 10% and the top 20% of stories I read I review (usually). The bottom 10% I will give constructive criticism, and the top 20% I will praise and explain why I like it.

~Random Stuff~

1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Claizzle

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (color and animal): Yellow Okapi

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): *emabarassed* Sigourney Kendall

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Coxclhaw

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (color, drink): Red Juice

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Lxiendon

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): (what do I do if my mother doesn't HAVE a middle name?!)

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Dexter (Or Black Edna if you want the name of my water-snail)

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong): Apple Dinner

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory): Green Parrot

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

~Bold the ones that fit you and add~

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.

I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm NOT POPULAR so I MUST have no life.

I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.

I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.

I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.

I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.

I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.

I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think I'm all that".

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy.

I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser.

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kindof girlfriend.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

I DO STUDENT GOVERNMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.

I TRY so I MUST be an over-achiever.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you get 2 reveiws copy and paste this into your profile!

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combonation of both...copy and paste this onto your profile

If fanfiction shut down and you would go insane because of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those annoying mosquitos that give you mosquito bites, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are obsesed with fanfiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull (or visa versa) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen going up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen back in your chair before, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. I still do...twitch it's totally against my nature!

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C. or the Hills religiously, never have, never will, copy and paste this onto your profile

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (When else am I meant to do it?!)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (REALLY?!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I Have Crossed Oceans Of Time To Find You by ToryTigress92 reviews
On her sixteenth birthday, Hermione receives strange visions and a heritage she never knew she possessed and Lord Voldemort will discover the one woman who can save his soul. Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger. Set during OOTP and the DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 22 - Words: 51,672 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 1,213 - Follows: 543 - Updated: 5/12/2011 - Published: 8/22/2009 - [Hermione G., Voldemort] [Tom R. Jr., OC] - Complete
Truth or Dare by macadoodles reviews
Time to have a little fun. You can ask questions or dare any character from Alice! Please send in your dares! Rated T just to be safe! If you read this Tarrant will give you a virtual cookie!
Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,828 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/7/2010 - Published: 4/17/2010
Blinded by misswhiteblack reviews
In one glance she's changed everything. - JamesOlly ... freeverse for my Corridors & Secret Passageway Readers
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 480 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/14/2010 - James S. P., OC - Complete
To Envy a Gryffindor by dork-with-glasses reviews
It wasn't a bad thing. To envy someone who was daring, brave and chivalrous. It wasn't a bad thing. Not really. But, however much you envy one, you're no Gryffidor. Not yet anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,649 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Regulus B., Severus S. - Complete
Logical, Really by dork-with-glasses reviews
They all thought it would be Rose...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Scorpius M., Roxanne W. - Complete
Everything and Nothing by misswhiteblack reviews
Everything and Nothing never go together. Regulus wants to talk. Sirius doesn't understand why.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,809 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Regulus B., Sirius B.
To Moony by dork-with-glasses reviews
In all honesty, Moony, I really hope you don't have to read this because a. It'll mean I've snuffed it and b. Well it means I've snuffed it and quite frankly, I kind of like living... Remus finds a letter after Sirius's death. Not RL/SB but slight RL/NT
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,100 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Ice Cream Tour by CreativeKiss reviews
Hei encounters an elusive, silver-haired girl and is instantly curious to meet her. She's not interested in him, but after her first taste of ice cream, Hei offers to show her new flavors. With each new flavor, Kirsi offers a new fact about herself.
Darker than BLACK - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,705 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Hei, Yin
Guide to the Weasley Girls by dork-with-glasses reviews
Fact- You will fall for a Weasley girl at least once during your seven years at Hogwarts.The curls, Quidditch positions, flaming tempers & 'loveable' personalities are all wrapped up specially for you! Hold onto your hats Gents, you're in for a wild ride.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,744 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 3/9/2010 - Published: 2/8/2010 - Scorpius M. - Complete
The Teachers' Notebook by alittleinsane963 reviews
Inside this story you will find the chronicles of the 7 years of torture the staff of Hogwarts had to endure, from their point of view, due to 4 boys. That's right. None other than James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 107 - Words: 130,006 - Reviews: 2703 - Favs: 679 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Minerva M., Remus L. - Complete
Emmett Humors Us All by MyLifeIsEdwardCullen reviews
A Series of One-Shots which explores how funny and sometime dumb Emmett is! Better than it sounds. Give it a try! Sometime AH.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,263 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Emmett
Dawn of the ReDead by Lisilgirl reviews
The living dead walk! Can Link survive "R"-Day with only a handful of rupees, three bottles of potion, and a bomb? Happy Halloween!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,256 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/25/2009 - Link, Navi - Complete
A Whole New Edward by fluffily reviews
Edward becomes a female for one full day as a punishment from his family for what he did to their cars. What happens? Read and find out! T just in case....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,063 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 5/30/2008 - Complete
Zelda's Revenge
Kirby's hit band soon finds another member - his husband, Link! Except Zelda's not particularly happy about it, and she'll do anything to get her fiancée back... and Zelda's not the only one... *HAITUS*
Crossover - Kirby & Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 901 - Published: 5/3/2010 - Link