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Joined 02-28-10, id: 2273313, Profile Updated: 06-23-13

I've been reading Fan Fiction for a while now, and I've come to a conclusion: there are three kinds of HP Fan fiction, the fan fiction where the author writes like 3 words and then abandons the story. The other kind has so many cliché's in it that I read one chapter, or if I can stomach it, get all the way to the end, the surprise twist is that Snape or Malfoy is Harry's boyfriend. The last kind, a minority, is the good kind, usually written by an established author, that can never be updated soon enough. this is about 2-3 % of HP stories.

Another thing i cant stand about some stories, is that they give no warning when there's gonna be some guy on guy action. I'll come to a good story, and then all of a sudden, bam! Gay sex or yaoi or whatever you wanna call it. Give me some warning.

Some stories, the summary just seems too good to be true, so I check the authors notes and the beginning and end. Just now, i was about to read a story, but checked the AN, and the author was running a polls, in the reviews, about what should happen, which is something I can't stand. I want those 10 seconds of my life back. Doing polls like that only proves that you have no imagination.

Another thing I can't stand, those little copy and paste things people always put in their profiles. Oh, if Abercrombie and Fitch said it was uncool to breath, 92% of all teenagers would be dead, or some stupid thing like that, or 98% of teenagers have either smoked, drank, or tried drugs, C&P if you haven't!! It is really annoying. I like how the last one calls over 1 billion people druggies. In fact, I hate chain messages and letters so much, whenever I get junk mail, I mail the sender a sock or something, or my dirty underwear.

My guidelines for HP fanfiction are these:

#1 Never post an abandoned fic. If you're going to abandon a fic, just delete the story, and set up a plot bunny file or something like that, and put the story in there.

#2 Never have polls where readers can vote to see which way the story is going to go.

#3 If you're going to write yaoi, please put that in the description. I, for one, do not enjoy guy on guy action.

#4 Only do clichés for fun. some clichés, its done in an intentional way, to be funny, others, its weird or annoying.

#6 Don't put your fantasies on the characters. If you want to give Harry or some other male a harem, you'll probably lose a lot of girl readers. In adult fanfics, authors put their fantasies on the characters, ie, the main male character will have a huge dick, or somebody attractive will be sex hungry, etc.

#7 Spell check. its pretty easy, and if you don't know how to spell you shouldn't be on fanfiction.

#8 Make bashing fics make sense. If you're going to make a manipulative Dumbledore fic, make an argument for it. Say Dumbledore bound Harrys magic or something like that. Why would he do that? What purpose would it be for? How would it benefit him?

#9 Make sure people can tell where the story begins, or ends, and where the authors notes start.

#10 Never reply to reviews in the authors notes. I see this sometimes, its where a reviewer asks a question or gives advice, or something like that, and instead of just hitting the reply URL in the email fanfic sends you, they decide to reply IN the chapter.

#11 Proofread. Some stories, a chapter, or even the entire story is in bold for some reason, or underlined, or in italics.

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The Havoc side of the Force by Tsu Doh Nimh reviews
I have a singularly impressive talent for messing up the plans of very powerful people - both good and evil. Somehow, I'm always just in the right place at exactly the wrong time. What can I say? It's a gift.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Mystery - Chapters: 12 - Words: 73,852 - Reviews: 1849 - Favs: 3,621 - Follows: 3,988 - Updated: 6h ago - Published: 9/6/2012 - Anakin Skywalker, Harry P.
Massive Shock 2: Infinite Mass by Mockingbird79 reviews
In late 2181, I woke up on the Citadel, in another Universe. Of course, that's not so strange, considering I'd just spent 6 years in Rapture. But now, one year later, it's time for Shepard, Saren, the Reapers... Mass Effect. The epic continuation of the Massive Shock Self Insert Series. Cover by Skyline19.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 21 - Words: 136,401 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 3/22 - Published: 12/20/2012
Mass Effect: The First War by ProfFartBurger reviews
The Prothean Ruins weren't. They contained little more than mentionings of an Alien Society; as a result, humanity develops on a completely different path than what was intended, and when first contact is made not with the Turians, but a desperate, destitute race viewed as beggars and thieves, how will this dying race change Humanity? And how will Humanity change the Galaxy? *A/U!*
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 195,052 - Reviews: 1484 - Favs: 1,820 - Follows: 1,631 - Updated: 1/12 - Published: 1/26/2013 - OC - Complete
Swapping The Cage by Rathanel reviews
Konoha wakes up one morning to find that the Naruto they knew is gone. But the replacement claims he's Naruto too, and they can't be that different... right?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 145,475 - Reviews: 946 - Favs: 1,624 - Follows: 1,542 - Updated: 1/5 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Kyuubi/Kurama
The Well Groomed Mind by Lady Khali reviews
On Halloween 1994, Harry learns his mind isn't his own. On Samhain morn, he vows to question everything. Armed with logic and an unlikely ally, Harry makes a last ditch bid to reclaim his life. The goal: survive at all costs. On Hiatus.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 183,000 - Reviews: 2817 - Favs: 4,704 - Follows: 5,289 - Updated: 4/9/2013 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Harry P.
10 Minutes And A Week Of Hell! by CrazyDuck5280 reviews
10 Minutes can be the difference between the peace and the hell at Hogwarts! AU third year
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,152 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 834 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 2/10/2013 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
Continuing the Cycle by Phantom Feline reviews
Harry thought he would die; had anticipated it, even. So now what will he do in this new world, one without magic? Not to say that there isn't power lurking here... With snakes calling him 'Lord', and everyone else saying 'Abomination', is it any surprise that he's not going to have an easy time settling down? Subtle HP AU. Eventual Naruto AU. Slow paced. Rated M; Dark Themes.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 116,215 - Reviews: 1568 - Favs: 2,367 - Follows: 2,799 - Updated: 12/17/2012 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Harry P.
DADA boycott by Midnighter 13 reviews
Hermione comes up with a plan to get Umbridge out of the castle, a full scale class boycott, the results are... unexpected.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,773 - Reviews: 862 - Favs: 1,620 - Follows: 1,970 - Updated: 9/24/2012 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Naruto: Myoushuu no Fuuin by May Wren reviews
A seal had managed to defeat and imprison the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the strongest demon to ever exist. It was just ink on paper-or a stomach, as the case may be-and it held so much power… 'Yeah,' Naruto decided 'I gotta get me some of that.'
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 92,529 - Reviews: 3538 - Favs: 8,882 - Follows: 8,499 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Naruto U.
Common Sense by DisobedienceWriter reviews
My odd ideas file. Little snippets that don't quite merit their own stories. Some funny; some less so.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 107,361 - Reviews: 1273 - Favs: 1,221 - Follows: 773 - Updated: 6/16/2012 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Complete
Food Scandal by Malicean reviews
Governmental contracts usually go to the lowest bidder. Even in galaxies far, far away. And, here or there, you get what you pay for.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,203 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Darth Vader - Complete
Mass Effect: A new past by Bombsquad reviews
A different history to Mass Effect in which Human technology develops along different lines than anything the Citadel knows...an Alternative History of Mass Effect.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 137,294 - Reviews: 583 - Favs: 945 - Follows: 484 - Updated: 5/18/2011 - Published: 12/11/2010 - Complete
They just had to be written by Chris Hill reviews
Selected shorts that just tickled the imagination after people start tossing ideas about.
X-overs - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 59 - Words: 51,375 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 4/26/2011 - Published: 9/29/2007
God of Illusion, Host of the Devil's Arm by Thanathos reviews
Naruto's sister was chosen for the sealing. The Yondaime lived. Despite his talent and hard work, Naruto slowly faded into the background of his sister. He suffered a crippling accident. His desperate attempt to fix himself will change the world.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 60,502 - Reviews: 1944 - Favs: 3,788 - Follows: 3,444 - Updated: 3/11/2011 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Naruto U.
Inviolate by scriviner reviews
Someone messed with Luthor's mind. Someone was going to pay. A mystery that slowly unveils a terrible secret within the DCU and Lex's response to what he finds. Now complete!
DC Superheroes - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 26 - Words: 160,886 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 3/6/2011 - Published: 11/26/2009 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Champion's Champion by DriftWood1965 reviews
Harry allows Ron to compete for him in the tournament. How does he fare? This is a Harry/Hermione story with SERIOUSLY Idiot!Ron Bashing. If that isn't what you like, please read something else. Complete but I do expect to add an alternate ending or two.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 108,951 - Reviews: 3270 - Favs: 5,001 - Follows: 2,332 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Quantum Leap by Seel'vor reviews
Harry Potter won the Second Blood War and defeated his enemies... and was left with nothing. Decades later, he contributes to the creation of a revolutionary new piece of technology and destroys the future in order to rewrite his own past...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 274,521 - Reviews: 4363 - Favs: 5,512 - Follows: 5,702 - Updated: 10/28/2010 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G.
In this World and the Next by robst reviews
Not for Weasley fans, dark beginning and rating is for safety. A Re-do with payback on the menu H/Hr Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 164,711 - Reviews: 4271 - Favs: 5,849 - Follows: 3,008 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Poison Pen by GenkaiFan reviews
Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 74,506 - Reviews: 7610 - Favs: 12,538 - Follows: 5,714 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and Afterlife Inc by dunuelos reviews
My own response to Reptilia28's challenge. Harry died in the battle with Voldemort. What happens when he meets the Grim Reaper? Especially when the Reaper isn't happy with him. Rating changed to more appropriate one. HHr. Other pairings as they come.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 110,380 - Reviews: 1111 - Favs: 3,006 - Follows: 931 - Updated: 2/25/2010 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Can't Have It Both Ways by robst reviews
If you are forced to participate in a competition that's reserved for adults only, doesn't that mean you should be considered an adult? Harry gets some much needed help and advice before having some fun by allowing his marauder heritage out to play. H/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 106,352 - Reviews: 2547 - Favs: 5,790 - Follows: 2,526 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The Unforgiving by DisobedienceWriter reviews
A banished Naruto is told he needs to return to the Hidden Leaf by an emissary of the new Rokudaime Hokage. His reaction isn't what you'd expect.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,146 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 1,968 - Follows: 425 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Wizards by Corwalch reviews
Harry was sent to Azkaban after being framed for murder in the beginning of his 6th year at Hogwarts. While there, he unlocks the "Power the Dark Lord Knows Not". What will happen once his former friends know he's innocent? Watch the fun.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 136,710 - Reviews: 1900 - Favs: 4,942 - Follows: 1,583 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
A Squib Worth by Naia reviews
The day Harry Potter turned eleven was the day he would have re-entered the magical world. But the letter never came; Harry Potter was a Squib. Dismissed by the wizards, he makes a quiet life for himself and will not stand for them to ruin it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,460 - Reviews: 434 - Favs: 1,997 - Follows: 386 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
No Thank You by Sarah1281 reviews
What if the Dursley family had taken the more practical route of treating Harry kindly in order to keep him away from magic? What if it worked? What if he wants nothing to do with the wizarding world and Dumbledore has to solve his own problems for once?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,608 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 1,150 - Follows: 190 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts by Clell65619 reviews
The War is Over, Harry has won. But at what cost? At odds with Dumbledore, estranged from the Weasleys, betrayed by Lupin, Harry tries to carry on for his 7th year. Harry/Daphne. There will be Humor, there will be Romance, also Drama and Angst.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 73,198 - Reviews: 1975 - Favs: 4,138 - Follows: 1,899 - Updated: 10/24/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
Harry Potter Mercenary by DobbyElfLord reviews
Harry Potter is sent to prision for a crime he did commit. Now they need their hero back but he's lost all interest in saving them. They threw him away and now its going to cost them. Note rating! One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27,402 - Reviews: 717 - Favs: 4,290 - Follows: 768 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Blink by demonicnargles reviews
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable barrier? Things break. Things like Time. Another take on Kyuubi and the Shinigami's seal. One-shot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,907 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 73 - Published: 8/25/2008 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
The Hunter by demonicnargles reviews
Betrayed, Naruto becomes the Hunter, a merciless phantom who lives in the forest, killing indiscriminately. But in the end, he finds that he can't stay angry, even at those who drove him away to begin with. Dark. Violent.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,702 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/14/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Assassin in the Smoky Shadow by DisobedienceWriter reviews
Naruto receives a different type of childhood...and a different sort of training. Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,355 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 725 - Follows: 154 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Art of the Deal by Case13 reviews
No one starts on top of the world. Bereft of his dream, or even a chance for it, Uzumaki Naruto starts his own path to the top of the world.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 38,546 - Reviews: 1127 - Favs: 2,601 - Follows: 2,352 - Updated: 5/23/2008 - Published: 5/5/2007 - Naruto U., Anko M.
The Horror! The Horror! by DisobedienceWriter reviews
Humorous, post GOF tale. Harry goes to Africa and sets up a potions ingredient business. Wackiness ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 39,926 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 1,712 - Follows: 588 - Updated: 4/17/2008 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
The Birth of Evil by DisobedienceWriter reviews
Tom Riddle was able to use magic long before he received a wand. In this AU, Harry has the same grasp on his magic...and a hatred for Muggles... Watch the birth of evil. Smart!Dark!Evil!Harry, All 7 Years
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25,965 - Reviews: 625 - Favs: 3,089 - Follows: 576 - Published: 3/15/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Irish Choice by DisobedienceWriter reviews
With all the crappy stuff Harry goes through at Hogwarts, the smart money would be on him transferring to a different, better school early in his career. Here’s one way it might have happened. No planned pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 62,622 - Reviews: 600 - Favs: 2,807 - Follows: 788 - Updated: 9/20/2007 - Published: 9/6/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
A Bad Week at the Wizengamot by DisobedienceWriter reviews
What would have happened if Harry had been convicted by the Wizengamot after defending himself from dementors before his fifth year at Hogwarts? Humorous! Followup stories on Sirius Black plus Cornelius Fudge's attempt at becoming a dark lord.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 22,251 - Reviews: 544 - Favs: 2,966 - Follows: 571 - Updated: 8/14/2007 - Published: 7/6/2007 - Complete
Old Soldiers Never Die by Rorschach's Blot reviews
A gift from his uncle Vernon gives Harry a new way to fight the Dark Lord
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 94,234 - Reviews: 2498 - Favs: 3,670 - Follows: 1,464 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 2/4/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Accounting no Jutsu by daniel-gudman reviews
Lots of people have postulated that Naruto's good at financial planning. Let's follow that thought a little farther into the future.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,164 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 3,049 - Follows: 419 - Published: 2/15/2006 - Naruto U. - Complete
Evil Be Thou My Good by Ruskbyte reviews
Nine years ago Vernon Dursley brought home a certain puzzle box. His nephew managed to open it, changing his destiny. Now, in the midst of Voldemort's second rise, Harry Potter has decided to recreate the Lament Configuration... and open it... again.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40,554 - Reviews: 1529 - Favs: 4,457 - Follows: 832 - Published: 6/24/2005 - Harry P., Hermione G.