╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed
1.YOUR REAL NAME: Michelle
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):Micizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): aquadog
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):Valentina Culloden
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Sanmiher
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): pinkcoke
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): inveija
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Fermina
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):blacktimindie
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: After you are finished crying, will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Will run after you when you run away
BEST FRIENDS: Never give you a reason to run
███ 20 resilient
████ 30 writer (NOT)
█████ 40 musical (NOT)
██████ 50 genius
███████ 60 beautiful
█████████ 70 Twilight Addict
██████████ 80 Tall
███████████ 90 gum chewer
█████████████ 100 ME!
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you! (I apply to 63 of the things, so I'm 63 stupid...not a good thing :/)
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
If you could read that put it in your profile
there were 2 girls
They were looking through peoples
The girl slowly came upon this one
It had creatures in the background and the man
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
She goes and knocks but no one said
she opens it and finds her friend there on
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not repost this in the next two
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?
Repost or you are going to die
Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
Jack was the most popular guy in school.
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Ashley approached the movies that night
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
The next day at school Ashley wasn't
A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
Always with you, Ashley
Please foward this or Ashley will
You know its the 21st Century when:
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.
Reasons why girls are the best:
patrick: you have it set to M for mini when it should be set to W for wumbo
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?
My mom and 'ya esta puesto' witch mean is it on yet in spanish
Where are you right now?
In my living room on my computer
Look up, now look back. What did you see?
The WONDERFUL view of the ceiling(!)
What's the last thing you ate?
Ravioli and rice
What's your personality like?
Ummm...most people would describe me as shy and nice
What was the last thing you thought?
I was thinking about Edward and how perfect he is! Sighs dreamily
You have a million dollars. What do you do?
Idk. That's a hrad one.
What are you eating/drinking RIGHT NOW
What are you thinking RIGHT NOW?
This quiz. Duh. Need to concentrate
What's it like being you?
I am the type of girl who loses interest in things very quickly.
What are your thoughts on writing?
Writing is sorta fun
How tall are you?
5'6 and I'm only 13!
What book are you currently reading?
The Host by the author of the twilight saga
What music are you listening to?
What was the last website you visited before fan fiction?
What was the last thing you cooked?
Does cereal count?
What color are the walls of the room you are in?
Do you know who the governor of your state is?
How many different programs are open on your computer right now?
fanfiction and my email
Have you ever been water-skiing?
No. And I don't plan on it.
What is the weather like?
It is raining outside
Are you going an vacation this summer and where?
ya The Twilight Saga kicks ass
This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away (if well aimed).
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist. :P )
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile. (I MEAN COME ON!! I'M A V-A-M-P-I-R-E, THEREFORE HUMAN IDENTIFICATION IF POINTLESS!!)
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on to your profile.
Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
Being mature is overrated.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!
One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you
"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" (Me: Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!)
If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your best friend's pencils suck, copy and paste this into your profile.
People who say "nothing's impossible" have never tried slamming a revolving door.
If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune...
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile
If you have ever walked into the men's toilets instead of the ladies or vice versa, paste this onto your profile.
If your friends are surprised that you haven't given them A.D.H.D., Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. (Then I fell down the rest of the stairs, that were luckly covered with carpet, and let me tell you: IT FLIPPIN' HURT! I THOUGHT I'D BROKEN SOMETHING.)
If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.
If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843
Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901
Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916
Edward Cullen: Sexier, hotter and spicier Than You since 1901
I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you".
If you slap anyone who tells you that Edward Cullen is not real, copy and paste this into your profile
Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
My name is Chris.
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't do a wrong
I can't speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe i'll just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He's already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE
╔╗╔═╦╗ put this on your page
Copy Kitty onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side.