Kia Ora All! ... (That Means Hello)

Name: ...Hmmm, good question.

Gender: I AM a GURL/WOMAN/FEMALE/ The ''Mystery to men'' type thing. Do not mistake that. Ever. Im just joking...

And: -Im a huge FanFiction Addict!

Big Fans of :

Games: Final Fantasy 7, Final Fantasy 8, Final Fantasy X, X-2, XII and More Final Fantasies, Kingdom Heart I and Kingdom Hearts II. (Square Enix Games)

Cartoons: The Simpsons, Family Guy, Teen Titans, American Dad, South Park, Ben 10 - Alien Force - Ultimate Alien etc (Any and Every Funny Cartoon!)

Anime: Naruto, Dragonball Z.

Programmes: Supernatural, Glee (I know, im such a geek), Smallvile (Hey, Clarks pretty Hot), Prince of Belair (Definately!) Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, The Middle, How I met your mother etc.

Main Couples/Pairings: (Just a few, Not all of them)

FINAL FANTASY/ KINGDOM HEARTS: Yuffie/Vincent, Yuffie/Reno, Tifa/Cloud, Aerith/Zack, Yuffie/Leon-Squall, Sora/Kairi, Yuffie/Riku, Terra/Aqua Rikku/Auron, Rikku/Gippal.

TEEN TITANS: Raven/Garfield, Raven/Robin, Bee/Cyborg, Starfire/Robin, Raven/Aqualad-(For some reason unknown to me...) , Raven/Red X

DRANGONBALL Z: Videl/Gohan, Goku/Chi-Chi, Vegeta/Bulma, Trunks/Pan etc.

(and thats all im gonna do for now cause I cant be bothered to do any more... Gosh im so lazy :P)

Anyway I like other things too! Like... Music, Dance, fashion, Being Happy all the time.

I'm also very talkive at times, and could be seen as a little loud and dopey a bit, but I'm acturally pretty bright - Meaning smart, if ya didnt know that already - I just act silly to make people smile.

Well thats some information about me :) Again. Im to lazy to write any more. LOL.

Some Things I Enjoy:

Sarcastic Remarks to Get You Through the Day...

2. Do I look like a friggin' people person?

3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

8. You!... Off my planet!

9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my dogs/cats.

10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

11. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

12. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

13. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

14. A PBS mind in an MTV world.

15. Allow me to introduce my selves.

16. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

17. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

18. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

19. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

20. Are these your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

21. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

22. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

23. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

24. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

25. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.

26. A woman's favorite position is CEO.

27. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

28. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

29. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

30. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

31. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

32. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!

33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

34. Macho/Feminist Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. I plead contemporary insanity.

38. And which dwarf are you?

39. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

40. Meandering to a different drummer.

41. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

A Few Jokes:

--Tummy Tuck --
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck,etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in front of God and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years." God replies, "I didn't recognize you."

--The Parrot --
A lady is walking down the street to work and see's a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed.

The store manager appologized profusly and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?"

The bird said, "You know."

--Remember Good Ol' Fred --
Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol'

Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

Funny Similes:

S i m i l e s

Steal some of these similes for your next speech

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my mate Trev. But unlike Trev, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31pence-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock,
like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck reversing.

She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

They Make Me Smile Everytime I Read Them.