duchess-susan
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Joined 03-03-10, id: 2276420, Profile Updated: 05-05-11
Author has written 25 stories for Discworld, and Good Omens.
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Bits and Pieces by Featherz reviews
A few mini-fics that are too short and/or too unfinished to be standalones. Fourteenth fic: "Still not your housekeeper!"
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 4,097 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 1/10/2013 - Published: 6/22/2011 - John W., Sherlock H.
The Seduction of John S Willoughby by tepid sponge bath reviews
To stop a blackmailer, Sherlock Holmes decides to enter unfamiliar territory. But not before practicing on John Watson.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 44,541 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 439 - Updated: 12/10/2012 - Published: 5/9/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
The Lecturer in Quantum Operations by Ophelia Salt reviews
The Disc's second female wizard arrives to take a teaching post alongside Ponder Stibbons at Unseen University. Intrigue, adventure and possible romance ensue. "T" rating for later chapters. Warning: Contains generous amounts of quantum. IN PROGRESS
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,308 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/14/2012 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Ponder Stibbons
Fifty Scales of Crowley by Hekateras reviews
When the naive young temptation demon Anthony J. Crowley stumbles into the book collector Mr. Azira Fell, he finds him very attractive and deeply intimidating, especially due to the whole angel thing. Convinced that the angel only wants him for what he can do with his tongue, Crowley does his best to keep his feelings in check - until Mr. Fell's uncaring veneer begins to slip.
Good Omens - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,449 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/11/2012 - A. Crowley, Aziraphale - Complete
Five Times Socks Ruined Tony Stark's Day by buzzlikebee19 reviews
Five different situations where wearing socks made life difficult for Tony Stark
Ironman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,403 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/4/2012 - A. E. Stark/Tony, V. Potts/Pepper
text messages by x-Pick'n'Mix-x reviews
just some random text messages between the characters in Sherlock. chapters are all un related, unless it says otherwise :D please R&R. rated just in case.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 24,052 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 6/8/2011 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Sherlock H.
How Sherlock Got His Coat Back by Lucky Dice Kirby reviews
There are many strange things about Sherlock Holmes. John is beginning to find out that his coat is the least of them. ‹sherlockjohn, the marquis de carabas, irene adler›
Crossover - Neverwhere & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,920 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/4/2011 - John W. - Complete
Ladies' Guide To The Disc's Eligible Bachelors by Virtuella reviews
A handy guide for ladies seeking that little something Roundworld bachelors just can't provide.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,473 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/6/2011 - Complete
A Restless Pillow by CaffieneKitty reviews
John and Sherlock share a bed, or at least they try to. GEN, Conversation-format.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 820 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/11/2011 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Forgive Those Who Trespass by Moczo reviews
Crowley and Shadwell share Madame Tracy and Aziraphale for a week. God help us all. Rated T to be very safe.
Good Omens - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,521 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Shadwell, Madame Tracy/Marjorie Potts - Complete
Harry Potter I: Facebook News Feed Edition by BurstAndBloom91 reviews
The Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone, Facebook News Feed style!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 58,758 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 12/13/2010 - Published: 11/23/2010 - Complete
The Army Field Guide To by Hugger-Of-Trees reviews
A collection of drabbles related to the lighter and more fumble-y side of army life. Femslash warning: Polly/Mal containing an explosion of humorous innuendo with associated non-explicit adult themes .
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 6,022 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/3/2010 - Published: 9/8/2009 - Polly P. - Complete
Shatter by Wraithlike reviews
Ophelia could just stare at him, the spring to his autumn. But she knows that deep within him, something shatters through their love. There will always be splinters and shards remaining ... but Ophelia will brush them away, content.
Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 410 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/14/2010
Thicker Than Water by TMOHzone reviews
Just before his hanging, Carcer receives a visitor. A much-extended and altered version of an old drabble.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 961 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/11/2010 - Carcer - Complete
Falling in more ways than one by iamsusan reviews
The aftermath of Carpe Jugulum. Can Agnes and Vlad figure out whats going on between them? Will the Count suceed in opening his holiday villa to the public? How many people can Lacci kill with her Piano playing. Find out within...
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,099 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 9/28/2010 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Agnes, Vlad de M.
Bedroom Secrets by Ololon reviews
These are 6 drabbles featuring various characters exploring that the idea that we all do things that only our sleeping partners see. Canon pairings except for Vetinari/Drumknott . Characters: Sam Vimes, Adora, William de Worde, Carrot, Vetinari, Death.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Published: 9/8/2010 - Sam Vimes, Death - Complete
Of Patricianships and Corsetry by Estelle Tiniwiel reviews
The title pretty much says it all. Cautiously rated T for *very* mild mentions of adult themes.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 210 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 9/5/2010 - Vetinari - Complete
Come Dine With Sherlock and John by Emmylou reviews
Based on a prompt to have John as a contestant on the Channel 4 show Come Dine With Me. Chaos ensues. More plot than you would imagine. Hinted John/Sherlock. FINISHED.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,569 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 8/14/2010 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Cunning Artifice by Fanless reviews
In the Ankh-Morpork of a distant future, there lives a brilliant scientist and two men who are not all they seem. AU!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,163 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/25/2010 - Sam Vimes, Carcer
Family Business by Simply Prettyful reviews
Ever wondered if Moist Von Lipwig ever found out he was a father? What if the mother was dead? Thesilly takes after her dad alot. OC character: Thesilly Von Lipwig. T for safety.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,395 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/19/2010 - Moist von L.
Those Violent Boys by Fanless reviews
What they're up to, what they've done. Teatime & Carcer drabbles. Actual rating may vary between chapters. All sorts of allusions, including pairings. Newest: Carcer plays chess and wins — sort of.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 1,337 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/1/2010 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Carcer, Jonathan T.
A Running Story by She Who Shines reviews
A series of one-shots centered on Rincewind and his darn bad luck. Many thanks to duchess-susan for the title.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,577 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/24/2010 - Published: 5/20/2010 - Rincewind
Q&A by She Who Shines reviews
I've trapped the Hogfather characters and they are completely at our mercy. Drop a review asking questions of Susan, Death, or others, and I will force them to answer. Mwahaha. -This is inspired by a Phantom of the Opera Fanfic someone else wrote-
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,507 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/11/2010 - Published: 5/7/2010
Cheating Fate by She Who Shines reviews
When the gods get bored and make a bet, it results in the resurrection of a manic Assassin - Teatime, of course - , the birth of a mostly human, the befuddlement of Death, and one cranky Susan.-set several years after 'One Dangerous Game'-
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 25,095 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
One Dangerous Game by She Who Shines reviews
Hogswatch wasn't the FIRST time Susan met Teatime, even if she wanted it to be. Through a series of rounds, they played one dangerous game before. This story takes place after 'Soul Music' and before 'Hogfather'.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,786 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/1/2010 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
Feegles in Middle Earth part 2 by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
They're back, and causing more mayhem! Please R&R.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Rob Anybody, Elrond - Complete
Not Again by She Who Shines reviews
When Susan gets thrown back in time to the most eventful Hogswatch of her life, she must face the most challenging villain she ever has all over again, while Teatime has to bring her back-and avoid the Susan who has no idea who he is. Sequel to Literally.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,958 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/17/2010 - Published: 2/11/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T.
Literally by She Who Shines reviews
When the Unseen University becomes... well, unseen, it's up to Susan Sto-Helit to save the day. The problem is, the only person who can help her is Teatime's ghost's intended victim. Susan/Teatime; Kplus because of Teatime and possible romance later on
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,099 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
Feegles in Middle earth by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
As it says on the tin.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 223 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Complete
Ladies' Guide To Middleearth's Eligible Bachelors by Virtuella reviews
Does exactly what it says on the tin. Volume II now available - more bachelors, more chances! MEFA 2010 First Place.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,853 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 9/12/2009 - Aragorn - Complete
You Know You Read Discworld Books Too Much When: by BraveMustang reviews
Just what the title sounds like. Most likely, all of Terry Pratchett's fans have done some of these at one point or another.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,008 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/3/2009 - Published: 8/9/2009
Once Upon a Freakin' Time by Evadne reviews
The Death Eaters attempt to do bad things, but mostly just do things badly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 29,923 - Reviews: 1959 - Favs: 2,037 - Follows: 695 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2002 - Voldemort, Severus S.
The Sacred And The Profane by afrai reviews
Somewhere else the happy ending was different.
Good Omens - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,864 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/17/2005 - Published: 4/29/2002 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

To Rise And Fall reviews
Aziraphale falls; Crowley runs across town to find him, only to discover that sauntering downwards isn't the same for everyone. Slight angst.
Good Omens - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,360 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/2/2012 - A. Crowley, Aziraphale - Complete
Camaraderie Has Limits Too reviews
The Watch are sent on a management course. A residential course. A sequel to 'Comradeship Has Limits', but they can be read seperately. Rated extremely cautiously.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,787 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/5/2010 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Sam Vimes, Angua
Glad to be Grey or Miserable to be Miscellaneous? reviews
Nobby and Reg find themselves in each others company more and more. This is, I believe, the very first Nobby/Reg romance ever. Read before you flame.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,765 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 6/2/2010 - Nobby N., Reg S. - Complete
The Magpyr Conditioning reviews
Vlad and Lacrimosa grew up in difficult conditions. For vampires, that is.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 695 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Vlad de M., Lacrimosa de M.
An Alchemist's Dilemma reviews
Cassandra is back and learning just how dysfunctional unlife can get when you're a member of the Watch. Sequel to 'An Alchemist's Progress', but can be read seperately.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 12,072 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 5/13/2010 - Reg S., Angua - Complete
Vimes and the Vampiress reviews
What turned Vimes to drink? Here is my answer to that immortal question...
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,195 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Sam Vimes - Complete
Losing Faith reviews
Visit one-shot. Angsty. Reviews would be appreciated.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 506 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Complete
Pokers Are The Food Of Love reviews
Another Teatime/Susan fic.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,388 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/19/2010 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T.
A Broken Tale reviews
A series of drabbles for Teatime. Just something that happened when I started typing, really.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,598 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Jonathan T. - Complete
An Alchemist's Progress reviews
Cassandra Larimar is a vampire alchemist who gets a job in the Watch...and then Pan turns up again and the killings start.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 15 - Words: 8,761 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/11/2010 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Reg S., Angua - Complete
Theology reviews
Vimes, Carrot, Reg, Dorfl and Visit discuss religion and Dibbler sausages. One-shot.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 810 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Dorfl - Complete
Alterations and Spells reviews
Angua thinks of Carrot-angst-ridden, just a warning.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/7/2010 - Angua - Complete
The Discworld Dead reviews
Various dead and evil characters from the Disc find themselves stuck together in the afterlife. Don't expect a serious piece of fanfiction-just a flight of madness.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 521 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Reacher Gilt, Jonathan T.
Dreams reviews
Agnes keeps seeing Vlad in her dreams. Exactly how dangerous is a vampire with a plan?
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,901 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/27/2010 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Agnes, Vlad de M. - Complete
Gods and Pokers reviews
The gods take a lesson from Susan and Teatime and start fighting with pokers...and toasting forks. One-shot. Thanks to She Who Shines.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 952 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/25/2010 - Published: 4/24/2010 - The Lady, Fate - Complete
Comradeship Has Limits reviews
Nobby has caused a riot and now the Watch are trapped with only each other for company. So basically lots of Watchmen, Beti, and Vimes has a limited supply of cigars.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,418 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/25/2010 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Sam Vimes, Nobby N. - Complete
Inhumations Educations and EyeRollings reviews
A sequel to 'Pokers, Swords and Lifetimers', but can be read seperately.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,819 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
Whispers reviews
Vlad and Agnes again. A one-shot. He returns for her. We all know that's how 'Carpe Jugulum' should have ended.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 980 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Agnes, Vlad de M. - Complete
Pokers, Swords and Lifetimers reviews
Susan meets Teatime again, because of Death's good intentions. Then the Afterlife gets involved.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,144 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 3/19/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
Moonlight reviews
Vlad and Agnes again, a prequel to Lancre Nights.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 491 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Agnes, Vlad de M. - Complete
Belief reviews
If vampires can be repelled by faith then what about a focus of faith?
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 327 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Agnes - Complete
VeniViciVetinari reviews
Vetinari reflects on his relationships with Ankh-Morpork, Drumknott and Lady Margolotta
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 298 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Vetinari - Complete
Lancre Nights reviews
Vlad returns to Agnes. Rated with extreme caution, probably only K
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,595 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/8/2010 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Agnes, Vlad de M. - Complete
Yes Demon reviews
Crowley and Aziraphale meet afterwards. Something that just happened when I started typing.
Good Omens - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 754 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/7/2010 - A. Crowley, Aziraphale - Complete
The Dance reviews
What might have happened if Agnes had danced with Vlad.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 603 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Agnes, Vlad de M. - Complete
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