Author has written 1 story for Naruto, and Rosario + Vampire.
Age: Old enough to get drunk, die for my country and have sex... Not old enough to rent a car.
Sex: Male ( X ) Female ( _ ) Other ( _ ) "Yes please." ( X )
Location: *Dramatic music in background* Your heart...
Current Stories / Status:
Chasing Shadows: Ongoing. Chapter 6: 10% done
Profound / Chuckle Worthy Quotes:
"Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit." Elbert Hubbard.
"We're both of the same breed, after all ... motives for war are of no concern., , , , , , or No matter how pathetic the reason, it's enough to start a war." Pain/Nagato. (Naruto)
"Those who do not understand true pain can never understand true peace." Pain/Nagato. (Naruto)
"We are but men, drawn to act in the name of revenge we deem to be "justice". But when we call our vengeance "justice", it only breeds more revenge ... forging the first link in the chains of hatred." Pain/Nagato. (Naruto)
"You think you're the only ones who matter. You think you can put off death. But that peace made you foolish and thoughtless. If you kill someone, someone else will kill you... this hatred binds us together." Pain/Nagato. (Naruto)
"...Every human being relies on and is bounded by his knowledge and experience to live. This is what we call "reality". However, knowledge and experience are ambiguous, thus reality can become illusion. Is it not possible to think that, all human beings are living in their assumptions?" Uchiha Itachi. (Naruto)
"When a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred." Uchiha Madara. (Naruto)
"Those in the ninja world who break the rules and regulations are called filth, but those who don't care about their companions... are even lower than filth." Uchiha Obito. (Naruto)
"I don't want to conquer anything.. I just think that the guy with the most freedom in this whole ocean...is the Pirate King!" Monkey D. "Straw-hat" Luffy. (One Piece)
"Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just two sides holding different views." Squall Leonheart. (Final Fantasy VIII)
"No matter how dark the night, morning always comes, and our journey begins anew." Lulu. (Final Fantasy X)
"You should never avert your eyes from death, never look away from the lives you have taken. And you should never forget the people that you have killed, because I can assure you, they will never forget you." Solf J. Kimblee. (Fullmetal Alchemist)
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." Jack Handey.
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." Blaise Pascal.
"Walk softly but carry a big stick." Teddy Roosevelt.
"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." William James.
"The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Confuscious.
"There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
"Not all who wonder are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien.
"Destiny is what you are supposed to do in life. Fate is what kicks you in the ass to do it." Henry Miller.
"Many are called, but few get up." Oliver Herford.
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on to which it is poured." Mark Twain.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." C.S. Lewis.
"If you can't convince them, confuse them." Harry S. Truman.
"There has to be evil; so good can prove it's purity above it." Buddha.
"Great and good are seldom the same man." Winston Churchill.
What good fortune for governments that people do not think." Adolf Hitler. (Sad, but true... I'm looking at you sheeple)
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke.
"To be a sheep in a world of sheep is one thing; to be a sheep in a world of predators is something else, and if someone hides behind a label of a sheep due to cowardice while another has to take his place, holding the predators at bay, he is truly a coward." George Olsen.
"Stand strong through the storms of life, and the sun will always shine on you." RJ Richie.
"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." John Wayne.
"You can kill the dreamer but you can't kill the dream." Martin Luther King Jr.
"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." Indira Gandhi.
"Every nation, no matter how well intentioned it was at its inception, will become a tyranny through the fear, apathy and stupidity of it's citizens." Winston Churchill.
“Setting a good example is a far better way to spread ideals than through force of arms.” Ron Paul.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us." Ralph W. Emerson.
"Far greater is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt.
"I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life." Paulo Coelho.
"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all, I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." Agatha Christie.
“Champions arent made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them... a desire, a dream, a vision.” Muhammad Ali.
"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him." Ralph Waldo Emerson.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Nelson Mandela.
"Don't take life to seriously, because you'll never get out alive." Josh Shipp.
"Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it." John Maxwell.
"You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself to be." Lou Holtz.
"You may only be someone in the world, but to someone else, you may be the world."
"Anger breeds nothing but destruction, destruction of living things, objects and relationships. Anger is born from our frustration, frustration about things that happened or didn't happen. When frustration sets in, stay calm and you'll find the answers."
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anybody can start today and make a new end."
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
"You can start livin’, or you can start dyin’."
"Fear is something irremovable, but friendship is something irreplaceable."
"Everyday is a gift, thats why they call it the present."
"When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."
"Everything in the world is a gamble. Love is the biggest gamble of all because most of the time, you feel like you're winning, but it only takes once to loose everything."
"If I go back upon what I believe, who will I become?"
"As time flows onward everything in the world is constantly changing...nothing is eternal."
"Cheating: The Plan B of winners for over 2000 years."
"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much."
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Random Toughts/Facts From Me:
- So yeah, I've seen several other authors do something like this on their pages, and since I'm actually writing stuff now, I figured 'what the hell'. I'll slowly fill this in as things come to me.
- You will never see a truly sad ending in one of my stories. I've seen enough terrible things in real life, and I generally turn to reading to escape that kinda crap. Besides, I'm too much of a freakin softie. Now I'm not saying I might not ever do a bittersweet ending, those can sometimes have an even stronger impact than any happy ending ever could. If you've ever beat Red Dead Redemption, you may understand what I mean. I couldn't imagine a more fitting ending for that game's story.
- I'm actually dyslexic. Not really a severe case of it mind you, my brain just jumbles words around sometimes. It's actually a pain in the ass during writing, because I have to rewrite every sentence a couple times till it actually makes any damn sense. At least it kind of forces me to be more thorough than I probably normally would be...
- You know what I hate? Goddamn training chapters. Of all the years I've been reading fanfiction, I've never read a single one that I actually liked. There was like one that was tolerable in a Kenchi618 fic I once read, and that was only because he infused a lot of humor all throughout it. And I mean good humor, not that 'Let's get started with the tortur... err training!' bullshit... God I hate that particular joke. 90% of the time, if I see that the main focus of a chapter is to train up your characters, I'm gonna skim the hell over it.
- I've always felt too much information can be just as much of a deathblow to a story as too little. I've read stories that I really, really, wanted to get into because they were quality work, but I just couldn't because the ridiculous amount of asinine descriptions totally detracted from the overall experience. Oh, and don't throw in incredibly uncommon 'intelligent' words every chance you get, it doesn't make you seem smarter, it makes you seem like a jackass with a thesaurus.
- This is just my opinion, and some might make a compelling argument against this, but having the first chapter of your story be nothing but exposition is a absolutely terrible idea. The main point of your pilot chapter is to grab the readers attention and show them your ability to tell an interesting story. Having the chapter be nothing but setting up for what's to come is boring. Reading essentially the exact same process of setting up the story as every other fic under the sun, again and again, is torturous. Example: If the first chapter in your crossover is Naruto fighting Madara or Sasuke and how it leads to him 'dying' or being sucked up in a timespace portal, even if your the baddest mama-jama writer alive, I'm going to totally skip ahead to the part of your story that is actually a little different than the shit I've read literally hundreds of times before. Besides, I've learned rather quick from Chasing Shadows that people actually seem to dig having a bit of mystery in the air. Clarify the full story as you go, rather than in one torturous burst at the very beginning.
- This is gonna sound odd, but I've always thought of drama like a spice. Just enough added to the mix, and it can turn something good into something great, but too much and it will totally overpowers all the other flavors in the mix. I read a story once where they were talking seriously about a rape, and then a couple paragraphs later, they were in a 'humorous' situation. It was so jarring and out of place I couldn't even continue the story... By the way, this little rule doesn't apply if the story is a straight up drama from the get-go.
- What the fuck is everyone's problem with orange? Even long before Naruto 'the ninja wearing bright orange' came into the picture, people always seemed to give orange shit at every opportunity. Is it some psychological thing? Like red inciting anger... Does orange incite sensless rage and rampant stupidity? That argument about orange being bad for Naruto's stealth is a load of crap too. It is canon that he hid from freakin ANBU, the 'elites of the elites', while wearing his orange. Doesn't that kinda counter that particular bit blatant orange-racism?... Yes, wearing bright orange would likely be a profoundly bad idea for a real world ninja, but that doesn't really apply to a bunch of superhumans in an alternate reality, now does it? I also have to argue that tigers, a very orange animal, manage to sneak up and kill things all the damn time. If nature itself uses the color on one of it's deadliest hunters, then it can't be that stupid... Besides, It's certainly not like Naruto is the only one in the series wearing bright colors that should stand out. Hell, Kisame is a giant freakin fish person, if that doesn't stand out a mile away, I don't know what the fuck will! If it wasn't clear by this point, Orange happens to be my favorite color, so I say this to anyone who has a problem with orange; I'll see you in hell good sir.
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
1. Perfect? Perfection is boring. The flaws are what make life fun.
1. Friend you saw: Jacob.
1. Number: Seven, nine or thirteen.
1. Are you missing someone right now? Not really. Only people I would visit are my siblings, and they can get real annoying real fast.
1. Real name? Bilbo Baggins.
1. First best friend? Matt.
1. Eating? Some leftover chicken.
5. Plans for Today? Sleep. I'm a night owl.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
1. Shorter or taller? I'd rather not have her taller than me, but I'd also not like her too short, given short people instantly make me think of the tiny ass woman I call 'Mom'. In the end it wouldn't really matter though, I wouldn't let something as shallow as height really effect my opinion of someone.
HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Drank bubbles? Can't say that I have.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
1. Miracles? I think we make our miracles.
GUIDE TO AN EPIC NARUTO STORY (Heavy Sarcasm)
Step One: Naruto is being chased by an angry mob even though he's only three years old (barly old enough to wipe his own ass) and living alone for some reason.
Step Two: He trips and/or reaches a dead end (oh noooo's) and they procede to inflict grevous, crippling, and all around over exaggerated unsurvivable wounds.
Step Three: After ten minutes of stabbing and beating (Which miraculously avoided his vitals) someone comes in to inflict the the final blows at the crowds jeering.
Step Four: In a 'thrilling' and 'suspenseful' moment a giant war-hammer is swung down on Naruto, only to be stopped an inch from his head by token superhero #25.
Step Five: Token superhero #25 yells at crowd. "WHAT ARE DO DOING TO TO THIS POOR BOY?!," crowd replies. "KILLING THE DEMON!" or the like. Slaughter ensues.
Step Six: Sarutobi and an Anbu squad show up. (perfect timing) Hokage confronts token superhero #25. "WHO ARE YOU?!" hero responds. "I'm super awesome-man! (Relation to Naruto's parents optional) Now why are your villagers attacking this poor boy?"
Step Seven: The Hokage proceeds to break his own law and tells to complete strangers Narutos life story, much to their outrage.
Step Eight: Token superhero #25 says he's taking the boy away to train him. Sarutobi agrees immediately without arguement, but pleads for them to return for the Genins exams. #25 agrees. (The fact that he agreed to bring the kid back to a place that delivered a massive beating to a three year old didn't seem to bother him.)
Step Nine: Naruto wakes up after the ten minute conversation completely healed, energetic, and with enough brain damage to forgive the entire ordeal. (Apparently he's Jesus, filled with infinate forgiveness for the unforgivable)
Step Ten: They fill Naruto in on the details and he begs to be able to come back to be Hokage, (a three year old can comprehend that... how?) and the duo is off.
Step Eleven: Time skip. Naruto returns, covered in trench coats and pictures of foxes (throwing all stigmas to the wind).
Step Twelve: Meets Hokage and dishes out all his skills in painful detail (Throwing all ninja sense to the wind). Assigned to go to the academy, which happens to be having its exam that day.
Step Thirteen: Shows off dramatically for the test and remainder of story, pwning everyone but Orochimaru in the Forest of death.
Step Foreteen: Falls in love with Hinata?!
Props to Silent Master for his well thought out and reasoned rant (claps)
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