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Joined 03-10-10, id: 2284978, Profile Updated: 09-17-10
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Bold those that fit you!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST be a great cook

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff (just the former not the latter)
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY GRADUATION, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have many FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, so I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I DON'T LIKE to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I READ COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... Therefore, I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems


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The Education of Professor Cullen by sheviking reviews
College professor Edward Cullen is thoroughly annoyed by his student Ms. Swan. Everything about her bothers him, and he longs for the semester to be over. But what happens when he meets her one night when they aren't in school?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 10716 - Favs: 9,310 - Follows: 7,017 - Updated: 12/19/2014 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bird Girl by TheQueenWriter reviews
The small town girl who doesn't care about his celebrity status. Can Edward change Bella's mind?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 117,622 - Reviews: 2192 - Favs: 1,772 - Follows: 1,959 - Updated: 3/27/2014 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella's Lemonade Stand by Untamed Loner reviews
This is an anthology of sorts compiled of short stories and one-shots written by yours truly. All the stories within involve Bella in romantic entanglements with various partners/people. Mostly A/H with some supernatural coming later.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 25,595 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 12/8/2013 - Published: 1/4/2012 - Bella
To The Extreme by dontrun reviews
He is a cocky, arrogant dare devil living life on the edge as a Pro Motocross Racer. Bella is raising her young brother alone. She knows that getting involved with him isn't a good idea, her mind keeps telling her that she should stay away from him, bad boys are never a good idea. To bad her body doesn't agree. But what about her heart? *baby in story warning*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 86,505 - Reviews: 1266 - Favs: 1,782 - Follows: 1,334 - Updated: 8/10/2013 - Published: 6/20/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Blizzard by sheviking reviews
Bella is walking home during a blizzard and stumbles on a homeless man on the ground. Despite her better judgment she decides to save him from the cold, and the night turns into something she never expected. ON TEMP. HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 168,232 - Reviews: 9272 - Favs: 7,573 - Follows: 7,703 - Updated: 3/11/2013 - Published: 3/23/2010 - Bella, Edward
Surviving High School by Tardis19 reviews
All Bella Swan wants to do is survive high school, but when you're a klutz extraordinaire, have the hots for the popular guy and there's a cheerleader out to destroy you, surviving high school may be harder than it seems. AH/Teen Fic
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 181,872 - Reviews: 597 - Favs: 1,113 - Follows: 586 - Updated: 1/13/2013 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Homecoming by dontrun reviews
Bella's childhood spent with her mother has left her shy, socially isolated and scared of her own shadow. Her life is turned upside down when she is sent to live with the Dad and brother that she never knew she had. Can she overcome her past?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 37 - Words: 175,920 - Reviews: 3471 - Favs: 3,244 - Follows: 2,144 - Updated: 5/23/2012 - Published: 12/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Design For Life by Tardis19 reviews
He's a shy library clerk. She's an outspoken tattoo artist. They come from two different worlds, but they're both looking for the same thing. Can they survive the danger that is lurking nearby and have their happy ever after?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 150,583 - Reviews: 884 - Favs: 946 - Follows: 612 - Updated: 4/17/2012 - Published: 9/18/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Virgins & Villains by Emmamama88 reviews
Edward Masen, Hollywood heartthrob, meets Bella Swan, shy college student, and the romantic sparks fly. Can they both overcome traumatic pasts and trust issues to be together?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 87 - Words: 481,331 - Reviews: 5797 - Favs: 3,457 - Follows: 1,936 - Updated: 3/29/2012 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Loner by Nilla79 reviews
All Human. Edward Cullen was a loner, an outcast. He clearly hated everybody, including himself. He was not a nice person. So, why was I so drawn to him? And why did I get the crazy feeling he felt the same way?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 115 - Words: 379,793 - Reviews: 10542 - Favs: 4,800 - Follows: 2,837 - Updated: 7/6/2011 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Work in Progress by araeo reviews
AU/AH: Bella, Edward and the usual suspects are adults living in Seattle. They hit it off after a klutzy accident and E awakens B's ovaries, who never hesitate to voice their pervy opinion in B's head. Rated M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 281,655 - Reviews: 6547 - Favs: 5,827 - Follows: 3,522 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I need you now by Lover1420 reviews
Based off of the episode 'to kill a mocking girl.' what could have happened with Ezar and Aria if he had let her in. How will the rest fall into play? What will happen? Read and find out. Now complete
Pretty Little Liars - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,945 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 6/15/2011 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Aria M., Ezra F. - Complete
Amazing by sheviking reviews
Birthday one-shot for my beta, Melanie. Twenty-something, plus sized Bella is curvy and confident. Enter Edward, her high school crush, who she only ever loved from afar. A second chance for something amazing. Rated M for the usual reasons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,917 - Reviews: 701 - Favs: 1,790 - Follows: 423 - Published: 6/11/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Take This Heart by BookwormBaby2580 reviews
Bella's life is a constant choice between bad and worse until she moves to Forks and meets the one man who can ease her burdens. But trust doesn't always come easily, especially when life has taught you that you're safer on your own. M for abuse and sex.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 111 - Words: 395,836 - Reviews: 4318 - Favs: 1,765 - Follows: 783 - Updated: 5/16/2011 - Published: 10/9/2010 - Carlisle, Bella - Complete
That's Not How Your Dad Does It by Wasted Greens reviews
After finding she has no way of how to get home, recently single Bella starts to walk, only for someone to offer her a lift, but who is it? And what will this lead to? Lemon, B/C, Oneshot, AH/AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,758 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 58 - Published: 4/12/2011 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Juiced by Lemon Frosted Birthday Contest reviews
Harry has the world's best girlfriend. She will indulge him in anything, and sometimes it pays off for her too! Entry from Kimmydonn
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,450 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Goldilocks by Lemon Frosted Birthday Contest reviews
Rosalie finds an unlocked door and more than she ever expected on the other side. She doesn't find any too hard or soft though. They're all just right in the end! group sex
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,959 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Rosalie - Complete
Sex Baby Sex by Jenasys Loveless Lovecraft reviews
Straight up Jasper and Edward porn; complete with cock rings, dirty talk, phone sex and blindfolding- all in one lovely one-shot. Rated M for the obvious reasons. WARNING: May cause panties to explode.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,680 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 39 - Published: 6/5/2010 - [Edward, Jasper] - Complete
Birthday Pixie by Hopes-light reviews
Lemon - Rated R18 - its alice's birthday and its her party she can cry if she wants to... but how can Charlie help? sucky summary i know but check it out
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,122 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 29 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Alice, Charlie S. - Complete
Tuesday Night Poker by LauraACullen reviews
One-Shot "For the Love of Jasper" contest entry. Lifelong friends Jasper, Edward, and Emmett find themselves alone for their weekly poker game, which quickly evolves into something quite unexpected. All Human, Slash, Adult themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,170 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 67 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Kindergarten Love reviews
Edward and Bella have been best friends since they were both just five years old and have always been there for each other. What happens when two six year old built up crushes and a sixteen year old friendship turn into a make out session? AH OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,932 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 10/26/2010 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Edward, Bella