DNAPD
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Joined 03-15-10, id: 2289509, Profile Updated: 04-28-10
Author has written 1 story for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

This is a profile. If you're reading this, you're wasting time which you should be using to watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, because it's amazing and you're amazing. If you're not amazing, or you're so amazing that you've already watched every episode, you should check out what I've written and drop me a critique.

My work(s):

Title: The Fourth Step

Summary: Everyone knows the Waitress isn't into Charlie. At all. But all that's about to change.

Description: Basically wanted to see if I could make two people with such an antagonistic relationship (on the Waitress's part anyway) get together in a realistic manner, without making Charlie undergo a drastic personality change/makeover/Waitress suddenly deciding to give Charlie a chance just so he'll leave her alone. As such, it'll be fairly slow moving (not snail pace obviously, but slow nonetheless), with a gradual progression in their relationship (but definitely a progression, make no mistake), my biggest challenge is to somehow change their relationship dynamic without altering their fundamental personalities, but if it turns out the way I've got it planned out in my head, it'll work (hopefully). Charlie is still going to be the same loveably awkward and dimwitted (illiteracy is such a fun personality quirk to work with), morally... questionable, high strung, poor, pathetic loser that we all know and love, and the Waitress is going to be appropriately cold, dry and sarcastic (she'll warm up a little obviously, but that's not going to stop her being cutting and critical).

The essential plot element is: Charlie gives up on the Waitress. This stops him from trying so hard to force the relationship, and as a consequence, the relationship is given a chance to develop. That's the idea anyway. Shit happens along the way, it is the gang after all, but that's the central plot element.

Correct characterization is super important to me, so if you have any comments (and they are very much appreciated whether positive or negative), try to focus on that. I'm happy for you to point out any grammar/spelling errors (keep in mind that I like to think of the rules of grammar as more fluid than static, especially in a dialogue heavy piece of fiction such as this), but I'd like any critiques to address mainly characterisation and story telling elements. That said, any reviews at all are greatly appreciated.

Status: In progress. As of now, the first four chapters are up. Fifth one is done and sixth one is tentatively planned.

There aren't enough Sunny fics out there. Seriously. Get writing, or if you're too lazy to do that, get reviewing so other people will be inspired to write more!

PS: I'm happy to take requests for any Sunny oneshots (Anything chaptered is a bit much, but if you pitch (read: lie) well enough, you might convince me) you guys might want me to write, just give me a buzz. I don't really care who you want in it (I like challenges), or what you want to happen (barring anything that could get me arrested). Just tell me what characters you want in it, genre, and some kind of theme (or if you don't have a theme, that's fine, I'll make one up).


My policy on reviews

I concrit. Yeah, that's right. Unless you're a blatant troll, you can expect to find some sort of advice in my reviews. However, before you read them, there are a few major points that you need to understand to get the most out of my criticisms.

1. My reviews almost always sound negative.

This does not mean I hate you or your story. In fact, this should be what you expect from a good review. Obviously I'm going to be focusing on your flaws. I always assume your aim is to improve as a writer, not read meaningless ingratiating comments about how 'AWESOME11!' you are. If I feel you have done something very well, I will give you some cursory praise at best and move on. Not because I don't think it's worth mentioning, but because I don't think it's worthwhile mentioning. If you are clearly excellent at writing dialogue, I'll inevitably have nothing to say on how you can improve and in the end, that's what I want you to do. Improve. Take it as a compliment. If I don't mention something, you've done a good enough job that I don't have anything to criticise (or it's a minor issue that I have overlooked).

2. My word is not God. Except when it is.

My advice comes in two categories:

a) Things that MUST be changed.

b) Things that should be taken into consideration.

Category A refers to things like correct syntax, sentence structure and spelling, as well as obvious logical fallicies, plot holes and fail!characterisation. Basically things that you should have learnt in your secondary school education. When I say 'must', I mean 'must'. Change them. You are wrong. There are no exceptions. These flaws can almost always be solved by getting a good beta, and you'll probably find me suggesting that to you in every one of my reviews. If it's very severe, chances are I've suggested you take the story down and should re-write it. I am dead serious. I'm not trying to be mean. I just feel there are so many errors, or so little substance, that a complete re-write would be most beneficial.

Category Bs are most often stylistic choices, word choices and clarification related. In other words, subjective suggestions. These are, as mentioned, to be taken into consideration, but I don't expect you to agree with everything I've suggested. However, this doesn't mean dismiss them. I have considered them important enough to warrant mentioning in my review. This suggests that I am of the opinion that it is in your best interest to take heed. Obviously I can't control what advice you take and my suggestions aren't going to be perfect in any case, but I strongly urge you to mull them over seriously.

3. Summaries are not insignificant.

This is a definite pet peeve of mine. Too many times, I have almost overlooked a wonderfully written piece of work because of a mediocre summary. Your summary is important. Why? Because it's the first thing people read. If your introduction is your hook, your content is the line and your conclusion, the sinker; this is the bait. You need to lure in readers somehow, and the summary is the only way. Often, I will critique your summary more harshly than I do the entire piece of work, because it is so short (so I expect perfect English) and publically accessable. If your summary is even slightly mediocre, expect me to hound you.

My expectations for summaries are as follows:

a) Relevance. This speaks for itself, but I would like to clarify: by relevant, I mean to your plot. Not your review sluttiness or how this is your first fic.

b) Eye-catching and engaging. This does not mean ALL CAPS. This means, an insightful, or witty description of your story that would endear or intrigue me to your writing.

c) Perfect English. Not good English, perfect English. It's like two hundred characters, pull your socks up, God damn it.

d) Nothing Else. By this I mean: Nothing except a summary. Don't put 'R&R', 'FLAMZ GO DIE' or 'Dont like, dont read'. This is not the place, put it in an A/N if you wish, but not here. The only thing I would accept is a legitimate warning for material that may be regarded as offensive or unappealing to some audiences (e.g. MxM warnings). I could possibly let a character pairing indication slide, but there are much cleverer ways of including those in a summary than 'Pairing: Charlie/Waitress'.

In summary (ba dum pish): if you want readers, you need a good summary. Make it count.

4. My reviews are long.

Yes they are. And since I've taken the time to write you such a detailed review, I expect you to read it carefully. tl;dr? I will smack you, Fucktard. Again, it should be taken as a compliment. One of your readers cared enough about your writing skills to put serious effort into helping you improve.

5. I am not out to get you.

Seriously.

The Fourth Step reviews
Everyone knows the Waitress isn’t into Charlie. At all. But all that’s about to change.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,027 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/26/2010 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Charlie K., Waitress