Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter.
Something hilarious i realized: People can spontaneously combust, which means randomly burst into flames. Have no fear, it only happens when your temperature gets too high (which is why we want to bring down our fevers). Anyway, Phoenixes burst into flames when they have to die and be reborn. So, they spontaneously combust! So, next time in one of your stories when you need to write "Fawkes burst into flames," you can write "Fawkes spontaneously combusted," and people who realize the connection without reading my explanation, can laugh. cause it's kinda boring reading a whole explanation.
i cried watching this video... it was so scarily accurate! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFBzZfxkWUg&feature=player_embedded
link to my Tumblr:
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.(AKA. Drinking Buddies)
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost this
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
Either grab a writing utensil and a piece of paper or just remember your answers. Apparently Don't peek at the answers, because it ruins it completely D:
1) If you are strait write the first name of a person of the opposite sex that pops into you head. If your gay, write the name of the person of the same sex that pops into your head. If you bi, than write the name of the first person that pops into your head... (it has to be the first)
2) What is you favorite color out of red,black,blue,green,yellow?
3) Your first initial?
4) Your month of birth?
5) Which color do you like more,black or white?
6) Name a person of the same sex as yours.
7) Your favorite number?
8) Do you like California or Florida more?
9) Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10) Write down a wish(a realistic one)
ARE YOU DONE? IF SO SCROLL DOWN. (DON'T CHEAT...FOOL...)
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red-You are alert and you life is full of love.
Black-You are conservative and aggressive
Green-Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue-You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow-You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3.If you initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendship in your life.
L-R You try to live you life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4.If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you will fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last very long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
5.If you choose;
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you will have in your lifetime.
8. If you choose:
California: You like adventure
Florida: You are a laid back person
9.If you choose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and to you love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday.
I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen:
10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love the enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”
10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale:
10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:
10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?
1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen:
10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.
6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles
And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?
1.When he denies the above claims, respond with "That's not what Rosalie said!"
10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen:
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."
9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling
3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.
And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
10 ways to annoy Bella Swan:
10. Ask about Eric.
9. Ask about Mike.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.
10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale:
10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.
10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen:
10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”
6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.
4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.
And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black:
10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.
Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.
The Morse Code
Election - Results
A Decimal Point
Eleven Plus Two
Weird yet amusing Facts...
1.) Half of all Americans over the age of 55 have no teeth.
2.) You have no sense of smell when you are sleeping.
3.) In ancient Japan, public contests were held to see who could fart the loudest and longest!
4.) A sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour.
5.) The word 'gymnasium' comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means 'to exercise naked.'
6.) 28.1 of people pee in the pool!
7.) It is physically impossible to touch your elbow with your tongue
8.) Pearls melt in vinegar.
9.) Sales of Rolaids, Alka-Seltzer, and Tums jump 20 in December... (Gee I wonder why...)
10.) About 9 out 10 people have already tried to lick their elbow.
11.) 10 out of 10 people are currently laughing at their or others stupidity.
12.) 10 out of 10 are currently thinking about posting this in their profile too.
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
~When life give you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons
~I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then i thought I'd let your mom live one more day
~Karin so fat even Naruto don't believe it!
~Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.
~There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.
~Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
~Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.
~Be yourself. That's crazy enough.
~You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.
~Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.
~They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" i don't think you'd kill many people
~Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.
~I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.
~The trouble with real life is that there is no background music
~I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere
~Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.
~Forecast for tonight: darkness
~If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?
~I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
~Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
~How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?
~If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something
~Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.
~Hell is full of musical amateurs
~There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line
~I'm not random I just have many thoughts
~I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes
~I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
~ -sticks hand in electric box- CHIDORI!!
~If you had a life you would stop talking about mine
~We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
~Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking
~The below statement is true
The above statement is false
~Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.
~Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies
~Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.
~People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down stairs
~In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!
~Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.
~God must love stupid people...he made so many
~There is no great genius without a mixture of madness
~When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
~You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.
~Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.
~PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.
~Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much
~If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense
~One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
~When life gives you lemons make grape juice, lay back, and let the world wonder how you did it.
~I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!
~Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.
~I have a dream and in it, something eats you.
~Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.
~Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.
~Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical
~My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems
~If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!
~I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
~I met Nicole Richie!! No wait, that might've been a twig...
~Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.
~If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
~I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words
~Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!
~Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?
~You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.
~I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.
~I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.
~By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life
~I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday
~Hi! I'm human. What're you?
~Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?
~I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!
~Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.
~If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
~I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
~Wherever there is life there is love
~I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident
~Sometimes all we need are each other
~Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.
~Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet
~A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.
~Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?
~One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.
~When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.
~I wanted to send you something SEXY... but the mail man told me to get out of the mail box...
~I'm NOT SHORT!! ... I'm fun sized!
~Pixie sticks! Cause not every kid can afford crack!
~Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses!
~When you call us BITCHES we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID!
~Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CEILING!?
~Am I pissing you off-fa-fa?
~We are the people our parents warned us about!
~Have you ever wondered if your mom kissed you goodnight after giving your dad a blow job? YOU ARE NOW!!
~Someone told me its illegal to kill someone for pissing you off...crap...!
~I have the kind of friends where if my house was burning down, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen! (Yeah and they probably start it too..)
~RAWR!! That means I love you in dinosaur!
~Grant me the serenity to accept things I can not change... And the shovel to hide the bodies of those who piss me off...
~Its not that I'm not a “people person”... its just that I'm not a “stupid people person”.
~Lets play Simon Says! Simon Says... GO FUCK YOURSELF!!
~You and me are friends. You fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge... I'm gonna miss your dumb ass!
~I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a... aww who am I kidding!
~When a boy tells you to “Suck It!” Just smile and say “Sorry but my mother told me to never put SMALL things in my mouth!”
~If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?
~Some people are like slinkies... they're really good for nothing! But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs! ( )
~I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!
~I love this RETARD I call my BEST FRIEND!!
~I didn't hit you... I simply high-fived your face!
~Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?
~HELL- Where all the fun people end up!
~Ne the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says “Oh crap she's up!”
~Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid!
~They keep saying the right person will come along... I think a truck hit mine!
~It better to have loved and lost then to live with the PSYCHO the rest of your life!
~Only You!... can help me hide the bodies!
~I'm smiling cause I'm your sister, I'm laughing cause theres nothing you can do about it!
~When I die, I'm going to haunt the fuck out of you people!
Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Loving each other-
Laying below the stars-
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.
Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key unil a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra.
Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon
Don't look at me with that tone of voice!
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienal, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, Daughter of a Renegade, Littlewhisker, Patronus Charm, Duskgrowlthevampire, Wanna Bet On a Bear Hug, HarryPotterismyentirelife
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won't repost it?
Advice That Guys Should Try And Take...
When she acts shy- Say you love her
When she runs away from you- Chase her
When she puts your face near hers- Kiss her
When she kicks and punches- Hold her tight
When she is silent- She is thinking of how to say 'I love you'
When she ignores you- She wants all your attention
When she pulls away- Grab her by the waist and never let go
When you see her at her worst- Tell her she look beautiful
When she says nothing's wrong- A million things are going through her head
When she screams at you- Tell her you love her AND mean it
When you see her walking- Sneak up behind her, grab her by the waist and give her a kiss
When she is scared- Hold her and tell her everything is going to be all right cause you are there
When she looks like something is the matter- Kiss her and tell her not to worry
When she hold your hands-
Play with her fingers
When she stares at your mouth
When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks she’s stronger than you
Grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff
Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet
Ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you
Give her your attention
When she pulls away
Pull her back
When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared
When she steals your favourite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up
When she says that she likes you
SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!
When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret
Keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes
Don’t look away until she does
When she says it's over
She still wants you to be hers
When she reposts this bulletin
She wants you to read it
- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don’t believeit, talk with her
- Because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
- Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think it's stupid.
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes.
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
- Let her know she's important.
- Kiss her in the pouring rain.
"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" -Albert Einstein
"What is the most innocent place in any country? Is it not the insane asylum? These people drift through life truly innocent, unable to see into themselves at all." -Arthur Miller
"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." -Nora Ephron
"Sometimes it's to your advantage for people to think you're crazy" -Thelonious Monk
"If you want to increase your insanity, avoid the asylum" -Amy Cameron Farmer
If these apply to you or anyone you know, Copy and paste to your profile.
1 scary way to break up
You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...
You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.
You call your least favorite teacher Snape.
Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.
You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.
You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.
You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)
You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.
You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.
You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"
You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible
Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!
You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.
You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions
You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.
When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.
You yell into the "tellyfone."
You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".
Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.
You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).
You name all of your pets after HP characters.
You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.
You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.
You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.
You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving.
You know you're too obsessed with Harry Potter when:
1) You accidentally called your friend Ginny because she has red hair.
2) Instead of studying for an extra important exam, your reading HP.
3) Your Sims game has a whole neighborhood devoted to the wizarding world.
4) Your friends give you The Look when you say Harry.
5) Your sister thinks your really a witch in disguise.
5) You dress up as a HP character and practice wandless magic.
6) Your cell rings and you absentmindedly wave your pencil and say "Accio cell phone"
7) You fall out of your chair in class because your daydreaming about Harry Potter.
8) Your parents have banned Harry Potter books from your possession.
9) You scream whenever you see anything Harry Potter.
10) You screamed when you and a friend were at the mall and you saw a Harry Potter book countdown poster.
11) Your friend knows exactly what to get you for your birthday, every year- a HP poster.
12) You are rebelling against JK Rowling's pairings...in Social Studies.
13) You think your math teacher is a Death Eater.
14) When people ask the person your with what's wrong with you, they look at them pointedly and say "Don't ask"
15) You're actually reading this.
16) You have spent more than healthy time on Harry Potter sights.
17) You're convinced that your Hogwarts letter is late...and that Harry is distantly related to your uncle.
18) One of your stuffed animals is named Crookshanks.
19) You have worse symptoms than this list.
20) You are laughing right now, saying yes to every statement!
yea im one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls...forget a prince with a horse, i want a vampire with a Volvo.
bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isn't with us anymore.
Edward Cullen: the 107 year old virgin.
Edward can bust my headboard, bite my pillows, and bruise my body any day!
Twilight is like crack, only better!
fall down again bella?
so did you stab edward cullen with a pencil or what?
I got bit by Edward an i liked it.
I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!
twilight; the reason girl across the world are suddenly and madly in love with vampires.
whenever i get happy or calm all of a sudden i look around for jasper.
Team edward cause jacob doesn't sparkle.
Today was a good day. I saw two silver Volvos on the highway.
dearest Edward, dammit why aren't you real!
i have trouble admitting edward cullen's a fictional character.
do that again and ill give you a papercut in front of Jasper.
My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!
i am a twilightaholic.
Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone (Alice and Jasper) when asked if they could beat wizards:
Way to know you are obsessed with Twilght!
You start eating ‘Bella’s’ food.
When your maths teacher says your gonna lear trig you look at your friend and say ‘TRIG’ - Ditto Biology
You have twilightous, a disease that makes you addictied to twilight
When you go to the doctor’s you tell your mom that you want a different doctor. When she asks why you say ‘Cos’ his name’s not Carlisle, he doesn’t have a wife called esme, or adopt any children and he’s NOT A VAMPIRE’
When you watch hospital programs and someone is dying you scream ‘CARLISLE SAVE THEM!’
You have the whole official twilight soundtrack on your iPod/ MP3
You have read loads of these lists...And reviewed them...And realized that they were pretty much all true
Twilight has brought you and your best friend so much closer
You growl a lot more...And have learned how to pounce
You insult your brother/ sister by saying there a werewolf/vampire (depending on what you are)...And by saying they smell like werewolf/ vampire
You insult your friend by saying she’s a dog...And she growls at you
You hate the fact that you have to wait a year for New Moon...But in a way don’t want to see it...Cos’ your gonna cry SOOOO much...When you told your friend she laughed at you...Cos’ she’s team Jacob and said it was her movie
You have pictures of the twilight boys around your room
When you did a geography project you wanted Kellan Lutz to be your sponser...But your stupid friends said no =(
You go on fan-fiction like everyday to see if the twilight story’s you have subscribed to have any updates...And get sad when they don’t
You looked for Wuthering Heights in you library...And got sad when they didn’t have it...But are now happy cos’ you found it today =)
When you saw the film ‘The Lost Boys’ you kept saying ‘Keh soo stereotypical!’
You were so happy when they announced that they were gonna keep Taylor Lautner as Jacob...In fact you screamed
You can relate ANYTHING to twilight
Whenever you see/find glitter you pour it over yourself...And everyone else
I went on google images today and searched the quileute pack. There was a picture of Vanessa Hugens on the first page. This deeply disturbed me.
When you were in history and saw a husky on a video you and your friend went ‘IT’S JACOB!’
When someone says vampires and werewolves aren’t real, you shout at them and give them a lecture
You leave your window open for Edward at night
If you ever get a dog you know your gonna call it Jacob, Quil, Embry, Seth etc…
You search EVERYWHERE for silver Volvo’s or any of the other cars in twilight...And told your dad you want a yellow Porsche for your 18th birthday...And he laughed at you...And you sulked for days
You want to buy contacts in the color of: butterscotch or red
Apple’s are now your favorite fruit...And whenever you have one you hold it the twilight way
On your bebo, facebook or whatever you put your location as Forks...Or Isle Esme...Or La Push
You and your friend want to go to twilight college...And if one doesn’t exist…well it should...And if you did got there you would totally get A in like EVERY area
You wrote on your science work Breanna Grayce Cullen (or your name lol)
When you watched P.S. I love you, you screamed at the women cos’ one of her job options was vampire slayer
You think van helsing is Gay!...And he obviously never met Edward Cullen
You got jealous of your friends mom because she read twilight but your mom refuses...Cos she knows how obsessed you are...And refers to twilight as ‘That vampire thing’
When your in the car and your parent’s are driving you say ‘Why are we going so slow’...And they look at you weirdly cos’ there going at 70MPH
You think they could have cast bella better...By picking you!
You have random conversations by yourself with the twilight characters...And have to admit that they do give a good conversation...And when you tell your mom she laughs at you...Ditto with the rest of your family.
The Rules of Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin
32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
36) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous
37) I will not lick Trevor
38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey"
39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
LIST OF A HUNDRED POINTLESS STUPID THINGS PEOPLE DO! (Things I've done are underlined :))
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
Girls Don't Realize These Things
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
I'm not a perfect girl.
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress.
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math.
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST not be able to go out.
I have BLOND HAIR, so I MUST be easy.
I WEAR A SKIRT SOMETIMES, so I MUST be a girly-girl.
I am DIFFERENT, so I MUST be a freak.
I wear BRIGHT COLORS, so I MUST be a prep.
I LOVE TO READ, so I MUST be a geek.
I don’t TALK IN CLASS so I MUST have no friends.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
If you've ever wished you could go into a book/the TV and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've started having dreams featuring fictional characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.
To Every Girl:
To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again, because she has been HURT too many times or so badly.
To every girl that has been cheated on, because she's not a slut who gives it up to any guy.
To every girl that dresses cute, not skanky.
To every girl who wants to be called beautiful, not hot.
To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.
To every girl who gets her heart broken, because he chose that bitch instead.
To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.
To every girl who would just once like to be treated like a princess.
To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.
To every girl that won't get down on her knees open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.
To every girl that just wants to hold hands.
To every girl that kisses him with meaning.
To every girl who just wishes he cared more.
To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.
To every girl who just wants him to call.
To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.
To every girl that just wants to cuddle.
To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without having sex.
To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.
To every girl that thought "maybe this one could be the one."
To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually doesn't think it is funny.
To every girl who is just looking for that one and only. and is having a rough time along the way.
To every girl that doesn't want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.
To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.
To every girl who doesn't just want to be another pretty face.
To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.
To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face. never again
To every girl that has faith that "tomorrow will be a better day." And it will be.
If you are a nice girl put this on you profile under the title : "To every girl."
If you are a guy that thinks every girl should try to think about even a few of these things repost it as "I am looking for this girl" or if u have this girl put this on you profile under the title " I have this girl"
And if you can, add another line!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for a vampire or two.
Oh, they're over the rainbow. Ya know, way up high? (After someone asks you where something is)
Get over it.
Be insane... because well-behaved girls never made history.
Caution: water on road during rain.
Dementors: Turning people emo since 370 B.C
Yes, I know I am random, but you have to understand - salad.
No, the forks will fall with the spoons... it is the SPORK'S era now!
Always look for the bare necessities, and then sing the song.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
Duct tape is silver, but silence is golden. Are you catching my drift?
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
I can resist everything except temptation.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
We all know or knew someone like this!!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
there were 2 girls named Sarah and Jane
They were looking through peoples
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that i'm looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesn't make any sense, how?
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time Sarah was wearing high
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man you're starting to scare the living sh!t out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldn't want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean that's what you
They were in shock.
Jane said "Holy crap man just block him
Sarah replied "Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldn't really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, you're alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think I'm going to leave now because you're freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
Sarah and Jane were really
Jane said "Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone."
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden Jane had to go to the bathroom.She told Sarah, and left the room.
Ten minutes later Sarah noticed that her friend was
If you do not repost this in the next two
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?
Repost or you are going to die.
When it rains on my parade, I bust out my slip n’ slide.
'Liar, liar, pants on fire' is such a crude insult. It's rough, and trashy. But, 'Teller of untruths, your trousers have combusted', is so much more sophisticated, don't you think?
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
In a world full of cheerios, be a fruit loop.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
I ran with scissors, and lived!
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS!!!
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.
Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run. He HATES that.
I hear voices in my head. But that’s alright. Most of them are pretty nice.
The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.
I run with scissors….it makes me feel dangerous.
Come to the Dark Side. We have cookies.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every second of it.
Procrastinators will rule the world... Tomorrow!
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.
I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
Some see the glass half empty, some see it half full. Me? I just want to know who’s been drinking my soda!!!
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
Of course I’m out of mind! It’s dark and scary in there!
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I’m an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
If at first you don’t succeed- skydiving isn’t for you.
Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
Normal people scare me….but not as much as I scare them.
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it is usually an oncoming train.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
What is this “normal” you speak of? Stay away I don’t want to catch your “normal”!
Pssh. Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.
I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you’re up to.
Always take the time to smell the roses but remember sooner or later you’re gonna inhale a bee.
I never repeat myself, so pay close attention the first time, because I never repeat myself.
I’d explain it to you but your brain would explode.
When all else fails bring out the duct tape.
I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
I don't need your attitude. I got one of my own.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
I see regular people! Run for your lives!
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
Normal people scare me. A lot.
I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
I think they named oranges before they named carrots. "Hey, what are these?" "They're Orange." "What about these?" "Ah Shoot!"
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight.
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, I killed him with an AK-47. Common sense speaking here. Wait. What? You're not supposed to do that? You're lying.
I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die.
You can slam a revolving door... into someone you don't like.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Why can pizza get to your house faster then an ambulance?
Why are they called apartments when they all stick together?
Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon!
The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and don’t let it find me.
There’s nothing better than a good friend except a good friend with chocolate!
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless Fun
I’m bored…run for your sanity.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
Life is life a corndog. I just haven’t figured out why yet.
When life hands you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how.
When life gives you lemons, squirt it in life’s eye and see how much life likes lemons then.
Don’t walk in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls or off the occasional cliff.
Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary.
Never turn your back on someone, they just might stab it.
The walls we build around us
Are they to protect us from the demons outside?
Or are they to keep sealed the demons already within ourselves?
To isolate our hearts and thus turn them to solid ice
How we scream in pain when the light warms our hearts
Do we fear to feel the pain of loving again?
Or do we fear hurting the ones who love us?
We turn our eyes away from the windows to our souls
Do we fear to look inside ourselves and be forced to see our demons?
To face what we have been hiding from...
The people from your past will always be a part of who you are now. Trying to forget them is useless. There is no reason or sense in letting their memories go.
Be careful of your enemy once and of your friend a thousand times, for a double crossing friend knows more evil.
A kiss blown is a kiss wasted... the only real kind is a kiss tasted.
Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
One story has to its end- but only so the next one can begin. The future is still full of uneasy and unanswered questions so let’s continue our journey to our answers!
Destroy is such a strong word! I prefer ‘redecorated for free’.
Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. Your best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying 'That was freakin’ awesome!'
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
No one is a virgin, the world screws us all.
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends; if they are okay, you're it.
When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the hell you did it.
I'm an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!
Smile because it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
I want a guy who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me. Hold my hand in the line at the mall and make all the other girls jealous. Someone who would sing to me at random moments. Who would let me sleep on their chest. A boy who would get mad at someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me. I want someone who would call me three times a day if they went away. Someone who would let me gossip to him and he would just smile and agree with everything I had to say. He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then kiss me a million times. Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh. He would take me to the park and put his arms around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. He would tell all his friends about me and smile when he did it. And we’d make out in the pouring rain. He would never be afraid to say, “I love you,” in front of all of his friends, and we’d argue about silly things and then make up. I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Year’s Eve and count stars with me. Who would stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner or watch movies under the same blanket. Someone who would tell me I’m beautiful, but not too often. Who would make me laugh like no one else could. I want a guy who would give his hoodie to me and snuggle up next to me when it’s cold. A boy who would come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist and whisper “You look beautiful today.“ But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never break my heart.
If you still believe in fairy tales & want one of your own, copy and paste this to your profile.
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
On Rock, Paper, Scissors I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shoot, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: 16 May 2003 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was. P.S. Sure is hot down here!
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their duff to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk 5 feet to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here??
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmemories, Misfit Band Geek, Inuyashagrl101, Yamahato Yokimoko-san, Wind797, Darkmanu,Mira94, spy master123, livingintheclouds, HarryPotterismyenirelife
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, grim's-little-girl, Kuro Fenikkusu, Flyboy254, Flame Swordsman, HarryPotterismyentirelife
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Sparrowflight, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne, Ceata, Mira94, livingintheclouds, HarryPotterismyenirelife
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, xshoppingshortiex, AlexRussofan, Twilighting.Ensures, Rosalie Sawyer, Angel JJK, HarryPotterismyentirelife
╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
Eddie Izzard: If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
Eddie: Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. "In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran."
Eddie: If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death.
Eddie: I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself. It’s the end of your life.
Eddie: What shall we call our son so he does not get the shit kicked out of him at school? We shall call him Englebert Humperdink! Yes, that'll work.
Eddie: We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
Eddie: The National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, uh, people do." But I think, I think the gun helps. You know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie: My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper. I want to follow in their footsteps. And their footsteps were like this. (Runs screaming) AAAAAAAH! I'm covered in beeeeees!
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.
Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever busted a move or burst into song for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think rap is the most awful thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are strangely obsessed with these copy-paste things, copy and past this into your profile.
If you have ever started laughing uncontrollably, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have a fanfiction account, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you ran down an "Up" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up stairs, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a stair rail and hit your head on the stairs, copy this onto your profile..
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.
98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Oh the ironie...
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
22 Things to do in an Elevator
One for Girls!
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Went to a party Mom...
I went to a party,
Read this and if you and if you don't cry, or at least feel emotion, there's something wrong with you
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
but without all the red and gold crap,
In Remembrance to Fred Weasley,
In Remembrance to Dobby,
In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,
In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,
In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,
In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,
In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,
In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,
In Remembrance to Hedwig,
If you cried while reading this (like i did) copy and paste this. If you didn't, do it anyway for those who look at your profile and copy and this stuff.
List your ten favourite Twilight Characters.
Have you read a 5/10 fic before?
A Quill/Jasper fanfic? Uh... WRONG, SO WRONG
Do you think 3 is hot? How hot?
I think Seth is super hot! He is a werewolf after all...
What do you think would happen if 6 got 1 pregnant?
If Bella got Emmett pregnant? Seriously? HE'S A DUDE!
Do you recall any good fics about 9?
There would be heaps about Esme! She's so adorable, and she has an interesting backstory.
Would 7 and 2 make a good couple?
Edward/Alice? Definitely!! They would be great together, if they didn't have Jasper and Bella of course...and if they weren't siblings...
What is a better couple? 4 and 8 or 4 and 9?
Angela/Carlisle or Angela/Esme? I would have to say Angela/Carlisle but even then it's a little weird.
What would happen if 7 discovered 3 and 8 in a secret relationship?
If Edward discovered Seth and Carlisle in a relationship? That would be (again) WRONG and awkward on so many levels... plus, EW!
Make a twenty word summary for a 2 and 6 fic.
Bella and Alice are angry with their husbands, so they punish them by not letting them get sex for awhile.
Is there such thing as a romantic fluff story for 4 and 10?
A fluff for Angela/Jasper? Not that I know of, but people can come up with some weird combinations...
Suggest a title for a 1 and 5 hurt/comfort fic.
Emmett/Quil hurt/comfort "Even Men Can Be Weirder Than Normal"
What kind of plot would you use for 4 and 1?
Angela is sick of being the quiet, invisible girl and enlists playboy Emmett Cullen's help in getting noticed.
Does anyone on your friends list read 7 and 9 slash?
Edward/Esme? No, can say that they do...that would be just strange...and again with the WRONG
RACISM IS WRONG!
Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message.
"Power doesn't always make a monster, people do."
A man can smile, and smile, and be a villain. Shakespeare
If wishes were fishes we'd all live in the sea.
Normality is relative, and every one is insane to some one else's view of normal.
Being normal is vastly overrated! - Aggie Cromwell in Halloweentown
Professionals are predictable; it’s the amateurs that are dangerous.
Even the wise cannot see all ends.
Man is many things, but he is not rational.
A man once said, ”Genius is not being very smart, genius is thinking different from others.”
Man’s purpose is what he makes it to be. Scientists can argue over the facts all they want, but it’s always your choice on what you want your purpose to be, at one point or another in your life.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
If you cried during/after reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy this to your profile
If you're in denial over Tonks and Lupins death's copy and paste this into your profile.
If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Harry/Hermione shippers are delusional (especially if they have read books 4-7, and still believe in that pairing), copy this into your profile.
If you think that Hermione/Snape shippers are cuckoo for Coca Puffs and absolutely disgusting, copy this onto your profile
If you cried when Fred Weasley died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile.
If you cried when Dobby died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), copy and paste this into your profile
If you want J.K.R. to make a series about the Marauders, copy this into your profile.
If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.
If you make random Harry Potter references to your friends to see if they get them (they never do) put this in your profile.
If you love the Marauders AND think they are THE best, copy this into your profile.
If you liked Snape after Deathy Hallows copy and paste this in your profile.
If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Tonks shipper and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this
If you think Remus Lupin deserves more cuddles than Jacob Black, copy this to your profile.
If someone asks you what you want for your birthday, and you reply, "An owl, so we can keep in touch when I leave for Hogwarts!" copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you wanted to punch Remus Lupin in the gut for thinking that he was "too old" for Tonks, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you agree that Tonks is a way better nickname than Dora (as in Nymphadora), copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you agree Pansy Parkinson should be sent to a Dog Kennel, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you hate it when you stumble across a Draco X Harry slash, copy and paste this to your profile.
OMG i just realized something at 5:39 on Monday, May 10,2010! Edward AND Harry both have emerald eyes!(well, b4 Edward was a vamp anyway) isn't it sad that it took me so long to realizes this since i read the Twilight series in August last year(multiple times) and Harry Potter i started reading two years ago(multiple times).
if you hate Bumbles, PM me telling me so and you can be part of the "I Hate Dumbledore, The Manipulative Old CODGER!" group. members listed here. sadly, i don't have any yet. plz join!
I Hate Dumbledore, The Manipulative Old CODGER! group list
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you think being normal is actually weird, copy&paste this onto your profile!
The Sorting Hat says that I belong in Hufflepuff!
Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot, and treat them just the same."
Hufflepuff students are friendly, fair-minded, modest, and hard-working. A well-known member was Cedric Diggory, who represented Hogwarts in the most recent Triwizard Tournament.
Take the most scientific Harry Potter Quiz ever created.
CATCHPHRASE TIME!! Ron's: Bloody hell. & Are you MENTAL? Hermione's: I've got to go to the library! Harry's: Er.
Suggestions for others may be PM'd to me. Don't be shy if you've got ideas!
Check this out...
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
Things i shouldn't (minus the not) do at Hogwarts: "Refer to Neville Longbottom as the Cowardly Lion, Ron Weasley as the Scarecrow, Draco Malfoy as the Tin Man, Hermione Granger as Dorothy, Dumbledore as the Wizard of Oz, Professor McGonagall as the Good Witch of the North, and Professor Umbridge as the Wicked Witch of the West."
Suggestions for others may be PM'd to me. Don't be shy if you've got ideas!
Here a reason why you should think before you speak -
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
Read this and if you and if you don't cry there's something wrong with you.
A Dads Poem
Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. one by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. "Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he was a fireman and died just this past year when airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother’s amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.
‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.
Take the time...to live and love. Until eternity. May you be blessed.
"if at first you don't succeed, try walking around the brick wall."
"I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." ~ Anonymous
"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door..."
"You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor."
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
"Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?"
"You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder."
The difference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else."
"Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary."
A repair shop: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
The Winner of the Most Funny Story I've Ever Read is...
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
“So there are 3 tomatoes. A mother, father and a baby,” Harry started.
“Tomatoes don’t reproduce like that,” Ron said, not getting it.
“It’s a joke Ron…okay so they are going for a hike in the woods and the baby starts to fall behind,” he continues. Everyone is casually listening except Ron who is listening intently for the joke part.
“So the dad tomato runs and squashes the baby and says KETCHUP!” Harry starts to laugh. Hermione looks at him.
“That’s barbaric. How could a dad kill his son?” She says. Ginny laughs at how stupid the joke was and after about 5 minutes Ron starts to laugh.
“What are you laughing at Ron?” Harry asks.
“I get it!” Ron says. The whole group of people around him start to laugh. “What? What’s so funny?” Ron asked confused.
“Nothing Ronald.” Hermione said through muffled giggles.
NOTE: NOT MINE! i found it on Thereareonlythreemarauders profile. i don't know if it comes from one of her stories or not, but whatever. just thought i'd give credit! ;)
I have seen the first three movies of the Twilight Saga, and am anxiously awaiting Breaking Dawn, which has been split in 2 parts. GRRR! i have also seen every single HP, including the awesome part one of DH.
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!
In HP and the DH movie part one, i cried even before the title popped up cuz
of Hermione Obliviating her parents. i didn't cry in the books cuz i was like 'eh'
but seeing it happen just made it so much worse! i laughed later on when
everyone drank the Harry Potter Polyjuice XD but then i cried again when
Hedwig got killed. at the end of the movie i cried cuz Dobby died, and they
didn't even show the tombstone!!! D: of course, they also cut out a lot of
the information that was in the book that was needed. i hate the person
that directed this HP movie. he was an idiot. he doesn't get what
we HP fans have to see in the movie to be satisfied that it's correct. now, part 2.
WHY WHY WHY WHY?! ohmigosh i came SO close tothrowing up when Severus
kept hitting the window. i was bawling my head off from the moment ol' Tommy
boy told Lucius to bring Severus. i didn't stop crying until half-hour after i got home.
seeing Remus and Tonks and Fred just laying on the ground all dead... anyway, the
dragon scene was awesome! and i LOVE the way Bellabitch (Bellatrix) died... *feels
malicious* and when Ron FINALLY got off his arse and kissed Hermione... i was
okay i'm done with my spoiler/rant :)
Congratulations on reaching the end of extremely long profile!