jbiebs-tlautner
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Joined 03-18-10, id: 2293573, Profile Updated: 07-16-10
Author has written 1 story for X-overs.

i'm not a good writer, i knoww! but please, don't be mean about the criticism. i'm more than willing to hear what yu have to say on how i could make myself a better writer, just don't be mean about it. :D

me: Jake, yu've just been girlified.

jake: ahaahah, what if there was a store name girlified and yu went in a dude with yur pants all saggin and yu went through this vertex thing and yu instantly grew boobs, yu lose yur dick, and yur butt enlarges? and then yu walk out and yur boobs are like deflating and yu start hanging again!


BOLD ones are me

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. (cliche much?)
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. ( I support all love, any shape, size and form)
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (I don't think anyone deserves to go to hell besides hitler.)

I'm RELIGIOUS (I prefer the term spiritual), so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. (funny, im not white?)
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. (alcohol is disgusting)
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. (only sometimes!)
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. (i just think they're comfy)
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. (to dark for me, i like bright colors.)
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". (lmao!)
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (dude, I'm 12.)
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.(dyed the ends blue, green, and pink before :D)
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. (i just wanna do that little thing with the stick thing on disney channel)
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. (baahaahahaa! they're not even bangable. they're just pervs.)
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a lesbian. (no, i'm only for guys.)
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (??.)
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. (sadly, i am.)
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO. (i support, but i'm not gay.)
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG ASS.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. (suure?)
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (but i am black, and i do love fried chicken and kool aid.)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (a girl's gotta eat)
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (haha, no i'm just waiting for guys to actually mature.)
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff. (lmao, can't skate for my life. i can rollerblade!)
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. (one of my best friends is a lesbian.)
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. (do you mean black and white?)
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. (isn't he everything?)
I'm MORMON so I MUST have seven wives.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve (pretty much.)
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon. (pineapples is where it's at)
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. (never in my life, but i do have a loooot of friends i wouldn't trade for the world.)
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. ( i have one ;)
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. (pretty much do.)
I HANG OUT with teenage DRINKERS AND SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (i don't think little of someone unless they try to put other people down.)
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be a controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. (no i just don't like getting blamed.)
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (only justin bieber is stalker approved.)
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (couldn't hurt a fly..)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (lol, nope.)
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (aren't we all if we're on here?)
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. (justin bieber!:D)
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. (funny how beaver is there and his last name is bieber :D)
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. (not really.)
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. (i'm def. not a loser i talk to like everyone.)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippie. (my mom calls me her earth child.)
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber- sex. (lol no! i just talk to my friends.)
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion (completely against it. either adoption or keep it.)
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (lol nope, i gottts lotss of friends.)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. (wtf?)
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY., so

I’m a PERSON I MUST be LABELED (uhhh, okay?)
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. (all sweedens aren't white?)
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. (hahaa, noo, it's just funny when yu catch someone.)
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. (no, boys just need to mature)
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. (actually i saved her life.)
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. (can't help being sensitive.)
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist. (i am a perfectionist, just not over-controlling.)
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake. (no! mistakes are part of life. without them i wouldn't be who i am today.)
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. (uhhh, okay?)

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you! 90/100 apply to me.

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking (happened like 5 minutes ago.)
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door.
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else.

25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it.

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke.
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer.
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan.
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk.
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it.

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside.
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else.
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property.
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot.
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on.
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in.
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard.
39. Walked into a pole.
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident.
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house.
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on.
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small.

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it.
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it.
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up.
48. Have poked yourself in the eye.
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on.
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair. (
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test.
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil.
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it.
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were.
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on.
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it.
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny.
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa.
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it.
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence.
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person.
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side.
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions.
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong.
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it.
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught.
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face.
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb.
73. Ran into a door jam.
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid.
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it.
76. Have purposely licked playground sand.
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band.
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't.
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people.
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out.
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off.
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again.
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about.
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair.
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone.
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird.
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people.
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria.
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil.
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them.
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper.
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours.
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story.
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs.
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before.
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

I never realized how stupid I was...

My Sound Track for my life. You can do this too! Put an iPod, or anything that has music, on shuffle and see which songs are selected for your soundtrack!

Opening Credits:Hey Daddy by Usher (uhh, kay?)

Waking Up: Do You Remember by Jay Sean (that doesn't make sense)

First Day Of School:One Time by Justin Bieber (hey! good song that doesnt really fit..)

Falling In Love: Never Let You Go by Justin Bieber (kindaa)

Fighting: I Invented Sex by Trey Songs (make up sex?)

Breaking Up:Here We Go Again by Demi Lovato (that could work)

Driving:Fireflies by Owl City (what does driving have to do with a movie ?.)

Flashback: No Air (depends on the flashback.)

Mental Breakdown: Forever and Always by Taylor Swift (makes no sense at all.)

Getting Back Together:Common Denominator by Justin Bieber (woot woot!.)

Prom Night:Bigger by Justin Bieber (i guess so)

Wedding:First Dance by Justin Bieber (that'd be more of a prom song.)

Birth Of Child: One Time (My Heart Edition) (possibly.)

Final Battle:Down To Earth by Justin Bieber (??)

Death Scene:Solo by Iyaz (awww! that works if the scene is about a guy missing me! :)

Funeral:Like I Always Do by Drew Ryan Scott (aww..)

End Credits:So Sick by Neyo (ehhh, maybe.)

YOUR GUY SIDE: (the things in bold is what I chose)

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
dogs are better than cats
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck (they just end up depressing me :(
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 10 :)

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars
You were in gymnastics/dance?

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like. (Somtimes...)
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

total: 19 (:

completelyy girllly.

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