Author has written 6 stories for Loonatics Unleashed, Looney Tunes, Animaniacs, Super Robot Monkey Team, and Sonic the Hedgehog.
My nickname is Cori so you can call me that if you want. I love practically everything Looney Tunes, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Animaniacs, Sonic and Invader Zim (Except for the slash pairings. I have absolutely nothing against people like that, but I believe taking that into the cartoon world is just...weird. Again, nothing against them) I am proud to be an American citizen and Christian, though again, I have nothing against those with other beliefs.
Sorry about the apolagies over everything, I just don't want to offend anyone!!
YOUR REAL NAME:
Courtney (Or Cori)
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
Corizzle (O.o Thank gosh I'm not a gangster..)
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):
Agent Orange Horse (...no comment...)
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):
Anne Mulberry (Not bad, but there's like fifty million 'Anne's' for operas...)
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):
Boncoill (Weird huh? But definetely original)
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
Yellow Milk!! (Oooo that sounds gross. More like super villian name...)
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):
Onnisme (Not bad)
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):
Dianne (I don't like it! Not original enough)
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):
Black Kiki!! (LOL)
How to determine your Star Wars honorific name and title:
1. take the last three letters of your last name and reverse them.
Ttenocaryet Of Gummy Bear Vitamins (LOL that's original)
LIST YOUR TOP TEN SONIC CHARACTERS AND ACT AS IF YOU ARE IN THE ANIME
What would you do if number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night
Cream-I just wanted to tell you that you fell asleep in your day clothes. You shouldn't do that, it's not comfortable.
Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering
Number 4 announced that he or she's going to marry 9 tomorrow
Me-It's not that bad of a pairing, and I'd be happy for them I guess. O.o
Number 5 cooked you dinner.
Tails-Glad Cream taught me how to cook. ^.^
Me-What's in this?
Number 6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping.
I would not dare wake him...maybe... *evil grin*
Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family
That's weird huh? Maybe I'm part robot...
Number 8 got into hospital somehow.
Me-So much for ultimate lifeform.
Shadow-What was that?
Number 9 made fun of your friend
Me-WHO THE HE- Knuckles?!? That's not good. 'Kay buds, you're on your own
Number 10 ignored you all the time.
Me-I'll get the weed killer...
Cosmo-I'm awake! ^.^
Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do?
Cream? Cream the Rabbit? Uhhhhhhhh... IDK!!
You're are on a vacation with 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do ?
He'd probably think it was funny. Then he'd take me to the hospital...laughing.
It's your birthday. What will 3 give you?
Me-*takes present and rips it open* A bracelet! Oh, look at the crystals.
Rouge-They're fake, sweetheart.
You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?
She'd save herself, then realize she left me and smack a hole in the wall with her hammer
You're about to do something that will make you extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?
Probably stop me, thank God
You're about to marry number 10. What's 1's reaction?
Me-Alright, Cream. I'm about to marry an alien tree. When the preacher says "Speak now or forever hold your peace" you stand up and say. "STOP THE WEDDING" Got it?
You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?
He'd annoy me. But that's why he's even on this list, he's so annoying it's cute. ^.^ So I'd be happy
You compete in a tournament. How does 9 support you?
YAY TIME TO PUNCH OTHER TEAMS XD
You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?
Cosmo-Please stop laughing, you'll blow our cover!
Cosmo-Ummm... I like a bug!
Me-I know! HAHAHAHAHA
Cosmo-He has a stinger...?? ^^'
Number 2 tells you about his or her deeply hidden love for number 9
Me-*gets gun* SAY ITS A JOKE OR I'LL SHOOT!!!!!
You're dating 3 and he or she introduces you to his or her parents. Would you get along?
Since when am I...ya know, not straight?
Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean?
It means that Amy thinks Knuckles has a pretty gem that would look good on her wedding ring to marry Sonic.
Will 5 and 6 ever kiss?
No. Never. EVER.
Number 6 appears to be a player, breaking many hearts. What do you do?
Haha. Not surprised.
You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?
I knew it. He wants to make fun of me. AT LEAST I ACTUALLY HAVE HAIR
Number 8 thinks he or she'll never get a girl or boyfriend. What will you tell him or her?
Me-Silly Shadow. Obviously you've never met your fanbase. Or my sister.
Number 9 is too shy to face you and confesses their love by sending a email. Now what?
Me-You send e-mails? O.o
You spot 10 kissing 1. How do you react?
EVERTHING I KNOW IS A LIE
You notice that 3 and 4 have been inside a hotel room for MORE than a few hours. What are you thinking?
They're obviously discussing how hard it is to crush on super-speedy hedgehogs.
Could 1 and 6 be soul mates?
Would 2 trust 5?
Maybe... I mean, they're friends I guess.
Number 4 is bored and pokes 10. What happens after that?
5 and 1 are forced to go back to school. What study will they pick?
Hmm. Tails would definetely be the whole tech stuff. Cream? Maybe nursing..?
If 6 and 3 would make a dinner what would they make?
Something with chili dogs in it.
7 and 9 apply for a job. What job?
Knuckles and Bokkun? Messengers...But that only fits Bokkun. *shrug*
9 sketches what 6's perfect girl or boyfriend should look like; will 6 be happy?
Knuckles-Hey look Sonic! I drew Amy!
10 and 9 are blushing while they talk. What is conversation about?
Uhhh...They're talking about...*shrug*
1 accidentally kicked 10.
Cream-So sorry Cosmo!
Cosmo-Aww. ^.^ It's alright.
2 sent a message to her or his bf or gf but 9 got it. What would 9 do?
5 and 6 did a workout together.
Sonic and Tails? Well I guess they are best friends
6 noticed he or she wasn't invited to your birthday.
7 won the lottery.
Bokkun-YAY Look at me! I'm rich and you're not, ha!
Me-Hand over the ticket. You know I bought it.
Bokkun-NOOOOOO It's mine!!!!!!
8 had quite a secret.
Shadow? He has plenty of secrets, that's why he's on this list ^-^
9 became a singer.
10 got a daughter.
Cosmo? I guess she'd be a good mom
What would 1 think of 2?
Aww, someone that's as old as me. Now Cheese and I have a new friend. :-)
How would 3 greet 4?
Rouge-Hey, where's your boyfriend, chick?
Amy-Not here, and NO he didn't leave me. >:(
What would 4 envy about 5?
Amy?! Envy?! I don't know. Tails is smart. Umm...maybe he's closer to Sonic than she is?!
What dream would 5 have about 6?
They are best friends, so maybe it's like the dreams I have. Where I do something stupid and my friends save me..
What do 6 and 7 have in common?
I know! They..nu-uh...maybe they- nope...Uhhhh...
What would make 7 angry at 8?
If Shadow completely ignored Bokkun, the little robot would probably lose his crackers
Where would 8 meet 9?
Maybe fighting Sonic? Knuckles might be there. *shrug*
What would 9 never dare to tell 10?
Knuckles-That stupid bee is always in the way...
Cosmo-What?! (CHARSMO FTW!!!!)
What would make 10 scared of 1?
If Cosmo ever tries to take Tails from Cream. Man, Cosmo BETTER be scared.
Is 3 gay?
I don't think so. She's pretty flirty with guys to be homosexual.
You are drowning, how does 9 react?
Me-Knuckles, save me!
Knuckles-*glances at me* Why?
Me-Because I'm drow- *goes under*
Knuckles-*sighes and saves me*
Would you be happy on a date with 8?
Shadow? Sure I guess
What would make 7 go head over heels for 10?
Bokkun and Cosmo? Is there even a fan group for that? (There probably is)
6 is having a secret affair with 3. What does 1 do?
Sonic and Rouge? Ok, I KNOW there's a fan group for that.
5 is having trouble sleeping and calls 2. What happens?
Tails calls Charmy for help? Does the little guy even sleep? He probably finds it boring.
You catch 3 looking through your personal belongings. What do you do?
Rouge-What?! You act like I might steal something! *looks through jewelry*
Switch it round. 3 catches you looking though their personal belongings. What does he or she do?
Rouge-Keep your hands off of my-
Me-Who's this Rouge?? *holds up picture of Shadow*
2 finds some very embarrassing home videos from when you were a baby. What do he/she do with them?
Oh god. CHARMY GOT THE VIDEOS. I'm more than screwed, peeps.
4 turns out to be a secret movie star.
Amy? Not surprised
Four invites three to have dinner at his/her house. What happens?
Amy invites Rouge? This'll be good.
If you had to sleep over at either Eight's or One's house, who would it be?
Definetely Cream. She'd would DEFINETLY be nicer about it
Two and Seven are making out and Ten walks in. What happens?
Bokkun and...and Ch-ch-charmy? I-I...*pulls out weed killer*
Three has to marry eight, four or nine. Who will he/she choose?
Rouge has to mary Shadow, Amy or Knuckles. Personally, I support ShadowXRouge, but as long as it's not Amy, Knuckles or Shadow's good.
Seven kidnaps two and demands something from 5. What is it?
Bokkun kidnaps Charmy and demands something from Tails?
Bokkun-GIVE ME THE BUNNY AND NO ONE GETS HURT. (For anyone who doesn't know Bokkun has a crush on Cream)
Tails- NEVER!!!!!!! YOU CAN KEEP HIM!
Charmy-So much for friends, huh?
One starts a cooking show. 15 minutes later what happens?
Cream would make something sweet, like cupcakes or brownies. Then she'd give one to every member in the audience out of the kindness of her heart.
One and Nine are locked in a closet. What happens?
SOMEONE SAVE CREAM!
Tails somehow scientifically gets the door open*
Me-What are you two doing? *Knuckles and Cream are playing go fish*
Cream-No, Mr. Knuckles, it's go fish. And besides, Tails is a fox not a fish. :-)
10 and 7 have been locked in a room. What are they doing?
Again, is there a fan group for this couple? I don't support it, but I'm curious
Everybody is invited to two's and ten's wedding except eight. How do they react?
Shadow might be a bit angry at you two. (What a coincidence! I completely support this couple!)
One is late for two's and ten's wedding. What happens? And why were they late?
Cream had to help Cheese tied his bowtie, but she shows up and everyone forgives her. (Again I wuv charsmo)
2 and 6 are dancing. What happens when 4 sees them?
5 throws a pear at 1. What happens?
Cream falls on impact and Tails runs to her. (The old damsel in distress pull ^.^)
Everybody gangs up on three. Does three have a chance in hell?
'Course she does This is ROUGE we're talking about! She always gets away...
Everyone goes after 10. Does he/she have a chance?
Ok, no. Cosmo wouldn't stand a chance against everyone. (But then Charmy would save her and fly her away... at least according to me)
Do you think four is hot? How hot?
Amy? We're both girls.
What is the reason that you want to kill 5?
He hasn't gotten together with one yet.
What's the worst thing that can happen to 1?
If Cheese passed away, all would be lost. (At least until a certain two tailed yellow fox saves her!...)
You and 2 team up in something. What is that something?
We will get Cosmo to fall in love with Charmy by sundown.
Charmy-Cori, I can do this on my-
Me-NO. No. I shall help! At least until lunch then I have to go home.
What would happen if 3 laughed at 5?
Tails-What are you laughing at?
Rouge-I think it's cute that you like that bunny but won't say anything. If you got some confidence maybe you could actually get a girlfriend.
What would happen if 1 went on a shopping spree with 6?
Cream and Sonic? They would buy chili dogs and yummy stuff. And Sonic would carry all the bags.
What would happen if 1 and 2 fell in love!?
Cream and Charmy? It's not a bad pairing, but I MUCH prefer Taiream and Charsmo.
What would happen if 6 got snowed in at 5's house?
The only problem with that is Sonic would feel trapped.
What would 5 do if he got snowed in at 7's house?
Bokkun would think it's funny and annoy Tails until his cute fox ears fell off.
What would 3 do if he found out he was in 5's body?
Rouge? Inside Tails? I'm stumped.
Do you recall any fics about nine?
What would happen if seven walked in on two and eight kissing?
He'd probably laugh, I'd scream and my eyes would bleed
Could you see 5 and 3 as a pairing?
If 9 was looking for a mate, would they choose 6 or 4?
Amy is the only girl. SORRY SONIC! XD
Could you see 1 and 10 fighting over 7?
I don't think so
What would happen if 7 walked in on 5 and 10 making out?
He'd laugh, I'd cry becuase I don't like that couple. A fox kissing a plant scares me.
Would 4 rather make out with 8 or slap 3?
Eight walks into Ten's room while he/she is changing, what would happened?
Shadow walks into Cosmo's room? Weird...
8 and 9 get on TV. Why?
They umm... they uhhh...IDK
Nine and Ten get married and Eight and Two are late for the wedding. What do they do?
Shadow-Quick, Charmy fly us!
Charmy-Really, weddings are boring. Why are we even going?
Nine murders two's best friend. What does two do for revenge?
Charmy-Knuckles, stupid Knuckles, show your face and I'll STING YOU!! >:(
Five and Nine end up drunk at your house. What do you do?
Tails and Knuckles, drunk? Knock 'em out. Into separate rooms they go! ^-^
Have you ever written about six/eight?
As a pairing? No. As, like, rivals or something of that matter? I might.
Is nine a major character?
Do one and three make a good couple?
Cream and Rouge? NOOOOO YURI
Who would 3 jump in the way of a bullet for?
Shadow. Definetely. And maybe Knuckles
Three/Two or Three/One?
Between the two, I'd go with RougeXCharmy. *throws up*
Five/Nine or five/ten?
Between the two I'd go with taismo
What is a good shipping name for a 4 and 9 pairing?
Knuxamy. (I think that's actually a pairing people support! I don't though.)
What is a good shipping name for a 2 and 7 pairing?
I'd call that ship crap.
Suggest a title for a seven/ten hurt/comfort short story?
What's up with all the Bokksmo in this quiz? Jeez.
Do you draw or write eight?
Would you write a short story about nine/four/five?
I don't think I could. Knuckles/Amy/Tails??
If you wrote a one/six/nine short story, what would the warning be?
WARNING: UTTER DISASTER
4, 10, 5, and 6 are invited to 7's home for a party. What happens?
Amy, Cosmo, Tails and Sonic are invited to Bokkun's house for a party? Dear Chaos.
10 has a birthday, and invites 2, 7, 6, and 9 to his party. What kind of chaos ensues?
Cosmo has a birthday and invites Charmy, Bokkun, Sonic and Knuckles to her party. The chaos would be that weird, akward silence you get when you don't know many of the people.
5 and 7 go to a day camp. What happens?
Tails and Bokkun. Tails would fix stuff, and Bokkun would get kicked out for annoying the camp counsler.
What do you think of Four/Three? Obviously Three/One surpasses it.
NEITHER. I DON'T LIKE YURI.
2 is in love with 4, he confesses. How does 4 respond?
Amy-NO. I love Sonic.
Charmy-Oh. OK. You were getting boring anyway. *flies off*
Amy-What'd ya mean boring? JERK!
10 hates you. Why?
Probably because I defended her hater group on deviantart. Now I like her though! Cosmo! Please, I don't hate you!
2 and 6 are fighting. What do you do?
Charmy and Sonic? Shoot, Charmy! FLY! FLY AWAY!
6 loses her memory. You have to give her a new memory. What do you say to her?
Me-Sonic, listen to me. You love Amy, ok?
9 is going through a tough break up. How do you cheer him up?
Me-O.o I'm stumped truly.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux, Aintzane411, BillieMaysSaysKaboom,Nuns N' Bagels, Damon.x.Baird.x, ita-chan01, Razzika, Lyn Gainsborough, Alexia The Hedgehog, OddSakura
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, Artemis Fowl), hollybridgetpeppermint (ARTYARTYARTY!! And Holmes. And Ali (don't laugh!! Stupid fangirl thingy...). And Peter Wimsey. And Albert Campion. And the Phantom, catsrule. And...) Kaname-Black-Panther (Harry Potter, Lorcan Furey, Ron Weasley, Kaname Kuran!), TheJasperFangirl(Marcus Volturi(don't laugh), Jez Stukely, Jasper Whitlock hale, Iggy from maximum Ride, Artemis Fowl, Fred Weasley, Ayame Sohma(you better not be laughing)DgShadowChocolate (Shadow the Hedgehog-what? He's hot-, OddSakura (Shadow The Hedgehog (THE EPITOME OF AWESOME!), Silver the Hedgehog (I love him so much it hurts, he is my fave character EVER!!), Odd Della Robbia (I LOVE YOU ODD), Fred Weasley (I LOVE YOU TOO FRED!!!!) and Raimundo Pedrosa!(Best character in the entire series.)) CBonnett (Speedy Gonzales, Rephaim, and Zackary Powers (A character from a story I'm writing))
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
One of the funniest things i've ever read:
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
Things To do in Walmart:
1. Throw skittles at people and say, "Taste the freakin' rainbow!"
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
16. When you see stuff in those cage-things, Yell "NOOO!! YOU'VE KILLED IT!"
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Touch an electrical cord and pretend that you are getting shocked.
20. Hide in the giant snowman blowup and when people walk by say, " I am the abominable snowman! Fear me! I will eat you!"
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that guy/girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
25. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."
26. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever wished that you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.
If you're against animal cruelty then copy this into your profile!
If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you have not copy/paste this in your profile already copy/past this in your profile
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever made an OC copy/past this into your profile
Anyone who thinks drugs are for retards, paste this into your profile.
Anyone who thinks that teenagers should be encouraged to write FanFics instead of knifing people on the streets, go tell them and copy/paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
A black man walked into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
THINGS TO PONDER:
There are three types of people in the world: those who learn by reading, those who learn by observation, and those who have to touch the fire to see if it's hot.
Gay means happy, a fag is a cigarette, queer is weird, and fruity is a flavor, just say homosexual.
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
-Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
-Please select from the following options menu:
-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
-If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
-If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
-If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
-If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
-If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
-If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.
-If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
Am I a tomboy or a regular girl? (the ones with stars are my selections)
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You've played with/against boys on a team.*
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.*
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
I'm such a guy =P
This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Star the ones that you have done!
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
66 out of 100. MAN I AM STUPID.
My name is Tiffany
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can’t do a wrong
I can’t speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren’t home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie’s bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I’m so afraid now
I’m starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He’s already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I’m sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Brawled on the floor
My name is tiffany
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
And you can help
Sickens me top the soul,
And if you read this
and don’t pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be effected
By this Poem
And because you are effected,
Do something about it!
So all i ask you to do is copy this and paste it into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
Love your enemies...they hate it
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school
he told his friends that it was cool
and when he pulled the trigger back
it shot with a great, huge crack
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told
I went to school, got straight A's and even got the gold!
when I went to school that day
I never said good-bye
I'm sorry I had to go, But Mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another
And all because Johnny got the gun from his brother
Mommy please tell daddy; that I love him very much
and please tell Zack; my boyfriend; it wasnt just a crush
and tell my little sister; that she's the only one now;
and tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now.
and tell my friends; that they were always the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
mommy, please tell my teachers I won't show up for class
and to never forget this, and please don't let it pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserved this.
but Mommy it's not fair, I left without a kiss
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest
but Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
when I heard that great big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try something new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy on that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live
But Mommy I must go now,the time is getting late
Mommy tell my Zack I'm sorry to cancel the date
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know it's true
and Mommy all I need to say is, "I love you."
In memory of The Columbine & Virginia tech students who were lost
you have 2 choices:
1) Pass this on and show people you care as "Try not to cry"
2) Don't pass it, and you've just proven how cold-hearted you are...
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny Me, I will deny you in front of My Father in the gates of Heaven.
If you're a Christian and you walk the path the Lord has laid out for you, copy and past this in your profile.
If You Believe
“For I know, the plans I have for you.”
“Plans to prosper and not to harm you.”
“Plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29: 11
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile!
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say - right before you say it - copy this into your profile!
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.She asked if they would ask the man one question.She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
You're never alone...
93 Percent Of the people who read this won't re-post it.
Don't be one of those people.
Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you
This is a really, really, really long profile. If you have a really, really, really long profile, copy and paste this to make it even longer!!