If you're reading this...Hiiiiii! I still exist but have devoted my writing energies to forum-based rpgs. What can I say? Character interaction is easier than plot. ;) That being said, I've more than a few (epically long) fanfics on the back burner. Who knows, maybe one day they'll make their way here. Stranger things have happened.

Some Quotes that I've found interesting or amusing:

"Every fairytale needs a good old fashioned villain." -Jim Moriarty, Sherlock

"The trouble with mornings is that they come when you're not awake." -Archie Goodwin, Nero Wolfe.

"I'm not crazy...at least, not officially." -Mr. Chapel, Vengeance Unlimited

"A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth but, nobody should be asked to handle this trip." -Raoul Duke/Hunter S. Thompson, Fear Loathing in Las Vegas

"Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a Highway Traffic Cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow." -Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"How long could we maintain, I wondered. How long before one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family. Would he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so - well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere. Because it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency, and they'll run us down like dogs...
Jesus! Did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?" -Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"I'm a respectable citizen. A multiple felon, perhaps, but certainly not dangerous."
-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"Are you a Mexi-can? Or a Mexi-can't?" -CIA Agent SJ Sands, Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Agent SJ Sands-"You really must try this. It is a slow roasted pork, nothing fancy, it just happens to be my favorite, and honestly, that is the best it's ever been. Anywhere. In fact, it's too good. It is so good that when I'm finished with it, I'll pay my check, walk straight into the kitchen, and shoot the cook. I restore the balance to this country. And that is what I would like from you right now. To help me keep the balance by pulling the trigger."
El-"You want me to shoot the cook?"
Agent SJ Sands-"No, I'll shoot the cook. My car's parked out back anyway."
-Once Upon a Time in Mexico

"It might get a wee bit dangerous there, sugarbutt. Can you dig it?" -CIA Agent SJ Sands, Once Upon a Time in Mexico

"I kind of saw Agent Sands as this guy who was, ah, a danger to the agency. Obviously some kind of menace, you know, a guy who's probably got at least one or two or three imbalances."
-Johnny Depp on his character CIA Agent SJ Sands, Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Mullroy: What’s your purpose in Port Royal , Mr. Smith?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies.
Captain Jack: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out!
Murtogg: I said no lies!
Mullroy: I think he’s telling the truth. -Pirates of the Caribbean

"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request...means no." -Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean

"Me? I'm just dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.Honestly, It's the honest ones you've got to watch out for. You never know when they're going to do something really stupid." -Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

"Elizabeth is safe, like I promised. She's going to marry the commodore, like she promised. And you're going to die for her, like you promised. So we're all men of our words except for Elizabeth who is in fact a woman." -Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

BLACKADDER- Now, where the hell are we?
GEORGE- We-ell, it's a bit difficult to say. We appear to have crawled into an area marked with mushrooms.
BLACKADDER- What do those symbols denote?
GEORGE- That we're in a field of mushrooms?
BLACKADDER- Lieutenant, that is a military map. It is unlikely to list interesting flora and funghi. Look in the key and I think you'll find those mushrooms aren't for picking.
GEORGE- Oh yes you're right, it says "mine". So... these mushrooms must belong to the man who made the map!

Blackadder, Goodbyeee

"Are you hungry? I haven't eaten since later this afternoon." -Primer