Author has written 16 stories for Maximum Ride, X-overs, Host, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
HI! im shannon and im absolutley in love with reading and writing! i am so happy that i got this dang thing to work!! :D my fav.books are :the host, maximum ride, and harry potter. and my favorite tv shows are Inuyahsa and Bones! gotta love Booth and the cocky belt buckle. lol
so any way, i am a tomboy i hate pink hate cheerleaders(no offense) and have no idea about fashion or makeup or hair. if any of you have read Nudgeness15's story 'lets take a flight' well thats my friend z. and i also know Fang13 thats my friend aaron. i am so tired right now so sorry that i'm being boring. hi! so i'm 13 and i have red hair. i have green eyes-today. and thats about it for me.
I read of a man who stood to speak
He noted that first came the date of her birth
For that dash represents all the time
For it matters not how much we own;
So think about this long and hard.
If we could just slow down enough
And be less quick to anger,
If we treat each other with respect,
So, when your eulogy is being read
How Will You Spend YOUR Dash?
some day ur lfe will falsh before your eyes so make it worth watching.
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
sadly i do all of that.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight,freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, Give Up Your Prejudices,dragongoddess13 flygirl101:D
9 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?
god i hate it when people are so stupid.
dont go rotten- be the bueatiful girl u are.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those
who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
there you go-something that you didnt know.
Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
one of my bestfrieds is Bi and i love her just the same,shes no diffrent than me.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! hahaha!
"Someone hit me with a car." "We knew that already." "Yea, but now i have proof and i find i'm really annoyed." (Hodgins and Brenan)Bones
"Oh look a little golden man." National Treasure 2
"I'll be back in five or six days." "No you'll be back in five or six pieces" (Malcom and Sara) Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." (Adam Savage) Mythbusters
"We can sit in the corner with our backs against the wall so no one can sneak up on you and wack you with a cannoli." "Wack you with a cannoli?...Oh because
he left the gun and took the cannoli." "You are so my daughter." (Lorilie and Rory Gilmore) The Gilmore Girls
"What are you doing?" "Blackmailing you." "I like it." "I'm fairly certain your not supposed to." (Brennan and Booth) Bones
"When i die they'll freeze me right next to Ted Nudgent, and when they find the cure for whatever i died from and they unfreeze me. the first thing i'll say is
how's Ted followed closely by Taylor no." (Luke Daines) The Gilmore Girls
"Hey break down the door" "It hurts my shoulder when i break down the door." (Brennan and Booth) Bones
"Why do i have to be the poop checker?" "Because returning the runt was your idea, becasue your small and insignifcant and because i'll pumle you if you don't" (Manny and Sid) Ice Age
Max: (to Fang) "You look like a kitty-cat." Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?"
Fang: "You are a fridge with wings. We're freaking ballet dancers." Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever
Fang: "Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever
Max: "Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much." (tries to hold out arms to show how much)
Fang: "There is one bright side to this."
Iggy: "I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan! Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.
Dr. Martinez: "Fang? Are you - like Max?"
ter Borcht: "Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Jeb: "Nothing is as it seems, Max."
Max just explained to the flock that she wants them to find three good things every day...
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
Man: Where have you been all my life?
A poem I am passing on about child abuse, I hope you pass it on too.
And you can help to stop this for others. And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be One heartless person to not be effected By this poem and because you are effected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse.
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Take the time...to live and love.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. I am Weird and PROUD OF IT!
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!
Duct tape is like the force, it has alight sideand a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Toesarent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully. (they r to accompany my shins)
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you.
A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you find your prince.
A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain.
A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move.
A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry.
A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number.
A best friend has your number memorized.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you.
A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel.
A best friend just sits down and cries.
good friend: Will help me learn to drive
best friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
good friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
best friend: Won't let me go away
good friend: Will help me up when I fall down
best friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
good friend: Will bail me out of jail
best friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up, but it was so fun!"
good friend: Will go to a concert with me
best friend: Will kidnap the band with me
good friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
best friend: Calls my parents "Mom" and "Dad"
good friend: Asks me for my number
best friend: Asks me for her number
good friend: Hides me from the cops
best friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
good friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
best friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too
(thanks to my Bffs)
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
K N O W L E D G E
So, it stands to reason that hardworkand knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.
And look how far this will take you...
A S S K I S S I N G
Think about it...and have a nice day at work/skwl
Copy and Paste
If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (BOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)
If you are 100 percent in love with James Patterson's fictional series 'Maximum Ride', copy this to your profile.
If you think Rosalie Hale is a stuck up blonde but you luv her n think she wouldn't be Rosalie if she weren't like this, copy this to your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile
92 percent of teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this to your profile if you are one of the six percent who laughed their asses off when they heard this(Me), or if you are one of the two percent who didn't know what Abercombie and Fitch was
95 percent of people are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this to your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile
If you have ever stayed up ALL NIGHT just so you could finish a really good book, copy this to your profile.
If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile.
If you want to see Maximum Ride(the movie) on the very first day it comes out... I'LL SEE YOU THERE!(oh...and copy this to your profile.)
If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile
If you have ever just SLAPPED someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you know how to laugh at yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you think rainstorms are great,
if you'll take first watch copy and paste this is your profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!)
If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, copy and paste this in your profile
If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile
If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. (HINT HINT)
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, beforebeing crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.
If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you think the world is heading to a bad place, and are planning on doing something about it by making wonderful stories, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
if you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
Copy this into your profile if, even though he's a drug addict crazy depressed emo guy, you idolize Fang!
If you love irratating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. -I'm not exactly like this, but i thought a lot of it applied to me. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone:
Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, ReganBaxter, the7thflockmember, dusk3ttex01, MiniFeverency, Outside Jokes, Midge1012 flygirl101
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."
"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."
"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?
Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
"You know what the trouble with real life is? There's no danger music." -Jim Carrey
"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."
"If you know me, chances are you hate me."
"I'm the kind of person your parents warned you about."
"Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within"
"Don't judge a book by it's cover, nor a person by their scars"
"It's not until you're broken that you know what you're made of."
"To die is nothing but a long goodbye."
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
"Fragile. Do not drop."(oppsie...)
i called you boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
i never apologise, im sorry but that's just the way i am
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
What you call dog with no legs?
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
'When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and laugh as everyone tries to figure out why the hell you did it' - Allyn Night
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
don't follow in my footsteps i tend to walk into walls
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
He who laughs last didn't get it
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
You can't spell awesome without ME!
People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Straight is something crooked that was bent.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
i love you is spelt with eight letters, but so is bullshit
best friend - spelt with ten letters, but so is lying bitch
I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if I’m not in it, I go to work.
A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
my imaginary friends think you have problems
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
everyone's entitled to be stupid but your just abusing the privilege
it takes 42 muscles to frown at the person who is annoying you but only 4 to reach out and bitch slap them
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap of an electronic device to make it work again
'If you are first you are first. If you are second you are not in first.'
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
"South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas." -Max-MAX
"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE
"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES
"Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-FW
"Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX.
White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses.
White is the colour of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.
White is the colour of soft serve ice cream in a cone.
White is the colour of angels wings and Angel's wings.
White is the colour of brand new ankle socks fresh out of the bag.
White is the colour of crisp sheets in schmancy hotels
White is the colour of every last freaking gol-danged thing you see for endless miles and MILES if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness- Wonder Bread, someone's underwear, teeth, you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself.
"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang
"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge
Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" ~Max and Jeb
“Now, let’s say they come and get us.” –Max
MAXIMUM RIDE FAN QUESTIONS:
1. Do you think Iggy is hot?
NO! hes the kind of guy thats ur bestfriend.
2. Did you cry when Ari died?
no, but it is sad that he tried so hard to get his dads attention and never got that. everyne has aright to be loved(except-RHW.)
3. Do you think Fang is hot?
4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?
Air-ee is how i pronounce it
5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?
yes lol its like i want to say hey whats up chewwy
6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?
Um yeah like dogg geting married omg
7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX
YES!! (SORRY GIRLY MOMENT THERE.)
8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?
No i would of lost my page
9. Who is your favorite character?
i have to say fang.
10. Do you like Jeb?
No he is a retard
11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?
More like "oh typical" face
12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?
yeah less obsessive with global warming
13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?
Yeah um angel was annoying me nudge not so much
14. Which book is your all time favorite?
15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?
Hero by skillet.
16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?
17. Who do you think the voice should be?
18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?
19. What bugged you the most about TFW?
Global Warming coming up in every sentence and the legnth
20. MIGGY or FAX?
What if you found the one thing you hoped for
What if it was taken away
What if you got the one thing you worked and dreamt for
What if your dreams were shattered
What if you found the guy of your dreams
What if he turns out to be a horrible man
What if your life is going great
What if your life takes a turn for the worse
What if you find you get along with everyone
What if everyone secretly hates you
What if you had all the answers
What if all you knew was a lie
What if you had everything
but What if you had nothing-written by skylr.
YOUR REAL NAME:
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and a fancy name):
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you have ever wanted to yell at a chararter in a book for being so very stupid copy this into your profile
If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar high, copy onto profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile
A True Boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad: Follow her
When she stares at your mouth: Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you: Grab her and don't let go
When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong
When she ignores you: Give her your attention
When she pull's away: Pull her back
When you see her start crying: Just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared: Protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you: Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt: Back yourself up
When she says that she likes you: she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands: Hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret: keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does
When she misses you: she's hurting inside
When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away
When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers
When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it -(C.W)
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
put ur ipod on shuffle and fill in what ever song comes up next!
1. How does the world see you? stand rascal flatts.-cool.
2. Will I have a happy life? my front porch looking in-lonestar.-cool!
3. What do my friends really think of me?anything but ordinary-avril lavingne.-(uhhh ok..)
4. Do people secretly lust after me? according to you-orthani(alriightie then.)
5. How can I make myself happy?-smile-uncle kracker(uhh okay)
6. What should I do with my life? keep holding on-avril lavigne (thats wonderful)
7. What is some good advice for me? if today was your last day-nickelback(wonderful adivice!)
8. How will I be remembered? wild one-faith hill(awsome!)
9. What is my signature dancing song? fireflies-owlcity(great! just great!)
10. What do I think my current theme song is? its not my time-three doors down-(ok)
11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Pain-three days grace-(oh thats just great!)
12. What song will play at my funeral?-everyting-life house.(okay then.)
13. What type of men/women do you like? whatever it takes-lifehouse(so what does that mean?)
14. What is my day going to be like? me against the world-superchick(so what?)
15. What will tomorrow bring? check yes juliet-we the kings(huh?)
YOUR GUY SIDE:
x You love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
thats kinda sad.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Agateophobia- Fear of insanity. (i would be but...2 l8)
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. (OH NO THE GARLIC IS EATING ME)
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. (i hate that it takes like hours to get it off)
Bibliophobia- Fear of books. (ahh its all wordy and paper filled!!)
Chaetophobia- Fear of hair. (its all hairy and long ahhhh!)
Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors. (hmm so would everything be white or black? cause in light black is the absence of color and whit is all colors. but in like paint black is all colors and whit is the apsence of color!)
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch. (he is all dutchy eww!)
Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc. (sorry cant be friends with u im afraid of you!)
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers. (i would be afraid of me to)
Ergophobia- Fear of work. (thats me i definitaly have this phobia)
Gerontophobia- Fear of old people. (uggh there so old and wrinkly!!)
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (ok who is the horribly mean person who came up with that name! its like hi i have a phobia but im afraid of the word that desribes it.)
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news. (AHHHHH! your getting married. ahhh! i won 20 million dollars ahhh!)
Nomatophobia- Fear of names. (hi im afraid of my name so im not going to tell u it oh and dont tell be urs unless u like seeing my curled up screaming)
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything. (ahhh soup. ahhh spoon. ahhh monkey. ahhh breathing! person procedes to hold breath and diie.)
You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
i smile because i have no idea whats going on
Im nodding and laughing but Im not listening
How to improve at work
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100.
How about achieving 103? Here’s a little math that might prove helpful.
What makes life 100?
- Aren’t the ’good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
- How come popcorn isn’t a vegetable?
- Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
- If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (I put an X by everything I’ve done! Ya I’m honest! Boo YA!
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story X
I was honest with u now u be honest with every one else copy and paste this to ur profile and mark all the stupid things u have done!
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies!)
Quotes from ME!!
"Ahhhh! killer ice cream trtuck!" to my friend Aaron on the late bus.
"Ow my foot!" after running into the glass door almost breaking my nose
"jeez i have a headache no a stomach ache no headache actually i feel fine" arguing with my selff...
"I have a twin!" "no" "well why does she look like me" "shan, its a mirror." "oh..." me and my bff
"WALMART IS TAKIN OVER THE WORLD!!"
Wheres my back pack?" "I dont know" (like 45 min l8r) "okay its time for an intevention shannon its been on your back for the last 45 minutes" "oh well u should of told me!' "i thought u knew!" "aparently not!" my mom and me!
"okay i swear there was a door there like yesterday." after walking through the screen of my porch.
U need background 4 this one: my friend sydney stole a chicken finger puppett the snack shop and named it her viginity and then Zach took it when we were standing in the middle of the beach and sydney yells: "SHANNON YOUR FRIEND STOLE MY VIRGINITY!" and we proceed to have to go to my dad and my dad has to figure out it sydney in a virgin or not we tried to explain it was a puppett o well. (totaly true! we were hanging out at the beach in rhode island at me beach house. i met them the first day!)
"Yeah...I am gonna steal your pants now..." (me- talking to my bff's little brother max.)
me nd Zach r walking around the beach im not paying attension so i walk into a life gaurd chair(wich held my cousin if ur intrested) in the middle of the beach and fall down and Zach says "holy crap shan are you okay babe? as hilarious as you look i think i should care if you okay you are my crush." I just gape at him he says "Um crap did i say tht outloud im sorry..." then he preceded to try to help me up so i just pulled him down with me lol
Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways. ~anonymous
It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes. ~anonymous
"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door..."
sterotypes make me angry like these:
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
What not to say when somebody's dad/immediate relative has cancer:
1. I'm sorry should be said only once when the subject is "brought up" (I'm onto your game Abby.) Close friends can stretch this to a maximum of three times.
2. Is there anything I can do? The answer will always be no.
3. What's the prognosis? Why the hell would somebody say that?!
4. I'm sooo sorry, honey. Hello, random old lady. I don't know you!
5. (Insert family member's name) is going to live right? Same principle as "what's the prognosis?"
There are many many others, but those are the main five.
Something from me to you:
Girl: Do i ever cross ur mind
You know when you live in 2010 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
Do NOT scroll down any further. For this trick to work, you must say this out loud and look at the following symbols VERY closely...
Now look at your wall and and say STUPID outloud, you will see the shadow of a heart appear.
If you fell for this, copy this to your profile and show the world!! Lol.
You know you did...(damn)
Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random (or can be at times) and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you and your friends are the weirdest people in any world out there, copy this onto your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
If you've ever wondered if you were adopted because of your sibling, copy this into your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you think that I'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.
If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.
If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.
If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile.
"Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary." ~Mark Twain
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." -unknown
"Tip. If your feet are wet, do not Moonwalk across the gym floor. You will fall and hurt yourself. Take it from me."-Hi that was me!(long story.)
(this just in, my mom is painting the bath room, and she asked me to move the ladder closer to her so that she could put the tray down so i did and then when i tried to back out of the room, i hit a wall and then my mom told me to check if i got paint on my self, so i whipped my head around, and when i did my hair swung out. hitting the same wall, "Dont be throwing you hair around ya loser!" and then get this i buret out laughing and said "i got to put that on my profile. )
"Yo momma is so fat, the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!"-sydney from rhode island.
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."-zach from rhoe island-dont ask.
"Did it hurt when I fell from heaven? No, but it hurt when they clipped my wings for being the devil." -Unknown
"Mean people suck, nice people swallow, stupid people choke, and weird people gargle." -zach again-dont ask.
"A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am." -Edmond Rostand(that ones just for you christian.)
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -sydney-i really dont have to explain do i?
"Oh Squiggly line in my eye fluid. I see you there lurking on the periphery of my vision. But when I try to look at you, you scurry away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Why only when I ignore you, do you return to the center of my eye? Oh, squiggly line. It's alright. You are forgiven." -Stewie, Family Guy
"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." -Unknown
sydney: "Six letter word for Zach."
Zach: "...both of you, go eat shit."
"OH MY GOD YOU CAN SEE THROUGH MY SHIRT!" -sydney, imitating my aunt.
"Anger is one letter short of danger." -Anonymous
"You're mad, bonkers... but let me tell you a secret. All the best people are." -Alice in Wonderland
"Friendship is one mind in two bodies." ~Menclus
"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates." -Mark Twain
"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." ~Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury
"A broken heart is a heart that has felt love." -Amy Costella
Zach: "What happens in the snack shop, stays in the snack shop."
"I wish I were a white crayon, that way no one could use me." ~Author Unknown
"I can't help looking gay. I put on a dress and people say, "Who's the dyke in the dress?" ~sydney
"There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full." -zach
"Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it." -me to Zach and Sydney-they were haing a stpid pointless fiht that was very entertaining.
sydney: "I could never work at Perverted Justice."
"A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic." ~Bill Watterson
"If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?"
sydney: "I'm gonna steal shannons swim suit, then go to the snack shop and scream 'GET SOME'!"
Zach: "She's trying to say that you can't borrow the swimsuit because she's tall and normal and you're little and fat."
"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."-Scott Adams
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Woody Allen
"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid." -Jack Handey
"Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery." ~Hart Crane
Me: "Yeah, sydney, we need to think of some duets to do at the party."
sydney: "Ahh, a day at home with my favorite T.S. Eliot."
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." -Mark Twain
Sydney: "I'm hungry."
Me: "Shit happens." -Sydney & I
When you say Forks, I say Volterra.
Do you know how hard it is to say: oh no, were just friends, when all you want to do is scream: I LOVE YOU
I'm the type of girl who tries not to like you, and ends up just falling harder
I don't Run away from you...I walk away slowly and it kills me because you don't care enough to stop me.
They are laughing at us because were Idiots...were laughing at them because they Just figured that out
True love is when you shed tears and still want him, It's when he ignores you and you still love him, It's when he loves another girl and you say your happy for them, even though you just cry...and cry
I'm 99 sure he doesn't like me... it's the 1 that keeps me hanging on
This one's for the girls. Who have ever had a broken heart. Who have wished opon a shooting star. Your beautiful the way you are. This one's for the girls.
Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901(actully sexier than everyone since 1901)
Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916(stronger than everyone since 1916)
Rosalie Cullen: Better Than You Since 1916(or she thinks that she is.)
Alice Cullen: Quikier Than You Since 1901(quicker than everyone since 1901)
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843(since before that too)
Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987(and still is-always will be)
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday
My friends are the kind who would spend hours on end trying to drown a fish.
So there is this thing in life called insanity; me and my girls have gone pro.
Go ahead and rain on my parade, I have a really cool umbrella.
Don't frown when you're sad, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Life's to short to blend in.
Parents spend the first part of your life teaching you to walk and talk, then they spend the rest telling you to sit down and shut up.
We were giving 2 hands to hold, 2 eyes to see, 2 legs to walk, but why only 1 heart? Because the other one was given to someone else for us to find.
One day ur prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
Our eyes are placed in front, because it's always more important to look ahead than back.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks I call my friends.
You laugh now because your 3months older than me, but who will be laughing when ur 30 and I'm still 29?
They say; guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well i think if u stood there and yelled BANG, u wouldn't kill 2 many people.
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh when everyone tries to figure out what the heck u did.
When life gives you lemons, chuck 'em at the people you hate.
I'm the kind of girl who falls then apologizes for it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
Just when i was getting used to yesterday, today came along
Friend's will always be like “well you deserve better” but best friends will be prank calling him saying “you will die in seven days”
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.
Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.
So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.
Don’t mess with me - I’ve got a stick.
He said I love you, I sneezed and said sorry I’m allergic to bullshit
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Fun Things To Do In An ELEVATOR!
1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
11) Meow occasionally.
12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.
19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"
Racism: Stupid, pathetic, idiotic. People need to start accepting or I'm going to start kicking some serious ass! No seriously, if one person says oneword about how Caucasians are better than everyone else, I will not hesitate to swear a blue streak while inflicting serious pain. (Note: I am Caucasian, but that doesn't mean I agree with the others...stupid freakin pieces of...)
War:Again, stupid, pathetic, and just little boys and girls comparing who has the better monster trucks and Barbie dolls! If you guys have a disagreement...buy a friggin' chess set!
Child Abuse:You sick, sick bastards! They are children for the love of God! back off 'em cause what'd they ever do to you?!
If you did read this, I thank you for putting up with me and my awful temper, but hey, sometimes a girl just has to speak her mind
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.
Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.
Every time you open your mouth, you get in trouble. Alternatively, just stick up your middle finger under the table.
I have reviews from teens and you don't. In your FACE James Patterson.
There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.(heh heh see conversation with computer above tehe)
Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.
Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided
Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had
Yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet
What have you pulled?
If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first.
If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere
If you have pulled a Iggy: You have run into an inaminate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc.
If you have pulled a Nudge: You have talked about something nonstop for the past five minutes, not allowing anyone else to speak. This is also known as rambling.
If you have pulled a Gazzy: You have farted in a big group of people really loudly, and everyone could hear it and smell it.
If you have pulled a Angel: You have invaded someone elses personal space, without any consideration for that person. You can also pull a Angel by gaining a whole lot of useless powers that you don't really need...but I highly recomend the first one.
If you have ever pulled any of these things stick this on your profile and write which ones you have pulled
I haved pulled a Max, a Fang, a Iggy, Nudge, and Angel.(im just fangtastic that way.)lets see if anyone notices that.
"When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and let the rest of the world wonder how you did it."
"Every book has an ending...but in life every ending is a new beginning"
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
"People think it must be fun to be a smart, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"
"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or you suck.”
"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"
"Sometimes you need to be strong
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"We may not make good decisions But hell, we make good stories."
"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "
"Two wrongs dont make a right, but they make a good excuse."
"Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs. "
"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."
"Never memorize something that you can look up."
"Your a good friend and all, but if the zombies come- i'm SO tripping you"
SOME OF MY MANY Favorite Maximum Ride Quotes:
The Director:"'You were designed to be very smart, Max, We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing."
"I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!'-Gazzy
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"-Max
"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"-Iggy
You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! -Fang,SOF
Max: "We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?'
"Just because wonder boy is stuck to the ground doesn't mean I have to be. I've evolved past being stuck to the ground."-Max STWAOES
Ter Borcht:"Vhy do You let a girl be de leader?"
Ter Borcht"I assume you alvys hold onto someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?
"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us.-Max TAE
"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" –Max
I made one of my famous snap decisions, the kind that everyone remembers later for being either the stupidest dumb-butt thing they ever saw or else the miraculous saving of the day. I seemed to hear more of the first kind. That's gratitude for you. – Max
"Don't ever leave me again." -Max
"Afterall, Fnick is superman"- Iggy
I offered to pee on him but they said no"-Iggy
You're kidding,right? Please tell me you have a stronger motive then 'fair is fair.' Life isnt fair, Dean. Nothing is Fair, ever. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you becasue fair is fair? Try 'I need you to help me so i won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I might respond to that. Maybe -Max
Fang:"Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?"
Fang:"Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."
Ter Borcht:"Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Max:"What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!"
"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max
Teacher: This morning i'm going to give a pop quiz about this week's words, just to see where everyone is and where we need to focus
"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." -Max
"Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." -Fang
"Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren't missionaries." -FBI investigator
"Can we see him?" -Iggy
"Its a baby plane. Its gonna grow up to be seven-forty-seven one day" -Angel
"Fair isn't fair, Dean. Like I'm supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try, "I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it." I might respond to that, maybe." - Max
"Now, let's say they come and get us." -Max
"Buckingham Palace? You know, like where the Queen lives. And Mr. Queen?" - Nudge
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (well no shit sherlock!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD
Know Thyself: Know your weaknesses, your strengths, your loyalties
No thanks, I already have a penguin.
LIST OF PURE FACTS OF THIS WORLD
1. ARNOLD SCHWARTZINNEGAR IS FROM THE PLANET QUARZAAR
2. AREA 51 IN SOUTHWEST USA CONTAINS MUTATED MANATEES
3. LARKS THE SIZE OF AIRPLANES HAVE BEEN SPOTTED OFF OF THE EASTERN COAST OF DENMARK FOUR TIMES SINCE 2003
4. THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS MACS OR PCS. THEY ARE ALL CREATED, DISTRIBUTED, AND NEUCLEARIZED BY ARNOLD SCHWARTZINNEGAR AND HIS MONKEY MINIONS.
5. UNICORNS THRIVE IN WASHINGTON, DC
6. MISSISSIPPI IS ENGAGED TO ALABAMA, BUT IS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS AFTER ALABAMA STARTED SEEING HIS COUSIN, KENTUCKY.
7. DEEP IN THE BOWLS OF ITALY'S MOUNT VESUVIUS LIE THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PENCIL SHARPENERS.
8. POLAR BEARS CONTAIN CHLOROPHYLL, THEREFORE THE ARCTIC IS ABLE TO SUPPORT PLANT LIFE.
9. PRINTERS DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO SWIM
10. SPACESHIPS AND THEIR CREWS DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF DEPTH
If you said. . .I will say. . .
. . .THIS IS MY FIRST STORY!
. . .Do I care?
. . .GET A LIFE!/YOU HAVE NO LIFE/DO SOMETHING ELSE!
. . .why do you always asume that I have no life. I spend an hour on the computer a day, max. There's 24 hours in a day.
. . .I DON'T CARE!
. . .then why are you pming me?
. . .JUST FORGET YOU EVER READ IT!
. . .I would gladly forget that I read such an atrocity if you would stop PMing me.
. . .THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS STORY!
. . .then why did I TELL you there was something wrong with it?
. . .I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE A MARY SUE/MY GRAMMAR SUCKS/MY PLOT IS BORING
. . .then you need to get your priorities straight.
. . .STOP BEING A BULLY!
. . .A bully repeated harrases a person. I review you ONCE, and I'm reviewing your story. Not you.
. . .YOUR STORIES SUCK!
. . .Thanks for the input :-)
. . .WORK ON YOUR OWN STORIES INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT MINE!
. . .I am working on my stories.
. . .I'M BLOCKING YOU!
. . .Congratulations :-)
. . .I'M ONLY 9/10/11/12
. . .Congratulations for breaking the site rules! You have to be thirteen, idiot.
. . .I'M GOING 2 MISPEL EVRYTING JUT 2 ANOY U!
. . .I have no idea why you people think it annoys me. However, it does make me laugh, which is perhaps what you were aiming at.
. . .YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS
. . . wipes away tears of laughter. I'm not jealous of terrible writing.
. . .I'M ONLY FOURTEEN!/IN HIGH SCHOOL!
. . .So am I, and I know how to write a decent story.
. . .THAT WASN'T CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. THAT WAS A FLAME!
. . .I always, always, always, ALWAYS tell the author what the did wrong. Even if I'm a little rude about it.
. . .IF IT WASN'T A FLAME, THEN WHY DID YOU SWEAR?
. . .Swearing gets my point across. I don't swear too often in real life, mostly because I think it's crude, but it works fine on the internet when I'm talking about a truly shitty piece of work.
If you do this. . .then I will do this. . .
. . .If you BLOCK me
. . .I have puppet accounts
. . .If you REVERSE FLAME ME
. . .I will laugh.
If I say this, then it means. . .
. . .You are MANGLING the English language and your spelling SUCKS.
. . .Get a spell check
. . .I hate your plot. It's boring and cliched.
. . .You've copy pasted it from somewhere
STOP BLINDING ME.
. . .You A) wrote in all cap locks, B) wrote in all italics, or C) REFUSED to put paragraphs into your chapter(i dont even know.)