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Joined 04-06-10, id: 2317482, Profile Updated: 06-21-10
Author has written 16 stories for Maximum Ride, X-overs, Host, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

HI! im shannon and im absolutley in love with reading and writing! i am so happy that i got this dang thing to work!! :D my fav.books are :the host, maximum ride, and harry potter. and my favorite tv shows are Inuyahsa and Bones! gotta love Booth and the cocky belt buckle. lol

so any way, i am a tomboy i hate pink hate cheerleaders(no offense) and have no idea about fashion or makeup or hair. if any of you have read Nudgeness15's story 'lets take a flight' well thats my friend z. and i also know Fang13 thats my friend aaron. i am so tired right now so sorry that i'm being boring. hi! so i'm 13 and i have red hair. i have green eyes-today. and thats about it for me.

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

-Linda Ellis

How Will You Spend YOUR Dash?

some day ur lfe will falsh before your eyes so make it worth watching.

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you worship English 101

sadly i do all of that.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight,freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, Give Up Your Prejudices,dragongoddess13 flygirl101:D

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

god i hate it when people are so stupid.

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground which aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

dont go rotten- be the bueatiful girl u are.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism


1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the


8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

there you go-something that you didnt know.

Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

one of my bestfrieds is Bi and i love her just the same,shes no diffrent than me.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! hahaha!

Favorite Quotes

"Someone hit me with a car." "We knew that already." "Yea, but now i have proof and i find i'm really annoyed." (Hodgins and Brenan)Bones

"Oh look a little golden man." National Treasure 2

"I'll be back in five or six days." "No you'll be back in five or six pieces" (Malcom and Sara) Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." (Adam Savage) Mythbusters

"We can sit in the corner with our backs against the wall so no one can sneak up on you and wack you with a cannoli." "Wack you with a cannoli?...Oh because

he left the gun and took the cannoli." "You are so my daughter." (Lorilie and Rory Gilmore) The Gilmore Girls

"What are you doing?" "Blackmailing you." "I like it." "I'm fairly certain your not supposed to." (Brennan and Booth) Bones

"When i die they'll freeze me right next to Ted Nudgent, and when they find the cure for whatever i died from and they unfreeze me. the first thing i'll say is

how's Ted followed closely by Taylor no." (Luke Daines) The Gilmore Girls

"Hey break down the door" "It hurts my shoulder when i break down the door." (Brennan and Booth) Bones

"Why do i have to be the poop checker?" "Because returning the runt was your idea, becasue your small and insignifcant and because i'll pumle you if you don't" (Manny and Sid) Ice Age

Max: (to Fang) "You look like a kitty-cat." Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?" Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment

Fang: "You are a fridge with wings. We're freaking ballet dancers." Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever

Fang: "Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever

Max: "Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much." (tries to hold out arms to show how much)
Fang: "Oh, jeez." Maximum Ride: Saving the World And Other Extreme Sports

Fang: "There is one bright side to this."
Max: "Yeah? What's that?" The new and improved Erasers would mutilate us before they killed us?
Fang: grins You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much. Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Iggy: "I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan! Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.

Dr. Martinez: "Fang? Are you - like Max?"
Fang: "Nope. I'm the smart one." Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

ter Borcht: "Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Fang: "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Jeb: "Nothing is as it seems, Max."
Max: "Is that what the aliens told you when you took off your tin foil hat?" Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Max just explained to the flock that she wants them to find three good things every day...
Total: "Um, well, no one tried to kill us today."
Max: "That's one."
Total: "We're all together."
Max: "Okay, two. You're doing good. Go on."
Total: "I don't have fleas."
Max: "Uh, yep, I guess that's true. That's a good thing."
Iggy: "I don't have fleas."
Gazzy: "Bet you do." Maximum Ride: The Final Warning

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man:Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Girl power!

A poem I am passing on about child abuse, I hope you pass it on too.
My name is Tiffany, I am three,
My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,
I must be stupid, I must be bad,
What else could have made, My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me,
I can’t do a wrong,
I can’t speak at all, Or else im locked up, All day long,
When im awake im all alone, The house is dark, My folks aren’t home,
When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get, One whipping tonight,
I just heard a car,
My daddy is back, From Charlie’s bar,
I hear him curse, My name is called,
I press myself, Against the wall,
I try to hide, From his evil eyes,
I’m so afraid now, I’m starting to cry,
He finds me weeping, Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault, He suffers at work,
He slaps and hits me, And yells at me more,
I finally get free, And run to the door,
He’s already locked it, And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall,
I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken,
"I’m sorry!", I scream, But its now much to late,
His face has been twisted, Into a unimaginable shape,
The hurt and the pain, Again and again,
O please God, have mercy! O please let it end!
And he finally stops, and heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor,
My name is tiffany, I am three,
Tonight my daddy, Murdered me,

And you can help to stop this for others. And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be One heartless person to not be effected By this poem and because you are effected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse.

Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favourite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mummy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the back wall,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
for a man who wasn't there.
'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day.'
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mum.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
'My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
'Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart'
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favourite dress.
And from
somewhere in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
'I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
You see he is a soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
and taught brave men to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw himat her side.
'I know you're with me Daddy,'
to the silence she calle d out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long- stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
Send this to the people you'll never forget and
remember to send it also to the person that sent
it to you. It's a short message to let them know
that you'll never forget them.
If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're
in a hurry and that you've forgotten your

Take the live and love.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. I am Weird and PROUD OF IT!

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Duct tape is like the force, it has alight sideand a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Toesarent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully. (they r to accompany my shins)

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you.

A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you find your prince.

A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain.

A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move.

A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail.

A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry.

A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number.

A best friend has your number memorized.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you.

A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel.

A best friend just sits down and cries.

good friend: Will help me learn to drive

best friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

good friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

best friend: Won't let me go away

good friend: Will help me up when I fall down

best friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

good friend: Will bail me out of jail

best friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up, but it was so fun!"

good friend: Will go to a concert with me

best friend: Will kidnap the band with me

good friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

best friend: Calls my parents "Mom" and "Dad"

good friend: Asks me for my number

best friend: Asks me for her number

good friend: Hides me from the cops

best friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

good friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

best friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too

(thanks to my Bffs)

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love



is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hardworkand knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it...and have a nice day at work/skwl


Copy and Paste

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (BOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)

If you are 100 percent in love with James Patterson's fictional series 'Maximum Ride', copy this to your profile.

If you think Rosalie Hale is a stuck up blonde but you luv her n think she wouldn't be Rosalie if she weren't like this, copy this to your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile

92 percent of teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this to your profile if you are one of the six percent who laughed their asses off when they heard this(Me), or if you are one of the two percent who didn't know what Abercombie and Fitch was

95 percent of people are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you have ever stayed up ALL NIGHT just so you could finish a really good book, copy this to your profile.

If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride(the movie) on the very first day it comes out... I'LL SEE YOU THERE!(oh...and copy this to your profile.)

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever just SLAPPED someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know how to laugh at yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think rainstorms are great,
thunder storms are better,
but lightning storms are the best,
copy and paste this into your profile

if you'll take first watch copy and paste this is your profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!)

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, copy and paste this in your profile

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. (HINT HINT)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, beforebeing crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you think the world is heading to a bad place, and are planning on doing something about it by making wonderful stories, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy this into your profile if, even though he's a drug addict crazy depressed emo guy, you idolize Fang!

If you love irratating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. -I'm not exactly like this, but i thought a lot of it applied to me. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone:

Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, ReganBaxter, the7thflockmember, dusk3ttex01, MiniFeverency, Outside Jokes, Midge1012 flygirl101

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is Human's way of saying "You can't fire me- I quit!"

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

"You know what the trouble with real life is? There's no danger music." -Jim Carrey

"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."

"If you know me, chances are you hate me."

"I'm the kind of person your parents warned you about."

Please Note:
Apparently, you told Santa that you have been good this year.
He died laughing.

"Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within"

"Don't judge a book by it's cover, nor a person by their scars"

"It's not until you're broken that you know what you're made of."

"To die is nothing but a long goodbye."

HIlarious Quotes

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

"Fragile. Do not drop."(oppsie...)

i called you boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

i never apologise, im sorry but that's just the way i am

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

'When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and laugh as everyone tries to figure out why the hell you did it' - Allyn Night

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

don't follow in my footsteps i tend to walk into walls

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last didn't get it

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

You can't spell awesome without ME!

People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Straight is something crooked that was bent.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

i love you is spelt with eight letters, but so is bullshit

best friend - spelt with ten letters, but so is lying bitch

I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if I’m not in it, I go to work.

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

my imaginary friends think you have problems

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

everyone's entitled to be stupid but your just abusing the privilege

it takes 42 muscles to frown at the person who is annoying you but only 4 to reach out and bitch slap them

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap of an electronic device to make it work again

'If you are first you are first. If you are second you are not in first.'

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!I
- If you could read that, put it in your profile

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(Darn it i thought sleep aid ment wont let u sleep!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(That would probaly be a good thing not to stab a kid...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(But how else am i supposed to stop it!)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

MR quotes

"South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas." -Max-MAX

"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES

"Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-FW

"Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX.

White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses.

White is the colour of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.

White is the colour of soft serve ice cream in a cone.

White is the colour of angels wings and Angel's wings.

White is the colour of brand new ankle socks fresh out of the bag.

White is the colour of crisp sheets in schmancy hotels

White is the colour of every last freaking gol-danged thing you see for endless miles and MILES if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness- Wonder Bread, someone's underwear, teeth, you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself.

-Maximum Ride

"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang

"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge

Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" ~Max and Jeb

“Now, let’s say they come and get us.” –Max
“And, like, the halls are full of zebras.”-Ig
“And suddenly tons of bubbles are everywhere.” -Gazzy
“And then everyone starts to eat beef jerky,” -Nudge
“Yeah. I’ll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent, so people are choking and gagging: and let’s throw beef jerky right into their eyes! Now, that’s a plan!” –Ig(lol-luv ya ig!lilbro!)


1. Do you think Iggy is hot?

NO! hes the kind of guy thats ur bestfriend.

2. Did you cry when Ari died?

no, but it is sad that he tried so hard to get his dads attention and never got that. everyne has aright to be loved(except-RHW.)

3. Do you think Fang is hot?


4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?

Air-ee is how i pronounce it

5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?

yes lol its like i want to say hey whats up chewwy

6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?

Um yeah like dogg geting married omg

7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX


8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?

No i would of lost my page

9. Who is your favorite character?

i have to say fang.

10. Do you like Jeb?

No he is a retard

11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?

More like "oh typical" face

12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?

yeah less obsessive with global warming

13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?

Yeah um angel was annoying me nudge not so much

14. Which book is your all time favorite?


15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?

Hero by skillet.

16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?

Umm no...

17. Who do you think the voice should be?

James patterson.

18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?


19. What bugged you the most about TFW?

Global Warming coming up in every sentence and the legnth

20. MIGGY or FAX?


What if

What if you found the one thing you hoped for

What if it was taken away

What if you got the one thing you worked and dreamt for

What if your dreams were shattered

What if you found the guy of your dreams

What if he turns out to be a horrible man

What if your life is going great

What if your life takes a turn for the worse

What if you find you get along with everyone

What if everyone secretly hates you

What if you had all the answers

What if all you knew was a lie

What if you had everything

but What if you had nothing-written by skylr.



2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):


3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):

Black hawk.

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and a fancy name):

leigh la-something-shmancy.

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):

purple-mountian dew

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):



8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):


9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):

black majesty

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever wanted to yell at a chararter in a book for being so very stupid copy this into your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar high, copy onto profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad: Follow her

When she stares at your mouth: Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you: Grab her and don't let go

When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you: Give her your attention

When she pull's away: Pull her back
When you see her at her worst: Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying: Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared: Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you: Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt: Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you: she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands: Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret: keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does

When she misses you: she's hurting inside

When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away

When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it -(C.W)

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

put ur ipod on shuffle and fill in what ever song comes up next!

1. How does the world see you? stand rascal flatts.-cool.

2. Will I have a happy life? my front porch looking in-lonestar.-cool!

3. What do my friends really think of me?anything but ordinary-avril lavingne.-(uhhh ok..)

4. Do people secretly lust after me? according to you-orthani(alriightie then.)

5. How can I make myself happy?-smile-uncle kracker(uhh okay)

6. What should I do with my life? keep holding on-avril lavigne (thats wonderful)

7. What is some good advice for me? if today was your last day-nickelback(wonderful adivice!)

8. How will I be remembered? wild one-faith hill(awsome!)

9. What is my signature dancing song? fireflies-owlcity(great! just great!)

10. What do I think my current theme song is? its not my time-three doors down-(ok)

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Pain-three days grace-(oh thats just great!)

12. What song will play at my funeral?-everyting-life house.(okay then.)

13. What type of men/women do you like? whatever it takes-lifehouse(so what does that mean?)

14. What is my day going to be like? me against the world-superchick(so what?)

15. What will tomorrow bring? check yes juliet-we the kings(huh?)


x You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x Dogs are better than cats.
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
X Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
x Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
x At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
XGory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
XBaggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
x Talk with food in your mouth.
XSleep with your socks on at night--sometimes



You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
XUsed to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

points 3

thats kinda sad.

Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.

Agateophobia- Fear of insanity. (i would be but...2 l8)

Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. (OH NO THE GARLIC IS EATING ME)

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. (i hate that it takes like hours to get it off)

Bibliophobia- Fear of books. (ahh its all wordy and paper filled!!)

Chaetophobia- Fear of hair. (its all hairy and long ahhhh!)

Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors. (hmm so would everything be white or black? cause in light black is the absence of color and whit is all colors. but in like paint black is all colors and whit is the apsence of color!)

Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch. (he is all dutchy eww!)

Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc. (sorry cant be friends with u im afraid of you!)

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers. (i would be afraid of me to)

Ergophobia- Fear of work. (thats me i definitaly have this phobia)

Gerontophobia- Fear of old people. (uggh there so old and wrinkly!!)

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (ok who is the horribly mean person who came up with that name! its like hi i have a phobia but im afraid of the word that desribes it.)

Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news. (AHHHHH! your getting married. ahhh! i won 20 million dollars ahhh!)

Nomatophobia- Fear of names. (hi im afraid of my name so im not going to tell u it oh and dont tell be urs unless u like seeing my curled up screaming)

Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything. (ahhh soup. ahhh spoon. ahhh monkey. ahhh breathing! person procedes to hold breath and diie.)

funny stuff!

You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.

i smile because i have no idea whats going on

Im nodding and laughing but Im not listening

How to improve at work

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100.

How about achieving 103? Here’s a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100?

I wonder...
- When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

- Aren’t the ’good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

- If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

- How come popcorn isn’t a vegetable?

- Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

- If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (I put an X by everything I’ve done! Ya I’m honest! Boo YA!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair railsX
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it X
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking X
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking X
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your headX
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself X
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand X(OOPZ)
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull X(my Bad ok I don’t read!)
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push X
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else X (multiple times sadly….)
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs X
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave X (do it its so fun)
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hairX
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble X
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it X
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard X
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name X (names don’t work 4 me….)
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot X (I couldn’t find shoes)
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it onX
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle X(damn quad….)
23. Have run into a closed door X X X X X (to many times 2 count…)
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else (im so proud I can say NO)
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it X
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke X
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk X
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it X
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside X
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else X
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot X (I was making sure the water was boiling!)
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on X
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in X (actually no I didn’t cough cough)
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard X
39. Walked into a pole X (if it wasn’t in the way in the first place we wouldn’t have this problem!)
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident X
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your houseX
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on X
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small X
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. X (I do that constantly)
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it X
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up X
48. Have poked yourself in the eye X
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still onX
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test X
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil X
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it X
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was. X
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were X
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on X
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day. X
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it X
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie X
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa X
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence X
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person X
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side X (try spelling test oppsie!)
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions X
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong X
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it X
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out- X
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught (I never get caught!)X
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the faceX
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb X
73. Ran into a door jam X
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid X
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it X
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band X
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren'tX
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people X
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs outX
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off X
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again X
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.X
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about X X X (multiple people!)
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair X (not my fault I made the comb disappear!)
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone X
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people X (ahh the fun of jello!)
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria X (I only slightly damaged her eye)
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil X
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named themX
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paperX
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing that it wasnt yoursX

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story X
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before X
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling. X
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class X
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

I was honest with u now u be honest with every one else copy and paste this to ur profile and mark all the stupid things u have done!

(U U)o

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies!)

Quotes from ME!!

"Ahhhh! killer ice cream trtuck!" to my friend Aaron on the late bus.

"Ow my foot!" after running into the glass door almost breaking my nose

"jeez i have a headache no a stomach ache no headache actually i feel fine" arguing with my selff...

"I have a twin!" "no" "well why does she look like me" "shan, its a mirror." "oh..." me and my bff


Wheres my back pack?" "I dont know" (like 45 min l8r) "okay its time for an intevention shannon its been on your back for the last 45 minutes" "oh well u should of told me!' "i thought u knew!" "aparently not!" my mom and me!

"okay i swear there was a door there like yesterday." after walking through the screen of my porch.

U need background 4 this one: my friend sydney stole a chicken finger puppett the snack shop and named it her viginity and then Zach took it when we were standing in the middle of the beach and sydney yells: "SHANNON YOUR FRIEND STOLE MY VIRGINITY!" and we proceed to have to go to my dad and my dad has to figure out it sydney in a virgin or not we tried to explain it was a puppett o well. (totaly true! we were hanging out at the beach in rhode island at me beach house. i met them the first day!)

"Yeah...I am gonna steal your pants now..." (me- talking to my bff's little brother max.)

me nd Zach r walking around the beach im not paying attension so i walk into a life gaurd chair(wich held my cousin if ur intrested) in the middle of the beach and fall down and Zach says "holy crap shan are you okay babe? as hilarious as you look i think i should care if you okay you are my crush." I just gape at him he says "Um crap did i say tht outloud im sorry..." then he preceded to try to help me up so i just pulled him down with me lol

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways. ~anonymous

It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes. ~anonymous

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door..."

sterotypes make me angry like these:

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST be a nerd.
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try.
I'm POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.
I have more than 5 friends, so I MUST be a prep
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports.

What not to say when somebody's dad/immediate relative has cancer:

1. I'm sorry should be said only once when the subject is "brought up" (I'm onto your game Abby.) Close friends can stretch this to a maximum of three times.

2. Is there anything I can do? The answer will always be no.

3. What's the prognosis? Why the hell would somebody say that?!

4. I'm sooo sorry, honey. Hello, random old lady. I don't know you!

5. (Insert family member's name) is going to live right? Same principle as "what's the prognosis?"

There are many many others, but those are the main five.

Something from me to you:

Girl: Do i ever cross ur mind
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or ur life
Boy: my life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

You know when you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

Do NOT scroll down any further. For this trick to work, you must say this out loud and look at the following symbols VERY closely...




Now look at your wall and and say STUPID outloud, you will see the shadow of a heart appear.

If you fell for this, copy this to your profile and show the world!! Lol.

You know you did...(damn)

Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile.

Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random (or can be at times) and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you and your friends are the weirdest people in any world out there, copy this onto your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you've ever wondered if you were adopted because of your sibling, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you think that I'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.

If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

"Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary." ~Mark Twain

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." -unknown

"Tip. If your feet are wet, do not Moonwalk across the gym floor. You will fall and hurt yourself. Take it from me."-Hi that was me!(long story.)

(this just in, my mom is painting the bath room, and she asked me to move the ladder closer to her so that she could put the tray down so i did and then when i tried to back out of the room, i hit a wall and then my mom told me to check if i got paint on my self, so i whipped my head around, and when i did my hair swung out. hitting the same wall, "Dont be throwing you hair around ya loser!" and then get this i buret out laughing and said "i got to put that on my profile. )

"Yo momma is so fat, the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!"-sydney from rhode island.

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."-zach from rhoe island-dont ask.

"Did it hurt when I fell from heaven? No, but it hurt when they clipped my wings for being the devil." -Unknown

"Mean people suck, nice people swallow, stupid people choke, and weird people gargle." -zach again-dont ask.

"A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am." -Edmond Rostand(that ones just for you christian.)

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -sydney-i really dont have to explain do i?

"Oh Squiggly line in my eye fluid. I see you there lurking on the periphery of my vision. But when I try to look at you, you scurry away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Why only when I ignore you, do you return to the center of my eye? Oh, squiggly line. It's alright. You are forgiven." -Stewie, Family Guy

"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." -Unknown

sydney: "Six letter word for Zach."
me: "...Faggot!"

Zach: "...both of you, go eat shit."
sydney and me: -happyface-

"OH MY GOD YOU CAN SEE THROUGH MY SHIRT!" -sydney, imitating my aunt.

"Anger is one letter short of danger." -Anonymous

"You're mad, bonkers... but let me tell you a secret. All the best people are." -Alice in Wonderland

"Friendship is one mind in two bodies." ~Menclus

"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates." -Mark Twain

"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." ~Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury

"A broken heart is a heart that has felt love." -Amy Costella

Zach: "What happens in the snack shop, stays in the snack shop."
Me: "Excep ryan. That shit'll follow you."
Zach and sydney: "You read my mind." -Ryan is my cousin.

"I wish I were a white crayon, that way no one could use me." ~Author Unknown

"I can't help looking gay. I put on a dress and people say, "Who's the dyke in the dress?" ~sydney

"There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full." -zach

"Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it." -me to Zach and Sydney-they were haing a stpid pointless fiht that was very entertaining.

sydney: "I could never work at Perverted Justice."
Me: "Well, yeah. Every time you see a cock, you scream and run away."
Zach: "Huh? You don't do drugs or anything, sydney, why are you afraid? Cops are there to help you!"
Me: "I said COCK!"
Zach: "Hehehe. Cocks are there to help you."
sydeny: "What the fuck?"me and zach were currently on the ground laughing.

"A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic." ~Bill Watterson

"If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?"

sydney: "I'm gonna steal shannons swim suit, then go to the snack shop and scream 'GET SOME'!"
Me: "Why would you need my swim suit for that? Besides... you're... and I'm..." -makes movements with hands-
Sydney: "What are you trying to say?"

Zach: "She's trying to say that you can't borrow the swimsuit because she's tall and normal and you're little and fat."
sydney: "FUCK YOU BOTH!"

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."-Scott Adams

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Woody Allen

"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid." -Jack Handey

"Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery." ~Hart Crane

Me: "Yeah, sydney, we need to think of some duets to do at the party."
Sydney: "We could do it differently! Like, we could wing it."
Sydney: "Yes!"
Me: "We could duet 'If You Were Gay.

sydney: "Ahh, a day at home with my favorite T.S. Eliot."
Me: "To be or not to--FUCK, THAT'S SHAKESPEARE, KILL ME."

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." -Mark Twain

Sydney: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Shit happens." -Sydney & I

When you say Forks, I say Volterra.
You say Emmett, I say Aro.
You say Jasper, I say Marcus.
You say Edward, I say Caius.
You say Cullens, I say Volturi.
You say I'm crazy, I say "Takes one to know one".

Do you know how hard it is to say: oh no, were just friends, when all you want to do is scream: I LOVE YOU

I'm the type of girl who tries not to like you, and ends up just falling harder

I don't Run away from you...I walk away slowly and it kills me because you don't care enough to stop me.

They are laughing at us because were Idiots...were laughing at them because they Just figured that out

True love is when you shed tears and still want him, It's when he ignores you and you still love him, It's when he loves another girl and you say your happy for them, even though you just cry...and cry

I'm 99 sure he doesn't like me... it's the 1 that keeps me hanging on

This one's for the girls. Who have ever had a broken heart. Who have wished opon a shooting star. Your beautiful the way you are. This one's for the girls.

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901(actully sexier than everyone since 1901)

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916(stronger than everyone since 1916)

Rosalie Cullen: Better Than You Since 1916(or she thinks that she is.)

Alice Cullen: Quikier Than You Since 1901(quicker than everyone since 1901)

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843(since before that too)

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987(and still is-always will be)

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday

My friends are the kind who would spend hours on end trying to drown a fish.

So there is this thing in life called insanity; me and my girls have gone pro.

Go ahead and rain on my parade, I have a really cool umbrella.

Don't frown when you're sad, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Life's to short to blend in.

Parents spend the first part of your life teaching you to walk and talk, then they spend the rest telling you to sit down and shut up.

We were giving 2 hands to hold, 2 eyes to see, 2 legs to walk, but why only 1 heart? Because the other one was given to someone else for us to find.

One day ur prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

Our eyes are placed in front, because it's always more important to look ahead than back.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks I call my friends.

You laugh now because your 3months older than me, but who will be laughing when ur 30 and I'm still 29?

They say; guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well i think if u stood there and yelled BANG, u wouldn't kill 2 many people.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh when everyone tries to figure out what the heck u did.

When life gives you lemons, chuck 'em at the people you hate.

I'm the kind of girl who falls then apologizes for it.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Just when i was getting used to yesterday, today came along

Friend's will always be like “well you deserve better” but best friends will be prank calling him saying “you will die in seven days”

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

Don’t mess with me - I’ve got a stick.

He said I love you, I sneezed and said sorry I’m allergic to bullshit

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Fun Things To Do In An ELEVATOR!

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

Racism: Stupid, pathetic, idiotic. People need to start accepting or I'm going to start kicking some serious ass! No seriously, if one person says oneword about how Caucasians are better than everyone else, I will not hesitate to swear a blue streak while inflicting serious pain. (Note: I am Caucasian, but that doesn't mean I agree with the others...stupid freakin pieces of...)

War:Again, stupid, pathetic, and just little boys and girls comparing who has the better monster trucks and Barbie dolls! If you guys have a a friggin' chess set!

Child Abuse:You sick, sick bastards! They are children for the love of God! back off 'em cause what'd they ever do to you?!

If you did read this, I thank you for putting up with me and my awful temper, but hey, sometimes a girl just has to speak her mind

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

Every time you open your mouth, you get in trouble. Alternatively, just stick up your middle finger under the table.

I have reviews from teens and you don't. In your FACE James Patterson.

There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.(heh heh see conversation with computer above tehe)

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided

Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had

Yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet

What have you pulled?

If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first.

If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere

If you have pulled a Iggy: You have run into an inaminate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc.

If you have pulled a Nudge: You have talked about something nonstop for the past five minutes, not allowing anyone else to speak. This is also known as rambling.

If you have pulled a Gazzy: You have farted in a big group of people really loudly, and everyone could hear it and smell it.

If you have pulled a Angel: You have invaded someone elses personal space, without any consideration for that person. You can also pull a Angel by gaining a whole lot of useless powers that you don't really need...but I highly recomend the first one.

If you have ever pulled any of these things stick this on your profile and write which ones you have pulled

I haved pulled a Max, a Fang, a Iggy, Nudge, and Angel.(im just fangtastic that way.)lets see if anyone notices that.

Favorite Quotations:

"When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and let the rest of the world wonder how you did it."

"Every book has an ending...but in life every ending is a new beginning"

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."

"People think it must be fun to be a smart, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"

"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or you suck.”

"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"

"Sometimes you need to be strong
For a friend
For your family
Or for yourself...
And other times its okay to cry."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"We may not make good decisions But hell, we make good stories."

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

"Two wrongs dont make a right, but they make a good excuse."

"Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs. "

"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."

"Never memorize something that you can look up."

"Your a good friend and all, but if the zombies come- i'm SO tripping you"

SOME OF MY MANY Favorite Maximum Ride Quotes:

The Director:"'You were designed to be very smart, Max, We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing."
Max: "And yet I still can't program my DVD player,'

"I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!'-Gazzy

"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"-Max

"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"-Iggy

You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! -Fang,SOF

Max: "We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?'
Fang: "She offered to cook breakfast.'"

"Just because wonder boy is stuck to the ground doesn't mean I have to be. I've evolved past being stuck to the ground."-Max STWAOES

Ter Borcht:"Vhy do You let a girl be de leader?"
Fang: "She's the tough one."
Max: Dang right

Ter Borcht"I assume you alvys hold onto someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?
Iggy: Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert.
Max:Write that down, he's a notorious dessert stealer

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us.-Max TAE


"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" –Max

I made one of my famous snap decisions, the kind that everyone remembers later for being either the stupidest dumb-butt thing they ever saw or else the miraculous saving of the day. I seemed to hear more of the first kind. That's gratitude for you. – Max

"Don't ever leave me again." -Max
"I won't. I won't not ever." -Fang

"Afterall, Fnick is superman"- Iggy

I offered to pee on him but they said no"-Iggy

You're kidding,right? Please tell me you have a stronger motive then 'fair is fair.' Life isnt fair, Dean. Nothing is Fair, ever. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you becasue fair is fair? Try 'I need you to help me so i won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I might respond to that. Maybe -Max

Fang:"Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?"
Max:"Why, is your head missing some?"

Fang:"Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."
Max:"Have you been watching Oprah again?"

Ter Borcht:"Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Fang:"Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."

Max:"What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!"
Fang:"Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me. Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it."

"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max

Teacher: This morning i'm going to give a pop quiz about this week's words, just to see where everyone is and where we need to focus
Nudge: Well alright, bring it on. But just so you know i cant spell worth crap.

"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." -Max

"Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." -Fang

"Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren't missionaries." -FBI investigator
"No? Well, for God's sake, don't tell them. They'd be crushed. Thinking they're doing the Lord's work, and all." -Max

"Can we see him?" -Iggy
"Ig, I hate to break this to you, but you're blind." -Max

"Its a baby plane. Its gonna grow up to be seven-forty-seven one day" -Angel

"Fair isn't fair, Dean. Like I'm supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try, "I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it." I might respond to that, maybe." - Max

"Now, let's say they come and get us." -Max
"And, like, the halls are full of zebras."-Ig
"And suddenly tons of bubbles are everywhere." -Gazzy
"And then everyone starts to eat beef jerky," -Nudge
"Yeah. I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent, so people are choking and gagging: and let's throw beef jerky right into their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Ig

"Buckingham Palace? You know, like where the Queen lives. And Mr. Queen?" - Nudge

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (well no shit sherlock!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

Know Thyself: Know your weaknesses, your strengths, your loyalties

No thanks, I already have a penguin.














If you said. . .I will say. . .


. . .Do I care?


. . .why do you always asume that I have no life. I spend an hour on the computer a day, max. There's 24 hours in a day.

. . .I DON'T CARE!

. . .then why are you pming me?


. . .I would gladly forget that I read such an atrocity if you would stop PMing me.


. . .then why did I TELL you there was something wrong with it?


. . .then you need to get your priorities straight.


. . .A bully repeated harrases a person. I review you ONCE, and I'm reviewing your story. Not you.


. . .Thanks for the input :-)


. . .I am working on my stories.


. . .Congratulations :-)

. . .I'M ONLY 9/10/11/12

. . .Congratulations for breaking the site rules! You have to be thirteen, idiot.


. . .I have no idea why you people think it annoys me. However, it does make me laugh, which is perhaps what you were aiming at.


. . . wipes away tears of laughter. I'm not jealous of terrible writing.


. . .So am I, and I know how to write a decent story.


. . .I always, always, always, ALWAYS tell the author what the did wrong. Even if I'm a little rude about it.


. . .Swearing gets my point across. I don't swear too often in real life, mostly because I think it's crude, but it works fine on the internet when I'm talking about a truly shitty piece of work.

If you do this. . .then I will do this. . .

. . .If you BLOCK me

. . .I have puppet accounts


. . .I will laugh.

If I say this, then it means. . .

. . .You are MANGLING the English language and your spelling SUCKS.

. . .Get a spell check

. . .I hate your plot. It's boring and cliched.

. . .You've copy pasted it from somewhere


. . .You A) wrote in all cap locks, B) wrote in all italics, or C) REFUSED to put paragraphs into your chapter(i dont even know.)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Revealed by Kiki1770 reviews
Set in Eclipse- Max was abandoned by the flock, she and Jeb turn into Charlie and Bella Swan and move to Forks. Now three years later, being hunted by a vampire army, pressured for marriage and choosing between wolves and vampires, Max's secrets come out when a certian someone shows up from her past. Who will she choose now? Edward/Max/Fang. Discontinued.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,053 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 8/24/2014 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Max, Fang, Bella, Edward - Complete
Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 103,238 - Reviews: 4223 - Favs: 1,129 - Follows: 829 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Fang, Max
Secrets of the Family Tree by SolidScriptJess reviews
AH. Max and Fang are brother and sister. But what happens when more than brotherly feelings rise up? Max will have to decide between sticking with the lie, or finding out the truth. Her relationship with Fang depends on it. FAX FAX FAX!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 18 - Words: 41,487 - Reviews: 336 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 1/25/2013 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Max, Fang
Impasse by Sharadethia reviews
When Max's encounter with Erasers goes wrong, she lands herself in Princeton-Plainsboro teaching hospital. There she meets the sarcastic, Vicodin-addicted Dr. House and his team. Now COMPLETED!
Crossover - House, M.D. & Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,747 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/29/2011 - Published: 6/21/2010 - G. House, Max - Complete
Maximum Ride: Feel the Music by SarahBelle96 reviews
I hummed the tune and smiled as the calm feeling flowed through me. I slowly started to play my guitar. The melody sounded just about right. I took a deep breath and began to sing. . . SongFic! All human! Max's life as a human! FAX! Plz R&R! Thanks!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 58 - Words: 103,680 - Reviews: 1557 - Favs: 356 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 5/22/2011 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Unrecognizable Faces by werestillflying reviews
When the Flock is found badly hurt by Booth and Bones, they may just have found sanctuary at last. Takes place during SoF. Only BoothxBones & AngelaxHodgins Romance. Maybe some Fax. Read inside for more info. Rated T to be safe
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Bones - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,363 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 5/22/2011 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Max, Fang, T. Brennan, S. Booth
Winter War by wingedwolf1 reviews
This is about the flock's winter. Fax!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,251 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Max, Fang
Unexpected Surprizes by nudgeness15 reviews
nudge just turned 18 and some surprizes come up! IGGY IS NOT BLIND IN ANY OF MY STORIES UNLESS I SAY DIFFERENTLY. haha thanks i only put that in caps bc i wanted u 2 read it. so enjoy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,998 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/5/2010 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Nudge, Iggy
Funny Oneshots by MaXiMuMrIDEisThEbeSTBoOkeVeR reviews
A bunch of funny oneshots. Each chapter is it's own oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,977 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/28/2010 - Published: 12/20/2008
Country Songfics by wingedwolf1 reviews
Maximum Ride songfics. Even if you don't like country, read please. Formerly called Desperation Songfic.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,718 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Max, Fang
Storm Blood by Tears of Constantine reviews
Fang is shot by Angel hunters and Max realizes that the wound had become infected. Now she wants to fullfill his dieing wishes. No matter what they are. Major Fax, this is a high rated t story. I mean what are a dudes final wishes? Romeo and Juliet theme
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,073 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Fang, Max
Come Home by Mrs.CaptainJackSparrow1234 reviews
After Fang's disappearance, Nudge finds comfort from the very person she blames for his absence.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,080 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/17/2010 - Nudge, Dylan - Complete
painted faces by Just the Wind reviews
There is one person in the way of your happily-ever-after. You. LilyxJames FreeVerse.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 324 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Take Me Out To The Ball Game by kdkkkkkkkwkkqqwkdk reviews
Max and the flock take a little trip to a baseball game. Sometimes you gotta thank those Kiss Cams. Cute and fluffy oneshot. FAX! REVIEW!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,029 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
The Amusement Park by DassieCullen reviews
Jacob takes a 5 year old Nessie to the amusement park, Where she meets a human friend, and jake almost looses his temper. Cute Renesmee/Jake One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Forbidden by Fly On Aya reviews
Fang is the opposite of Max: rich, famous,& silent. Now, Max applies to be a maid/nanny for a rich guy. Fang is her boss. Love sparks between them and it's complicated and they deny it. What could be better than a forbidden love? WARNING: SLIGHTLY BIPOLAR
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 29,387 - Reviews: 718 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
Scared Silent by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Once upon a time, Subject 404 was the life of the lab, but one angry scientist changed all that in one instance of rage. A tragic look at how one Flock member may have came to be who he is today. Rated T for violence and Authoress Paranoia.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,090 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 17 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Fang, Jeb B. - Complete
The Bookstore by Scars for Blood reviews
Alice and Jasper take a trip to the bookstore.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,161 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Wow by Oujdagirl reviews
Nessie has to tell Edward that she's getting married. How does Edward react? Set after J's new clients and post BD. Father/Daughter Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,210 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/11/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward - Complete
Stupid Mother Nature by aiming4theMoon reviews
Well Bellas on her period. How will she feel about Edward hovering. hope you like it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 350 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cell Phone by Eclipse-Vamp reviews
Alice gets Jasper a cell phone. He's not too happy about it. Fluffy one-shot. AXJ
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 815 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
I love you by MrsMalfoy14 reviews
It was just a picture. Simply an image. But to her it was a worthy treasure... A photography she held tight, close to her heart… where he could feel how much she loved him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,280 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Published: 8/7/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Peanut Butter by NekoChann reviews
He's part dog, it would only make sense! Disclaimer: Own nothing. Slight!JacobReader
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 113 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/5/2010 - Jacob - Complete
Forever by Strawberry Shortcake123 reviews
Fang asks Max a huge question. Max isn't quite sure. T for minor swearing. Originally a oneshot, now a twoshot!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,296 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/3/2010 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
The Fun Song by itsmidnighthere reviews
This is what happens when Jane sings the FUN song.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Jane - Complete
Bathwater by xXBeckyFoo reviews
It's their 7th year,the Dark Lord's dead and the Death Eaters are all rounded up. Nothing could go wrong, right? There's a sense of peace in the air, but how long can it possibly last when the Ministry's throwing people together for all eternity? Curse the new Marriage Law.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 123,462 - Reviews: 1737 - Favs: 2,584 - Follows: 841 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Bieber Fever by JellyBean130 reviews
It all started when my bestie dragged me to Justin Biebers concert and he pulled me up onto the stage ... now he won't leave me alone!
X-overs - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,197 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 4/28/2010
Fallin' For You by InactiveAccount-95 reviews
Annabeth's thoughts about Percy at the end of The Lightning Thief. Songfic to Colbie Caillat's "Fallin' For You."
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,049 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
One Thing by theSunlitEarth reviews
When Percy Jackson lies in bed at night, alone in the dark, he sees things. Or, more specifically, one thing. A face with piercing gray eyes, framed by soft blonde curls haunts his thoughts, keeping him from sleep.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,274 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Sweet Dreams by CompassLove7 reviews
Anabeth has a nightmare and visits the one thing that comforts her. Post TLO with Percabeth!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Too Evenly Matched by Bookaholic711 reviews
Post TLO: On Percy and Annabeth's first day at camp the following summer, they put on a fight to show the newcomers how it's done. But the pair are too evenly matched for anyone's liking. Oneshot with incomplete second part added and discontinued.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,809 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
All American Girl by ellabella89 reviews
Song fic to Carrie Underwood's All American girl. No wings. Max and Fang meet and fall in love. :D
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,546 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
Press Pause by Littlest Cinnaminion reviews
Little drabbles on different moments in Flock life from everyone's point of view. Review, and give me suggestions! Guess who was bored?
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,015 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 6/19/2010
Faximum Ride: accidentally in love by Julie AV reviews
post MR4 no MR5.max comes up with a way to destroy itex for good.all goes well, for a time. what will happen when something goes wrong&all lives are at stake? R&R to find out, right here.story has major FAXness.all characters in character at all times.R&R
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 47 - Words: 211,856 - Reviews: 1315 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 6/18/2010 - Published: 9/20/2008 - Max, Fang
Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Ever wonder what it's like to be inside Fang's head? Follow Fang's diary as he attempts to tell Max he loves her in just one year, while also trying to save his neck. It's hard to be a guy...Fax. Complete.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 239,551 - Reviews: 8283 - Favs: 1,870 - Follows: 731 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Still by Fly On Aya reviews
Set twenty years after FANG. Max is now 35 years old. Nothing have changed. But, when she receives a mysterious package, she knows she's forgetting something. How can she forget? WARNING: PROFANITY
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,707 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Running by ivyflightislistening reviews
About seventy words about having to jump to your feet and run early in the morning from the flock's point of view. One-shot. "But usually when you wake up and find yourself thinking this, you don't have much of a choice. We sure as hell didn't."
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/24/2010 - Complete
Lollipop by ColorTheSky reviews
What is your price for a new best friend? Foodie.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/13/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Milk and Cookies by scorpiogirl93 reviews
A sweet little moment with Fang and Angel. Pre-series.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 660 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Angel, Fang - Complete
Heaps of Fax by Just the Wind reviews
Fax fluff. This is a one-shot collection. It's full of Fax fluff and a bit of other stuff mostly Fax fluff . Definitely rated M.
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,932 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Fang, Max
Popcorn by ColorTheSky reviews
Who knew, that it's buttery goodness could cost so much damage? Foodie.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,015 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/6/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
I Can Talk by journey21 reviews
I bet you thought the Flock gets along all the time. You thought wrong. Fang gets fed up with the Flock's fighting. Find out what Mr. Silent is really thinking when everyone else is talking. Song fic for I Can Talk by Two Door Cinema Club.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 540 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Fang - Complete
Ten Plus Ten by kikofreako reviews
Max has told me a thousand times... I just need to listen. -fax- Sequel and companion to "Ten Ways."
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,151 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
The Flutter Of Tiny Wings by 7-LunaAbraxos-7 reviews
It's been years since the Flock were on the run, and life has finally settled down. Max can't sleep and her mind wanders to the rest of her flockmates and to the room at the end of the hall... Cute, fluffy, FAX.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
After by kikofreako reviews
Max and 1,471,680,000 heartbeats. You can't fly with one wing, stupid. :directly post-FANG:
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,667 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Ten Things You Never Knew About The Flock by FalselyTrue reviews
What are their deepest, darkest secrets? Things you'd never think them capable of? Ten Things You Never Knew About The Flock...starting with Angel, and ending with Max. Possible Expansion with one-shots.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,770 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/3/2010 - Published: 12/8/2009 - Complete
You can't say that anymore, can you? by JustRawEmotion reviews
Max/Fang drabble. It's Fang's turn to take watch, and Max asks him what's wrong. One-shot. Fang POV.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 486 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
Fang's Sleepover by skierchick18 reviews
Fang has friends! What will they do at a sleepover? FAX. Slight EGGY. Rated T for mild swearing. R&R
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,724 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Fang
Maximum Ride: Speed Demon by journey21 reviews
The flock takes a short break to have some fun. Fang plus racing vehicles equals awesome. One-shot. You know you wanna read it.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,391 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
Fright Night by Maddie-Cakes reviews
The gang has a get together on a stormy night. They encounter some frightening experiences they will never forget.
Outsiders - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,820 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Dallas W., Sodapop C. - Complete
FAX FLUFF by wishihadwings reviews
just like the title says. random fax fluff. with a shirtless iggy included.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,153 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
Just a Piece of Cake by ColorTheSky reviews
What do you think Max will give Fang on his birthday? One-shot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/30/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Animal Crackers by SignedSealedWritten reviews
Bella Swan's identical twin daughters want to leave their foster home and meet their only living parent. Little do they know that Edward Cullen is much less than living.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 50 - Words: 65,461 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 1/28/2010 - Published: 4/16/2008
Commanding Lightning by FalselyTrue reviews
In a futuristic vision, Max learns that she will cause the Flock's deaths. In an attempt to prevent it, she attempts suicide...and fails. Three years later, she commands a special team for a company called Xeti. When the flock joins, all heck turns loose!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 36 - Words: 84,114 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 1/27/2010 - Published: 7/18/2009 - Max - Complete
Just to be Together by Bookaholic711 reviews
Post TLO- Percy and Annabeth return to Camp Half-Blood for the next summer and meet on the beach on their first day back. Sweetness ensues. One-shot.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,212 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
Prank War by AlexPayne reviews
While Carlisle and Esme are away...the Cullen kids and Bella will start a prank war!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,697 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Complete
Beautiful Nightmare by ImmaBeatYouWithaCrowbar reviews
One act of cowardice can take everything away. "I'll never forgive you." "I know."
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/11/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Who's the best? by kuddleer reviews
Nudge and Jacob get into a battle of epic proportions...not what you think.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Nudge, Jacob - Complete
Red Dye and Mind Control by xXCassandraXx reviews
ONESHOT! fang wants to dye his hair.. embarassing ending for him!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Maximum Ride: Passing the Torch by eclipsed heart reviews
Much has changed in the flock after fifteen years. At their second reunion, secrets lurk at every corner and disaster strikes, upsetting the delicate balance of their new lives and thrusting their fate into unprepared wings. SEQUEL TO MR: THE AFTER YEARS!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 55,009 - Reviews: 424 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Max, Brigid D. - Complete
Sweet Dreams by ImmaBeatYouWithaCrowbar reviews
She watches them fly above with a smile, knowing that this is only a dream.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Angel - Complete
Fang's Version of the Notebook by xXCassandraXx reviews
ONESHOT! Fang and Max fall asleep watching The Notebook.. Fang has a dream about the ferris wheel scene. Rated T cause that's what I rate everything.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
The Ultimate Fortune Cookie! by xXCassandraXx reviews
ONESHOT! the flock goes out for chinese food and they all get the perfect fortunes! rated T cause I'm not sure and a little FAXNESS!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,438 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
I'm employing your services as a space heater by Dinomonsterer reviews
Fang, I'm employing your services as a space heater" a short sweet faxy oneshot
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,308 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Maximum Ride: Drabbles by turquoise.seas reviews
--Fax-- Warmth, Reverse
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,990 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 12/12/2009 - Published: 5/15/2008
Max Plus Iggy Equals An Angry Fang by jzazy reviews
Iggy asks Max why Fang and her arent together yet. Max says Fang would never tell her his feelings. So Iggy comes up with a plan to get Fang so jealous he'll explode and tell Max the truth. But will it work? And who wil get hurt along the process?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,196 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 9/4/2009 - Max, Iggy - Complete
Scared To Love by 7-LunaAbraxos-7 reviews
Fang can't tell Max how he feels about her, but can his subconcious persuade him to tell her before it's too late? FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,271 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Cookies 'n Cream by ColorTheSky reviews
One-shot. Someone can't sleep. All because of Home made ice cream. Its a witts battle. But someone wants something else... Who will satisfy their craving first...?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,015 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/28/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Fazy Oneshots by Cullen In Training reviews
Just some faxy oneshots of Max and Fang, 'coz we all love them. Max crying at night, fang comes to comfort her, what will happen?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,756 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Sick Days by Strawberry Shortcake123 reviews
Max gets sick. Fang takes care of her. So who's watching the kids? The blind pyro, of course! This can't possibly turn out well. Chaos, Fax, and now Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 31,144 - Reviews: 898 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 10/28/2009 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Smile by Zikkie reviews
As I start to follow him back to our house, I think, 'I'll get a smile out of you, Fang. Someday.'
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Max, Marriage, and Dr Martinez by Tiffany Damodred reviews
Fang pops the question to Max. What will Dr. M think? Plus, find out what happened with Ella's dad. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,041 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Complete
eclipsed by kikofreako reviews
In one sentence… tell me why you love me. /fax;/ by the author of TEN WAYS. lj's 1sentence challenge
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Why Couldn't a Girl Have Seen me do That? by the status is not quo reviews
ON HIATUS! The Secret of Page 47, Bird Kids, a Treasure Hunter, and a computer geek. What could POSSIBLY go wrong? Told through the eyes of Maximum and through third person focusing on Riley.
Crossover - National Treasure & Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 748 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Riley P., Max
Stuck In The Closet by Here we go again5 reviews
What happens when the flock lock Max and Fang in a closet together? Will they admit their true feelings? Takes place during The Final Warning. FAX.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,151 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 7/1/2009 - Max, Fang
Revival by x.Dancing.Queen.x reviews
After Scipio Bellorum is defeated, Thirrin has nearly everything she's ever dreamed of: a glorious battle under her belt, strong allies.... and a certain warlock who she thought she'd never see again.
Icemark Chronicles - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,133 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Oskan W., Thirrin L. - Complete
Screwdriver by Zikkie reviews
Iggy and Nudge make a play about Max and Fang's future...
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 18 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Three Moments by Strawberry Shortcake123 reviews
Fang's POV of what I view as the three most important moments in his and Max's relationship. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,350 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Good Morning Sunshine! by clr8675309 reviews
Four words: Food fight and FAX! What more could you need? :
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,679 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
FatherDaughter Moments by greyskys reviews
The Voice and Max arguing about Fang and Max's relationship. Snappy, witty, and all together as Maxish as I could get it at 1 in the morning. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Max, Jeb B. - Complete
Rating by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Fang, bored, starts to rate girls walking by along with Gazzy and Iggy. The trio gets more than they bargained for when a familiar-looking girl walks by. Fax, oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,844 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 573 - Follows: 99 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Thunderstorms by Sadie193 reviews
The Flock are stuck in an abandoned house during a thunderstorm and Max has to get over her fears. Random Fax oneshot. Read and review please.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,503 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/31/2009
Bathroom Romance by Renesmee Carlie Cullen Girl reviews
what happens when inuaysha and kagome get trapped in kagome's bathroom while no one is at home? well maybe you can get something from the tittle - inukag - oneshot
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 21,386 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/6/2009 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Inuyasha, Kagome H. - Complete
Slight Tingling Sensation by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Max attempts to get Fang to wear a face mask. "Attempts" being the key word. Oneshot, Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,472 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 31 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
Yo Mamma by alittlefaithinme2 reviews
During the fight in BD. Better than it sounds. A war of yo mamma jokes. Who will win?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Emmett, Demetri - Complete
Emmett Plays with Matches by Becca159 reviews
Emmett makes a mistake and Alice is mad. She destroys Emmett's Jeep. Revenge war ensues! Post BD One-Shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,207 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Emmett, Alice - Complete
Chocolate by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Fang discovers what he can do when he takes Max's chocolate hostage. Oneshot, Fax, and a bonus for anyone who can figure out how to get the chocolate back.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,376 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 44 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
Locked by july rain reviews
Fang and Max are locked in a closet... Fax oneshot, also posted on dA.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Fang, Max - Complete
Overwhelming Fear and Love by Raven-Rach reviews
Oneshot Fax. "Have you ever felt so much overpowering emotion at once that you feel sick? Emotions that you convince yourself are fear as opposed to love? But how long can you live in denial?"
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Published: 11/10/2008 - Complete
Blizzard Heart by Tears of Constantine reviews
Max goes to go find food for the flock in a total white out, with Fang.Then they are caught by a Avalanche then there stuck in the same snow cave together. As Max goes crazy with worry,Fang might be using the situation to his advantage. To win her heart
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,285 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 11/9/2008 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Complete
Falling Rose Petals by notepads reviews
I hesitated before picking the rose up, inattentively twirling it between my fingers. I uncertainly picked a petal off. "He loves me," I murmured. "He loves me not." I picked another petal off, watching it gracefully drift to the top of my desk.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,788 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/10/2008 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Max, Fang
Roller Skating Is Not My Thing by up and coming writer reviews
A cute oneshot. Who knew Max couldn't roller skate? Well Fang decides to help her out. FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,234 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/7/2008
Seven minutes in Heaven or Hell by After17 reviews
Seven minutes can be a long time when you’re locked in a closet with a Greek God. BXE. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,073 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Guy by dragongoddess13 reviews
Max gets an email on the perfect guy and realizes that's exactly what she's got. MAJOR FAX!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
Laundry by Saiyachick reviews
Not even Edward can save Bella from her accident proneness.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 23 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Lost Love Chronicles by EdwardAddict reviews
We know Max and Fang have chemistry as teenagers, right? Who's to say they didn't have the same feelings when they were younger? Join the tales of a forgotten childhood and repressed romance. DISCONTINUED.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,087 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Fang, Max - Complete
tears by Maximum Ride all the way reviews
what if the one thing that would save your one true love was a tear a single tear. BUt that one tear was the only thing you could not give her ONESHOT FAX Revised
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
If you Asked Me if I Loved Him by AllytheThird reviews
Songfic-Max is depressed. I'd Lie, by Taylor Swift.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Complete
Just Tell Him by dragongoddess13 reviews
Sometimes actions speak louder then words."
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 827 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Fang, Max - Complete
Reunion by hbowe08 reviews
This is about Max's daughter Lucy and her journey to the 20th flock reunion. She wants to find out about her fathers mysterious past and the family she has never known. But now Max must choose between going to get her daughter and facing her past. :: COMPLETE
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 29 - Words: 26,635 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 5/20/2008 - Published: 8/23/2007 - Complete
The Plastic Spoon Wars by AGrizzlyBear reviews
What happens when the Cullens find plastic spoons?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 736 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/15/2008 - Complete
I Miss You by IkissedDraco2010 reviews
Hermione Misses Draco, I Own Nothing But The Plot Song I Miss You By Miley Cyrus
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,794 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Published: 4/22/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
You Realize That This Means War? by LaLaFaery reviews
Bella wages war against an unlikely, wallpaper-covered opponent... with Edward's head.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 425 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/12/2008 - Complete
I Hope You Dance by Just a bit crazy13 reviews
Set in the second book when the flock are at Anne's. My first Fan fic ever. Max gets asked to a dance. Chappie 11 up! It the part you've all been waiting for. Rated t for language.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,626 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 7/21/2007 - Fang, Max
Rose by turquoise.seas reviews
That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet... Shakespeare.FAX oneshot.. major fluff!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,835 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Complete
Truth or Dare? by Moony44 reviews
Max and the flock join Ella for her birthday sleepover. When Truth or Dare is suggested, everyone agrees to play. And Max really can't turn down a dare, can she? FangMax. Twoshot. Completed.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,050 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 8/23/2007 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Complete
Love is Just a Swing Away by EdwardAddict reviews
Jeb recently bought a swingset for the Flock to try to help them live normal childhoods. What can come from a swingoff battle of the sexes? Fax Oneshot
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 905 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/6/2007 - Published: 7/11/2007 - Fang, Max - Complete
Extraordinary by Wings of Water - SKYE reviews
Max wants to tell Fang the truth but she's not sure if she's extraordinary enough for him! Song fic, Extraordinary. FxM
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,715 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/19/2007 - Max, Fang - Complete
Pool Wars by newmoon1220 reviews
Bella goes swimming with the Cullens in their pool after dusk. But the experience soon becomes a war between the Cullens as she becomes the monkey in the middle :D Entertaining, Fluffy, and Funny!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,397 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 4/9/2007 - Published: 4/3/2007
Never Trust Angel When She Says She Can't Sleep by not magical me reviews
Angel convinces Max to sing, with much diffculty.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/26/2007 - Complete
Word Games by theultimateshipper reviews
Max and Fang play Word Association. There's more, but I don't know how to summerize it. Read and Reply please! I changed my mind, it's a series now.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 3/12/2007 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Pure and Undefiled by Nightwingstar reviews
I can imagine you standing in front of me, strong and brave. All around you, snow is falling, slow and silent, Pure and Undefiled.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 564 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/29/2006 - Complete
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A minute in time reviews
Just moments in the flock.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 588 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/15/2010
coming back reviews
max was taken. eight years later, Max's new flock of 12 finds Max's old flock of...6? wait whats wrong with this picture? FAX!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,820 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 6/20/2010 - Max, Fang
After Fang left reviews
When Fang left, He took a peice of Max with him. Now Max sits in a dark room and tries to forget about a love that is unforgettable.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,185 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Maximum Gods reviews
After STWOES and Sea of monsters. The flock is flying over the waters outside of Camphalfbood when Flyboys desend on them, so what happens when six new kids and a talking dog show up on the shores of camp half blood?
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,524 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Max
Fallin for you reviews
Shuler Rosh's mother is the new assistant of Mr.Howard, the owner of a popluar recording studio. During a fundraiser Jusin Beiber comes to sing, ans who gets suck with housing him while he's there? Well Shuler Rosh of course!
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,731 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 7/19/2010
Thinking of you reviews
Maybe there is a way...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Max, Fang
I remember reviews
no words sorry people
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 235 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Complete
The talkheaven help us reviews
Have you ever wondered what happend when Jeb gave Max, Fang, and Iggy the talk? find out here. and see what happens when they try to give the kids 'the talk'...god help us. FAX later
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,107 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Max, Fang
My forever reviews
The flock have died. but there IS something on the other side
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 576 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Baby reviews
Max and Fang have a baby!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,635 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Max - Complete
Fallen reviews
The great Maximum Ride has fallen.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 494 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Max
Maximum Ridesummers of long ago reviews
Maximum Martinez has always been a girl of high social standing until she met Fang Ride. a hard working boy from seabrook island, South carolina. when the two fall in love, what horrible injustisce will tear them apart, and maybe forever.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 348 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/28/2010 - Max, Fang
chatroom secrets reviews
let max fang iggy nudge gazzy angel and ella into a chat room and see what happens
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 758 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Max
finding you reviews
the world has been taken over, by the souls...and now Maximum Ride has been caught. but we all know max. and when has she ever given up? now she must fight to save the ones she loves, from inside...
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Host - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,793 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 6/20/2010 - Max
The parent trap:winged version reviews
max and fang had kids, but when they split they each took a kid. now 13 years later, Thorn and Rose meet at summer camp. so what happens when they switch and make a scheme worthy of there parents?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,712 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/14/2010 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Max, Fang
the best years of our lives reviews
max and fang have split up, and now on a rainy day they take a moment to rember eachother suck at summerises sorry
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete