Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
Stephanie Meyer owns the majority of the stuff in my fanfics E.g Characters, qoutes, parts from her twilight saga books. No copyright intended.
About Me (There Isn't Alot)
Birthday: 16 june 1993
Favourite Authors: Stephanie Meyer, Jane Austin,
Favourite Book(s): Twilight Saga sookie stack house, night world, morganvile vamprives
Favourite Band(s): Paramore
Favourite Singer: taylor swift
Favourite Movie(s): Twilight saga set so far
Favourite type of Fanfictions: Edward is the teacher and belle is the student, Romeo and Juliet type twilight
(='.'=) This is Bunny
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
IF YOU WANT BELLA TO BE A VAMPIRE COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU THROW A FIT WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THE TWILIGHT CHARACTERS AREN'T REAL COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU BELIEVE THERE IS A EDWARD CULLEN OUT THERE FOR YOU COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU ARE ADDICTED TO VAMPIRES AND WANT TO BE ONE COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
If you've ever argued with yourself and lost copy this onto your profile
If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless copy this onto your profile
98 of teens would scream if they saw the Jonas Brothers on a roof top. Post this if you are part of the 2 that would shout JUMP!!
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
copyy this to your profile if you are against abortion!!
Girl: Do i ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
I love this
PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
i placed this coz my cousin gay and i think people who have homophobia just need to get a life
1. Vampire or Werewolf ?- Vampire
2.Angela or Jessica ?- Angela
3.Mike or Tyler ?- none
4.Rosalie or Tanya ?- Rosalie
5.Twilight,New moon,Eclipse or Breaking Dawn ?- all of them
6.Jane or Alec and Why ?-Alec becuase in the book new moon he doesn't try to hurt Edward like Jane does.
7.Which are you the lion or the lamb ?- The lamb
8.What do you think was in the box when she dropped it from getting a paper-cut in new moon ?- Plane Tickets to Phoenix
9.Robert or Taylor ? -Robert
10. Jackson or Robert? - robert
This Is About The Child Abuse That Goes On In The World.
My name is Tiffany, I am three,
My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,
I must be stupid; I must be bad,
What else could have made, My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy, would still want to hug me,
I can’t do a wrong, I can’t speak at all,
Or else im locked up, All day long,
When im awake im all alone,
The house is dark, My folks aren’t home,
When my mommy does come home, I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get, One whipping tonight,
I just heard a car, My daddy is back,
From Charlie’s bar,
I try to hide, From his evil eyes,
I’m so afraid now, I’m starting to cry,
He finds me weeping, Calls me ugly words,
He says it’s my fault, He suffers at work,
He slaps and hits me, and yells at me more,
I finally get free, And run to the door,
He’s already locked it, And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me, Hard against the wall,
I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken,
"I’m sorry!", I scream, But its now much to late,
His face has been twisted, Into a unimaginable shape,
The hurt and the pain, Again and again,
O please God, have mercy! O please let it end!
And he finally stops, and heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor,
My name is tiffany, I am three,
Tonight my daddy, Murdered me
You can help to stop this for others.
And if you read this and don’t pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be
One heartless person to not be effected
By this poem and because you are effected,
Do something about it! So all I ask you to do
Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse.
you can help to stop this for others.
And if you read this and don’t pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be
One heartless person to not be effected
By this poem and because you are effected,
Do something about it! So all I ask you to do
Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse.
this is for fun
1.YOUR REAL NAME: Mischa
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):Misizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Black cornsnake
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): nicole treffry
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name) stomisarn
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): red vodka
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): ionaekn
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): marie ann
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):Black raksha
Please read this poem that I found. I think it really says something,
so if you are someone who thinks that you are better than someone else,
You ARE wrong. Because we are all human, and each life is worth the same,
No matter where we come from, what tongue we speak in, nor how we look.
So please read this poem. Thank you. A lot.
Don't you just hate sterotypes? the bold ones relate to me!
Bold the ones that fit you
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN (part), so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy (ok, the crazy part may b a bit true...)
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser
I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
i'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver
i act freaking CRAZY so i must be craving attention.
i LAUGH ALL THE TIME so i must be a party girl.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A NEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I agree with some cases of ABORTION so i MUST be heartless (If its a rape case or the mom may die...)
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak.
I know I'm not perfect,
I know I'm a geek, in many ways,
I know I listen to "Weird" bands,
I know I like to read,
I know I like school, even teachers.
I know I have true friends,
I know I'm loved,
I know who I love,
I know I can overcome ups and downs.
And I know who I am.
Anything else you'd like to throw at me?
Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.
Calling me Stupid, won't make you Smart.
Calling me Weak, won't make you Strong.
Calling me Ugly, won't make you Pretty.
Calling me Poor, won't make you Rich.
Calling me Fat, won't make you Perfect?
So why bother?
REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!!
(I am soooo still 5, like it's not even funny :p)
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
>He told his friends that it was cool,
>And when he pulled the trigger back,
>It shot with a great, huge crack.
>Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
>I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
>When I went to school that day,
>I never said good-bye.
>I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
>When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
>And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
>Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
>And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
>And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
>And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
>And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
>Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
>Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
>And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
>Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
>But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
>And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
>I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
>Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
>But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
>When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
>please listen to me if you would,
>I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
>I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
>I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
>I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
>But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
>Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
>I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
>And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
~Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...~
Funny things I laughed at
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
friends are God's way of apologizing for family
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
my friends say 'look a birdy' behind me in the lunch room then my goldfish are gone!!
people like u r the reasons we have middle fingers
your a great friend but, if zombies are chasing us im triping you...
But if vampires r chasing us, trip me, i'll b fine!
good friends dont let you do stupid this...alone
No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you
i am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
“Yes she will! Bella loves me! Cause I’m her secret lover that’s carrying her love child!” Emmett screamed. (Quot from: Fate by bobbypigirl101)
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
-I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!-
-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls...and pulls...people...and off the occasional cliff
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
One for the Girls!!
1) A couple is lying on the bed. The man says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
2) Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN.
3) What does it mean if a man is in your bed gasping for breath and screaming your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. (this one is just hilarious)
Stupid Racist People...
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
If you ever HAVE slapped someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want the actors and celebrities of Hollywood to be smarter and better role models, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. (all the time)
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
5 Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it.
3. The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... (HOT DAMN! DX This thing is psychic!)
5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face. (Well..well...yeeaah...)
30 reasons why girls are the best:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. It took the vilest, most evil creature in the universe to convince Eve to eat the apple but it only took a woman to convince Adam.
Hail 'em ladies, betches!
Smart-ass Comebacks to those Corny Pick-up Lines:
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life: in your wildest dreams.
HE: Your place or mine?
SHE: Both, you go to yours and I'll go to mine.
HE: Does beauty run in your family?
SHE: Well it obviously doesn't run in yours.
HE: I can see forever in your eyes.
SHE: But all I can see is never in yours.
HE: I looked up beatiful today in the thesaurus and your name was included.
SHE: Thanks! I saw your name next to jerk.
HE: You're like a dream.
SHE: Go back to sleep.
HE: What do I have to give you for one little kiss?
HE: I want to give myself to you.
SHE: Sorry, but I don't accept cheap gifts.
HE: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
SHE: Yeah, but this time, don't stop.
HE: I think you're th best looking girl here.
SHE: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then.
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Sure, but only if you buy my girlfriend one too.
I'm not lesbian, but this was fucking funny =))
I don't care if you're gay or straight; everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness; everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty; everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white; everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird; everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor; everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different; everybody is. -- Repost this if you agree with it.
.-.//-\\.-.-like Nick Jonas
Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love
My Mother Taught Me…
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"