Lovely Lady Lunatic
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Joined 04-08-10, id: 2320088, Profile Updated: 05-16-10
Author has written 4 stories for Lord of the Flies, and Fullmetal Alchemist.

Hi, people! My name is Lovely Lady Lunatic, and if you like my work, I LOVE YOU!! ((: Please don't steal my wonderful, beautiful plots or my awesomely insane original characters!!

Story Info

Current OCs:

Joe Joseph, aka Mr. JoJo

40 years old. A crossdressing, eccentric, overly friendly, middle aged science teacher. He usually wears a giant sombrero, black spandex, dining gloves, high heeled boots, and a cape rather than a shirt. Not an OC to be taken very seriously.

Sasha Arnette

16 years old. A beautiful but extreamly childish teenage psychic. Her hair is blood red, her eyes are purple, and she has golden brown skin. She lives on Shaloma Island, a speck of land so tiny that it isn't on any map. She usually wears a white tank top and tan short shorts. She can't remember the first 10 years of her life, so she has the approximate maturity of a very intelligent 6 year old. Her memory is awful, so she often has to resort to nicknames, most of which are unintentionally offensive.


20 years old. A tiny black demon kitten with blood red eyes. His past is a bit dark. He is very powerful, but it's hard to take him seriously. He srongly dislikes water and the nickname "Fluffy." He was turned into a cat after he died nine times. His true form looks alot like a younger version of Eclipse from Demon Diarys.

Works in progress:

After reading a reveiw from my buddy Master Mushroom King, I decided that The Medium didn't have enough flow to it. He and I have now come up with an improved (hopefully) version of The Medium called The Messenger of Truth. If you haven't read The Medium yet... Good. Don't.

Stuff about moi

Favorite books: Harry Potter, Twilight, A Little Princess, and Inkheart

Favorite movies: Lord of the Rings, Juno, Prom Night, and Indiana Jones

Favorite video games: Mario!! I like Legend of Zelda too, but it's so HARD...

Favorite musical: The Sound of Music! I watch it with my wonderful mother (:

Favorite animes: Full Metal Alchemist, but I HATED the end. SOO SAAAD!! ))): it's the only anime that I can correctly pronounce the names of the characters. I like Pita-Ten too, it’s adorable!

Favorite characters: Robert Chase (House MD) Sirius Black (Harry Potter) and ENVY!! (Full Metal Alchemist)

Hobbies: Drawing, reading, writing, pacing, talking to my amigas, and listening to music

Things I Hate: BEES, Non-stop nagging, people walking REALLY SLOW in front of me, and people who are mean

Random Stuff

I have red hair.

I am left handed. Only 10 percent of the population is left handed. Left handed people are more likely to be born geniuses. They are also more likely to be schizophrenics.

I am slightly insane, according to my peeps. But really, who is to judge what is normal and what isn't?


I talk alot.

Funny stuffs (:

You gotta copy this into your's HYSTERICAL...

These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh, go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Some Things Not to Do at Hogwarts!! :)

1. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp (a dance involving the pelvic thrust) will not earn me any House points.

2. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout, "I have the power!”

3. “Y’all check this here out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to perform an experimental spell.

4. It is not necessary to yell, “Burn!” every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.

5. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

6. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice.

7. I will not sing, “We’re off to see the wizard!” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

8. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

9. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

10. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing Little Shop of Horrors music.

11. It is not necessary for me to yell, “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.

12. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.

13. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug a Slytherin Day.

14. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.

15. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt.

16. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

17. “Draco Malfoy takes it up the arse!” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant…

18. I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

19. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles.”

20. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.

21. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

22. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps. (But how cool would that be??)

23. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.

24. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.

25. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup.

26. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.

27. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

28. “OMGWTF!” is not a spell.

29. I will not follow Potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.

30. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort..

31. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

32. If asked in class about Avada Kedavra, yelling, “It does DEATH!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should answer.

33. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force.”

34. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.

35. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin mascot.

36. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of good versus evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, “There can be only ONE!”

37. I should not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine.”

38. I will not say, “Dude, get a life,” to Lord Voldemort.

39. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

40. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.

41. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “firewhisky.”

42. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.

43. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

44. Seamus Finnigan is not “After me Lucky Charms!”

45. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.

46. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write, “I told you I was hardcore.”

47. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Double Edged Blades by Kallypso reviews
Cara, a thief, wants to survive as long as possible with her mysterious condition. Chloe, a blind runaway alchemist, wants to live without being a burden. They meet Elric brothers and decide to use them to find the philosopher's stone, and cure their conditions. But Cara's disease might be more complicated than she thought, a double edged blade she cannot escape. R&R
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 55 - Words: 148,689 - Reviews: 447 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 4/28/2014 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Edward E., Envy - Complete
Fireflies by Pineapple Inc reviews
-Testing the boundaries, strange. How could I come up with this?- Between Envy dying and coming to Earth, you all decide. Was having a grandfather great or what? Read and review! Oh and read my author notes!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,885 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 4/5/2011 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Albus D., Envy
FMA Mad Libs by Just Leah reviews
Exactly what the title says! I love all the people who reviewed! But still remember that I need reviews for this to work! It should be funny! Rated T just in case.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 16,846 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/3/2011 - Published: 5/13/2010 - Complete
Lightning strike by Kallypso reviews
Being stuck with Ed isn't great when you have the same temper. The other dangerous stuff can be bad too I guess. I've seen alot in my life and have had hard learned lessons. But nothing prepared me for this insanity. Envy/OC later! R&R! REVISING!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 95,917 - Reviews: 460 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Edward E., Envy - Complete
Ashes by Kallypso reviews
I'm not supposed to be here. This world isn't mine but I'm still stuck. And I have a voice in my head and an old scar that refuses to let me forget to boot. Lovely. All I know is I need to get out of here before I snap. Sequal to Lightning Strike! R&R!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 41,070 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Edward E., Envy - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Medium reviews
If a freaky, faceless dude calling himself the Truth promised you everything you ever wanted with the only condition that you had to save the world, wouldn't you accept?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,266 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/16/2010 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Edward E., Alphonse E.
The Messenger of Truth reviews
It isn't a good idea to bargain with the devil. Or God, for that matter. Everyone knows this. So why, WHY did I do it anyways? Rated T for potty mouths and some violence.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,537 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/16/2010 - Edward E., Alphonse E.
The Lord of the XDressers reviews
When a hyperactive, crossdressing science teacher and his misfit class crash their homemade flying machine on the island, everything changes. Rated T for extremely teenager-ish humor and a LOT of weirdness.
Lord of the Flies - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 969 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/14/2010
A More Simple Version of the Lord of the Flies reviews
A way cooler version of the Lord of the Flies. My first fanfic ever!
Lord of the Flies - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 428 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Complete
Kallypso (16)