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Joined 04-11-10, id: 2324001, Profile Updated: 11-30-17
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.

I'm a man of many different shapes, all of them round in one regard or another.

I've never been to Constantinople, which is a shame. Perhaps I'll settle for Istanbul.

I don't often stub my toe, but when I do I cry.

Writing stories is the worst and I don't recommend that anyone try it.

I'm the least interesting man in the world.

Although Chuck Norris can swim on land, I can swim in water and other liquids of similar relative density.

As I pirate, I've never had to brush my teeth. But I do so often to prevent gingivitis and halitosis. You're welcome.

One time, I got this close to touching a squirrel.

I look like the kind of person who spent their entire life in a room eating saltine crackers and now here I am.

I've shamelessly ripped off this profile style from boomvroomshroom, and there's nothing they can do about it.

I'm a rebel with a cause.

However, I'm neither a joker, a smoker, nor a midnight toker.

I am a proud citizen of the country of What, regardless of what Samuel L. Jackson says.

I've followed and favorited myself, but I still never know when new updates are going to be posted.

I'm a very private person, so never read any of my personal information.

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Sage by Digitize27 reviews
When Naruto is given a gift considered legendary even in a world where walking on water is a daily occurrence for some, will it lead him on a path towards peace or will the consequences of said gift leave a hole in his heart too large to fill?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 93 - Words: 511,296 - Reviews: 7657 - Favs: 12,435 - Follows: 8,913 - Updated: 11/13/2016 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Naruto U., Fū, OC - Complete
Crack Whims by firefly reviews
Odd pairings. Whimsical humour. Somewhat disturbing scenarios. It's what you'll find here in this collection of crack drabbles.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 31,415 - Reviews: 1529 - Favs: 1,365 - Follows: 788 - Updated: 6/22/2015 - Published: 1/1/2008
Ghost by Onmysignalunleashwords reviews
"Her face. I remember her face." A boy trained to kill is brought into the light. Grey, different Naruto heavily stealth based and Root trained, but not in the traditional sense. How will he cope with that most dangerous of foes: emotion?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 63 - Words: 210,265 - Reviews: 1961 - Favs: 3,339 - Follows: 2,185 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Naruto U. - Complete
Quotidian by firefly reviews
When she accepted the graveyard shift of border patrol, Temari expected to find nothing but snakes and scorpions nestled between the dunes of dark sand. Amongst them, the last thing she expected to find was a missing nin out for a midnight prayer.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 75,748 - Reviews: 902 - Favs: 1,186 - Follows: 424 - Updated: 5/22/2008 - Published: 1/8/2007 - Temari, Hidan - Complete
The Window by SilverShine reviews
Kakasaku Sakura always wanted to see Kakashi unmasked. This was a bit much though...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 165,171 - Reviews: 5723 - Favs: 7,153 - Follows: 2,296 - Updated: 1/2/2008 - Published: 9/20/2006 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Face Value by firefly reviews
In the three days she has remaining to dispose of her target, Temari has to make a choice: stick to protocol and accomplish the mission, or sate her fascination with a certain missing Falls nin. Kakuzu x Temari.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,952 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 529 - Follows: 71 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Temari, Kakuzu - Complete
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A Painful Path reviews
Madara didn't intend to destroy Konoha when he summoned the Kyuubi. His true plan was to obtain a weapon without equal, and thanks to the Yondaime that was what he now had. Born as one of the Akatsuki, and armed with the eyes of the Rikudō Sennin, Naruto must now find a way to achieve the impossible. To see his master's goal realized and bring peace to the world. Rinnegan!Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 56,191 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 622 - Follows: 679 - Updated: 11/28/2017 - Published: 4/7/2013 - Naruto U., Konan
Something Scary reviews
Young and alone Naruto is corrupted Kyuubi's evil influence, becoming the very monster that Minato died to seal away. With the power of the nine tails in his grasp, only one man can save Naruto from his inner demon, the legendary super pervert Jiraiya.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 85,295 - Reviews: 670 - Favs: 1,207 - Follows: 1,117 - Updated: 3/6/2013 - Published: 4/13/2010 - Naruto U., Jiraiya