MsDayDream
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Joined 04-12-10, id: 2324528, Profile Updated: 06-24-11
Author has written 7 stories for Twilight, La Corda D'Oro, and Hunger Games.

Cover: The Cold Ones

My Full name is Stefanie Lyana Rivera-Asuncion, but that too long so you an call me MsDayDream, or DayDee, sometimes i use the name Yuria Haruno in some chat sites.

I LOVE WRITING, though writing doesn't LOVE ME >.YES i'm a frustrated writer of FanFictions in the usual genre Romance. My Fave Anime of all time is La Corda d'Oro, Vampire Knight, and NarutoI'm also hooked with Stephenie Meyers' Twilight Saga. I Love watching Jang Geun Seok's movies and dramas, my fave among all is Marry me, Marry, You're beautiful, and Baby and Me.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean (to all the people who judge me)

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up...

When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end

To my cousin: I have more fictional boyfriends than you do.

I'll be your Bella if you'll be my Edward

Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

To my soulmate: Wait 'til there's someone to cry about, someone to fight it out, someone to say you're the reason they breathe

It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess aroundon her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about

Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss thebest part of the story

Dear Jacob. I win. Sincerely, Edward...
Dear bloodsucker, I got your daughter, sincerely Jacob

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Me: Someday your prince will come
Random girl: What about your's?
Me: Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions

just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly

We are like butterflies because we don't live long

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

╔══╦╦╦╦╦╗╔╦═╦╦╦══╗
╚╗╔╣║║║║║║║║║╩╠╗╔╝
Ѽ
─║║║║║║║╚╣╠╗║║║║║─

─╚╝╚══╩╩═╩╩═╩╩╝╚╝─

╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder! Place this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it too!

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? Blue
3. Your first initial? M
4. Your month of birth? July
5. Which color do you like more, black or white? white
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. Lyane
7. Your favorite number? 3
8. Do you like California or Florida more? California
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? Lake
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). I want to be successful in life

Alright, answer time!

1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do (A real boyfriend):

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and don't let go

When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong

When she ignores you, Give her your attention

When she pull's away, Pull her back

When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers

When she re-post this bulletin, she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's OK don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Tease her and let her tease you back

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

Give her the world

Let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important

Kiss her in the pouring rain

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's but am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.Text you

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

a black man walks into A bar, a white man walks in and says
"No colored people in here"
The black man says,
"When I'm born, I'm black
when i grow up, I'm black,
when I'm ill, I'm black
when I'm in the sun, I'm black
when I'm cold, I'm black
when I'm dead, I'm black
When your born, your pink,
when you're growing up, you're white
when you're ill, you're green
when you're in the sun, you're red
when you're cold, you're blue
when you're dead, you're purple,
now tell me you're not colored!"
If you want to abolish racism, copy and paste this onto youre profile!!

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus' arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
One soul who can never find his or her mate

Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.)

1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.
26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
43. Swat at flies that don't exist.
44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.
45. Lay in the elevator in a sleeping bag with your pillow in your pajamas with one of those eye mask things on, and pretend to be asleep and snore loudly.

Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

Cutest Thing Ever…

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein

"A synonym is just a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of" -reader's digest

"Perfect men are only fictional." that is why we love imperfect men perectly.

"Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you're a mile away, and have their shoes."

"Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within"

"My knight in shining armor turned out to be just a loser in aluminum foil"

"When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you"

"You don't die of a broken heart...you only wish you did"

"Friends are Gods way of apologizing to us for our families”

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more"

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer

Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter

Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

Try not to cry
Mommy, Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears and boys that are won't make you cry

we all love surprises.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

" It's just strange how the evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Best friend isnt a lable, its a promise

a best friend sees the biggest of smiles and always nows if somthing is wrong

when someone makes you cry a best friend say nothing comforting but grabs a bat and goes to find the jerk

A great boyfriend sees you in the morning in sweats and a t-shirt hair messed up, no make up, and completely out of it ( yup thats me in the morning) takes you in his arms holds you close, and when he tells you you're beautiful, and he means it

dont fall in love with someone you can live with. fall in love with someone you cant live without

a good friend jumps off a bridge after you, a great friend jumps off the bridge with you

a good fried will buy you another twinkie when somone steals yours a great friend will push the jerk off the bridge

a good friend will comfort you when you run into an ex, a best friend will put the car in revers and back over that jerk

REARRANGE THE LETTERS

Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

My name is Bella by Renesmee678 reviews
bella is abused by her father Charlie when they were left by Renee. it's pretty sad and you might cry.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,204 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Bella
I love you, do you? by Renesmee678 reviews
Summary: Edward is a millionaire, an owner of a famous italian restaurant and heartbroken Bella a selfless clumsy beautiful religious girl.All Human .
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,742 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 5/14/2010 - Edward, Bella
The Mafia Prince and Assassin Princess by teamvamp1 reviews
Edward is the heir to the Cullen Mafia, Bella is and ex Cia assassin what happens when they meet? Love, drama, bloodshed, with a little humor and lots of lemons E/B J/A EM/R AH some OOC especially Bella and Edward. full summary inside...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,246 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 9/16/2010 - Edward, Bella
It's never too late by Renesmee678 reviews
Edward and Bella are lovers. Please read. ONE SHOT
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,199 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
New York Love by Srorywriter101 reviews
Edward is a Mafia boss, Bella is a waitress studying Ballet. What happens when he decides he wants her? Will Bella give in? Set in New York, all human. Rated M for lemons. Mainly E/B, but some forced J/B. WARNING; Dark Jacob.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 21,423 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 5/19/2010 - Published: 2/24/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Salut d'Amour by melancholywhite reviews
It's finally June and it's time for Kahoko to go to England! What will happen to Azuma and Kahoko's relationship when Len comes into the picture? Let's see what happens in this awaited sequel of Serenade! Rated T for a reason. Azuma x Kahoko
La Corda D'Oro - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 29,885 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 3/31/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009 - [Azuma Y., Kahoko H.] Len T. - Complete
Dear Kahoko by season's call reviews
A letter, where the SEISO prince poured his heart out and expressed his feelings for the only girl ever to touch his heart. Dedicated to all the Yunoki fans out there.....Love is not always about being together. It's sometimes about making sacrifices too.
La Corda D'Oro - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,363 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Azuma Y., Kahoko H. - Complete
The Effects of Cutting Azuma's Hair by Glass-Half-Full reviews
Kahoko's Azuma hair fetish begins...what will happen after Azuma cuts the hair that Kahoko loves the most? Another oneshot. Rated T for safety. Please read and enjoy !
La Corda D'Oro - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,372 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Kahoko H., Azuma Y. - Complete
Serenade by melancholywhite reviews
After six years of no contact at all, Azuma suddenly came to Japan and appeared in front of Kahoko's door. What's he planning to do, and what will happen between the two of them? Yunoki Azuma x Hino Kahoko ONE-SHOT Rated T just in case
La Corda D'Oro - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,261 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 19 - Published: 2/26/2009 - [Azuma Y., Kahoko H.] - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Favor reviews
The alternate of Ch. 23 & 24, Manga Ep. 12-14 wherein Hihara and the other participants never knew about their engagement … And Ayano transferred to Seiso, she still knew that Azuma's with Kahoko and wanted to steal him from her
La Corda D'Oro - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,874 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/14/2012 - Published: 1/25/2011 - Kahoko H., Azuma Y.
Secrets and Bloodshed reviews
Katniss: A 19yr-old Merchant Kid whose parents disappeared without a trace. Peeta: A 19yr-old Seam Kid. She needs to protect that boy because she owes it to Delly. Somehow Peeta know about the disappearance of her parents but cant tell her. Under the complexity of Dist13 & Delly's win, Katniss learns the disappearance of her parents & must venture to the Capitol as a male soldier.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 59,325 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/7/2012 - Published: 5/18/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M.
The Speak Now Series reviews
A series of song-fic one-shots from Taylor Swift's album: Mine Sparks Fly Superman Speak Now Dear John Mean, The Story of Us, Never Grow Up, Better than Revenge Haunted Innocent Last Kiss Long Live Enchanted Ours If this was a movie and Back to December
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 28,611 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/7/2012 - Published: 12/31/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Bloody Rose reviews
A sequel to Thorns of the Seamless Red Rose. Azuma returns to Japan after 8 years and finds Kahoko, who he was still madly in love with, but discovers her name was no longer Hino Kahoko.
La Corda D'Oro - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,662 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Kahoko H., Azuma Y.
The Cold Ones reviews
A Playboy vocalist, Edward Cullen finds himself caught in the eyes of Bella Swan, a runaway rich chick who wants to follow her dream of being an artist. But she needs serious cash to reach that dream, so she settled first as The Cold Ones' P.A.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 50,907 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/11/2011 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Spare Another 25 Minutes reviews
I used to be that innocent little peasant named Bella but when a lawyer cam in my bungalow, i was dressed into a princess who needs to manage the family company like my grandmother's wishes
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,197 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Thorns of the Seamless Red Rose reviews
When Kahoko finds out Azuma's real character, she started to hate him but there's this part of her that overcomes her hate... her love for him. How will she react when Azuma needs to go abroad?
La Corda D'Oro - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,368 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 11/27/2010 - Kahoko H., Azuma Y.