Author has written 11 stories for Twilight, X-Men: The Movie, Harry Potter, Inheritance Cycle, and Spirited Away.
Hey, I'm Eternities Mistress. Hope you like my stories. I have a bunch of ideas so I will add a lot more stories later.
If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever ran into a door, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're so obsessed with Twilight that it's NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If people think you're mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your friends are always telling you to shut up, but you don't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your friends are considering torturing you to shut up about a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever had a paper cut, and sucked on the blood, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have noticed yourself staring at peoples' necks, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you believe that vampires and werewolves live among us, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that people that have hot hands are werewolves, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If people say that you always have cold hands and you're thrilled by it, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that people who don't have cold hands are not normal, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're terrified of forests and ballet rooms, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Jasper Hale, copy this into your profile
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Cullen, copy this into your profile.
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienal, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, Daughter of a Renegade, Littlewhisker, Leafpool's Loyalty, Skyeheart and Silverwing, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Poppyleaf, dragonrider713, Eternities Mistress
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good because unique is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random (Or can be at times) and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
It's too horrible.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I'm the one who can't accept myself.
I am the person who is ashamed to tell my own friends I am a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp, and left to die because two straight men wanted to 'teach me a lesson'.
PLEASE REPOST THIS IF YOU THINK HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG. Do your part to end the hate and spread the love
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's tasteless, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
21) I am not authorised to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."
25) I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see who will come out alive
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) I will not tell Draco to “Make like a ferret and bounce”
30) It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin ‘Once you go black you never go back’
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new pussy cat?”
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of lessons and claim someone put the imperious cure on me.
38) I will not tell Ron and Hermione to ‘get a room’ whenever they start fighting
39) I will not tell Severus Snape he takes himself too seriously. Same applied for Minerva McGonagall.
40) Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying the library is closed for an indefinite time period funny in any sense. Nor does Hermione Granger.
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) I will not refer to Lucius Malfoy as a pimp - even if he does carry a pimp cane
47) I am no longer allowed to use the words ‘pimp cane’ in front of Draco Malfoy
48) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
51) I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse in the Whomping Willow.
52) I will not tell Filch that Peeves has left. It is cruel to get his hopes up like that.
53) I am not allowed to skip through the hallways singing the "Wizards of Waverly Place" theme song.
54) I am not allowed to attack the new Head Boy with water ballons.
55) I am not allowed to change the Slytherin common room to red and gold.
56) I am not allowed to tell the Revenclaws and/or Hermione Granger that the libray has been closed down.
57) I am not allowed to tell Lockheart that his fanclub is waiting in the Whomping Willow.
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it.
42. Dress like the professor.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras
Roses are red,
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Amatures built the ark. Profssionals built the titanic...
There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Some people are like slinkies...they're not good for anything but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional
"You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had."
-when Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?
-when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
-when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
-smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to
- therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them.
He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake and said, "I will love you until the last rose dies."
"I love you" is eight letters. So is "bullcrap."
Tu madre! Yes, you just got burnt in Spanish.
“Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit your ass down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!”
Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.