"In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:!...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!!...)(In reality, they are forced to do that due to people with peanut and nut allergies. If they don't...MAJOR LAWSUITS!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and put this on your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

The Yaoi Pledge

If yaoi were vodka and I was a duck

I'd dive to the bottom and drink my way up

But yaoi's not vodka and I'm not a duck

So give me some yaio and shut the fuck up!

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

(\_/)
( o.o )
(U U )

This is bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination. (do it now)

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."