Author has written 2 stories for Bleach, and Naruto.
First and foremost: I'm a moderator for of a kickass forum called Devilkey's playground.
Name: I'd prefer if you just call me Sendicard or Sendi, but if you absolutely must know; my name is Chris.
Age: I go by many ages, and I don't tend to correct people. You decide by what you think of me. If you think I act like a child then I'm a child, if you think I'm a man of old age then I am.
Profile parts: It has come to my attention that my profile is becoming rather large. As such, I would like to dictate info into 4 parts, no one has to read the entire profile to find what they want.
A, B, C,D Please use the Ctrl then F function to find the desired portion.
A: The first portion is a list of all fics I personally would like to read. I would appreciate it if you would take a look at it, and send anything of the sort my way. I've read a ton on the site and any chance to read an ideas I haven't before, or something I'm interested in is worth at least a dozen favors.
B: The second portion is simply random info and updates about my existence, including any updates involving my work with author's on fanfiction. It's by far the least technically important section.
C: The third section is a list of Pet Peeves I have, it is the section you want if you want to learn about me as a person, laugh your ass off, or debate.
D: The fourth section is a list of ideas I would eventually like to do myself.
Please note that Three rules apply to all of the fics I'm asking here.
1, Quality is needed. When I say quality I don't mean it doesn't have typos, I don't care about typos. Some of my favorite fics on the site have massive typos. When I say quality I mean voice, story telling, plot, character development. Basically written by someone who can write. I'm not looking for experts here, just preferably not teenagers... Unless it's a fantastic teenager in writing, at which point sure, why not?
2, I would appreciate being told before hand if it breaks any of my pet peeves so I can mentally prepare for it. Obviously fantastic fics are going to go against my pet peeves, and I would miss out tremendously on these quality fics if I never read anything that wasn't in my own zone of logic.
3, Preferably keep it in the Narutoverse, I'd rather not deal with extreme AU. Slight is ok. Note that you are doing me a favor here, so feel free to ask something in return if I like the fic and haven't seen it before.
In the event that someone would like to take any of these as a challenge, I would be willing to beta the story quickly and efficiently.
I will be placing fics that have been sent to me of these types below so everyone can see them. Unless specifically asked not to of course.
Hanabi Apprentice: This actually isn't just Hanabi, I would like to see a story centric on Naruto(Or any of the other characters of (or around his generation)) bonding with one of the younger characters through an apprenticeship. I've seen stories that include it, but never any stories centered on it that were any good. There are bound to be countless good ones out there, so this one has a pretty much permanent place in my requests.
A different host: I've never seen a fic where someone who wasn't Naruto's sibling had the Kyuubi that was done even remotely well. I understand why but I've always wondered how everything would have gone if say Sakura had it, or Ino, maybe even Hinata? A good reason for the switch would be nice, oh and I'd appreciate it if it wouldn't just be a rehash of canon with said character and Naruto switching places. I've seen that, not amusing.
Found: Dead Garden by Aaron Nowack. Pointed out by SpiralAK-Despite it being pretty well made, it's largely unfinished and I'm pretty sure it's been abandoned.
Ino's entrance into the damned!: I've seen a few fics that I can't really remember, where Ino for some reason jumps into Naruto's mind. Which is an awesome idea and could totally happen. One way or another she ends up in his inner world, and well you know. What I'm looking for here is one where they become friends because of or after the experience. Hell, maybe they are already friends? Preferably not an instant pairing afterwards? Eventually is fine but not right away like I've seen before... Some mental trauma would be nice as well, it's very disgruntling to see her perfectly fine after such an ordeal. Doesn't have to be permanent...
Found: Unforeseen Consequences By Agent-G, pointed out by SpiralAK-Despite my personal misgivings towards Agent-G, the story wasn't a bad read.
Naruto is Kyuubi Reborn!: I've seen fics where Naruto's mind was taken over by Kyuubi, but what if Mizuki was right? What would happen if Naruto really was the rebirthing of Kyuubi, entirely. How this happened I don't know. Regardless, Naruto wouldn't have memories of his past life and would have an allegiance to Konoha like normal Naruto does. He would even be morally positive! A select few would probably know he was the demon, so why they let him live would be up to the writer to explain. Preferably not an overly abusive Village fic, as I want Kyuubi-Naruto to actually be Loyal to Konoha. I'm honestly just curious as to how this would go. I assume that realization wouldn't go down very well with him or his teammates when it happens. It's one thing to shrug off a scroll idea but could they shrug off him actually being the demon? Even if he had no memory of it and was their friend? I don't know, the writer not me.
An Original Naru/Hina fic: Naruto and Hinata happens to be my favorite pairing, but I'm the first to admit that most of the stories on here involving them are either cliche or geared too fast. Sometimes it just gets ridiculous! For instance, I've honestly read a story where Naruto just up and raped her one day and she professed her love for him right after! She loves him because of who he is people, she isn't going to love him if he's a monster... I'd like to see a relationship blossom between the two of them in a natural manner with something original. Hopefully a plot?
A hidden gender fic done right!: I've never seen a fic where one of the characters was genderbent but it was hidden for some reason, where it wasn't stupid. For the criteria on this one, use the Ctrl F function to look up "Illusional gender" on my profile. "Illusional gender" is one of my pet peeves, so you can find it there.
Found: "The Sealmaster of Konoha By FaerieLight" pointed out by Kakarot Son.
Less active: I'm sure a few of you noticed that a little before Christmastime 2013, I suddenly stopped responding to messages within 5 minutes every time, and stories I've been following for years.. I stopped paying attention, I faded. This is because Fanfiction took over my life, and while (excuse my ego,) I was one of the best, I also had no damn life. I've been holding on and trying to get back into living and enjoying myself while balancing fanfiction every since.. Well, I've finally decided to send out my notice. I'm still here though, just less active.
Notice: I am officially ending "Free game." For now on I will not be taking Generic stories. I've found that 80% of what keeps me busy is sifting through and seeing the same damn problems, in the same damn story I've read 3000 times. So to get my life back, I've decided that if there are 3 to 4 hundred identical copies of your story out there, I'm not accepting your request. I just don't have the time. So feel free and ask like always, especially if we've had prior conversation. A good key as to whether I'll accept your story is below.
Perfection! Earlier I wanted to see what the message was that denied you from reviewing yourself, thinking it wouldn't let me. So I typed in the first thing that came to mind. Turns out there is no message, you can review your own chapters.
As such, I have officially flamed myself! The only person I have ever flamed too... Ahh, perfection.
My 3000th review was on chapter 28 of the story "Dragonsong" by Knotted.
I missed my 2000 review milestone by 37. I checked earlier today and it is at 2037. Based on my reviewing habits and 37 reviews ago, I can deduce that the milestone was most likely hit by one of the earlier chapters of the story Better-Left-Unsaid by Kenchi618
1000th signed review milestone hit. Story Ultimate_Paradox chapter 4 by draconichero20
The three writers Pain17ification, Infamous Storm and Deusal10 are my apprentices. All three requested such a thing and as such have improved. If you could, give each of them a look. I haven't been able to help Pain17ification in a while though so if you could, offer him some constructive criticisms?
I have a terrible memory, therefore I might promise to do something, and completely forget. At this moment I know I have several beta works that I am doing, but don't even remember for who or what. I will do some research and might find out who or what. This goes for the future when I say this too. If I promised I would do something, and I didn't do it. It isn't because I don't want to, it is because I completely and utterly forgot. Message me immediately!!
This goes for stories I normally read. If I normally read your stories, and you updated. I don't know, 5, 6 seven times since the last time I read it. There is a pretty high chance I forgot it exists. Message me...
What it really means:
If you have at any point in time gotten a review from me, and been confused. Here is a list of what I really meant. Just a basic list of phrases I may have used and what they really mean.
Interesting: This is a wild card. It simply means I can't pick a particular word for what I want to say. To put it plainly, it interested me. This is doesn't mean a good or bad thing. You can take it either way. Just look at the context.
Good: It means that it wasn't bad. It wasn't great either. I most likely believed what I am commenting on to be average work. Don't take this as an insult though. I read a lot. If it wasn't bad, you achieved something...
Bad: It wasn't good. You did something horribly wrong. I normally go into detail instead of saying things like this. I don't like to needlessly insult new writers. If you saw this it means you need to try harder. Practice ok? It really does improve your skill.
Wonderful: It wasn't good, it wasn't great, it was wonderful. Whatever I am commenting on was without noticeable error even with my trained eyes on their maximum setting. Either that or it had a great emotional effect on my person.
Powerful: You have emotionally effected me. Most likely in a way I don't hate. Rarely used as people tend to take the word too far.
Hated: This means that your work was so absolutely horrible, that you drove me to actually use such a strong word of dislike. You should most likely just stop writing. I personally majorly dislike discouraging new writers. However, there is a limit. Some people have talent, some people don't. Please note that this word has most likely never been used in any review ever written by me unless it was strictly to state the contrary.
Loved: The opposite of Hated. Not too hard to figure out is it?
If you would like to know what any other term I use means, please private message me. I will add it to the list after answering your question.
I know I take forever to update. I also know the quality of my work isn't good enough to take as long as it does. So, let me give you the reasons. 1: I have a really bad memory. 2: I read a lot more than I write. 3: I'm lazy.
Let us state that it may be a very long time before do virtually anything at any point in time. I could also read 100000 words twice in a week, reviewing every chapter. I am unpredictable. Just do me a favor, if you think I am dead, send me a message...
Recently I have decided to rewrite my last story that is on here, and meld it into a fictionpress for easier work. OC centric anyway so... Anyway, the final story is only there currently as a place holder so I can notify the correct people when it is finally up.
I am social so feel free to message me if you want. If you have something specific you would like to talk about I am open. I try to help in crisis so if you need someone to talk to for something non fanfiction related I am once again, here.
Pet Peeves: I don't like to complain but if you are on my profile, you probably want to learn something about me. Here would be a small list of the things that irritate me to no end. Please note I am a critic of far higher skill than I am a writer. Oh and to truly get that I am not just mean in the column below, please note that I have written over 3000 unique reviews. Also note that I mostly read "Naruto" so I refer to it a lot here. Also note that if I don't explicitly say "plain criticism," I mean constructive. I don't give criticism without that construction work to push it forward.
Good, but bad writers: You have all found one, I know you have. Those writers who feel themselves so mighty because they get a little bit of praise that they feel the need to shit on anyone who dares give a bit of criticism. These people normally don't understand writing, and it sickens me that they have natural skill. I'm talking about those arrogant "can't touch this" attitude wielding writers. What annoys me even more is I normally know exactly what is wrong with their fantastic story, and if they would just get that stick out of their ass for five seconds and listen they could improve dramatically.
Hobby writers: I have nothing against writing because you enjoy it. Oh hell no, the very idea of having something against that is ridiculous. No, I have a beef with the type of writers who use this as an excuse. I give you a small amount of advice, normally very nice and without subjection. What do you do? You turn around and snap at me for being too "harsh" on a hobby. This bugs me for a few reasons honestly. First of all most of the time it ends up being one of my nice reviews that are just filled with sunshine, rainbows, compliments, and 1 critique moment. Now obviously if you really enjoy writing that much, you wouldn't use that it is just for enjoyment as an excuse to not improve. Who the hell willingly doesn't want to be good at something they like? I would much rather you just tell me to fuck off, then to give me such a lame excuse. What really bugs me about these writers is most of the time they believe this crap themselves, seriously guys; THINK!
Perfection: I'm not talking about literal perfection. No, that actually sounds pretty badass... No what I have a problem with is the writers who think they are too good to improve. News flash, if I read something that I am not skilled enough to critique, I say so, repetitively. I have done so many times in the past. If I took the time to write out a list of things that you should look at, take the time to look at them damn it! It isn't me being egotistical, there is really something that could be improved. I know you believe you are Kami's gift to literature, but be realistic for a moment.
Those who block me: I have absolutely no problem with people blocking those that are trying to hurt their feelings or whatever, I don't. What I am against is when people block me for literally NO reason. It happens, it really does. I will review a chapter of someone, and boom, suddenly I am blocked. No "Fuck you" message or hatemail, or even a "thank you but I hate you" message. Fucking silence! I'll go back and read the review and it consists of at least 60% complements like all reviews to people who I don't talk with regularly do. If you are going to block me, at least tell me why!
Hatemail: I have nothing against people defending themselves, I review, I critique. It is obvious that I will get a defense back from people, even if I am just trying to help. I'm alright with this, I am very defensive by nature myself. What really annoys me is when people get all irrational about it. They will ignore 80 to 90% of the entire review, and just flip right out about the negatives. What is even worse is that the excuse for these, or the defense at times, is normally horrible. To back this up, most of the time they are swearing, just being generally hateful, or even getting friends in on it.
Small talk: This switches the topic in my peeves to chat. I HATE small talk. I absolutely love to chat, and if you want to, bring a topic. I will chat with you for days, weeks, however long you want. However, if you message me with nothing, we will spend those days trading back messages like "Indeed" or "yep." All the while we are wasting valuable time, I am getting a feel for your personality and my urge to have a conversation is sky rocketing. If you bring small talk, you force me to ask questions, and I have never been good with questions. So bring something to talk about or I might just violate you verbally by accident.
Sensitive people: I talk to many different people on the site. Most of which are people who I actually got thanked by for a review once. What? You thought all I get is hatemail? Naw, I get thanked all the time. Less often then Hatemail, but that is kind of a given. Anyway! I talk to a lot of people and therefore can't get a feel for all your personalities. My sense of humor can be pretty damn twisted at times, so for the love of whatever you worship, tell me first if you are sensitive so I don't hurt your feelings. I care, I really do.
Vanishing requests: I have a bad memory. I will never say yes to the question of "will you beta my story" or "will you help me" then not do it on purpose. I have a genuinely bad memory, it is why I never actually give promises, just simple "sure" or "yes." If I do say yes and don't do it, message me. It is direly important, I will feel guilty later if you don't. I want to help you, but my memory is a medical problem. You need to help me help you.
Lazy beta/Doing it for the "thank you.": I've said it once and I will say it again, I love that other people try to help others. It is fantastic, brings joy to my heart. However if you are going to half ass it, you are only doing harm. Do it right, do it fast, or don't do it at all. If you aren't qualified, find someone else to do the job. We have over a thousand beta readers on this site, they are on there because they want to help people. If you want to help, do the work to find them another beta. I have had to do it myself multiple times. I will admit there are times when I am absolutely horrible, that is when I find someone else. If you don't want to do the best for that person then you are just doing it for the glory, you selfish bastard. For example, I am pretty sure I have a case like that right now somewhere on my hard drive. I think the fic was called Raindrops or something like that... Shit, I should find the name so I can get them someone else. Damn memory...
I'm not perfect: When I write a critique, people tend to either ignore it or take my word for it and it annoys me. Don't get me wrong, if you seriously argued every point with me we'd never get anything done but... well I'm not a god. I'm wrong sometimes, it happens. If I give you a big lesson on something that changes your writing in any dramatic way, ask questions. Look things up, get involved in the process because I can't feel guilty for misleading you if you never asked a question. I do have typos, I do have misunderstandings. If you ask a question then at least you've programmed yourself into my mind right next to that problem, so if I ever find I was wrong; you're the first thing to come to mind.
Insults: I admit that I'm blunt. I admit that I probably push most people onto the defensive with my criticism, but at no point am I not civil. I don't know how many times I've been giving some criticism in a blunt yet civil manner, only for the author to message me with a monologue filled entirely with insults. One of my favorites and probably the most common is calling me an egomaniac. Apparently because I spend time caring about others and helping people improve in a skill I love, I think of myself as some kind of perfect being. The bottom line is that I've spent the time over the last two to three years writing out over 3000 reviews with only one flame; a flame which was accidental and posted on MY story. Let's not even get into all my beta work and my students. Now what's more logical? I spend all this time so I can hunt down people I supposedly view as lesser than me and pick on them because it makes me feel big, or I legitimately enjoy helping others get better at an art form I love? I'm not even going to answer, you decide.
Inserted Personal favor-Not a pet peeve: Kanotari has asked it as a personal favor that I be a bit nicer, specifically adding in something I liked into my more brutal reviews to not break the writer's spirit. This is supported by a common misunderstanding where a writer will think I hated their story when I actually really enjoyed it. I'm a man of my word so if I reviewed your story and you feel I didn't have anything positive to say, message me and I'll point out something I liked. This does not count for those of you I beta, I wouldn't beta the story if I didn't like the idea, stop whining.
Yaoi: I have absolutely nothing against Yaoi. I really don't. It is simply the gay version of a normal romance fanfic. The problem is that almost all of these are written horribly, and by fangirls instead of actually gay people. See the problem here? The creatures are indeed a plague, and they make the gay community look bad... They really do. I know a few gay people and they do not appreciate being made out to look like they will screw anything with a pulse because some girl finds the idea hot.
Bashing: One thing I absolutely do have something against is bashing. Why the hell would anyone intentionally damage a character for their story? That just sounds so stupid. If you can't make your plot work with the characters, chances are there is something wrong with your plot. I don't tend to read these fics after I notice the bashing. I have made a few exceptions to this rule however, all of which being stories that warned about the bashing from the beginning. If I start a story knowing there is going to be bashing, and I read a few chapters in, and it is bearable or you give me a logical reason; there is a pretty high chance I am sticking with it. If however I get halfway in a story and just find out then that you suddenly decided to butcher your characters without warning for some stupid plot point, I'm dropping the story. There is no argument, no way to get me back. I say butcher the characters for a reason here, a little off character is bearable. I may not promote it but I'm not going to drop your story because Sasuke goes a bit far, even if I will mention it. By the way, he is NEVER as bad as some of these stories make him out to be. I'm not going to drop your story because Hinata can't speak, although I will mention it. Not sure if I can even help that one though, it has become a meme...
God mode/Illogical growth: I generally loath a story where the main character becomes really powerful really fast, no true hardship for it. His power is basically gifted to him, like a sword that destroys worlds or some shit. Just, what the hell guys? I also generally loath a story with no conflict because the main character is like a god. Just because the story has a plot, doesn't mean it has conflict. Conflict is something the main characters have to struggle against, you know the word, struggle. I'm not going to finish something that I see no point in doing so. No conflict, no read... Most of the time
Kage Bunshin learning technique: I've read about this technique where Naruto spams thousands of clones and learns massive things in a short time. Has no one ever thought about the logic here? Forget brain overload, because that could technically be worked around. Just really think on this. Kage Bunshin is a technique that creates an identical copy of the user right? This means mental as well. This means that two different Kage Bunshin will be identical. Noticing the problem here yet? The idea behind this technique is that massive amounts of IDENTICAL clones train, at the exact same time, and come up with equally massive amounts of training in a short period of time. Has anyone noticed the problem yet? They all have the exact same mind, and therefore if told to do the exact same thing, are going to do it exactly the same. So logically, when one clone had a breakthrough, all the clones would have a breakthrough. At the SAME TIME! Think about this for a second, logically Naruto would not gain massive amounts of training unless that training was to memorize a kata or something. No, he would simply gain massive amounts of the exact same progress. I've never shared this thought with anyone but meh, mine as well. Still good for handwriting or something. Maybe memorization.
The wave arc: This is actually more canon Naruto and less fanfiction. This arc just doesn't make any damn sense. For instance, this old bridge builder did not hide his house, it is public knowledge where he lives. You're telling me that a man smart enough to take over a country and make millions, isn't smart enough to just throw a fucking bomb? It isn't like his operation is secret in this country, no one would say a damn thing if he blew up the bridge-builder in his sleep for fighting back. Better yet, why doesn't he just blow up the bridge? You know how much money it takes to build a bridge? There is no way Tazuna has the money to rebuild it over and over again! Hell why even hire Zabuza to kill the man, why not just hire him to preform one jutsu on the bridge? Instead of going through this big strategy to save money by screwing over a "demon," why not just hire him for a lesser job of explosion instead of assassination? It isn't just the wave arc either, the entire anime takes everything much too straight forward for something based around ninjas. Say everything went exactly as it did, why doesn't Zabuza just use a water jutsu to surprise demolish the house while they sleep? Kakashi would only be able to save one of them in that time, no way in hell he would have chosen Tazuna. The arc just doesn't make much sense to me.
The three graduating teams in Naruto don't really make much sense in the bigger picture: I'm going to fully explain this one so get ready for a ride. Team Kakashi makes sense by itself as an assault team. Naruto has the Kyuubi so destruction specialist right there, the Uchiha are known for their "darkness" and Sakura is smart enough to make up Naruto's stupid. Team Asuma makes sense as Choji can work as muscle while Shikamaru both thinks up strategies and traps people for Ino. Team Kurenai even makes sense as a tracking team as Hinata has the Byakugan, Kiba has his enhanced senses and Shino has his bugs. All three teams make sense when put into a small picture, let's take it up a notch though. For instance, as an assault group team 7 will be fighting a lot. There is no point for a "book" when you need a "cannon." Sakura on team Kakashi is just making up more work as Naruto and Sasuke need to protect her, and she isn't even really that good strategy wise so it is just a generally bad call. Add in that Sakura is Sasuke's number one fan girl and you end up with even MORE conflict of interest in a group of Shinobi. Team Asuma really has nothing wrong with it, it kind of covers all the bases so "Booyah!" on that one. Team Kurenai on the other hand has some problems. For instance, no one on that team could possibly be a genjutsu specialist so placing them on the team with the Genjutsu mistress as their teacher is kind of stupid. Kiba is too brash, Hinata is a Hyuga and therefore focuses more on hand to hand, and Shino is just much better spent on the bugs. To top this off, Sakura has perfect control and therefore would be perfect for Kurenai. It would be much smarter to have either Hinata or Kiba on team 7 with Naruto and Sasuke to fit the theme of assault, and send Sakura over to Kurenai. Just, who the hell designed these teams?
Any team but the original Team Kakashi taking wave: It's a normal method in a fanfiction where Naruto doesn't take wave, for someone else to do it. That's a bad idea though. There are a few factors in wave that Naruto changed dramatically it certainly wouldn't be the same, if not failed entirely. For instance, the only reason the mission was continued was because Naruto cut at his arm, apparently draining the poison in a show of immense fortitude and drive. If Naruto wasn't there to do that, then either someone else would have gotten hit, or Kakashi would have taken them home out of principle. Naruto kept them there, not someone else. If someone else got hit, then Kakashi would have rushed them home, Naruto was pretty much immune but a normal person would be in a lot of pain. Then there's having another team take it entirely. Let's just say they did somehow get to wave without quitting the mission, Zabuza and Haku would cause a bad situation. Kakashi is by far made out to be one of the strongest Jonin in Canon, and even he had a hard time with Zabuza. If a group like Team 8 took it, they'd probably die... Unless Kurenai used a Genjutsu to help them get out of course. There are a lot of problems with the train of thought of anyone but the original team taking that mission, a thought process that makes Tazuna a VERY lucky man for having gotten them. Team Gai might have been successful, but any other team would have suffered some problems. On the Bridge Naruto went Kyuubi mode to take out Haku, no one else has that...
Naruto's regeneration problems: Now I tend to nitpick, I admit that. But... Naruto shows some problems in something so dramatically bad it's ridiculous. A plot hole like none other! You see, Naruto doesn't heal. He gains new flesh, which is regeneration. This is shown on multiple occasions in Canon, like when he took a fist through his chest for one. This causes a few problems in theory, but one of the bigger ones is kind of funny. Ok, well start small. You know what a callus is right? It's the hardening of the skin to prevent it from splitting and breaking, upon excessive use. This is done through healing, something Naruto doesn't do. You see healing is modifying the flesh in a way, so in the healing process something like a callus could show up. With Regeneration on the other hand, Naruto wouldn't callus. His hands would ALWAYS be soft. That right there is a problem, but can be worked around I guess. The bigger problems all start with a similar thought process though. Does anyone know how muscle is built? Muscle is built by the minor breaking and then repairing of the muscle tissue, causing it to grow back stronger through said repairs. Naruto doesn't repair though, he creates the exact same flesh, hence an example of him never scaring. So logically, Naruto could NEVER gain muscle. This means he would never be faster, and he would never be stronger. Naruto is shown to be pretty strong right from the beginning, but it will never get any better. Canon breaks this logic, but the point remains. Plot hole. They apparently came out and explained how it's just uber fast healing and not regeneration, but healing doesn't work like that... So that's an even bigger plot hole.
Plain Criticism: It sounds weird coming from a critic, but nothing annoys me more than seeing someone giving or taking plain criticism. There is a very large difference between constructive criticism and plain criticism, and I mean to strike it in the heart right here. Constructive criticism is someone's attempts at pointing out a problem and helping you rectify said problem. Sometimes even giving in-depth explanations. I do constructive criticism. I admire constructive criticism. What some people seem to miss is that without the advice, it just becomes a dick insulting you with no backing. Don't take my word for it though, see these two examples
Example of constructive criticism: "I've noticed you tend to add an extra comma into a lot of sentences where it isn't necessary, which sometimes creates a comma splice. I suggest you say the line out loud so that you can fully examine it before writing it down, as the mind can comprehend voice and flow much easier with an audible aid. An example of an obvious comma splice would be this line: "I take it you've, met the Hokage, Naruto." If you have any questions or need more examples, feel free to message me in a PM."
Example of criticism: "Your grammar has some serious problems and you create comma splices."
Overly long profiles: This is actually kind of hypocritical in a way I can definitely recognize. Regardless, the extent I'm talking about is far greater than my profile will ever be for this exact reason. I hate finding an author I like, only to have to scroll down for 30 to 40 seconds through generic crap before I can get to their stories. I guess it would be fine if everything on the profile was personal and had been developing for a while, but most of the time it's just "post this if" messages. We've all seen every one of them in existence, why continue posting them?
Cause and effect fail: I'm sure everyone has read the theme of fanfic called 'for want of a nail.'(I do believe.) This is a rather fun concept, the idea of changing one fact or multiple facts in a universe and watching all the changes that occur from it play out. What's even more fun is watching the writer guide it towards what they want but being restricted by the divergence point. It tends to get pretty creative and I can't help but enjoy myself.
Blind review responses: When I get really into things I start reviewing every chapter, this can mean ten or twelve different lengthy reviews, all hosting different points. Sometimes it is much larger. So when someone replies to one of those reviews without telling me which one they are replying to, I'm at a total loss. What's worse is that upon being prompted the person who replied doesn't get what I mean by "Which review are you talking about?" So I have to go on and explain my entire system and why I have no freaking clue what they are talking about, all the while their reply being completely forgotten by both parties. I think we should stop going it blind and just state the chapter number of the review at the top of the reply.
Big reveals: One of my favorite parts in any story is the reveal of that one big secret. In most Naruto stories it is that he has Kyuubi, in Hanyou stories it tends to be when Naruto is forced to drop that Genjutsu or throw off his cloak and his close people see him for what he really is. I get really excited at the prospect, when I see this part coming up or a cliffhanger jumps in my face. I tend to pace around the room with a smile on my face while I think of all the potential possibilities based on the character maps given so far. So, it can be gathered that the amount of times I've been utterly disappointed is MUCH higher than most people when it comes to fanfiction. Here on fanfiction characters don't have personalities, they have traits that aren't always followed, and an author's image of them. They don't tend to live, the author forces what they feel onto them, their views. So the reaction to this reveal on almost every Naruto story I've read on the site is one of three.
Worthless Favorites: To me favoriting something is like putting your stamp of absolute approval. To favorite something is to notice when it's gone, to be willing to fight for it, it means something about you as a person. A favorite should reflect on you, how you think, what you enjoy. To put it simple, it should be a favorite! I'm sure you've all seen it though.. You look at the profile page of someone you've been communicating with and check the favorites list only to see they have over 200 favorites. All varying, some great, some failures, some you're pretty sure they haven't even read. What does this say about that person? Nothing. A favorites list should be a list of fics you want to remember, a hall of fame, a glorious stone with the best of the best of your opinion! It just really bothers me to see people doing this with something so sacred, bookmarks exist for a reason...
The Tails numerics: I'm sure you've all heard the equation behind the power of each tailed beast in at least one story. I don't know if it's canon, I certainly hope not... Regardless, the equation goes something like each individual tail multiplies the power by 2. On the surface that actually doesn't sound that bad but... Well multipliers multiply. 9 tails ends up equaling 256 times the power of a single tail. It doesn't take a genius to see what's wrong with that equation, it would mean that Naruto holds within him enough power to match Gaara 256 times in the same fight. Gaara almost won against Deidara, so that would mean Naruto could put up an equal fight against 256 Deidara. So, by that math, not a single enemy in the entirety of the series should be even a remote challenge... Period. Yet Naruto is frequently fighting for his life, instead of laughing as his enemies burst into flames from his mere proximity. I choose to believe this equation is a fanon exaggeration because if it's real, well nothing about the series makes sense anymore.
Pairings: I love a good romance, I really do. However, there's this weird misconception here on fanfiction that all stories have to be one, if not 9 or 10. Far too many stories have a forced pairing where it really doesn't fit, simply for the sake of having one. I repeat that I love a good romance, but I also love a good story. I've read quite a few stories with no romance, hell most of the big series on fanfiction don't have a Canon pairing. We as writers feel some need to add one, or nine, or just far too damn many, to every story. When was the last time you read a fanfiction that didn't have a pairing? Far too many stories are ruined by forced pairings, or just generally damaged.
Hating Sakura: I've seen it far too many times. Everyone loves to hate on Sakura because she rejects Naruto and gets physically violent with him about it. I'm not going to justify blatant abuse, however I am going to say that Naruto just doesn't get it. She's literally beating the rejection into him and it's not clicking. She's 12, she's been taught her entire life by her school system that violence is a good thing. What the hell is she supposed to do? To make matters worse, nothing she does sticks. He gets right back up, she could break his arm and he'd be fine later to break it again. It's not going to click with her that she needs to stop until he's in the hospital, and he's got Kyuubi so he isn't going to the hospital off her punches. To make matters worse, he isn't going to get it until she permanently damages him, which simply isn't possible. Ask yourselves, what the hell would you do in that situation? If you're answer isn't "Hit harder" then you're a liar.
It wasn't a question, but a statement: This line annoys the shit out of me. You write something that sounds kind of like a question, add a period instead of a question mark, and then proceed to state the obvious. I understand it's not an error and therefore don't write anything about it in my reviews but come on! You don't add "It wasn't a statement, but a question" onto every question even remotely like a statement, so why do this!
Forgetting about Kyuubi: It isn't just Kyuubi either, a very common theme in fanfiction is that the characters will ignore their super power to make it more cool. That's a fine idea, don't want to overuse it, but come on! The extents it goes to sometimes is ridiculous. Naruto stories in particular are horrible with this. In a lot of stories, Naruto has almost lost loved ones because of his unexplained reluctance to use Kyuubi, even though his status as a Jinchuriki is a symbol of him protecting everyone... Hell, in some stories he actually does lose loved ones, and that causes him to go Kyuubi mode. A little late for that don't you think? Sometimes, he won't even go Kyuubi mode then, but retreat entirely and then wonder how he could have possibly won that. This is just on example, there are hundreds of different ways things could have gone better in situations if the writer didn't try and limit it so much.I understand that relying on Kyuubi's power is a bit stupid, but there are limits people!
Illusional Gender: I'm guilty of somewhat enjoying the gender-bent genre of Fanfiction. You know, when one character's gender is swapped and some idea goes along with it to make it interesting? This idea is intriguing and tends to bring a new twist onto cliche ideas. This isn't so say there aren't cliche ideas created solely for this genre, but that's not important. Regardless of my enjoyment of this type, I tend to gravitate towards raised as the opposite gender and stay away from "hidden gender." Why would that be? Well it's quite simple.
Unlike in several different real life occurrences of a gender being hidden, which can make a pretty interesting story; fanfiction with a hidden gender always involves illusions. This idea honestly isn't that bad on the surface, but when you get to thinking about it the entire story can be ruined very easily. For instance, these stories almost NEVER explain why even masters of Genjutsu like Kurenai didn't pick up on it. They almost never explain why the illusion was placed in the first place, and in the process almost never explain how! When they do explain it, it's normally something stupid. To be honest the only reason for it I've never been able nullify with less than 3 seconds of thought was given straight from the Shinigami, "boredom." When boredom of all things is the best explanation I've ever seen in an entire mini-genre of fanfiction, there's a fucking problem.
Worse off, the gender-bent character SUDDENLY starts following gender stereotypes, like they weren't raised and acting a certain way their entire life up to that point. It just... annoys me that people can't be more creative or think into the work they're spending their valuable time on a little more..
Lack of creativity/Lack of plan: For some reason writers on the site have this weird idea that if you have a plan, you have to stick to it 100%. The creative writers don't fucking plan, and the planners don't use any imagination! I don't know where this idea started, but it's wrong and stupid. The best writers come up with a plan and then have fun with it.
I once beta'd a story that had an outline for the entirety of it. This story was by no means strictly according to plan though, the writer noted that the existence of a plan helped her be as creative as she wanted, while keeping a general guideline to back her up. She once wrote in a marriage proposal between two characters as a practical joke for the copy she sent to me. It ended up being one of the most romantic and well written scenes I've ever read. She actually kept it for her final copy because of how well it turned out.
Moral? It's a good idea to have a plan AND be creative, have fun with it, play jokes; it might turn out best.
Actually judging it by its cover: I'm sure you've heard the line "don't judge a book by its cover." We take it to mean don't judge someone before you try it, but how often do people really take it a bit more literal? People judge books by the pictures all the time, and if not they base their entire opinion off the spoilertastic crap on the back. This is even worse with video games, people shun entire genres. Like, what the hell? There are hundreds, if not thousands of variations of each genre, so you didn't like three or four of them, you might really enjoy one of the other nine-hundred-ninety-six. One of them might end up your favorite game of all time, but you'll never know, because you either didn't give it a chance at all, or went in thinking you were going to hate it.
That be all folks! Feel free to check back in the future if you enjoyed yourself because I add more whenever I feel like ranting.
D: This section is devoted to getting the ideas I want to commit myself to on the ground. Feel free to ask me about them or contribute if you feel like you can.
Hellhole: I'm honestly not sure what I'll end up calling my version, but I accepted Kagaseo's challenge of "Hellhole" a while back and I do intend to eventually live up to it. I just don't want to put it to shame by putting my name on one of his ideas, YET. I'm working to improve my skill so I can do so with confidence.
Naruto as Badass Normal: Another challenge I took from Kagaseo before realizing my writing was pitiful and needed... Working. I have my own twists and ideas to work it up, if you want to see this story in glory Kagaseo ended up taking this challenge himself with "Atlas." It's, pretty well done.
I won't let you die: My original ambition when I joined Fanfiction years ago. I don't know if it will ever really be done, but it is indeed an ambition. I could write an entire profile this large about this story and my ideas, so I'll leave it short. The demon world is suffering, and a test is done to see if demons can finally co-exist with humans. This test is in the form of a young girl left at an orphanage from birth. She jumps around from family to family but every time they find out she's not entirely human somehow. Eventually she does meet up with a family that can look past that, and right on time too because her blood is starting to really awaken. This story started out fanfiction, but I eventually realized it might do better on fictionpress or in the real world some day.
A demon's Demon: Naruto is ignored by the populous, (Not abused,) and to seek attention he starts making big scenes; which in turn get ignored. Eventually someone with a slightly different view than the villagers find him. Someone who views Kyuubi as a boon, not a curse. The basic idea is watching Naruto on Team 7 go through life with a major difference in views, and some mental instability. Eventually these differences would cause chain reaction differences, and so forth. I was thinking the mentor would just be a normal Jonin or even Chunin who happened to have some pretty different views that rub off. No special techniques or anything like that. At least, nothing too huge.
Hall of Mirrors: Sadly this story is my own novel idea, and I actually might get around to writing it one day if my skills improve. So this will not be on the internet, ever... Unless it's in the form of a digital book you paid for, or pirated.
Data: This will either go on Fictionpress or my own novel some day depending. (Probably fictionpress, it isn't exactly the first of it's kind.) Basically, boy wakes up, pisses off the wrong guy, dies, gets up the next day like nothing happened. Soon enough it happens again, and he becomes informed that he's special and the world has a background reality system in which he is the protagonist. A video game reality system meant to restore stability! Anyway, he goes on a quest, get's some friends to help him. All that crap, it's a fun idea but not the most unique of ones.
The Sendicard and CJ chronicles: Just a novelization of an old game of Dungeons and Dragons Dungeon mastered... Badly, in fact. It's mostly comedy, and picking on CJ. It's actually already on fictionpress, but it's barely been worked on and needs to be redone again. I decided to gain more skill before I went to work on something that important to me.
The CJ and Sendicard chronicles: You'd assume it would be a sequel or a remake of the above, but it's actually a list of extremely funny situations that took place in that game, or fantasies about things that should have. I want to novelize all of them, and then give them to my friends on here to use or laugh at as they see fit.
100 times just a little bit of Kyuubi made life easier: I've gotten so sick of seeing everyone have Naruto treat the Kyuubi like a plague. (See Pet Peeves,) so I decided to do 100 one shots (following the same Naruto, technically,) where Naruto uses just a little bit of Kyuubi (If not a lot) to do something. Basically, if you've ever had a moment where you were reading a fic and said "Just use Kyuubi you bastard!" Send it to me. Not the fic, I don't want to copy anyone, I mean the bare scenario. I'll see if I can turn it into something. 100 is a lot so be sure to do so! Doesn't have to be that either, can just be situations. This is basically a giant training exercise. I get to write without committing too much, and simultaneously get Kyuubi born steam out of my mind.