Anguis Intrepidus
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Joined 04-21-10, id: 2336298, Profile Updated: 10-21-12
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter.

Uh. . . .so. . . .yeah. I'm guessing you're reading this out of complete boredom or some version of curiosity that is. . . .not normal. I dunno. I'll try to make it interesting.

I am very sarcastic and very caustic, so if I offend you, get over it. I've been told that if Snape and McGonagall ever had a child together it would be me. . .which I take to mean I psychoneurotically disturb some people.

I absolutely refuse to write anything related to anything Stephanie Meyer has written, as that doesn't qualify as a book, but rather. . . .well, that's up for interpretation; I call it 'crap' personally.

Don't call me weird and expect me to be hurt, I'll take it as a compliment.

If you write a flame to tell me my work sucks, you'd better be able to do it better. On the other hand, I'm very, very hard on myself, and I'm always looking for ways to improve. However, if you have nothing helpful to say, you can go. . . .do something unpleasant.

At the moment I'm only doing Harry Potter stuff. I don't do very good 'ships' or anything like that because my brain is far too overactive and I have this sort of compulsive need to create a very convoluted and hard-to-follow-if-you-arrive-in-the-middle plots. I'm not very good at romance as I am too emotionally stunted and socially backward to really be capable of that sort of thing; I DO try, though, rest assured.

I realize that I most likely made mistakes in regards to some grammar, spelling, punctuation, flow, irregularities...WHATEVER it is, tell me. I don't bite...hard...often.

If you go further down this page, you'll see work that I've done. Me being absolutely anal about getting things just right, I'll be revising many things for a very long time. The only one that I won't revise will be Meet Your Dreams. This is because, as bad as it is, it was meant to be crappy. As a fresh note, I have begun, as you may or may not have noticed, a Tomione, A Very Not Happy Place. I'm kind of in love with most things Tomione at the moment, and that's how that situation arose. Also, coming soon, there will be a lovely Dramione that has yet to be named. I will not reveal the plot. If you wish to know what it's about, you'll have to read when it comes out. That's all I'll say.

I had someone tell me once that I try to be funny, but I'm not. If I say something and you don't think it's funny, seriously, don't feel like you have to laugh. I'm not easily offended, and I won't care. Honestly, I didn't ask you to laugh; if anything, what I write is to make me laugh, not you.

I realize all of this might sound really stuck-up and arrogant, but bear in mind that this is fanfcition.net, not RandomHouse Publishing.

At this moment in time, the most I'm reading is TR/HG, and not much else. I blame Serpent in Red for that as she's written this really amazing story that I can't stop reading. Seriously, though, go check it out; it's epic. To be honest, I get very irritated when she doesn't update, but it's her story, she can do as she pleases. At any rate, there you have it.

I find that now I might be expected to apologize for being so late on updates and whatever (not that anyone cares about that sort of thing), but I do have a life outside of ff.net, as much as I hate to admit it, so I simply haven't had time. What with my real writing being almost finished, I simply haven't gotten 'round to it. I'll be rectifying that soon. If I don't...tough poo.

Now that I've spewed all that horribly nasty stuff onto your shoulders, I'd like to thank you, the reader, profusely for even daring to read what I've written. I'll go back and fix it all when I have the time to make it perfect. In the meantime, please excuse the absurdities you find; they'll be demolished in due course.

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Corpus Encambio by Thirteen Ravens reviews
What if Hermione Granger had chosen to use the Timeturner to go back to save Severus Snape's life on the night of the final battle, only to leave him in a coma, too injured to be able to wake up? What then...? ( SS/HP - Harry/Snape - Post TDH - Angst - Snarkage - Bodyswap - Snarry - Greased Lightening )
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 63,891 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 6/28 - Published: 4/21/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G., Severus S.
Somewhere in Time by Serpent In Red reviews
Sent back in time by a mysterious person and trapped in the past with a missing Dumbledore and an overbearing, charismatic Dark Lord, they had no idea how much they could dabble with before the world they had known shattered into pieces.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 63 - Words: 360,110 - Reviews: 2733 - Favs: 1,509 - Follows: 1,324 - Updated: 12/31/2013 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Hermione G., Voldemort, Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Lacrimosa by uchiha.s reviews
semi-historical AU with magic. After Draco purchases Hermione as his new concubine, she is thrown in the path of the new composer for the court, Voldemort. And soon she finds herself making a deal with the devil himself... TMR/HG/DM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 72,570 - Reviews: 469 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 656 - Updated: 10/19/2012 - Published: 12/2/2011 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
The Sense of Taste by Laurielove reviews
NOW COMPLETE. Hermione is inwardly struggling to be the perfect wife and mother. Understanding comes from a shocking source. And a certain former Death Eater is equally horrified by his reaction to seeing the muggle-born again. M readers only. LM/HG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 118,242 - Reviews: 1115 - Favs: 663 - Follows: 502 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Hermione G., Lucius M. - Complete
Summer of the Dragon by Lena Phoria reviews
3 years after the war, Hermione takes a break from Ron and accepts a summer job collecting supplies for Ollivander's wands. What she doesn't expect is having to work with Draco Malfoy, who is more haunted by his past than she ever would have believed. Together they will travel the world, fight dragons, conquer demons and maybe find exactly what they've been looking for.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 208,893 - Reviews: 782 - Favs: 1,379 - Follows: 651 - Updated: 7/28/2012 - Published: 2/5/2012 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Fear in a Handful of Dust by Silly Little Sparrow reviews
When Hermione Granger finds a man she had thought to be a traitor on her doorstep, she becomes the unwilling traveler of a world she never imagined could exist--a world of shadow and legend where each step is fraught with danger.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,545 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 5/26/2011 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Phoenix at Rest by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPSS preslash, AU. Severus will go to the ends of the earth for his Potions ingredients if he has to. But the top of a very high mountain is preferable, even if Harry Potter is living there. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,841 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 45 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Severus Snape's What the hell face by beexfeatheryduster reviews
Everyone wanted to see Severus Snape's "what the hell..." face. Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom and Ronald Weasley try their hardest to make it happen but only Hermione Granger is determined enough to pull out all the stops. M for references to be safe
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,349 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
The Caretaker by Aurette reviews
Ron saves Snape's life after the Battle of Hogwarts, invoking a new life debt, and something else... AU, EWE?, SS/HG, M for Language and Sexuality.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 141,137 - Reviews: 1329 - Favs: 1,016 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 4/5/2010 - Published: 2/5/2010 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Night & Day, Snape Lives! by t wrecks reviews
An obscure spell binds both Ron and Snape in the same body, Ron has the day, and Snape has the night. Ron is married to Hermione, and so is Snape. Which wizard ends up in charge? How can this trio survive? One husband can be a handful, but two?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 71,370 - Reviews: 550 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 3/4/2010 - Published: 8/27/2007 - Hermione G., Severus S.
When A Lioness Fights by kayly silverstorm reviews
Hermione Granger, master spy, and Severus Snape, spymaster to the Order. An unlikely partnership, forged to defeat the Dark Lord on his own ground. But to do so, they must confront their own darkness within. Spying, torture, angst and love. AU after fifth
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 80 - Words: 416,508 - Reviews: 7223 - Favs: 4,005 - Follows: 1,634 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 12/7/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Problem with Purity by Phoenix.Writing reviews
As Hermione, Harry, and Ron are about to begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts, they learn some surprising and dangerous information regarding what it means to be Pure in the wizarding world. HG/SS with H/D. AU after OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 62 - Words: 638,037 - Reviews: 4696 - Favs: 3,680 - Follows: 1,152 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
A Murder of Crows by Hogwarts 91 reviews
14 yrs post-war: Hermione’s teaching at Hogwarts when an un-aged Snape awakens from stasis and returns to the school. Sparks fly when they meet. Can they learn to trust and love in time to defeat an evil plot bent on changing the wizarding world forever?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 152,986 - Reviews: 642 - Favs: 893 - Follows: 328 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
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A Very Not Happy Place reviews
After a fight at Lestrange Manor, Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Cormac are thrust into 1946, when Tom Riddle is working to establish himself as Lord Voldemort. Much to their annoyance, he takes an interest in. . .well, them, specifically Hermione. Caught between a rock and a psychopath, Hermione must navigate her way around Riddle and return her troupe to their original time.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 68,671 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 284 - Updated: 9/9/2014 - Published: 9/2/2012 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
The Hideaway reviews
When Draco Malfoy is made privy to information of a terrorist plot amongst his former classmates, he is abruptly pulled from his life at Malfoy Manor and put into Witness Protection. He must now, for the indefinite future, live in hiding as a Muggle with the one person he'd desperately hoped wouldn't get involved. M for foul language and graphic content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,219 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 3/23/2013 - Published: 10/27/2012 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Within the Walls of Hogwarts reviews
Several American kids go off to Hogwarts in Harry's first year. Chaos ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,624 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/22/2012 - Published: 9/8/2010