THE Chick Norris
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Joined 04-23-10, id: 2338247, Profile Updated: 12-15-10
Author has written 12 stories for Twilight.

I'm lilke Chuck Norris, but with boobies. At least that's what my fic wifey, GemmaLisax tells me. She's the Mac to my Cheese.

I am the coolest dork you will ever meet.

I have a potty mouth.

I run with scissors almost every day.

I do NOT own Twilight.

My favorite quote EVER: "I'm not stupid. I have the internet."

If you haven't, you should check out my profile on www (dot) twiwrite (dot) net

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The Quiet Room by givemesomevamp reviews
So, I'm a little crazy.You're a little dead, but I don't keep throwing that up in your face."I had to admit she made a valid point. I was still wary, but we out numbered her at least. After all, how much trouble could one small human possibly be. OOC/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 192,504 - Reviews: 4019 - Favs: 2,644 - Follows: 1,215 - Updated: 12/10/2015 - Published: 4/15/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Crash into Me by PetersSugarTits reviews
Sometimes, forever doesn't last that long and that's alright. Enjoy what you can, learn what you can and know that it's never a waste of time. ***This story is M for a reason. There will be foul language and gratuitous sex because we're those kind of people. Probably gonna be some violence too. You don't mess with a Whitlock.***
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 58,558 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/9/2015 - Published: 5/22/2013 - Charlotte, Peter - Complete
What Remains by forthelongestday reviews
Side-shots from Bitemarks & Bloodstains. Alice-centric.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,807 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Alice - Complete
Her Name Was Buttercup by wonderwoundedhearers reviews
Won joint 3rd place in the "Showers to Flowers O/S Contest." Peter's a recluse lacking in social skills and she's an amnesiac lying naked in his field. "What are you? Some kind of cabbage patch vampire?" O/s. Lang. PPOV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,710 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/1/2011 - Peter, Charlotte - Complete
The stars and the sun by IsabellaDangelo reviews
What would happen if a human from our universe ended up in the Twilight universe? What would she really think? Do? Feel? And what if our universe was the “fictional” one? New Moon continuing through BD, AU, Canon couples, Longest Twilight FF!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 104 - Words: 500,356 - Reviews: 1760 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 4/20/2011 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Complete
Long Way Down by forthelongestday reviews
When Edward confesses his motivation for leaving Bella she realizes she cannot offer him a second chance. Her insistence for closure is met with the realization that one member of the family has no intentions of leaving her unprotected again. [AU]
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 165,580 - Reviews: 2577 - Favs: 3,409 - Follows: 1,500 - Updated: 1/10/2011 - Published: 8/15/2010 - [Bella, Jasper] - Complete
Burned by SweetT129 reviews
AU; Bella's near-death cliff diving experience wakes her up from her months of pathetic wallowing, and she realizes its time to get over it. When she gets home to find Alice, she discovers her anger at the Cullen's betrayal. Now it's time for revenge.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,773 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 14 - Published: 9/19/2010 - Bella - Complete
What was he thinking? by Mrstrentreznor reviews
AU: Paul's POV of "What was she doing?" - a scary glimpse inside the mind of Paul; warning: contains teen sex, drinking and foul foul language - contains SPOILERS for WWSD - so read that one FIRST!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 46,380 - Reviews: 864 - Favs: 804 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 6/29/2010 - [Paul, Bella] - Complete
Little Sister by tanwellman reviews
The Story of how Jasper grows to love Bella as his little sister. Takes place during Breaking Dawn. Three parts: Bella's pregnancy, After Pregnancy, and Jasper/Alice's Disappearance.Jasper's POV, all characters are in-character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 38,077 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 6/29/2010 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Jasper
Hands on Me by IndependenceIndividuality reviews
What do you do when nothing makes sense anymore? What if you’re forced to figure it out while you’re running for your life? What if the person you’re running with is the person who makes the least sense of all? A Jacob and Renesmee story. NOW COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 86 - Words: 393,420 - Reviews: 4576 - Favs: 1,342 - Follows: 620 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Cullen Family Camping Trip II: Back to the Woods by LeesaM reviews
After the first disastrous camping trip Bella and the Cullens are ready to put it behind them and move toward the upcoming wedding, until Charlie's 'thank you' present sends the household back into a panic - and back to the woods. Uh oh.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 81,303 - Reviews: 924 - Favs: 548 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 2/19/2010 - Published: 7/24/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
An Imperfect Love by mistyhaze420 reviews
After Edward leaves Bella & Alice leaves Jasper, their worlds collide. They have no one to turn to but each other for comfort and become good friends...but maybe more. But is it enough to mean forever? Graphic language, lemons in the future. J&B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 227,159 - Reviews: 3080 - Favs: 2,839 - Follows: 1,025 - Updated: 11/7/2009 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Chasing Nightmares by whitereflections12 reviews
POST BREAKING DAWN! As promised, Jasper and Renesmee fluff! Because he never gets enough time, especially not with his niece. If there's one thing Jasper's perfect for, it's chasing away nightmares...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,893 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 39 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Jasper, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Amputated at the Neck by Minisinoo reviews
An empath's thoughts about a telepath. Jasper's private concerns regarding Edward and Bella as they race towards marriage.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 41 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Into The Light reviews
Phoenix is the catalyst that Bella and Edward both need for the changes that will make everything work.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,807 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/18/2013 - Published: 5/19/2012 - Bella, Edward
For My Family
A brief take on the events leading up to Peter and Charlotte's escape from Maria's Army.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,026 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/10/2013 - Jasper, Charlotte, Maria, Peter - Complete
Beginning of Hell reviews
Everytime someone asks me to tell them my story, the nightmares begin...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,538 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/10/2013 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Jasper
The Strategy reviews
How Maria met Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,163 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Jasper - Complete
Call of the Wild reviews
It's been a while for Billy Black, can Ruth Call help him feel...The Call of the Wild
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,082 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Billy - Complete
Prisioner of the Gods reviews
That was the legacy that my mother left to me-the knowledge that there was no escape short of death.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,220 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Maria, Vladimir - Complete
The Bite reviews
This is the beginning of Maria.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,142 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/10/2011 - Maria, Vladimir - Complete
Balaur and Iele
My winning entry in PiPe's Public Affair Contest. After many years apart searching for and gaining power, Vladimir and Maria are finally together again. To see the image it was based on, go to www dot twiwrite dot net/viewuser dot php?uid 61
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,163 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Maria, Vladimir - Complete
Thoughts from the Background reviews
A very short little sample of Jasper's thoughts on family.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 892 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/22/2010 - Jasper - Complete
Beginning of HellOuttake from Chapter 2 reviews
Miguel's take on Jasper's transformation.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,208 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Complete
A Good Day reviews
A tiny little lemon just for fun.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 644 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/21/2010 - Jasper - Complete
The Vetting of Carlisle reviews
Edward as a ballarina, Emmett is a lion tamer and Jasper is a Rodeo Clown Alice is a construction worker and Bella is the bearded lady! Esme is a madame and Carlisle is the President of the US. Rose is...a...er...strong woman
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,061 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/18/2010 - Complete