Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter.
I decided to to put something up here so it won't look so empty. I am not a writer but I am obsessed with finding and reading good fanfictions in the fandoms: Harry Potter, Naruto, Hikaru no Go, Death Note, Alex Rider, Sherlock and as of late Final Fantasy 7. I read all kinds of stories as long as they are well written, but am especially fond of slash and time-travel fics.
I have a forum now where I put up my ideas for ffs that I would like to see written, so take a look at it if you are looking for inspiration. It's name is "My Challenges, plot ideas".
My Avatar is a fanart uploaded by Yukipon on deviantart. It is worth it to take a look at her account, especially for Snape/Harry Fans.
If you read this because you got a review from me, I should probably mention that I am terrible at writing reviews. I always have problems describing what I liked about a story. So Instead I concentrate on what I thought strange/disliked. Because of that I often fear that my reviews sound like I only critisize a story, even though the fact that I reviewed already means that I really liked something about your story/the whole story.
Now some interesting numbers about the Harry Potter series:
June 1997 Philosopher's Stone 76944 words
July 1998 Chamber of Secrets - 85141 words
July 1999 Prisoner of Azkaban - 107253 words
July 2000 Goblet of Fire - 190637 words
June 2003 Order of the Phoenix - 257045 words
July 2005 Half-Blood Prince - 168923 words
July 2007 Deathly Hallows - 204796 words
Official Word Count Provided by Scholastic Inc (except DH).
-Funny how there are countless fics that are longer than one book and even a few that are longer than all seven books together
Here are some jokes, phrasas and poems that I liked/laughed about. I found them on various profiles and dont claim them as my property. If I quoted anyone without claiming them as a source, you can pm me so I can correct that. Now enjoy:
Save a dragon. Kill a princess.
-On a Korean Kitchen knife- "Do not put in children"
Commas: they save lives.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
"Don't judge a book by its movie."
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.
It begins with a character, and once he stands up on his feet and begins to move, all I do is trot along behind him with paper and pencil, trying to keep up. - Faulkner
I wonder why everyone goes to church and prays on Sunday if it is God's day off.
Nothing never doesn't mean anything...or something. (Ron Weasley in Dancing with Deceit by The Fictionist)
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
Now and then I announce ''I know you are listening'' to empty rooms. If Im wrong, no one knows. And if Im right, maybe I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.
In the last few seconds before a person dies...you get to see who they really are.
Tell a man he has a hundred years to live and watch him waste it.
(byjamie2109 in „A Certain Kind of Memory“ chapter 7)
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much. (by Oscar Wilde)
Be nice to your enemies, nothing irks them more!
I have the body of an eighteen year-old. I keep it in the fridge. (wonderful disturbing )
"Disturbing? Who am I disturbing? This is a coma ward! Don't you WANT them to wake up?"
"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, then they never were."
There is no black and white, only gray. (completely overused I know)
Fate is dictated by irony. Either that or a dark sense of humor.
Heaven kicked me out. Hell is afraid Ill take over. (Love it)
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
God sees everything, Satan does something about it.
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box—Italian Proverb
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
Der Arzt, zu einem dringenden Hausbesuch gerufen, wird an der Haustür von einer schluchzenden Frau empfangen: "Sie sind umsonst gekommen, Herr Doktor!" - "Nicht umsonst, nur vergebens!"
Kommt ein Einarmiger in ein Second-hand Geschäft …
Treffen sich zwei Jäger. Beide tot.
"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky." – Alan Moore
Brünette Ihren Finger und drückt ihn gegen den Ellbogen und schreit. Sie drückt ihn gegen das Knie und schreit wiederum, dann drückt sie ihn gegen den Bauch und schreit, usw.
Darauf sagt der Doktor: "Sie sind nicht wirklich brünett?" "Nein", antwortet sie, "Ich bin in Wirklichkeit blond". "Das dachte ich mir", meinte der Arzt, "denn Ihr Finger ist gebrochen".
If you go through hell, keep going. (true, pragmatic advice)
Love isn't the answer; it's the problem.
You never get a second chance to leave a first impression.
I am what the world made of me.
The world has boundless possibilities... they just dont appeal to me.
If doing the right thing were easy, everyone would do it.
What is unsaid doesnt have to be unheard.
If you cant do anything else always mess with their heads.
But even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Home is where the heart is.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Behind every great man stands an even greater woman.
Men, chocolate, and coffee are better off rich.
I never trust something that bleeds 4-5 days of every month and doesn't die.
"Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that would be called cannibalism, and that is indeed frowned upon in many societies" -Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
"I bet he showers...naked!" -A fangirl of the Prince in Ella Enchanted. Best. Fangirl line. Ever.
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolut fatal. I don't suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives
Politics: "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Light travels quicker than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them talk.
Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?"
The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
You are unique, just like everybody else.
I don’t have a dog. I eat my own homework.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Death is God's way of saying, 'You're fired!' with no second chance. Suicide is humanity's way of saying, 'You can't fire me! I quit!
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Nothing is impossible / Nothing..is impossible. (from some fic, one has to know the story to understand the joke)
HP:'We'll travel by floo, Arabella, if we may use some of your floo powder?' 'Yes, yes, it's on the mantelpiece in the urn. No, not that one, that's Grandmother, the floo powder's in the maroon one.' (From a really great/funny fic, cant remember the title but I know I have it in my favorites list...somewhere)
The scarred man smirked before looking at the occupants in the bed, “Hello, law abiding citizens,” his gaze shifted to the three Uchihas, “Marginally law abiding citizens,” and then his eyes fell on Kisame, “… citizen.”
"You… sometimes…" Fujisaki suddenly rounded on Akira. A glance around confirmed he was in Atari, as the other girls had walked up behind him. "You wouldn't mind if we came along, would you?" I resign! I resign! (A Rival Story by SofiaDragon)
DADA 'Defense Against the Dark Arts Professors'
In that moment I could not hate him. Then he vomited on my shoes. (from The Basement by Marz1, hilarious fic)
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
ONLY IN AMERICA...
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks
...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front
...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8
...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter
...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke
...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages
...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place
...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures
Thoughts on Gay Marriage!
1) Gay marriage is not natural, and, as Americans, we reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and liposuction.
2) Gay marriage will encourage straight people to be gay in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because dogs have legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all. Women are still property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriages would be less meaningful if gay marriage was allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spear's 55 hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed upon an entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and female figure in a home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage would change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Support gay marriage!
The Road goes ever on and on
Pursuing it with eager feet,
J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring
These are newspaper headlines that are...well they made me laugh. These were copied from a profile (together with the comments) after i couldn't stop laughing
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
And the winner is...
-It’s not just me right?
Really Dumb Store labels: (again copied together with the comments)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On a Myer hairdryer:
On a bag of
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
On some frozen dinners:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
Black and White:
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Funny In Flight Annoucements
1. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
6.From a Southwest Airlines employee: "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty
,ø ººø,øººø,øººø,øºº ø,ø ººø,øºº ø,øºº ø,øºº ø,
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
A guy and a girl were speeding over 100km on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down!
Guy: No this is fun!
Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you. Now slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.
In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.
(-I honestly cried when I read that last sentence)
Tread Softly by Dius Corvus (Dont know if this is a real song, but it kinda stuck with me)
Give me a map
I'll pave out the way
All that I ask
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams. Tread softly…
The sorting hat says that I belong in Slytherinr!
Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest."
Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort.
Take the most scientificever created.
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